Ester was sitting upon the back porch, hulling strawberries and watching
with absent amusement the tireless efforts of Jane to induce a very fat
and entirely brainless pup to shake hands. It had been a busy day, for
owing to the absence of the free and independent "Saturday Help" Esther
had insisted upon helping Aunt Amy in the kitchen. Now the Saturday pies
and cakes were accomplished and only the strawberries lay between Esther
and freedom.
She had intended, a little later, to walk out along the river road in
search of marguerites, but when Mary, more than usually restless after
her fainting spell of yesterday, had offered to go instead, she had not
demurred. It would be quite as pleasant to take a book and sit out under
the big elm. Esther was at that stage when everything seems to be for
the best in this "best of all possible worlds." She was living through
those suspended moments when life stands tiptoe, breathless with
expectancy, yet calm with an assurance of joy to come.
With the knowledge that Henry Callandar was not quite as other men, had
come an intense, delicious shyness; the aloofness of the maiden who
feels love near yet cannot, through her very nature, take one step
to meet it.
There was no hurry. She was surrounded with a roseate haze, lapped in
deep content; for, while the doctor had learned nothing from their last
meeting under the elm, Esther had learned everything. She had not seemed
to look at him as they parted, yet she had known, oh, she had known very
well, how he had looked at her! All she wanted, now, was to be alone
with that look; to hold it there in her memory, not to analyse or
question, but to glance at it shyly now and again, feeding with quick
glimpses the new strange joy at the heart.
"D'ye think He ever forgets to put brains into dogs?" asked Jane
suddenly. "Oh, you silly thing, don't roll over like that! Stop
wriggling and give me your paw!"
"He, who?" vaguely.
Jane made a disgusted gesture. "You're not listening, Esther! You know
there is only one Person who puts brains into dogs!"
"But Pickles is such a puppy, Jane. Give him time."
"It's not age," gloomily. "It's stupidness. All puppies are stupid, but
Pickles is the most abnormously stupid puppy I ever saw."
Esther laughed. "Where did you get the word, ducky?"
"From the doctor. It was something he said about Aunt Amy. Say, Esther,
isn't he going to take you driving any more? I saw him going past this
very afternoon. He turned down towards the river road. There was lots of
room. Next time he takes you, may Pickles and me go too?"
"Pickles and I, Jane."
"Well, may we?"
"I don't know. Perhaps. When did the doctor go past?"
"Nearly two hours ago. I wonder if there's some one kick down there?
Bubble says they're getting a tremenjous practice. I don't like Bubble
any more. He thinks he's smart. I don't like Ann, either. I shan't ask
her to my birthday party."
"I thought you loved Ann."
"Well, I don't. She thinks she's smart!"
"Ann, too? Smartness must be epidemic."
"It's all on account of the doctor," gloomily. "They can't get over
having him boarding at their place. I told Ann that my own father was a
doctor, but she said dead ones didn't count. Then I told her that my
mother didn't have to keep boarders anyway."
"That was a naughty, snobbish thing to say. I'm ashamed of you!"
"What's 'snobbish'?"
"What you said was snobbish. Think it over and find out."
Jane was silent, apparently thinking it over. The fat pup, tired with
unwonted mental exertions, curled up and went to sleep. Esther returned
to her dreams. Then, into the warm hush of the late afternoon came the
quick panting of a motor car.
"There he is!" cried Jane excitedly. "Let's both run down to the gate to
see him."
"Jane!" Esther's cheeks were the colour of her ripest berry. "Jane, come
here! I forbid you--Jane!"
"He's stopping anyway. He'll be coming in. You had better take off that
apron.--Oh, look! Some one's with him. Why," with some disappointment,
"it's mother! He is letting her out. I don't believe he is coming in at
all--let go! Esther, you pig, let me go!"
She wriggled out of her sister's firm hold but not before the motor had
started again; when she reached the gate it was out of sight.
Mrs. Coombe surveyed her daughter coldly. "You are a very ill-mannered
child," she said, and putting her aside walked slowly up the path and
around the house to where Esther sat on the back porch.
"Where are the daisies?" asked Esther, looking up from her berries.
"The daisies?" vaguely. "Good gracious! I forgot all about the daisies."
"Didn't you get any?"
"Heaps, but the fact is I didn't bring them home. I felt so tired. I
don't know how I should have managed to get home myself if Dr. Callandar
hadn't picked me up."
"Dr. Callandar?" Esther's voice was mildly questioning.
"Yes, why not?"
"I thought you had not met him."
"Neither I had--at least I hadn't met him for a good many years." Mary
gave a little excited laugh. "But that's the funny part of it--he is an
old friend."
Esther looked up with her characteristic widening of the eyes. The news
was genuinely surprising. And how agitated her mother seemed!
"It is really quite a remarkable coincidence," went on Mary nervously.
"I was so surprised, startled indeed. Although it's pleasant, of course,
to meet an old schoolmate."
"You and Doctor Callandar schoolmates?" The eyes were very wide now.
Mary grew more and more confused.
"Yes--that is, not exactly. I mean his name wasn't Callandar then. His
name was Chedridge. Did you never hear me speak of Harry Chedridge?"
"Never."
"Well, you never listen to half I say. And how was I to know that Doctor
Callandar was the Harry Chedridge I used to know? He took the name of
Callandar from an uncle--or something. Anyway it isn't his own."
Esther hulled a particularly fine berry and carefully putting the hull
in the pan, threw the berry away.
"Curiouser and curiouser!" she said, quoting the immortal Alice. "Did
you recognise him at once?"
If it be possible for a lady of this enlightened age to simper, Mrs.
Coombe simpered. "He recognised me at once!" with faint emphasis on
the pronouns.
The girl choked down a rising inclination to laugh.
"Why shouldn't he? I suppose you haven't changed very much."
"Hardly at all, he says; at least he says he would have known me
anywhere. But it's quite a long time, you know, terribly long. I was a
young girl then. Naturally, he was much older."
"I should have thought so. That's why it seems queer--your having been
schoolmates."
Mrs. Coombe looked cross. "I did not mean schoolmates in that sense."
"Oh, merely in a Pickwickian sense!" Esther's laugh bubbled out.
Mary arose. She was afraid to risk more at present, until she had been
to her room and--rested awhile. "You are rude, as usual," she said with
dignity. "When I said that Dr. Callandar and I were schoolmates I meant
simply that we were old friends, that we knew each other when we were
both younger. I do not see anything at all humorous in the statement."
"No, of course not!" with quick compunction. "It's quite lovely. Just
like a book. Why didn't he come in?"
The question was so cleverly casual that no one could have guessed the
girl's consuming interest in the answer. But its cleverness had overshot
the mark, for so colourless was the tone in which it was asked that Mary
did not notice it at all. Instead she retreated steadily along her
own line.
"I hope I always treat your friends with proper courtesy, Esther. And I
shall expect you to do the same with mine. Dr. Callandar is a very old
friend indeed. Should he call to-night I wish you to receive him
as such."
"I'll try," said the girl demurely.
The way of escape was now open, but Mrs. Coombe hesitated. She seemed to
have something else to say. Something which did not come easily. "It's
horrid living in a town like Coombe," she burst out. "People always want
to know everything. We met the elder Miss Sinclair on the river
road--you know what that means! If people ask you any question--or
anything--you had better tell them at once that Dr. Callandar is not a
stranger."
"I should not dream of suppressing the fact."
"You see," again that odd hesitation, "he may call--rather often.
And--people talk so easily."
Despite her care, Esther's sensitive face flamed in answer to the
quickened beat of her heart. What an odd thing for her mother to say!
What did she mean? Was it possible that he had already told her--asked
her? Or had she merely guessed? There was a moment's pause, and then,
"Let them talk!" said the girl softly. "It can't make any difference, to
them, how often Dr. Callandar calls."
Mrs. Coombe looked doubtful, hesitated once more, but finally turned
away without speaking. As she went, she cast a careless glance at Aunt
Amy, who stood just within the kitchen doorway, a curiously watchful
look in her usually expressionless eyes.
"Berries all ready, Auntie," said Esther cheerfully. "What's the matter
with me as a Saturday Help?"
But Aunt Amy did not smile as she usually did.
"She's gone to get dressed," she said abruptly, indicating with a
backward gesture Mrs. Coombe's retiring figure.
"Well?"
"For him. She's gone to get dressed for him."
Esther was puzzled. "Why shouldn't she? Oh, I forget you didn't know!
It's quite a romance. Mother used to know Dr. Callandar when she was a
girl. 'We twa hae rin aboot the braes,' you know. Only it seems so
funny. Fancy, Dr. Callandar and mother! But we shan't have to worry any
more about her health. She can't possibly avoid him now."
Aunt Amy was not listening. The curiously watchful look was still in her
eyes and suddenly, apropos of nothing, she began to wring her hands in
the strange, dumb way which always preceded one of her characteristic
mental agonies,--agonies which, far beyond her understanding as they
were, never failed to awake profound compassion in Esther.
"What is it, dear?" she asked gently. "Are you not so well?"
"Don't you ever feel things, Esther? Don't you ever sense
things--coming?"
"No, dear. And neither do you, when you are well. You are tired." She
placed her hands firmly upon the locked hands of Aunt Amy and with
tender force attempted to separate them. But Jane, who had been a silent
but interested spectator, spoke eagerly.
"Don't, Esther! Do let her tell us what is coming. You know she always
tells right when she wrings her hands. Go on, Auntie--"
"Jane, be quiet! I'll tell you why afterwards. Auntie dear, sit down."
'Aunt Amy's hands relaxed and the strange look faded. "It's nothing,"
she said. "It's gone! I must be more careful. Do not mention it to your
mother, children. She might think me queer again, and I am not at all
queer any more. You have noticed that I'm not, haven't you, Esther? I'll
do anything you say, my dear."
"Then lie out in the hammock while I get supper. The berries are all
ready. Then we'll all get dressed. Jane may wear one of her new frocks
and you shall wear your grey voile. It will be quite a party."
"Will there be ice cream? Because if there isn't I don't want to get
dressed," sighed Jane. "My new things don't fit. They look like bags."
"It will soon be holidays and then I'll fix them for you."
Jane laid a childish cheek to her sister's hand.
"Nice Esther," she cooed. "I'm sorry I called you a pig." Then, in a
change of tone as they left Aunt Amy resting in the hammock, "Esther,
why is Auntie so afraid of mother lately? She says such queer things I
don't know what she means."
"Neither do I, dear. But I think it is just a passing fancy. She was
very much hurt about the ring being sold. When she gets it back she will
forget about it."
"She looks at mother as if she hates her."
"Oh, no!" in a startled tone. "How can you say such a thing, Jane?"
"But she does. I've seen her. I don't blame her. I think it was
horrid--"
"That's enough. You know nothing about it. Little girls who do not
understand have no right to criticise."
"Fred says it was the most underhan--"
"Jane, one word more and you shall have no berries to-night. Duck, don't
you realise that you are speaking in a very unkind way of your
own mother."
The child's eyes filled with ready tears, but her little mouth was
stubborn. "Auntie's more my mother, Esther, and so are you. And it was
mean to take the ring and I don't care whether I have any berries
or not."
Supper was a very quiet meal that night. Mrs. Coombe, interrupted in the
process of dressing, came down in an old kimono, but ate almost nothing,
Jane was sullen, Aunt Amy silent and Esther happily oblivious to
everything save her own happy thoughts.
As soon as she could, she slipped away to her own room, and, choosing
everything with care, began to dress herself as a maiden dresses for the
eye of her lover. She was to be all in white, her dainty dress, her
petticoats, stockings and shoes. White made her look younger than ever,
absurdly young. He had never seen her all in white and she knew quite
well how soft it made the shadows of her hair, how startlingly blue her
eyes, how warm and living the ivory of her lovely neck.
"Oh, I am glad I am pretty!" she whispered to her mirror. "Glad, glad!"
Then with a laugh at her own childishness she "touched wood" to
propitiate the jealous fates and ran down stairs to hide herself in the
duskiest corner of the veranda.
It was delightful there. The cooling air was sweet with the mingled
perfumes of the garden border below, an early star had fallen,
sparkling, upon the blue-grey train of departing day, a whispering
breeze crept, soft-footed, through the shrubbery. Esther lay back in the
long chair and closed her eyes. For thirty perfect moments she waited
until the click of the garden gate announced his coming. Then she sprang
up, smiling, blushing,--peering through the screen of vines--
A man was coming up the path. At first sight he seemed a stranger, some
one who walked heavily, slowly--the doctor's step was quick and
springing. Yet it was he! She drew back, shyly, yet looked again. Some
one, in a pretty green silk gown, had slipped out from under the big elm
and was meeting him with outstretched hands.
"Mother," thought Esther, "how strange!"
They had paused and were talking together. Mary's high, sweet laugh
floated over the flowers, then her voice, a mere murmur. His voice,
lower still. Then silence. They had turned back, together, down the
lilac walk.
Esther sat down again. She felt numb. She closed her eyes as she had
done before. But all the dreams, all the happy thoughts were gone. She
opened them abruptly to find Aunt Amy staring down upon her, dumbly,
wringing her hands. In the warm summer air the girl shivered.
"What is it?" she asked a little sharply. But Aunt Amy seemed neither to
see nor hear her. She flitted by like some wandering grey moth into the
dim garden, still wringing her hands.
Esther sat up. "How utterly absurd," she said aloud. Indeed she felt
heartily ashamed of herself. To behave like a foolish child, to startle
Aunt Amy into a fit and all because her mother and Dr. Callandar had
gone for a stroll down the lilac walk--the most natural thing in the
world. They would return presently. She had only to wait. But the
waiting was not quite the same. Those golden moments already sparkled in
the past. Nothing could ever be quite the same as if he had come
straight up the path to where she waited for him in the dusk.
* * * * *
In the living-room, Jane who had small patience with twilight, had
lighted the lamp. Its shaded beams fell in golden bars across the
veranda floor. The sky was full of stars, now, but the voice of the
breeze was growing shrill, as if whistling up the rain.
They were coming back along the side of the house. Esther rose quickly
and slipped into the safety of the commonplace with Jane and the lighted
lamp. Mrs. Coombe entered first, there was an instant to observe and
wonder at her. She seemed a different woman, young, pretty, sparkling;
even her hair seemed brighter. Behind her came Callandar and when Esther
saw his face her heart seemed to stop. It was the face, almost, of a man
of middle age, a firm, quiet face with cold eyes.
"Esther!" Mrs. Coombe's voice held incipient reproof.
The girl came forward and offered her hand. The doctor, this new doctor,
took it, let it drop and said, "Good evening, Miss Esther," then turned
to Jane with a politely worded message from Ann and Bubble.
"You can tell them I won't go," said Jane crossly. "They think they are
smart. Just because--"
Esther slipped quietly from the room. In the hall outside she paused,
breathless. She felt as if she had run a long way. Shame enveloped her,
a shame whose cause she could not put into words. She only knew that she
had, in the few seconds of that cold greeting, been profoundly
humiliated. She quivered with the sting of unwarranted expectancy. But
if this had been all, it would have been well. There was something else,
some deeper pain surging through the smart of wounded pride, something
which led her with blind steps into a dark corner of the stairs where
she sat very quiet and still.
Through the open front door, she could see the bars of lamplight on the
deserted veranda, and hear from the open windows of the living-room a
hum of conversation in which Jane seemed to be taking a leading part.
Then came the tinkle of the old piano and Mary's voice, singing, or
attempting to sing, for it was soon apparent that her voice sagged
pitifully on the high notes.
Presently Jane came out, banging the door. Jane's manners, Esther
thought, were really very bad. She had probably banged the door because
she had been sent to bed and she had probably been sent to bed because
she had been saucy. Esther wondered what particular form her sauciness
had taken, but when Jane called softly, "Esther!" she did not answer.
She did not want to put Jane to bed to-night. The child flashed past her
up the stairs and soon could be heard from an upstair window calling
imperatively for Aunt Amy. But Aunt Amy, flitting through the dim garden
wringing her hands, did not hear. Jane, much injured, went to bed by
herself that night.
In the lamp-lit room there was no more music. The murmur of voices grew
less distinct. There were intervals of silence. (Only very old friends
can support a silence gracefully--but of course these two were very old
friends.) Esther wondered, idly, how it would be best to explain her
absence to her mother. Toothache, perhaps? Not that the excuse mattered.
Mary never listened to excuses. She would be cross and fretful anyway
and complain that Esther never treated her friends with proper courtesy.
The best thing she could do would be to go to bed. But she made no
movement to go; the moments ticked by on the hall clock unnoticed.
After a time, which might have been long or short, there was a stir in
the room and her mother's voice called "Esther! Esther!"
The girl stood up, smoothed her white dress, slipped out on to the
veranda and into the garden. From there she answered the call.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Where are you? You sound as if you had been asleep. Doctor Callandar is
going."
Esther came lightly up the steps.
"So soon?"
"It is early," agreed Mrs. Coombe playfully, "but I can't keep him."
Esther, herself in shadow, could see the doctor's face as he stood
quietly beside his hostess. It was full of an endless weariness. Her
pride melted. Impulsively she put out a warm hand--
"Good night, Miss Esther. How very sweet your garden is at night. But it
feels as if our fine weather were over. The wind begins to blow
like rain."
Esther's hand dropped to her side. Perhaps he had not seen it in the
dusk.