"I should think this watch was worth lots of money. I have just
counted, and there are forty diamonds, teenies, of course, but still--
And the enamel is so fine. My bracelet has five _big_ diamonds, and a
whole heap of pearls; and there's the necklace, too. Should you think,
Aunt Maria, that they were worth a hundred pounds put together?"
Lady Hayes laid down her knitting, and stared with stony eyes into the
girl's face.
"I have told you before, Darsie, that I excessively dislike surmises as
to the value of presents. I am surprised and disappointed to discover
signs of an avaricious and grasping nature!"
To her surprise and dismay the only reply to this serious aspersion was
a good-natured laugh.
"Goodness gracious, mercy on us!" cried Darsie audaciously. "I'm bad
enough, in all conscience, but I'm not _that_! Not a grasp in me! You
ask any one at home, and they'll tell you I'm quite stupidly generous.
It's not the money for the money's sake, I think of, but for what it
will _do_! I've no use for jewels, Aunt Maria--shan't ever have a
chance of wearing them, like Noreen and Ida. Imagine a daily governess
glittering with gems! But if only--only I could turn them into money,
it might fulfil the big ambition of my life and send me to Newnham,
without troubling father for a penny! Can you wonder that I feel
impatient with watches and chains when I think of _that_?"
"I am sorry, my dear. I did not understand. I apologise!" said Lady
Hayes promptly. It was this unfailing sense of justice, combined with
the dignity which never forsook her under any stress of excitement or
agitation, which had been most largely instrumental in attracting the
girl's admiration. From the impetuous standpoint of youth it seemed an
almost inhuman pinnacle of perfection, but Darsie was quite determined
that at some far-distant elderly epoch--say, in thirty years' time--she
would begin practising these virtues on her own account. They seemed
the only decorous accompaniment of white hair and spectacles.
She stretched out a sunburnt hand and patted the old lady's shoulder
with an affectionate touch.
"All right! Don't worry. It _did_ seem greedy, and of course you
couldn't guess. You see, it's particularly hard because plain Ha-
Hannah Vernon, I mean--is going up, and that seems to make it worse for
me. Her father is richer than ours, and he believes in higher
education, so it's all settled that she is to go to Newnham, and she
talks about it all the time, and pities me when she's in a good temper,
and brags when she's not. And Dan would be at Cambridge, too, and Ralph
Percival, and, oh dear, oh dear, we'd have such _sport_! Balls, and
picnics, and cocoa parties, and boating in summer--no end of lovely
exciting pranks!"
"Excuse me, my dear,"--Lady Hayes was frosty again, staring stonily over
the rim of her spectacles--"excuse me, but would you kindly explain for
what reason you are anxious to go to Cambridge? I had imagined that it
was for education, now it appears that balls and picnics are the
attraction. Which of the two is it of which you are really thinking?"
"Oh, Aunt Maria, I'm a human girl! Of _both_!" cried Darsie, laughing.
"Education first, of course, because of the result, and all it will mean
afterwards, but if you want the truth, I shouldn't be so keen if it
wasn't for the fun! We know a girl who's just come down, and it sounds
such a lovely life... I'd work hard; I love work, and when there is any
on hand there's no peace for me till it's done; but _wouldn't_ I just
play, too! It would be the time of my life. Oh, Aunt Maria, when I
look at the governesses at school, and think that I'm going to be like
that all my days, it _does_ seem hard that I shouldn't have just two or
three years _first_ of the life I want!"
The words, the tone, both bore a touch of real pathos; nevertheless Lady
Hayes smiled, as if, so far from being pained by the sad prospect, she
found something amusing in the contemplation.
"It is a mistake to look too far ahead in life, but of course if you
contemplate teaching, you ought to be thoroughly equipped." She was
silent for a moment, gazing thoughtfully through the window. Then in a
level, perfectly commonplace voice she continued: "I shall be pleased,
my dear, to defray the expenses of your course at Newnham..."
The manner in which our great ambitions in life meet their realisation
is always and inevitably other than we have imagined. Sometimes so many
years have passed by since the dreaming of the cherished plans, that the
eager spirit is transformed into a wearied and dispirited being, to whom
fulfilment brings no joy; sometimes it comes freighted with
complications which rob it of half its zest; sometimes it brings no
charm at all, but only bitterness and disappointment; and again--oh,
often again, thank God for His mercies!--it comes at the moment of
hopelessness, of renunciation, dazzling the eyes and heart with a very
incredulity of joy.
Those few quiet words in an old woman's voice transformed for Darsie
Garnett the whole path ahead, making what had seemed a far-away vision
become a solid, tangible fact. Quietly, prosaically, without any
nourish of trumpets, the great prize of life had been handed into her
grasp.
She sat motionless, staring with distended eyes, while Lady Hayes
continued to speak in calm, even tones.
"I should like to explain to you, my dear, that I am not as rich a woman
as I appear. It was my dear husband's wish that I should continue to
occupy this house for the term of my life, but after that it passes to
his relations. It is an expensive place to keep up, and leaves little
margin out of the income which goes with it. I cannot save as I should
have wished, and my own property is not large. When it is divided among
my various nephews and nieces, there will not be much for each. I
should like to have done more for your father, as he has a large family
to provide for, but it is impossible. In your case, however, you have
done me a kindness in spending these weeks with me when I needed
companionship--and, I think, we are good friends! I can spare a few
hundreds to give you your training _and_ your fun--and it will be a
pleasure to me to do so. I will make a formal arrangement in my will so
that in the case of my--so that in any case the money may be
forthcoming. So, my dear, you may look upon the matter as settled, and
make your arrangements accordingly."
Darsie put her hands to her head. Her cheeks were white, but around her
eyes and nose an increasing pinkness of hue betrayed the inward struggle
of emotion.
"I'm going to cry! I'm going to cry!" she cried. And when Lady Hayes
began a protest, "Oh, Aunt Maria, don't, _don't_ be proper!" she pleaded
piteously. "I can't bear it just now. Please, please let me thank you
in my own way! I must howl! I _must_! I'm all seething and churning
with emotion, and if I don't cry I shall burst; but oh, I _do_ love
you--I adore you--I shall worship you until my dying day... You'll be
like a saint to me. I'll put you up on a pedestal and burn incense to
you every day of my life. If you _knew_ what it meant! And I've been
so mean and hateful--such a contemptible little worm! Oh, if I lived a
hundred thousand years, I could never repay you for this!"
"My dear, does it strike you that you are talking in a very wild,
exaggerated fashion?"
"I am, I am! Girls _do_, Aunt Maria, when they are off their heads with
joy. Wild, I mean, not exaggerated--I mean it, every word. Oh, I
_must_ hug you. Never mind your cap; I must give you a bear hug, if I
die for it. Dear, dearest, kindest, best--"
The old lady's stiff, upright figure disappeared bodily within the
swooping arms; she was squeezed, hugged, rocked to and fro, and pelted
with kisses until she was speechless and gasping for breath. When she
was released her cap was askew, and the muslin folds in the front of her
gown crumpled out of recognition; but for a marvel she spoke no word of
reproach, and Darsie saw, with a sobering thrill, a glitter as of tears
in the old eyes, and the mental question which arose at the sight was
answered with intuitive sharpness. It was so long since she had been
hugged before, so many, many years since anything more than a
conventional peck had been pressed upon her cheek! Old, stern, proper
as she was, Aunt Maria loved to be loved!
For the rest of the morning Darsie was as subdued and gentle in manner
as she had hitherto been boisterous. The future was discussed in
detail, and plans made which revolutionised more and more her future
life, for Lady Hayes seemed to take for granted that in taking upon
herself the responsibility for the girl's education she had earned a
certain right to her society. Such phrases as "And in the holiday-time
we can discuss," "When you are here in the summer vacation," "I shall
look forward to hearing your descriptions," could not be misunderstood,
but for the moment the big gain outweighed the loss, and Darsie smiled
on unperturbed. In time to come the sacrifice of merry family holidays
would of a certainty demand its toll of suffering, but why encourage
trouble that lay ahead when the present was so blissfully full of
contentment?
When lunch was over Darsie tucked her hostess on the sofa, and hailed
with delight the opportunity of a free hour in which to dream
uninterrupted over the wonderful development of the day.
"I'll go out and walk it off. I'll rush down to the village and
telegraph home. I can't possibly wait to write. How can I put it so
that it will be plain enough and not too plain? `Newnham ahoy!' `I'm
off to Newnham College in the morning!' `Plans for Newnham
satisfactorily arranged. Break news to Hannah.' _Won't_ they stare!
It's a blessing that neither Clemence nor Lavender would care to go if
they had the chance, so they won't be jealous, but Hannah _will_ jump.
And Dan--what will Dan say? It is good luck knowing the boys so well.
We'll make them take us about. To think that I was so furious and
rebellious about this visit, and that it should have ended like this!
It will be a lesson to me for life!"
It was very pleasant to ride through the sweet smelling lanes on this
bright summer afternoon; very pleasant work sending off that telegram to
the parents at the seaside, and drawing mental pictures of the
excitement and rejoicings which would follow its arrival; pleasant to
meet on every side kindly, interested glances, and to realise that if
she were, as Noreen had declared, "the pet of the county," she was
assuredly also "the heroine of the village."
It was a temptation to linger in the quaint little streets; but on this
afternoon of all others Darsie was anxious not to be late for tea, so,
with a sigh of regret, she turned up a side lane leading to the field
path to the Manor, and in so doing came face to face with Ralph
Percival, who, in his lightest and most sporting attire, was escorting a
pack of dogs for an airing. There was the big silky-haired collie whom
Darsie loved, the splay-footed dachshund which she hated, the huge
mastiff which she feared, with one or two terriers of different breeds--
alert, friendly, and gentle-eyed. One and all came sniffing round her
as their master stopped to shake hands, and she stood up stiff and
straight, trying to look at ease, and as if she were not really in
momentary terror of an attack upon her ankles and skirts.
"Halloa!"
"How are you? Still living in a shower of jewels?"
"I _have_ been, but it's clearing off! The combination bracelet
finished the list. Now I'm beginning to live in fear of another
burglary, on myself. It will be a relief to get the things distributed.
Mother is to have the watch, Clemence the pendant, Lavender the brooch,
and I am going to be greedy and keep the bracelet and necklace and ring
for myself."
"What a miser!" cried Ralph, laughing. His grey eyes looked very
handsome and agreeable lit up with the twinkling light of amusement, and
Darsie's spirits rose still a degree higher as he whistled to the dogs
and turned round with the evident intention of accompanying her home.
"We'll come along with you. It doesn't matter where we go so long as we
have a run. Bound for the Manor, I suppose? How's the old lady? In a
good humour, I should say. You look particularly full of beams this
afternoon!"
"I am--brimming over! You see before you, kind sir, the touching
spectacle of a young female who has not a single ungratified wish in the
world, and is so happy that she doesn't know how to preserve a decent
appearance of calm. It's the more extraordinary because she usually
wants quite a lot."
Ralph's eyebrows went up in expressive disdain.
"Re-al-ly! You don't say so! Glad to hear it, I'm shaw! The kind
donors would be much gratified to know of the magic effect of their
gifts. I wonder, under the circumstances, that you could bear to part
from any of them!"
The words were spoken in his most drawling and superior voice, and
brought the blood rushing into Darsie's cheeks. She stood still in the
middle of the road, and glared at him with flashing eyes.
"Horrible boy! What a disagreeable mind you must have, to think such
mean, contemptible thoughts! Bother the jewellery! It may go to
Jericho for all I care. I'm happy for a very different reason. Aunt
Maria has just promised to pay for me to go to Newnham, and that has
been the dream of my life. There's nothing to sneer at, you see, though
perhaps _you_ can manage to be superior even about that!"
"Yes, easily. I hate blue-stockings," said Ralph calmly, but his eyes
twinkled as he spoke, and in spite of herself Darsie was obliged to
smile in response.
"And I hate narrow-minded, prejudiced young men! Oh dear! you've put me
in a bad temper on this day of days, just when I felt that I could never
be cross again. I'll forgive you only because it's impossible to go
_on_ being cross. I've just been to the post-office to telegraph the
great news to my people at the seaside. They'll be wild with
excitement, especially my chum who will be going up at the same time,
Hannah Vernon--`plain Hannah' we call her. Funny nickname, isn't it?"
"Sounds ingratiating!" Voice and expression were alike so expressive
that Darsie went off into a merry trill of laughter, as she hastened to
take up the cudgels in plain Hannah's defence.
"She doesn't care a bit. Jokes about it with the rest. And she is so
funnily ugly that it's really rather dear. _And_ clever! She'll be a
first-class girl, you'll see if she isn't. I shall be nowhere beside
her, but I'm going to _grind_. Let me see: if we go up in three years'
time, when we're eighteen, how long will you have left of your course?"
"Perhaps a year, perhaps two. Depends upon how soon I go up. It isn't
as if I had to go in for a profession or anything of that kind. I shall
spend my life looking after the property, and there's no particular need
to swot for that."
"I hate loafers," said Darsie in her turn, then once more relented and
said genially, "But I don't believe you mean half that you say. Anyway,
I shall look forward to meeting you at Cambridge, and I hope you are
prepared to be kind, and to be ready to return the good offices which I
have been able to render to your respected family."
"I am. What do you want me to do?"
"To be nice to me at Cambridge! I shall be a shy, lone Fresher, and you
can make things much livelier for me if you like. I want you to like!
Dan Vernon will be there, too, but he's so serious and clever that he
won't be much good for the _fun_ part. I want you to promise not to be
superior and proud, but a real friend to take us about, and dance with
us at the balls, and get up picnics on the river. I can manage the work
part for myself, but I want some help for the fun!"
She expected an instant response, but Ralph was too cautious to be drawn
into rash promises.
"Er--what exactly do you mean by `we'?"
"Myself and my chum, of course--Hannah Vernon."
"Plain Hannah?"
"Plain Hannah!"
Ralph shook his handsome head.
"I make no promise as regards plain Hannah. I'm not particularly
partial to plain Hannahs, but I'll do my level best for Darsie Garnett.
Like to! You can count upon me to do my best to give you a rattling
good time."
Darsie regarded him doubtfully, reflected that it was wisdom to accept
what one could get, and smiled a gracious approval.
"Thanks--so much! Then it's a promise?"
"Certainly. A promise!"
They laughed again. The dogs leaped in the air and barked with delight.
Everything and every one seemed happy to-day. Darsie felt that if she
lived to be a hundred she could never, by any possibility, reach a
higher pinnacle of content.