THE BATTLE OF TWO WILLS
There were many changes to be made in the Hill household before it could be
running smoothly. The children’s wardrobe was low, their father being a
careless buyer and the girls being inexperienced in making and mending
garments. Austin had anticipated this state of affairs when he had so
carefully saved his own wages till he should come home. It was not long
till his little hoard was gone. He had also had to buy a number of things
for the house to make it comfortable and at all homelike.
Henry Hill had a most comfortable feeling to know that there was some one
at home who was responsible for the children, so he took many opportunities
to be away. In fact he felt better away with some of his friends than when
at home with Austin. It is not a pleasant thing for any father to feel that
the serious eyes of his own son rest upon him in disapproval and reproof.
Every sight of the boy made him feel uncomfortable and as if he did not
come up to what was expected of him. Austin was not a fellow to speak out
his reproofs, but he thought them and his eyes told what his heart was
saying. Every week found him and his parent farther and farther apart--if
possible.
Austin expected no sympathy and asked for none from either his brother or
father in the way he was taking. He perhaps went to the opposite extreme
and was so indifferent to what they thought that it had the effect of
antagonizing them. It is at least a fact that there was no feeling of
sympathy nor cooperation between them, and that antagonism grew until it
was almost open warfare between him and his father. He felt such a
repugnance toward his father and a hatred of the way he was taking that it
continually showed out in his attitude toward him. In later years Austin
could understand, but now he was doing only what he believed necessary to
protect his own soul from the discouraging influence.
Partly because he always liked to shirk responsibility, and partly because
he and Austin had so few thoughts and feelings in common, the father stayed
away from home more all the time. To this Austin was not averse, for it
gave him more time with the children.
While Austin had been gone so long, his father had been in the habit of
inviting in men like himself, and they had often played cards and drank
till far into the night. Frequently the wee small hours of morning had
found them still busy with their cards and bottles. When Austin came home,
he could hardly endure to have a thing like this happen with the little
children in the house. He had no right to forbid his father, but he did let
him know how he felt about it. The result had been that the father felt
most uncomfortable to have his associates gather at his home any longer.
Austin usually retired early with the children, and his father became aware
of this. He had missed his social evenings with his friends, and wished to
have them again, so he had invited three of the “boys” to come rather late,
after all the children were in bed, and spend an evening together. It
happened that Austin had gone out that evening and did not get back till
late. When he came in, he was much surprized to find the four men occupying
the kitchen-table with their cards. They had also in some way obtained
drink.
With a quick searching glance at the table to see if there were signs of
gambling, Austin went upstairs without a word. But so strong was his
influence and disapproval that it killed all the interest, and the men all
left.
Mr. Hill sat alone, after they had gone, with the same feeling he used to
have when his father had caught him doing something mean. He rankled at the
thought of this boy setting himself up as judge. He thought he ought to be
the master of his own house. He did not reason that Austin had said
nothing, that he was only battling with the boy’s thoughts. That night he
determined that Austin should learn to keep his place. It was preposterous,
he thought, that he could not entertain his friends as he pleased.
Austin’s feelings after he had reached his room were as serious and
positive as his father’s, but he took an entirely different view of the
whole matter. The question with him was how he should put a stop to such
carousing in the house. He wanted to bring up the children in right paths,
and how could that be done if they had to be thrown into such influence? It
would be a matter of only a short while till Harry would be old enough to
begin enjoying these evil associates. So while his father was contemplating
how he should show Austin his place, Austin was wondering how he should be
able to get to his father’s deceived heart something of what his duty was.
“You thought yourself pretty smart last night,” he said to Austin the next
morning in his surliest voice.
“I was not spying, but was only out to prayer-meeting and came in a little
late,” answered the boy.
“Looks like a man ought to have a right to entertain his friends in his own
house without being ordered about by a boy,” continued the man in a
growling manner.
“Nobody was ordering you about, so far as I know. I am sure I said
nothing,” Austin replied.
Now was his time, Austin thought, to explain himself. “I do think it is no
example for you to set before the children to have such a crowd in,” he
said.
Here the conversation stopped for the time, but the feeling of antagonism
only grew by the encounter.
Mr. Hill had promised to support the family; but Austin, when he had gotten
everything to going smoothly, saw no reason why he should not work also,
rather than stay at home all the time. With his help morning and evening it
was not difficult for the girls, now fourteen and twelve years old, to do
the work nicely.
This was a welcome decision to his father, and soon it was the old story,
Austin working and giving all his wages to the support of the family, and
his father helping only as was positively necessary.
It was not many weeks after Austin’s return home (for changes came rapidly
in this household) that the father had forsaken his job and was again
wandering about, leaving the family on Austin. It was a serious outlook for
the boy. No longer did he entertain the optimistic view of life that he had
held in the beginning of his experiences. When he was fourteen, he felt as
if he should be able to support the family like a man, now at sixteen he
knew that he could never do that and keep them together in the home
besides. It took too much of his time and ambition trying to train the
children and direct their minds in the right channels. His father was
drinking all he could obtain and that was liquor of a very bad kind. In
all, the outlook was serious as the summer drew to a close. Just what the
winter would bring for him and his charges he hardly knew.
He had followed the advice of Pastor Bennet and had sought out a
congregation with whom he met in worship. He had passed by the richer,
finer church, and sought to find among the more humble congregations one
that would be spiritual. Also he wanted to go where he could hope to take
the children and have them look presentable. He hardly hoped to be able to
dress them for a wealthy place. Every week showed Austin more clearly the
battle that must be waged, not of fists or of tongues, but of wills, in the
home. The children were growing older, and they, too, had lost for the
father that feeling of reverence and respect which is right. They had been
more than a year away from Austin’s influence and restraint, and while they
out of sheer thankfulness yielded themselves to him when he returned, yet
as the weeks went by Austin saw that he should have a very big undertaking
on his hands just to hold them in control. Besides this was his father’s
antagonism. The men did not quarrel, but cutting and sneering remarks,
indifference to his wishes, and a general atmosphere of hostility prevailed
in his father’s presence, while Austin stood against all this determined to
hold his points and if possible keep the home clean. Gradually Austin’s
influence in the home prevailed, and because of this, no doubt, his father
was found more often away.