_Ansel._ His food--sharp sorrow, ever galling doubt,
Fear, that aye nettles near the core of love--
And long suspense that maketh faint the heart;
Patience it may be, and much jealousy,
And all that fretteth youth to timeless age.
_Isa._ And what the recompence?
_Ansel._ To sleep awhile;
Dreaming of fairy worlds bestrewn with flowers.
And close companionship of equal hearts;
Warm, faultless, kind, unspotted, human hearts!
Of hope so bright, as never felt a care,
And love, that if care was, would smile it down.
Then wake--like Ariadne on the shore,
To battle with the tempest--but alone!
ANON.
Aveline was up the next morning as early as she had threatened; and with
the restlessness peculiar to her complaint, she was not content with a
walk to the fisherman's cottage to buy prawns, but when she returned,
finding that it still wanted some minutes to breakfast time, she
wandered out into the garden, and began working at the flower-beds.
Mrs. Fitzpatrick was perfectly astonished when she came down to find her
daughter weeding and hoeing, in her straw bonnet and garden gloves.
"I really cannot help it, mamma," was Aveline's reply to Mrs.
Fitzpatrick's remonstrances; "it is so pleasant to feel better, that I
could not resist a little independence of action. I have made your
petunias look quite another thing."
"Here are some beautiful strawberries, Aveline," said her mother, "if
you go out rambling to-day you must fortify yourself with a good
breakfast."
"Yes! not strawberries, mamma. I will try some prawns. Jane's brother
caught these. Tom. I don't know if you have ever seen him. There are two
Toms. The other one is a cousin, and not nearly so good as the real
Tom, Brand's eldest boy. I am afraid the other Tom is rather suspected
of smuggling; but then what a temptation. This is just the coast for
adventure."
"But all this time, Aveline, you are eating nothing," said her mother,
looking anxiously at the trembling hands with which she held her
tea-cup.
"Presently, mamma. I always need a little self-encouragement before I
begin anything so important as breakfast. No, I think I will not venture
on the prawns. I will take some strawberries; they are too fine to be
wasted. I am going to have some cream with them--to make quite a feast,
as the little children call it. And now, mamma, you must have one half,
and I will take the other."
Aveline having divided the strawberries, tasted them, and they shared
the same fate with the prawns; then she broke a delicate crust off the
little loaf, and having tasted that, declared that she had finished her
breakfast, and that as soon as Mark could clear away, she meant to sit
down to her drawing for a little while.
"You must not undertake too much, Aveline," said her mother. "Remember
that you can only expect to get well by degrees."
Aveline laughed and brought forward her portfolio to select a sketch.
"This is the one I wished to finish, mamma," she said. "Brand's cottage,
with all those good masses of rock behind it, and the nets and children
at the door. I sketched it before I went abroad."
"Let me rub your colours for you," said Mrs. Fitzpatrick, taking a cake
from her daughter's unsteady hand.
"Thank you, mamma. I am really very idle to let you do it for me," said
Aveline, setting to work hurriedly. "I feel at home with my pencil. I
wish I could model a little better. There is something so incomplete in
all my busts; but that must be a consideration for the future. When I
get strong, I shall delight in improving myself in sculpture."
"My love, that is the last thing I am anxious about," said Mrs.
Fitzpatrick. "You do already much more than most girls, and most grown
women. Whatever study you have pursued, you know thoroughly."
"Yes, to a certain point; but how much I have before me. There is such a
pleasure in acquiring knowledge."
Mrs. Fitzpatrick was turning over her daughter's portfolio.
"Where is that beautiful drawing, Aveline, which I used to think your
best? That part of the coast, near Sorrento, at low water."
"I have not kept it, mamma."
"Did you give it away, my dear?" asked Mrs. Fitzpatrick with a smile.
For it was at Sorrento that Mr. Haveloc had been very much with them;
and, during the progress of the drawing, as he was very fond of the art,
and a pretty good draughts-man himself, he had often interfered,
greatly to the benefit of the picture, as Aveline then declared.
"No, mamma," said Aveline, after a pause.
"Have you lost it then?" asked Mrs. Fitzpatrick, thinking it not
unlikely that Mr. Haveloc might have stolen it as a remembrance of the
hours they had passed together.
"No, mamma," said Aveline speaking very distinctly, but with much
effort. "I destroyed it."
"And why, dearest?"
"I thought it wisest, mamma," said Aveline, going rapidly on with her
drawing.
"Dear Aveline," said her mother, taking her in her arms. "Now that we
are at home, and at rest--are you unhappy?"
"No, no, indeed, mamma!" said Aveline, hiding her face upon her mother's
shoulder. "Not unhappy! Nobody can tell but myself how deeply I have
longed for home and rest; often, when I have thought I should never
rest again."
"But how was that, my Aveline?"
"It was not that I did not despise myself every day and every hour for
my folly," said Aveline, plunging at once into the confession that she
had often longed to make. "It was no cherished weakness, you will
believe that, mamma."
"I do, my dear."
"And it was not because he defended us from the brigands. I know it is
common enough for men to be brave. But then he thought so little of
it--he always made so light of it; and we should have never known he had
been wounded, if his man had not told our courier, when we met at
Sorrento."
Mrs. Fitzpatrick pressed her daughter's hand.
"And then seeing him day by day at Sorrento; although he never said any
thing that might lead me to think he noticed me more than a sick child.
Always so kind--more than attentive; so vigilant that I should not be
fatigued. So active in choosing resting places for us on the shore, and
finding views for sketching; and I watching every time he spoke for some
word that might show I was as much treasured in his secret heart, as he
was in mine;--it was almost too hard. Oh! how glad I was when he left
Sorrento. And yet it seemed so dreary that I was glad to go too. Then, I
had nothing to do but to forget all that was past; and that was hard.
There was that drawing--he had helped me with the sky, and most of the
distance. I destroyed that, when I found myself always looking at it;
and the cornelian amulet, that he used to laugh at me for wearing. I
gave it to Mrs. Maxwell Dorset, you remember."
"Mrs. Maxwell Dorset said that he had made her acquaintance at Florence,
did she not?" said Mrs. Fitzpatrick, anxious to lead her daughter to
talk of this, as of an indifferent subject.
"Yes," she said, "he was a great pet of hers. He gave her that bracelet
of purple enamel with the diamond head. I should be very sorry to be
ungrateful mamma, but I thought--"
"What, my dearest?"
"I thought a woman should be very old, to talk as she used to do about
Mr. Haveloc and Mr. Leslie. I saw a great deal of her you know, when you
were out arranging our journey home with Johannot."
"I should be sorry to see you imitate that, or any other freedom of
manner," said Mrs. Fitzpatrick, "because I consider it very ungraceful;
but I am persuaded that with Mrs. Maxwell Dorset, it was only manner.
Mr. Leslie you know was a clergyman, and Mrs. Maxwell says she never
likes to be without the intimate acquaintance of a clergyman. She
considers it so advantageous both for herself; and for her children. Mr.
Leslie came twice a week to explain the bible to her girls."
This was true enough; but Aveline remembered that Mrs. Maxwell Dorset's
remarks about Mr. Leslie, who was really a most excellent and earnest
young man in the discharge of his duty, had been confined to repeated
eulogiums upon his teeth, and his hands, and had never touched upon the
doctrines which he wished to inculcate.
She said, however, that Mrs. Maxwell Dorset had been most kind to them
when they most needed it; and that she should be very sorry to form a
harsh judgment of her foibles. And then having talked too long upon
subjects of an exciting nature, she brought on a severe fit of coughing,
which Mrs. Fitzpatrick attributed to her having bent so much over her
drawing.
"It is very odd we cannot get rid of that cough of yours, Aveline," she
said. "Here comes Mr. Lindsay, we must consult with him about it."
Aveline was flushed with coughing, and her eyes sparkled with pleasure
at the sight of her great favourite, Mr. Lindsay; so that when he
dismounted, and came in at the open window, he could hardly be expected
to detect through the eagerness of her warm welcome, any strong trace of
indisposition.
"Nothing the matter with you, I see!" were his first words to her.
"Indeed, there is, Mr. Lindsay," said Mrs. Fitzpatrick. "There is still
something left for you to do with her. She cannot be quite right with
that troublesome cough." And Mrs. Fitzpatrick fixed her black eyes upon
Mr. Lindsay's immoveable countenance, with a scrutiny that it was not
easy to avoid.
"I wish you would not feel my pulse, doctor," said Aveline, using a term
she often playfully applied to Mr. Lindsay. "It always makes me faint."
"There then," said he removing his fingers, "you have not left any of
your fancies behind you. I wish you had, or your cough!"
"You despise foreigners almost as much as Mrs. Grant," said Aveline
laughing; "but you cannot deny that I have gained a great deal by my
absence."
"Gained. Yes; an inch or more. Were you not tall enough before you
went?" said Mr. Lindsay, surveying her from head to foot.
"You are as tiresome as ever," said Aveline. "I have gained strength,
spirits, and appetite!"
"What did you eat for breakfast?" asked Mr. Lindsay suddenly.
"Oh! breakfast. That is never a good meal with me. I could eat half a
chicken for dinner," said Aveline, still laughing.
"Well, I suppose you want me to send you some medicine," said Mr.
Lindsay, taking up his hat; "people are never contented without it,
whether they need it or not."
"But do I not need it?" asked Aveline.
"No."
"What shall I take for my cough then?"
"Cherries, shrimps, tamarinds, whatever you like."
"And why are you running away?"
"Because I am going to see a woman who really wants me and my physic."
"Anybody I know?"
"A Mrs. Brand. I cannot tell how far your circle of acquaintance may
extend."
"To be sure I know her. Brand's wife mamma! She is always sickly. Do you
think her worse?"
"Why, yes--rather."
"And will she get well?"
"Perhaps. I am doubtful about it."
"Oh, dear! with all those poor little children."
"She would be much more likely to get well without the poor little
children."
"And what could we send her that would be of use?"
"Chicken broth, port wine, brandy, if she could keep it from her
husband."
"Oh, yes! he is a very good man. He never drinks."
"Excellent. Good bye to you," and the doctor stepped out upon the
terrace. Mrs. Fitzpatrick followed him.
"What do you think of her, Mr. Lindsay?" she asked.
"I hardly know yet. I am not quite satisfied with her pulse; but I must
see her when she has recovered the fatigue of her journey."
"And have you no advice to give me in the meantime?"
"Care--care--care. You know my axiom," said the doctor as he mounted his
horse. "A better one I warrant, than that of Demosthenes."
"But you are really oracular this morning."
"Keep her mind quiet," said Mr. Lindsay gathering up the bridle, "and if
she cries for the moon, let her have it."
And having given utterance to this easy and infallible receipt, galloped
off. Yes, it was very pleasant to be told that she must keep her
daughter's mind quiet, when she had just learned that Aveline was
engaged in one long hopeless struggle against an attachment that had
never been declared, or sought, or requited.
It had often crossed her mind at Sorrento, that Mr. Haveloc must admire
her daughter; but she had never alluded to the subject, even in jest;
because hers was a mind to treat all grave matters gravely; and because
she did not think it very conducive to the delicacy of a young girl to
jest with her upon the impression she might have made upon a man,
particularly while the fact was yet uncertain. And she believed that
Aveline never gave him a thought; nor did she herself, farther than she
need, take any trouble to keep them out of each other's way, because
there would be no reason to object to it, if they should take a fancy to
each other.
How deeply she repented of her blindness; how bitterly she recalled the
frequent morning walks, the sketching, the sailing parties; from which,
indeed, she could hardly have excluded Mr. Haveloc, all things
considered; but from which she might have contrived to omit Aveline. She
gazed down the rough pathway from which Mr. Lindsay had long vanished,
and again repeated to herself, "Keep her mind quiet!"