several minutes to devise some way of getting rid of him, suddenly
exclaimed:
"Did you hear that pink domino who just passed us?"
"No; what did she say?"
"She said to the shepherdess on her arm: 'That Spaniard yonder has
turned my head. I tell you, my dear, I'd like to catch him!'"
"Really! you heard that?"
"And the shepherdess replied: 'Very well! speak to him, puzzle him.'
"'Oh! I don't dare, my dear.'"
"She said she didn't dare, eh? Well, I will dare. Where is this pink
domino?"
"Look--over yonder, near the Polichinelle. Go quickly, or you'll lose
her."
Chamoureau voluntarily dropped Edmond's arm, to run after the person in
a pink domino whom he had pointed out.
Having thus rid himself of the widower, young Edmond thought of nothing
but finding his last mistress, with whom he was still in love, probably
because she had ceased to run after him. Only that morning he had seen
Amélia, and they had been on the best possible terms; so that if she
avoided him now, it could only be because Freluchon had refused her
friend Henriette the money she asked him to lend her.
Why should she espouse Henriette's quarrel? Still, as she lived with her
friend, when the latter was obliged to quit her domicile, Mademoiselle
Amélia also was turned into the street.
Edmond said all this to himself as he glided through the crowd, running
after every woman he saw in a _débardeur's_ costume. He caught one by
the arm, but saw that she was not the person he sought, just as she said
to him:
"If you'll treat me to supper, I'll stay with you--if not--no, thanks!"
"I would gladly invite you to supper, if I were not looking for someone,
whom I took you for at first; but as I hope to find her, I shall sup
with her."
"Bah! let her go! She'll sup with three other men perhaps; don't run
after her. You're good-looking, I like you; come, dance with me."
"I am sorry to refuse you, but I don't want to dance now; later, I don't
say that----"
"Oh, yes! with the other; good-night, little donkey!"
The little _débardeur_ ran away from Edmond, to join the dance; and
almost at the same moment the young man's arm was taken by a little blue
domino, who said to him:
"She's not the one you are looking for; whom are you looking for, Edmond
Didier?"
"Ah! you know me, do you?"
"Yes, I know you very well; also your friend Freluchon with whom you
came to the ball. But I don't know the tall greenhorn disguised as a
Spaniard, who came with you two, and who was on your arm just now. Mon
Dieu! what a stupid-looking creature! and how wretchedly he carries his
costume! Such a figure too! Who on earth is that scarecrow?"
"Do you know that you are very inquisitive? you ask such a lot of
questions one on top of another!"
"It's because I like to know about things. Won't you answer me?"
"Oh, yes: the Spaniard is a friend of Freluchon, very well-to-do, a
business agent, who has just lost his wife and is now trying to find a
place for his heart."
"For life?"
"Oh, no! just for a term of years. If you desire to form an agreeable
connection, I commend him to you."
"Thanks; he's too clumsy; he does nothing but pull up his boot-flaps,
and I am tempted to offer him a pair of garters to keep them in place."
"You would do him a great service."
"Is he better looking without his nose?"
"He's not at all bad-looking."
"What is the idiot's name?"
"It is perfectly evident that you aspire to make a victim of him."
"Oh, no! you are mistaken; but perhaps I might like to have a little fun
with him. What's his name?"
"What I am going to do is rather indiscreet perhaps, but as he will be
delighted to be mystified, I will tell you his name: Chamoureau."
"Cha----"
"Moureau."
"Oh! how well the name suits the man! Chalumeau would be even better,
for he looks like a stick; but never mind, Chamoureau is not bad. Ha!
ha!"
"And now tell me how you happen to know me?"
"Well; try to guess."
"Faith! I confess that I haven't the faintest idea."
"You have answered only one of my questions. Won't you tell me now what
woman you are looking for?"
"Oh, no; such things aren't to be mentioned! As to the Spaniard's name,
that's all right! but I won't tell you the name of the person I would
like to meet; guess it, if you can."
"It should be the fair Thélénie--Madame de Sainte-Suzanne, if you
prefer."
"Ah! you also know----"
"That you have been her lover. Who doesn't know that? But are you so no
longer? have you ceased to love her?"
"You are becoming too inquisitive again; I shall not answer that."
"You are unfaithful to her, I see; who in the world has succeeded in
captivating you? Come, my little Edmond, take me for your confidante;
that's a very modest rôle for me to assume."
At that moment Freluchon rushed up to them, seized Edmond's arm and led
him away, saying:
"They're right over there, both of them--dancing. I recognized their
Andalusian steps. Henriette is dressed as a Folly; come at once; they
don't propose to be recognized, but we'll bring them to it."
Edmond instantly threw off the little blue domino's arm and hurried away
with Freluchon.
Two women, each wearing a small mask of velvet, without a barb, and
dressed, one as a sort of _débardeur_, that is to say, in a high shirt,
velvet trousers with broad satin bands, a fringed sash and a round hat
covered with flowers; the other as Folly, with a fool's bauble in her
hand, bells on her arm and legs and cap, around her waist, everywhere,
in short,--were dancing with two men whose costumes were eccentric to
the last degree.
One, in a Greek tunic, with deerskin breeches and riding-boots, wore a
Roman helmet. The other, dressed as a Cupid, with quiver and arrows, had
on his head the sort of head-covering usually assigned to Don Quixote,
that is to say, a dish turned upside down.
The dancing of these gentlemen was in keeping with their costumes; it
was very daring. The man in the helmet whirled his arms about like the
wings of a windmill, with terrifying rapidity. The Cupid kicked up his
heels almost in the face of his vis-à-vis, and from time to time, when
he was doing the _cavalier seul_, threw himself flat on his stomach and
executed the evolution known as the _spider_. As yet, the two little
women had ventured upon nothing more than permissible cancan steps.
"The devil!" said Freluchon, planting himself behind the Folly; "those
bucks have a style of dancing that's rather risky for their partners.
Look out, Henriette; that Cupid will land his foot in your eye, and
that's more dangerous, I assure you, than a kick somewhere else!"
The Folly pretended not to hear and went on dancing.
Edmond meanwhile, standing behind the little _débardeur_, said to her:
"My dear Amélia, I am very much afraid that your Roman will carry away
your nose while he imitates a windmill with his arms; that would be a
pity!"
The _débardeur_, like the Folly, made no reply; but a slight movement of
the shoulders betrayed her, and seemed to say:
"Oh! let me alone; you bore me!"
A moment later Freluchon called loudly to his friend:
"I say, Edmond, they turned me out of my lodgings this morning, because
I hadn't paid my rent or for my furniture! Did you ever hear such
nonsense? Just imagine that my furniture, which I thought was paid for,
wasn't!--Well! it didn't take away my spirits; on the contrary, it put
me just in the mood to dance and enjoy myself!"
"But I, who lived with you--where am I to sleep?" rejoined Edmond with a
laugh; "here am I too without a home!"
"Never fear! we'll find some Roman or some Cupid to give us
shelter!--And to think that for lack of four hundred francs I missed the
finest match!"
"Nonsense! really?"
"Yes, my dear fellow, a superb match! a flower-maker, thoroughbred, who
would have brought me as her dowry, in addition to her virtue, of which
I will say nothing, the most agreeable disposition to have me shut up at
Clichy,--with or without an eye-glass--in a very short time."
The little woman disguised as a Folly suddenly walked up to Freluchon
and said to him under her breath, but in a voice that trembled with
anger:
"Monsieur Freluchon, if you don't stop your spiteful remarks, I'll see
that you're punished by my partner."
"Ha! ha! ha! so you recognize me now, O fickle Henriette!"
"Yes, I recognize you, but I no longer know you; when a man treats a
woman as you treated me this morning, and leaves her in a horrible
plight without coming to her assistance, he's a rat! yes, he's worse
than a _rat_, he's a _toad_![E] and I don't have anything to do with
toads!"
"Ha! ha! very pretty! that word, in your mouth, has a wide
meaning--inasmuch as your mouth is not small. Is it because you are
covered with bells that you put on so many airs to-night? Bless my soul!
if you had asked me for nothing more than bells, I'd have given them to
you. I didn't know that you were so fond of them as all this! But
really, seeing how enthusiastically you dance, and especially these
innumerable bells with which you are loaded down, I confess that I can
hardly mourn over your terrible plight of this morning.--Come, leave
your Don Quixote, who looks to me amazingly like a vender of theatre
tickets, and come to supper with us. I'll give you as many kisses as you
have bells; isn't that a seductive prospect?"
Meanwhile Edmond was saying to the _débardeur_:
"Look you, my dear Amélia, after the quadrille, leave your Roman, who
looks to me too much like a _claquer_, and take my arm. We were not at
odds this morning, why should we be now? You are wrong to espouse your
friend's quarrel. Henriette will make you do all sorts of foolish
things; you are too nice a girl to dance with such fellows!"
The young grisette seemed to hesitate; but every time that her friend
passed her, she said earnestly:
"Don't speak to these fellows! You know what I told you; it's all over
between us if you go back to Edmond. My dear girl, women must stand by
each other, or else these men will make fools of us."
"Ah! the pretty bells! Mon Dieu! what a lot of bells!" cried Freluchon,
still laughing as he watched Mademoiselle Henriette. "I have seen many
Follies, but none that approached this one in the matter of bells! I
say, Edmond, if a poodle wore as many bells as this, he'd be mistaken
for a mule. Oh! how tickled I should be to have bells on all my clothes
instead of buttons!"
The Folly was beside herself with rage; she whispered in her Cupid's
ear. The Cupid--Don Quixote was a tall, solidly-built fellow, who had
every appearance of being a formidable athlete. He walked up to
Freluchon, planted himself directly in front of him, and said in a voice
that seemed to issue from a cavern:
"I say, counter-jumper, ain't you about through bothering my partner?
Understand that if you don't leave her in peace, her and her bells, I'll
knock off your hat with the top of my boot and send it up to the
gallery."
"Oho! my handsome Cupid, that's a trick I should be delighted to see,"
retorted Freluchon in a mocking tone. "Really, it would please me
immensely if you should succeed."
"Ah! you want to see it, do you? well, look!"
As he spoke, the Cupid suddenly threw up his leg, expecting to kick
Freluchon in the face. But he, by a gesture as quick as thought, seized
the leg in its passage, and grasping the ankle in his right hand,
squeezed it so hard that the Cupid made a horrible grimace and cried:
"Ten thousand million milliards! Let me go, you hurt me, you squeeze too
hard! Let me go, I say!"
"If you had struck my face with your foot, wouldn't you have hurt me,
you second-hand Cupid?"
"Look here! just let him go this minute, will you!" observed the
gentleman dressed as a Roman, approaching Freluchon with uplifted arm,
while the latter still held the Cupid by the leg.
But the little fellow, with his left hand, struck his new adversary a
blow that sent him reeling backward; there the Roman fell in with
Edmond, who gave him an additional push, while Freluchon suddenly
released the Cupid's leg with a violent jerk, so that he fell on his
back among the dancers.
Thereupon there was a great outcry on all sides, and, as usually
happens, the police appeared on the scene and ordered the combatants to
leave the ball-room with them, to explain their conduct elsewhere.
Mesdemoiselles Henriette and Amélia took advantage of the moment when
the young men were surrounded to glide among the dancers and disappear.
This scene had taken place almost in front of the box in which the
pearl-gray domino and her friend Mademoiselle Héloïse were seated.
A few moments earlier, a little blue domino, the same who had questioned
and mystified Edmond, had come to report to the fair Thélénie the result
of her conversation with the young man. But when she saw the man she was
looking for talking with the little _débardeur_, and observed the
quarrel that followed their conversation, Thélénie at once divined that
the woman disguised as a _débardeur_ was the woman for whose sake the
man she loved had come to the ball.
Having watched with some anxiety the brief scrimmage which took place
during the quadrille, she rose hurriedly and left the box, muttering:
"I will find that woman, and I will see to whom he sacrifices me!"
A few moments later, Edmond and Freluchon returned in triumph to the
ball-room. Their adversaries, whose too delirious style of dancing had
already been remarked, had been turned out, and when Freluchon offered
them his card, they had declined it, saying:
"Thanks! it isn't worth while; we've had enough."
"And now," said Edmond to his friend, as they returned to the ball-room,
"let us try to find those girls again."
"Thanks," said Freluchon; "you can look for your Amélia, if it amuses
you, but from this moment I no longer know Henriette! I can forgive a
woman her infidelities, her lies, her tricks, her humbug! But when a
woman tries to make two men fight, I see nothing more in her than an
evil-minded wretch whom I despise, and I never speak to her again."
V
CHAMOUREAU'S STICKS OF CANDY
Chamoureau had hastily left Edmond, to run after a pink domino whom
Edmond had pointed out to him as having expressed a desire, as she
passed them, to make a conquest of the Spaniard.
Our widower pushed and elbowed his way through the crowd, jostled by
this one and tossed aside by that one; but at last he succeeded in
overtaking the domino who had been pointed out to him, and who had on
her arm a poorly dressed shepherdess, without a mask, whose common face
suggested a fruit woman enjoying the Carnival.
Chamoureau took his stand in front of the domino and gazed amorously at
her. She seemed to pay no heed to him, but pushed him aside so that she
could pass. The two women left the dancing enclosure and walked toward
the foyer.
But our Spaniard followed them, and they were no sooner in the foyer
than he once more placed himself in front of them.
"Well, well! are we bound to find this tall Spaniard in front of us all
the time?" said the pink domino to the shepherdess. "Is he chasing us?
What on earth does he want of us?"
"My dear, you or me must have made a conquest!"
"Do you think so? Then it must be you, as you are not masked."
"But he seems to be looking at you."
"He looks to me like a big simpleton."
"We might as well have some fun with him while we're waiting for our men
to join us."
"We must make him treat us to something."
Notice that this is the constant refrain of the ladies whom one meets at
public balls.
While the two women whispered to each other, Chamoureau, with one hand
on his hip, assumed a seductive smile and kept his eyes fixed on the
pink domino, who finally said to him in a voice that seemed in the habit
of crying fish for sale:
"What makes you look in my eyes like that, my handsome Spaniard? Do you
know me? If you do, say something to prove it, instead of standing there
staring at me like a porcelain dog!"
"I do not know whether I know you, fascinating domino," replied
Chamoureau, still smiling, "but I certainly should be most happy to make
your acquaintance; and if you have no objection, why then--it seems to
me--you understand----"
"Pardi! it isn't hard to understand. You want to make a conquest; you're
a seducer--anyone can see that at once!"
"And what about me, do you mean to seduce me too, Spaniard?" inquired
the shepherdess, showing an assortment of teeth of different sizes;
"you'd find it hard work, for d'ye see, I've vowed an everlasting hatred
to men!"
Chamoureau made a faint grimace at the shepherdess's language; but he
assumed that she was the pink domino's maid, and he said to her:
"No, I have never cared for shepherdesses; they're too pastoral for me!
My homage is addressed solely to your companion--this fascinating
domino."
"But suppose I am ugly, my dear man? for you don't know me!"
"Ugly! you can't be that, with such a shapely head, such brilliant eyes!
I am sure that you are adorable."
"You might well be cheated, my boy! there's nothing so deceptive as a
mask!"
"For my part," interposed the shepherdess, "I don't try to cheat anyone.
You can see at once what I look like; then, if I make a conquest, people
know what to expect anyway!"
"_Fichtre!_ yes," said Chamoureau to himself, "one can be certain that
he hasn't to do with a bluestocking! This shepherdess would do well to
leave the pretty domino for a while; but perhaps, when they know me
better, they'll consent to separate."
"Tell me, my handsome Spaniard, why do you wear a false nose and
moustaches? Are you flat-nosed, that you disguise yourself so?"
"No, I can assure you that I am not flat-nosed."
"Then does your real nose make you so very ugly?"
"I have never been told that I was ill-looking."
"People may have thought so!"
"It is not probable!"
"What a conceited creature!--Well, take off your nose, if you want us to
believe you."
"Ah! my pretty domino, you ask me to do something of great importance to
me. I have many reasons for not wanting to be recognized!"
"Bosh! you say that to put on airs. Maybe you're some great personage?
Are you a State official?"
"No, not exactly; but I have a very good position in society, and I have
to be careful."[F]
"Do you move people?" said the shepherdess; "so does my uncle!"
"No, no, I didn't say that. You misunderstood me, little shepherdess."
"Take off your nose, or I shall think you haven't got one underneath."
"Oh! what a shocking supposition! It may be that later, pretty domino,
when we are tête-à-tête----"
"Nay, nay, Lisette! My dear man, when you make love to a woman, you must
begin by showing her your nose. Isn't that so, Laïde?"
The shepherdess, who answered to the name of Laïde, replied simply:
"How hot it is here! God! how hot it is! And I'm eating dust! My chemise
is just sticking to me. I'd like to take something, just the least bit
_refreshening_. Ain't you thirsty?"
"Why, yes, I wouldn't mind a sip! My throat's all parched."
Chamoureau realized that that was the moment to show his gallantry; he
offered the domino his arm, saying:
"Accept my arm and some refreshments, lovely masker; I will escort you
to the buffet."
"I will accept everything! for this invitation proves to me that you are
a noble Spaniard.--Come along with us, Laïde!"
They made their way to one of the buffets which were at each end of the
foyer.
"What will the ladies take?" inquired Chamoureau. "Gooseberry
wine--lemonade--that's the best thing there is to cool you off."
"I prefer punch," said the pink domino.
"So do I," said the shepherdess; "it's much healthier than all those
other things, and I can drink two bowls of it without getting tight."
This naïve admission of the shepherdess made Chamoureau shudder. Luckily
for him, punch is ordinarily served in glasses in the foyer. Three
glasses were placed before the Spaniard and his guests. The domino and
the shepherdess tossed off the punch as if it were champagne, although
it was scalding hot. The widower had hardly wet his lips when the ladies
had emptied their glasses.
"It's hot! terribly hot! I can't swallow it as you do," said Chamoureau;
"it would burn my throat!"
"Ah! the poor boy is afraid of burning himself. I say, ain't you a man?
But we ain't going to stay on one leg, I suppose, are we?" said the
shepherdess.
"What do you mean by that, girl of the fields?"
"Ah! he don't understand! Where are you from, old no nose? Did they
bring you up in a closet?"
"It means, my dear, that we will take another glass of punch; that will
make the second leg," said the pink domino, squeezing the Spaniard's arm
with great force; and he, delighted to be squeezed, called at once:
"Waiter, more punch for these ladies!"
"And yourself?"
"Oh! if I should take any more, it would make me dizzy!"
"What an oyster!" whispered the pink domino in the shepherdess's ear.
"We need that kind," was the reply; "they're the attraction of the ball;
I have always liked oysters myself."
More glasses of punch were brought, which the two women put out of sight
as quickly as the first. Then Chamoureau lost no time in paying the bill
and leading his companions away from the buffet, for fear they would
express a wish to go on three legs.
Meanwhile, our Spaniard, thinking that the punch with which he had
regaled the ladies entitled him to become enterprising, ventured, in the
crowd, to place one hand on a spot where the pink domino might have worn
hoops. She turned upon him instantly, saying:
"Have done with such pranks, false nose! What sort of behavior is that?
what do you take me for?"
"Lovely masker, my hand went astray involuntarily."
"Look out that it don't go astray again in that direction."
"I only did it to find out----"
"Whether I wore steel skirts, eh?"
"Exactly."
"Well, I don't need such things; I'm plump enough not to wear
substitutes.--What in the world's the matter with your boots?"
"Nothing. They're too big; they keep falling."
"Why didn't you wear hoop-skirts on your legs? they wouldn't be out of
the way."
"Are you free, pretty domino, or under the control of a husband?"
"What makes you ask me that? Do you want to marry me?"
"Why, when one desires to form a loving intimacy, isn't it natural to
find out, first of all, the situation of the person one desires?"
"Aha! so you desire me, my tall hidalgo! in that case, you are going to
treat me and my friend to a stick of candy; if you don't, I won't allow
you to desire me."
"Oh, yes! candy!" cried the shepherdess. "Besides, I promised to take
some home to my little brother. And then, all the women have a stick in
their hands. It takes the place of a fan; it looks very nice."
Chamoureau considered that the ladies who go to the Opéra ball are
decidedly gluttonous, but it was impossible to draw back.
They were near the other buffet at that moment; the pink domino and the
shepherdess selected a stick of candy each, and they did not take the
smallest.
"How much?" asked the Spaniard.
"Ten francs."
"What! ten francs for candy?"
"A hundred sous each for the sticks the ladies took; two make ten
francs."
"Come, my noble friend, pay up!" laughed the pink domino. "You certainly
don't mean to haggle, do you? You'll make one believe you're not a
noble Castilian at all, and that you learned all you know of Spain in
Vaugirard!"
"No, no, I am not haggling!" said Chamoureau, making a horrible grimace
under his false nose. "But I'm afraid I haven't the change."
"We'll change a note for you, monsieur."
While our widower took his purse from under his belt and inspected the
contents, the shepherdess said to the pink domino in an undertone:
"My dear, there's our men over yonder, by the door, where we agreed.
They're looking for us, no doubt."
"In that case, let's be off, while that tall donkey has his false nose
in his purse."
Chamoureau changed a forty-franc piece to pay for his candy, and, when
he had received his change, turned to where the two women had stood,
flattering himself that his gallantry entitled him to the most delicious
reward. But instead of the pink domino, his false nose almost came in
contact with the eye of a mustachioed individual, who said to him very
sharply:
"For heaven's sake, be careful! Sapristi! do you take my face for a full
moon, that you try to bury your nose in it?"
Chamoureau made no reply; he was busily engaged in looking for his
conquest; but in vain did he gaze in every direction: his two ladies had
vanished.
In his amazement, our Spaniard applied to the woman at the desk.
"Do you know which way they went?"
"Who, monsieur?"
"The two ladies who were with me just now and whom I treated to candy at
a hundred sous a stick."
"No, monsieur."
"But they were right here, by my side, only a moment ago. I don't
understand it at all!"