"With You Always.".
Have you ever _seen Christ_? No, I don't mean have you been to some
uplifting convention, and been tremendously caught by some talented,
earnest speaker, and been swayed by the atmosphere of the hour and place,
and felt that all was not just as it should be with you; and then you
prayed more, and made some new resolves, or re-made some old ones, and
left off some things, and put on some things; I don't mean that, but
this--have you ever _seen Christ_?
No, of course, you don't see Him with these outer eyes. Well, then just
what do I mean practically? _This_--has there come to you a real sense of
Himself? of His presence? of the tremendous plea His presence makes? and,
possibly, you don't know just how to answer. You say, "I'm not just sure,"
or "How can I know?" Well, you'll never say it that way, nor ask that
question again after the experience has come.
May I tell you a little bit about it? Yet, mark you, only "a little bit."
You can never _tell_ another one what it means to see _Him_. When once the
sight has come, every word you utter about it, or Him, seems so lame and
weak that you despair of ever being able to let out at your lips what has
gotten into you. But let me try, even if lamely, in the eager yearning
that it may help you know if, thus far, you have missed seeing _Him_, and
maybe--so much better--help you to _see_ Him. For until you have--well,
nothing, absolutely nothing, is worth while.
When you see Him there comes such a sense of _His purity_ that, instantly,
you are down on your face in utter despair, because of your own self--your
impurity; your lack of purity; the sharp contrast between Him and you. You
feel that young Isaiah's outcry in the temple that morning is wholly
inadequate. "Unclean lips," is it? Why, the whole thing, from innermost
recesses clear through and out, is unclean. Then it dawns upon you that
this is really what Isaiah is feeling and trying to express in his "woe"
and "undone."
And that vivid sense of contrast between Him and you never grows less, but
more acute and deeper. Even when you come to know Him better, and the
sweet peace comes with its untellable balm to your spirit, yet you are
always conscious of the contrast, and you know that _you_ are not pure;
only _He_ is; and all you can do is to keep under the cleansing stream of
His blood, very low down.
"Never higher than His piercèd feet,
Never farther than His bleeding side."
With that comes such a sense of _Himself_, of His--what word can tell
it?--His glory,--which means simply His character, what He is in
Himself--that again words can never tell out the sense of your own
littleness; no, that is not the word, your own _nothingness_. And now you
recall, with an inner shrinking, how well you have thought of yourself,
how much you have talked about yourself and your view of things, perhaps
in the language of a properly phrased humility. Now you are dumb. His
presence dumbs you. You begin to wonder at the strange self-confidence and
self-complacence that have been so common even in your holiest moments and
experiences. It seems, in this Presence, as though you could never open
your lips again--except to speak of _Him_.
Then your eyes are drawn more intently to His person,--His face, His
wounds. The scars where the thorns tore His great, patient face; the
grief-whitened hair, draped above those deep, tender, unspeakable eyes;
that strangely rough place in the palm so lovingly outstretched; the
spear-scar, the nail-marks in those feet coming over to you,--these grip
you. Their meaning begins to come. There's cleansing; yes, blessed fact!
there's _cleansing_ from this horrid impurity whose stain you are so
conscious of. Yet, what it cost Him! What my impurity forced upon Him!
Yes, cleansed; blessed Jesus! What a relief to be cleansed! Yet I must
_stay_ under the stream; only so can the sense of relief be continual.
And I must stay down on my face at His feet. It is the only place for such
as I discover myself to be. Yet what grace to let me stay at His feet!
Have you _seen Christ_? This is what begins to come when you have--His
purity, your contrasted lack; His glorious self, your own nothingness in
yourself; His suffering--the price of your cleansing. This is only a
beginning, yet a beginning that comes to be the continuous thing.
Closer Acquaintance.
After a little, as you are sitting still in His presence, and have become
a bit quieter after that flush of first emotions at seeing Him, you begin
to be caught all anew with how _lovable_ He is. This takes great hold of
you. I overheard a once-drunken, now thoroughly changed man, up in
Scotland, as he was fairly pouring out his heart in prayer in his sweet,
broad Scotch,--"Once Thou didst have no form or comeliness to me, but
now"--and it seemed as if all the pent-up feelings within rushed at once
to flood-tide--"_now_ Thou art the chiefest among ten thousand, and the
One altogether lovely." And the high-water mark of the flood was touched
on "chiefest" and "altogether."
That first look made you think mostly of your-self--an inner loathing. Now
you think of _Him_. He is so lovable, so true and tender, and patient and
pure; again your language gives out, and you feel better content just to
look without trying to use words. They're such poor things when it comes
to telling about Him. He is so much more than anything that can be said
about Him. His will is so wise and thoughtful and far-reaching and loving.
Strange how stupid you have been in insisting so strenuously and blindly
on having your own way. His plan, His thought about everything concerning
you, is _so_ superb. And He asks me to be His follower. What joy! What if
the way be a bit rough; it's following _Him_; that's enough. He calls me
to be His personal friend. I can hardly take it in,--His _friend_? Yes,
that's His own word. Well, let any thorns tear because of the narrowing of
the road; I'm His friend, man, do you hear? His _friend_,--do you get hold
of that word? What can any thorn thing do against that!
"We" may go hand in hand now,--His is pierced; I feel the scar where our
hands touch. But we're together at last, _the_ thing He has been working
for. I can feel His presence. I can hear the low music of His voice
within. Thorns don't count here. Oh, yes, I _feel_ them; they haven't lost
their power to slash and sting,--but--with _Him_ so close
alongside!--Wondrous Christ, here I am at Thy feet, Thy glad slave
forever. I'm wholly Thine. It's my own choice. I'll never go any other way
by Thy grace. This is the second bit that comes, the glad surrender of
life to His mastery. Do you know about this? You will, when you've _seen
Christ_.
Then you come to know, without being able to tell just how, that He is
not only _with_ you, but _within_ you. At first His presence may have
seemed as something outside yourself. You were looking away at some One
who was looking at you. And His look at you broke your heart, and made
your will, once so strangely strong in itself, now as strangely pliable to
His as only a strong will can be. But now He is living within you. You may
not be clear just how the change came. But you do know that there's a
something which you come to know is a some One, who is within. His
presence is peace past understanding, but not past appreciation. There's a
longing for His Word, a desire to talk with Him even when you don't want
to ask for something, a deep heart-cry for purity, a burning within to
please Him. These all seem to come from Him, and at the same time to be
satisfied by Himself, even while they remain and increase.
And yet more, while this Presence within seems so quietly real and
exquisitely peace-bringing, there is still the outer presence, the One
whose presence it was at the first that brought all this change. Two
presences, one above, enthroned there; one within, enthroned there; yet
they seem the same, as though one personality with two presences had come
into your consciousness. There's the Lord Jesus above at the Father's
right hand; here's the Holy Spirit within at my right hand,[120] yet in
practical effect they are as one, while one's thought is always directed
to the Lord Jesus both within and above.
The Presence within makes you think wholly of the Presence above, who yet
seems also to be within. You are getting a taste of the practical meaning
of the Trinity now, three that in effect are as one. But you are too much
taken up with the gladness of it to think about the metaphysics of it.
He--whether within, or above, or both--is so much more than words. The
experience is so much more than any explanation. You are not concerned
about the explanation so long as you can have the sweet experience.
The Final Goal.
This is the third bit that comes when you've seen Christ, the gracious
indwelling of the Lord Jesus' other self, the Holy Spirit. But if you have
seen Him, you are probably not counting steps nor analyzing processes, but
just singing a bit of joyous praise to Him.
Then there's _the outer turn; He_ does that. He draws you to Himself, and
yet at the same time sends you away--no, not _from_ Him--_for_ Him, out to
the others He hungers after, even as after you. Up, in, out,--so He draws
and directs, up to Himself, in by contrast to one's self with a holding
hard to Him while looking within, then a sending out to the others. He
kindles a fire, He is a fire, drawing, burning, cleansing, warming, then
driving you forth, and doing all at the same time. Wondrous fine, this
fire of love--of His heart--of Himself. The common word for this is
"service." The word doesn't matter much. Service is a good word. But the
thing that comes seems so much more than this word seems to contain.
That hand that was pierced, which has been to you so tender and warm, and
in its clasp so expressive of this wondrous friendship--that hand now
leads you where you had not thought of going. _And you go_,--aghast almost
at first at the radical change in your carefully worked out plans, losing
your breath for a moment as you wonder what "they" _will_ think (though
"they" never will _understand_, unless--ah, yes, unless they see _Him_).
That hand reaches in where your life touches others, in the family, the
business circle, the social circle, and moulds you over anew in the old
relationships, not taking you away from them (though there may be some
partings), but making you a new presence in the midst of them.
That hand reaches into your pocket, and your safety-deposit box, in among
the title papers and securities, and shakes off the dust and rust, and
sends them out on an errand after the others. That fire--Himself--draws
all into the smelting-pot. Its alchemy transmutes possessions into lives,
redeemed, sweetened, Jesus-touched, Christ-renewed lives, made like
Himself. And the sweet music of their new lives comes up into _His_
gladdened ears, and a few of the strains come to cheer you. One may have
at first a strange feeling of bareness, for things that we've always clung
to as essential have gone out from us to others. But with the outgoing of
things has come an incoming of _Himself_, in greater abundance than we
dreamed possible. He, within, completely overbalances what He has sent out
from us into use. _He_--He is _everything_.
The usual word for all this is "service," a blessed word. Yet service
seems to suggest your doing something for Him among others. This is quite
different. It is _His_ doing something _with_ you for others. The thing
itself is so much more than any word. Christ is so much more than anything
you say about Him. The truth is always less than Himself. But one never
understands how much that means till he has seen Christ. Have _you_ seen
Christ? Then others shall see Him, too, in you, and through you.
This is the glory of the goal--face to face with Himself. It begins now.
It is a very real thing. This is a bit of the meaning of that mountain
beatitude, "the pure in heart ... shall _see God_." Yet only he who sees
understands what seeing means. The subtle intensity of God's presence
cannot be explained, only understood by the purified in heart. Only the
opened eyes see.
But this is only a beginning. There will be the far greater glory of the
final goal, as we come into His immediate presence, literally face to
face. That may be when we are called away from the lower road up to the
higher reaches, above the clouds and the blue, the glory-reaches, up where
He now sits. It may be by that goal coming nearer, by Himself actually
coming on the clouds in great glory, for His own and for the next chapter
in His great world-plan. Then we shall be caught up into His presence.
Then we shall be fully like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.
And we shall be sharers in His glory, in the Kingdom time of glad earth
service. But we shall be thinking only of Himself--face to face.