I was sent home, and was glad enough to leave the service of one who
was tearing the husband from the wife, the child from the mother, and
the sister from the brother--but a trial more severe and heart-rending
than any which I had yet met with awaited me. My dear sister had been
sold to a man who was going to Natchez, and was lying in jail awaiting
the hour of his departure. She had expressed her determination to
die, rather than go to the far south, and she was put in jail for
safekeeping. I went to the jail the same day that I arrived, but as the
jailer was not in I could not see her.
I went home to my master, in the country, and the first day after my
return he came where I was at work, and spoke to me very politely. I
knew from his appearance that something was the matter. After talking
to me about my several journeys to New Orleans with Mr. Walker, he told
me that he was hard pressed for money, and as he had sold my mother
and all her children except me, he thought it would be better to sell
me than any other one, and that as I had been used to living in the
city, he thought it probable that I would prefer it to a country life.
I raised up my head, and looked him full in the face. When my eyes
caught his he immediately looked to the ground. After a short pause, I
said,
"Master, mother has often told me that you are a near relative of mine,
and I have often heard you admit the fact; and after you have hired me
out, and received, as I once heard you say, nine hundred dollars for
my services--after receiving this large sum, will you sell me to be
carried to New Orleans or some other place?"
"No," said he, "I do not intend to sell you to a negro trader. If I
had wished to have done that, I might have sold you to Mr. Walker for
a large sum, but I would not sell you to a negro trader. You may go to
the city, and find you a good master."
"But," said I, "I cannot find a good master in the whole city of St.
Louis."
"Why?" said he.
"Because there are no good masters in the state."
"Do you not call me a good master?"
"If you were you would not sell me."
"Now I will give you one week to find a master in, and surely you can
do it in that time."
The price set by my evangelical master upon my soul and body was the
trifling sum of five hundred dollars. I tried to enter into some
arrangement by which I might purchase my freedom; but he would enter
into no such arrangement.
I set out for the city with the understanding that I was to return in
a week with some one to become my new master. Soon after reaching the
city, I went to the jail, to learn if I could once more see my sister;
but could not gain admission. I then went to mother, and learned from
her that the owner of my sister intended to start for Natchez in a few
days.
I went to the jail again the next day, and Mr. Simonds, the keeper,
allowed me to see my sister for the last time. I cannot give a just
description of the scene at that parting interview. Never, never can
be erased from my heart the occurrences of that day! When I entered
the room where she was, she was seated in one corner, alone. There
were four other women in the same room, belonging to the same man. He
had purchased them, he said, for his own use. She was seated with her
face towards the door where I entered, yet she did not look up until
I walked up to her. As soon as she observed me she sprung up, threw
her arms around my neck, leaned her head upon my breast, and, without
uttering a word, burst into tears. As soon as she recovered herself
sufficiently to speak, she advised me to take mother, and try to get
out of slavery. She said there was no hope for herself--that she must
live and die a slave. After giving her some advice, and taking from my
finger a ring and placing it upon hers, I bade her farewell forever,
and returned to my mother, and then and there made up my mind to leave
for Canada as soon as possible.
I had been in the city nearly two days, and as I was to be absent only
a week, I thought best to get on my journey as soon as possible. In
conversing with mother, I found her unwilling to make the attempt to
reach a land of liberty, but she counselled me to get my liberty if I
could. She said, as all her children were in slavery, she did not wish
to leave them. I could not bear the idea of leaving her among those
pirates, when there was a prospect of being able to get away from them.
After much persuasion I succeeded in inducing her to make the attempt
to get away.
The time fixed for our departure was the next night. I had with me a
little money that I had received, from time to time, from gentlemen
for whom I had done errands. I took my scanty means and purchased some
dried beef, crackers and cheese, which I carried to mother, who had
provided herself with a bag to carry it in. I occasionally thought
of my old master, and of my mission to the city to find a new one. I
waited with the most intense anxiety for the appointed time to leave
the land of slavery, in search of a land of liberty.
The time at length arrived, and we left the city just as the clock
struck nine. We proceeded to the upper part of the city, where I had
been two or three times during the day, and selected a skiff to carry
us across the river. The boat was not mine, nor did I know to whom it
did belong; neither did I care. The boat was fastened with a small
pole, which, with the aid of a rail, I soon loosened from its moorings.
After hunting round and finding a board to use as an oar, I turned
to the city, and bidding it a long farewell, pushed off my boat. The
current running very swift, we had not reached the middle of the stream
before we were directly opposite the city.
We were soon upon the Illinois shore, and, leaping from the boat,
turned it adrift, and the last I saw of it it was going down the river
at good speed. We took the main road to Alton, and passed through just
at daylight, when we made for the woods, where we remained during the
day. Our reason for going into the woods was, that we expected that Mr.
Mansfield (the man who owned my mother) would start in pursuit of her
as soon as he discovered that she was missing. He also knew that I had
been in the city looking for a new master, and we thought probably he
would go out to my masters to see if he could find my mother, and in so
doing, Dr. Young might be led to suspect that I had gone to Canada to
find a purchaser.
We remained in the woods during the day, and as soon as darkness
overshadowed the earth, we started again on our gloomy way, having
no guide but the NORTH STAR. We continued to travel by night, and
secrete ourselves in the woods by day; and every night, before emerging
from our hiding-place, we would anxiously look for our friend and
leader--the NORTH STAR. And in the language of Pierpont we might have
exclaimed,
"Star of the North! while blazing day
Pours round me its full tide of light,
And hides thy pale but faithful ray,
I, too, lie hid, and long for night.
For night;--I dare not walk at noon,
Nor dare I trust the faithless moon,
Nor faithless man, whose burning lust
For gold hath riveted my chain;
No other leader can I trust
But thee, of even the starry train;
For, all the host around thee burning,
Like faithless man, keep turning, turning.
In the dark top of southern pines
I nestled, when the driver's horn
Called to the field, in lengthening lines,
My fellows, at the break of morn.
And there I lay, till thy sweet face
Looked in upon my 'hiding place,'
Star of the North!
Thy light, that no poor slave deceiveth,
Shall set me free."