_MARIA and OLD LOVEYET discovered sitting._
LOVEYET. It certainly is a mistake, madam; I have sent nothing out of my
house to-day.
MARIA. He said it was from Mr. Loveyet, sir.--I confess I could not
conceive what could induce you to send me a trunk of money.
LOVEYET. Who brought it, madam?
MARIA. A clownish kind of person, sir,--a countryman, I believe.
LOVEYET. Ah, now I begin to suspect something.--What a sad rascal!--want
to cheat his father! But this lucky mistake will spoil his project.
[_Aside._
MARIA. You are striving to unravel the mystery, sir.--I am afraid the man
has made some serious mistake.
LOVEYET. No matter,--it could not have come to a more suitable place; for,
now it is here, it shall be yours, if you will consent to a proposal I have
to make to you; for I have discovered it to be my property, after all.
MARIA. If I can with propriety consent to anything you may propose, I will,
sir;--but I hope you do not think either your or your son's _money_ will
tempt me.
LOVEYET. No, madam,--that is to say, I dare say it will not tempt you to
do anything that is wrong;--but money is a tempting thing too,--though
not quite so tempting as Miss Maria.--Hem, hem.--There was a delicate
compliment for her! [_Aside._
MARIA. Mercy on me! What can the ugly old mortal mean! It cannot be
possible he would have the vanity to propose his odious self.
[_Aside._
LOVEYET. You must know, madam, my son has lately arrived from the
West-Indies--
MARIA. Really?--You rejoice me, sir.--Happy, happy Harriet!
LOVEYET. Not so happy as you imagine, madam; for she is not to have my son,
I assure you; I intend a lady of greater beauty and merit for him, who is
not very far from me now,--provided she and her father have no
objection.--There I put it home to her [_Aside._]. Ugh, ugh.
MARIA. I fear there is something in this rumour about Harriet.
[_Aside._
LOVEYET. Come, shall it be so, eigh?--Well, silence gives consent.--I know
you can't have any particular objection. I must have you for a--Ugh, ugh,
uh.
MARIA. I must humour this joke a little. [_Aside._]--The honour you wish to
confer on me, is so great, Mr. Loveyet, that I want words to express a
suitable acknowledgment;--but what will the world say, when a gentleman of
Mr. Loveyet's sedateness and experience stoops to a giddy girl like me?
LOVEYET. By my body, she thinks I want to have her myself.--Why, what a
lucky young dog I am! I wish old Trueman was here now;--'ods my heart, and
my life, and my--ugh, ugh,--but I must talk the matter over coolly with
her. Hem, hem. [_Aside._]--Oh, you dear little charming, angelic
creature;--I love you so much, I cou'd find in my heart to--'Zounds! I
cou'd eat you up.--By my body, but you must give me a sweet kiss. [_Offers
to kiss her._] 'Sblood! I can't bear it any longer. [_Snatches a
kiss._]--Ugh, ugh.
MARIA. What a preposterous old dotard! [_Aside._]--You will excuse me, Mr.
Loveyet; I have company waiting for me.
LOVEYET. By all means, my blossom;--it goes to my very heart to part with
you, though;--but go to your company, my love, go, go.--I wou'dn't
disoblige you, nor put the least thing in your way, for the seraglio--of
the Grand Seignior. You may give up the trunk to my son now, if he calls
for it, my love. [_Exit MARIA._] Oh, what a dear creature! Such sweet
lips,--such panting, precious, plump, little--oh, I cou'd jump out of my
skin at the thoughts of it!--By my body, I must have her, and poor Charles
may have Harriet, for all.--A fig for both the Constitutions now, I say; I
wou'dn't give my dear little Maria for a score of them.
[_Exit._