"If I had felt myself able to look at him long enough to form any
opinion, I would not have put mother to the trouble of going with me."
"_Ané-San_ [Elder Sister]!" he exclaimed,--"then what was the use of
going to see him at all?... But," he added, in a more pleasant tone,
"let me wish you luck."
"Anyhow," I said, "to-morrow it will be."
And I returned home.
*
Now the appointed day having come--the twenty-eighth day of the ninth
month--I had so much to do that I did not know how I should ever be
able to get ready. And as it had been raining for several days, the
roadway was very bad, which made matters worse for me--though, luckily,
no rain fell on that day. I had to buy some little things; and I could
not well ask mother to do anything for me,--much as I wished for her
help,--because her feet had become very weak by reason of her great
age. So I got up very early and went out alone, and did the best I
could: nevertheless, it was two o'clock in the afternoon before I got
everything ready.
Then I had to go to the hair-dresser's to have my hair dressed, and to
go to the bath-house--all of which took time. And when I came back to
dress, I found that no message had yet been received from Namiki-Shi;
and I began to feel a little anxious. Just after we had finished
supper, the message came. I had scarcely time to say good-by to all:
then I went out,--leaving my home behind forever,--and walked with
mother to the house of Okada-Shi.
There I had to part even from mother; and the wife of Okada-Shi taking
charge of me, I accompanied her to the house of Namaki-Shi in Funamachi.
The wedding ceremony of the _sansan-kudo-no-sakazuki_[9] having been
performed without any difficulty, and the time of the _o-hiraki_
["honourable-blossoming"][10] having come more quickly than I had
expected, the guests all returned home.
So we two were left, for the first time, each alone with the
other--sitting face to face: my heart beat wildly;[11] and I felt
abashed in such a way as could not be expressed by means of ink and
paper.
Indeed, what I felt can be imagined only by one who remembers
leaving her parents' home for the first time, to become a bride,--a
daughter-in-law in a strange house.
*
Afterward, at the hour of meals, I felt very much distressed
[_embarrassed_]....
*
Two or three days later, the father of my husband's former wife [_who
was dead_] visited me, and said:--
"Namiki-Shi is really a good man,--a moral, steady man; but as he is
also very particular about small matters and inclined to find fault,
you had better always be careful to try to please him."
Now as I had been carefully watching my husband's ways from the
beginning, I knew that he was really a very strict man, and I resolved
so to conduct myself in all matters as never to cross his will.
*
The fifth day of the tenth month was the day for our _satogaëri_,[12]
and for the first time we went out together, calling at Goto's on the
way. After we left Goto's, the weather suddenly became bad, and it
began to rain. Then we borrowed a paper umbrella, which we used as
an _aigasa_[13]; and though I was very uneasy lest any of my former
neighbours should see us walking thus together, we luckily reached my
parents' house, and made our visit of duty, without any trouble at all.
While we were in the house, the rain fortunately stopped.
*
On the ninth day of the same month I went with him to the theatre for
the first time. We visited the Engiza at Akasaka, and saw a performance
by the Yamaguchi company.
*
On the eighth day of the eleventh month, we made a visit to
Asakusa-temple,[14] and also went to the [Shinto temple of the]
O-Tori-Sama.
--During this last month of the year I made new spring robes for my
husband and myself: then I learned for the first time how pleasant such
work was, and I felt very happy.
*
On the twenty-fifth day we visited the temple of Ten-jin-Sama,[15] and
walked about the grounds there.
*
On the eleventh day of the first month of the twenty-ninth year [1896],
called at Okada's.
*
On the twelfth day we paid a visit to Goto's, and had a pleasant time
there.
On the ninth day of the second month we went to the Mizaki theatre to
see the play _Imosé-Yama_. On our way to the theatre we met Goto-Shi
unexpectedly; and he went with us. But unluckily it began to rain as we
were returning home, and we found the roads very muddy.
On the twenty-second day of the same month [we had our] photograph
taken at Amano's.
*
On the twenty-fifth day of the third month we went to the Haruki
theatre, and saw the play _Uguisuzuka_.--During the month it was
agreed that all of us [_kindred, friends, and parents_] should make up
a party, and enjoy our _hanami_[16] together; but this could not be
managed.
*
On the tenth day of the fourth month, at nine o'clock in the morning,
we two went out for a walk. We first visited the Shōkonsha [_Shintō
shrine_] at Kudan: thence we walked to Uyéno [park]; and from there we
went to Asakusa, and visited the Kwannon temple; and we also prayed at
the Monzéki [_Higashi Hongwanji_]. Thence we had intended to go round
to Asakusa-Okuyama; but we thought that it would be better to have
dinner first--so we went to an eating-house. While we were dining, we
heard such a noise of shouting and screaming that we thought there was
a great quarrel outside. But the trouble was really caused by a fire
in one of the _misémono_ ["shows"]. The fire spread quickly, even while
we were looking at it; and nearly all the show-buildings in that street
were burnt up.... We left the eating-house soon after, and walked about
the Asakusa grounds, looking at things.
[_Here follows, in the original Ms., the text of a little poem,
composed by the writer herself_:--]
Imado no watashi nité,
Aimita koto mo naki hito ni,
Fushigi ni Miméguri-Inari,
Kaku mo fūfu ni naru nomika.
Hajimé no omoi ni hikikaëté,
Itsushika-kokoro mo Sumidagawa.
Tsugai hanarénu miyakodori,
Hito mo urayaméba wagami mo mata,
Sakimidarétaru doté no hana yori mo,
Hana ni mo mashita sono hito to
Shirahigé-Yashiro ni naru madé mo.
Soïtogétashi to inorinenji!
[_Freely translated._][17]
_Having been taken across the Imado-Ferry, I strangely met at [the
temple of] Miméguri-Inari with a person whom I had never seen before.
Because of this meeting our relation is now even more than the relation
of husband and wife. And my first anxious doubt, "For how long--?"
having passed away, my mind has become [clear] as the Sumida River.
Indeed we are now like a pair of Miyako-birds [always together]; and
I even think that I deserve to be envied. [To see the flowers we went
out; but] more than the pleasure of viewing a whole shore in blossom
is the pleasure that I now desire,--always to dwell with this person,
dearer to me than any flower, until we enter the Shirahigé-Yashiro.
That we may so remain together, I supplicate the Gods!_
... Then we crossed the Azuma bridge on our homeward way; and we
went by steamer to the kaichō [festival] of the temple of the
Soga-Kyōdai,[18] and prayed that love and concord should continue
always between ourselves and our brothers and sisters. It was after
seven o'clock that evening when we got home.
--On the twenty-fifth day of the same month we went to the
Rokumono-no-Yosé.[19]
***
On the second day of the fifth month we visited [the gardens at] Ōkubo
to see the azaleas in blossom. On the sixth day of the same month we
went to see a display of fireworks at the Shōkonsha.
--So far we had never had any words between us nor any
disagreement;[20] and I had ceased to feel bashful when we went out
visiting or sight-seeing. Now each of us seemed to think only of how
to please the other; and I felt sure that nothing would ever separate
us.... May our relation always be thus happy!
The eighteenth day of the sixth month, being the festival of the
Suga-jinja,[21] we were invited to my father's house. But as the
hair-dresser did not come to dress my hair at the proper time, I was
much annoyed. However, I went with O-Tori-San [_a younger sister_] to
father's. Presently O-Kō-San [_a married sister_] also came;--and we
had a pleasant time. In the evening Goto-Shi [_husband of O-Kō_] joined
us; and, last of all, came my husband, for whom I had been waiting with
anxious impatience. And there was one thing that made me very glad.
Often when he and I were to go out together, I had proposed that we
should put on the new spring robes which I had made; but he had as
often refused,--preferring to wear his old _kimono_. Now, however, he
wore the new one,--having felt obliged to put it on because of father's
invitation.... All of us being thus happily assembled, the party became
more and more enjoyable; and when we had at last to say good-by, we
only regretted the shortness of the summer night.