Is there no more but parting left, of all
The love we bore each other? Is it easy
So to break trust and faith? Are all the tales
Of constancy, that make the heart beat high,
Mere fables?--Then, indeed, farewell!--'tis time.
ANON.
The next morning Mr. Warde came early to Ashdale, and finding that all
was over, he took Margaret home with him to the Vicarage.
She had sat up all night, and what with fasting and want of sleep, she
was perfectly exhausted.
Mrs. Somerton and Blanche were at the Vicarage, and they were both very
kind to Margaret. Indeed, many women not very deserving of respect in
their general conduct, are ready to show kindness to others under actual
suffering.
Mrs. Somerton insisted on Margaret going to bed at once, and Blanche
brought some tea to her bed-side as soon she was undressed. She kept her
bed for some days. All that she had lately endured, unnerved her
completely; and when, at length, she made the effort to rise, her limbs
trembled so much, that it was with the utmost difficulty that she could
get down stairs; and there seated in an arm-chair, she remained for some
hours every day, unable to undergo the fatigue of speaking, or even of
listening to what was passing.
When Mr. Grey's Will was read, it was found that he bequeathed his
estate to his cousin, Mr. Trevor of the East India Company's service; an
annuity to one or two servants; and a legacy of ten thousand pounds to
his niece Margaret Capel. Margaret was very much affected when Mr. Warde
told her this piece of news; she repeated over and over again how very
kind it was of her uncle to have left her this money; a trait which
pleased Mr. Warde very much, for he was afraid she would have been very
greatly disappointed that her uncle had not left her the bulk of his
property. However, a great many people kindly undertook to be
disappointed for her; and to say that it was a shame in Mr. Grey, after
having her to live with him, to treat her in that manner, and cut her
off with ten thousand pounds; and that old people never knew how to
leave their money so as to give satisfaction to their relations; which
is true enough.
Nobody knew that it was Margaret's own fault; that she was in the
secret, and that a word from her, after her rupture with Mr. Haveloc,
would have caused her uncle to alter his Will, and settle all his
property upon her; but her one aim was to spare him the knowledge of an
event which would give him pain; she never thought about securing his
fortune. Mr. Warde told her that he and Mr. Casement were named as her
guardians until she married or became of age; and that he thought her
best plan would be to reside with some lady who might be able to offer
her a comfortable home, and desirous to profit by the arrangement; that
such a person would be easily found, but that he trusted for the present
she would remain at the Vicarage; so that they might look about at their
leisure, and select the residence that should present the most
advantages. Margaret thanked him very much for his kindness; for the
future she felt a sort of vague indifference. She acceded, at once, to
his plans, and hardly gave another thought to her prospects.
Blanche Somerton who had been excessively kind, even delicate in her
attentions, until after the funeral of Mr. Grey, now began to think that
Margaret's languid sorrow was a little out of place. She was one of the
many who think that all regrets are quite useless and nonsensical as
soon as the dead are buried. Her own emotions were stormy and brief;
and she felt good-naturedly that it was high time to begin to cheer up
Margaret's spirits.
"I declare, I envy you of all things;" said she one morning, "with
twenty thousand pounds you can surely make a very good match. But it all
depends upon where Uncle Warde places you; take my advice and don't go
to a Methodist. I would get some dowager at Bath, or Cheltenham to take
me out, if I were you. You might meet with something very advantageous
at Bath; better I think than in London. There is so much competition;
though you are certainly very pretty--not that I like you in mourning."
Here Margaret who was reclining languidly in an arm-chair, began to cry,
by stealth as it were, wiping her eyes quietly with her handkerchief.
"Oh! my dear, your spirits are wretched," cried Blanche. "You have no
idea how it distresses me to see you. You really ought to go out and
amuse yourself; we have all our troubles, I assure you. I sometimes find
it very difficult to bear up."
"Yes; I should be selfish, indeed, if I thought myself the only person
afflicted," said Margaret. "I am very sorry to hear that you have any
immediate cause of distress."
Here Mr. Warde appeared at the doorway; he made a sign to Blanche, and
after a few whispered words, that young lady nodded, and went up stairs.
Mr. Warde then came up to Margaret, and took a chair by her side.
"My dear," he said, "Mr. Haveloc wishes to see you."
Margaret's heart beat so wildly that she could hardly breathe.
"I thought, as he was an intimate friend of your uncle, I had better
prepare you for his visit," said Mr. Warde. "I feared you would be
agitated if he came in without being announced."
"Must I see him?" asked Margaret, as soon as she could utter a word.
"Certainly not, if you feel the effort would be too great," said Mr.
Warde. "He seemed very anxious to pay his respects to you, before
leaving the place. I understand it is his intention to go abroad for
some years: and I suppose having met you frequently at your uncle's, he
did not wish to quit the country without taking leave of you. But do
not, on any account, exert yourself. I will take him a message, if you
feel in the least degree unequal to seeing him."
Margaret laid her hand on Mr. Warde's arm as if to detain him.
Everything seemed whirling round; she could not hear distinctly his last
words; there was a noise and giddiness in her brain. Going abroad! So
then all was over; he was as determined as herself to cancel their
engagement. She should have liked a little reluctance, a little
hesitation; perhaps a little entreaty. But this was well. She could be
proud now--no weakness.
"Is he here?" she asked Mr. Warde.
"Yes, waiting in my study."
"Then let him come directly," said she, "directly; because I am not in a
mood for tears now; and because I could not answer for myself half an
hour hence."
Mr. Warde pressed her hand, and went out in search of Mr. Haveloc.
Margaret heard his step with a sickening at the heart that she could not
control: he came in--bowed, took a seat at some distance; then started
up, brought his chair closer, and sat down beside her.
They were both silent, Margaret struggling with her tears. Mr. Haveloc
looking on the ground, perfectly uncertain how to begin.
But after a short pause, during which she clasped more tightly the arm
of her chair, Margaret forced back her tears, and said in a low
tone: "We have both lost so much, and so lately, Mr. Haveloc, that we do
not find it easy to allude to it."
She had never seen him look so pale, or so wretched, and she felt that
she forgave him everything, though she struggled very hard against the
feeling. Unconsciously her voice took a softer tone, and her countenance
depicted the compassion she felt. But her companion, quite as much
offended as grieved, by her rejection, had not the skill to read these
signs of a softened resolution.
"I did not intrude upon you with that intention," he said. "I had
something to explain to you which is a source of great distress to me,
but for which I can find no remedy."
Margaret bent forward with much anxiety, Mr. Haveloc proceeded with
increased coldness.
"When I had reason to suppose that you intended to honour me with your
hand, I requested Mr. Grey to settle his estate upon his next heir, as I
imagined I had more than enough for all our wishes; and I confess, that
it pleased my pride to fancy that through my means, alone, the woman
whom I loved, should be surrounded by all the luxuries and refinements
of life."
"I know," said Margaret. "He told me what had been done. I was glad of
it. I cannot think why that should annoy you."
"It pains me to consider myself as the means of having deprived you of a
noble fortune," said Mr. Haveloc, "a fortune which I once vainly thought
I should have been able to compensate to you. But I was not aware that
you knew this, and I feared you should think your uncle fickle or
unkind, instead of ascribing the act to my ill-judged reliance--upon the
future."
"You acted quite rightly, Mr. Haveloc," said Margaret. "I wished it
then, and I am not more disposed to reject it now. Mr. Trevor is a
worthy man, with a young family. He will value his inheritance; and I
trust only that he will cherish my uncle's memory as warmly as I ever
shall." She found it difficult to keep her voice quite steady, just at
the close; but she made a little pause and succeeded.
"As you have not deigned to give me any explanation of your change of
purpose," said Mr. Haveloc. "I am at a loss to defend myself; or to
plead for what, in truth, is very near my heart. There is, indeed, one
passage in my life to which it is possible your motives may refer; in
that case, I should, I avow it, be left defenceless. I cannot undo the
past!"
"I know it," said Margaret hurriedly; "I should be sorry if--I mean that
I wish to forget entirely--all that--I mean, that we were ever on other
terms than--"
"I have no doubt that you will succeed perfectly," said Mr. Haveloc,
rising from his chair as he spoke.
There was a touch of irony in the remark which stung her to the quick.
When all she had undergone, and had yet to endure, was before her, to be
told that she would find it easy to forget the past, was unbearable.
Her heart swelled, but there is a great deal of endurance in a woman; as
many people know, for they put it to a pretty good trial.
All the pride in her nature was aroused.
"You have nothing more to say, I believe," said she, drawing herself up.
"I could say a thousand things," he exclaimed, with a passionate change
of manner; "if I thought you had the patience to hear me. But you care
nothing for my thoughts; and, perhaps, I merit but little consideration.
Still from you--but these storms always come from the quarter on which
we are least prepared. You scarcely know what you do in casting me off.
But I hope I am not so much the slave of circumstances as to be made
reckless by misfortune. And you, Margaret, is it--in all the chances of
the future--is it likely that any man will love you as I have done?"
"Mr. Haveloc!" said Margaret, still more offended.
"And that unhappy Will!" he continued, "I suffer more from that subject
than you would be willing to believe if I were to describe it: one day
you will lay that to my other offences--if, indeed, you then can recall
my name."
"You do me great injustice in thought," said Margaret. "If it will be
any relief to you, let me assure you again that there is nothing in the
whole chapter of accidents which could give me so little concern. I am
not called upon to bear poverty, recollect."
"Then," said Mr. Haveloc, "we have but to part. How difficult it is to
me, no words could speak--but those things which are inevitable, had
best be quickly done. So--farewell."
Without another word, or look, or gesture, he rushed out of the room and
from the house.
Margaret sat for some time trying to recollect every thing he had said.
He had not asked her to forgive him--had simply said he could not undo
the past; he had not begged, as he might have done, that she would give
him time and opportunity to retrieve it. It had seemed that he was
willing--even anxious, to be set free--he had made arrangements before
seeing her, that proved he had decided this to be their last meeting.
She was dead--and therefore he might have endeavoured to return to
Margaret, if he had desired a reconciliation. But no--she had offended
him, and he was too proud to wish it. Margaret tried to think it was
best for both; but a sense of agony, amounting almost to suffocation,
would not let it be. If she could have wept--but no tears came--so she
lay helplessly in her chair, watching the ebony cabinet that stood
opposite first receding farther and farther, then seemed to float before
her eyes, until sense and memory went out together, and she fell into a
deep swoon.
It was some time before Blanche, who came down as soon as Mr. Haveloc
left the house, could restore Margaret to consciousness. When she
succeeded, she was full of condolence.
"What a bore it was, my dear creature," said she, "that you should have
had to receive that horrid man. Had it been any one else, it might have
done you all the good in the world; for you might have had a nice little
flirtation to raise your spirits. But as for him--I hate him; his
manners are so abrupt. Of course he began talking of poor dear Mr. Grey.
So mal-à-propos."
"He did speak of my uncle," said Margaret.
"I knew it!" exclaimed Blanche. "That was it. I wish there was a nice
little dance you could go to; or a concert--but this place is a perfect
hermitage; and your mourning too would be a drawback. How beautifully
you were dressed at Bessy Gage's wedding. You had a cluster of pink
daisies at the side of your bonnet. That was an excellent match! I
would have almost married old Sir Philip, myself, for the sake of
Sherleigh. I say, did Hubert Gage ever make you an offer?"
Margaret blushed, but astonishment kept her silent.
"Every body says he did," continued Blanche, "and I do not wonder that
you refused him. I hate younger sons. Mamma wished me to marry him at
one time, but I declined. I almost wish now that I had kept him on, just
to pique somebody else. Do you like military men?"
"No," said Margaret.
"Well, I wonder at that," said Blanche. "I think I could make you change
your mind. Did you happen to notice me walking with a young man, in the
garden, yesterday before dinner?"
"No, I was up stairs," said Margaret, faintly.
"Well--if you can manage to walk out to-morrow--do you think you
could?"
"No, I am sure I could not."
"That is a pity, because I often meet him on the S---- road. You would
be so much amused with him. He has such spirits, and I should not be
jealous, no--Watkins is all my own."
At another time Margaret would have laughed at this declaration; now,
she sighed heavily and sank back in her chair.
"You are quite fatigued with that wretch Mr. Haveloc; it was just like
my uncle to admit him. However, thank goodness he is going to Russia
directly, and will not bore you again. But here comes my uncle; not a
word about Watkins, I entreat. We keep it a secret from him, but I will
take care that you are in the way the next time he comes to the house."
"I will go up stairs and lie down, if you please," said Margaret, trying
to rise. "I am not very well."
Blanche helped Margaret up stairs, and she had another attack of
illness, which again confined her to her bed for some days.