THE DETECTIVE POLICE

WE are not by any means devout believers in the old Bow Street Police.

To say the truth, we think there was a vast amount of humbug about those

worthies. Apart from many of them being men of very indifferent

character, and far too much in the habit of consorting with thieves and

the like, they never lost a public occasion of jobbing and trading in

mystery and making the most of themselves. Continually puffed besides by

incompetent magistrates anxious to conceal their own deficiencies, and

hand-in-glove with the penny-a-liners of that time, they became a sort of

superstition. Although as a Preventive Police they were utterly

ineffective, and as a Detective Police were very loose and uncertain in

their operations, they remain with some people a superstition to the

present day.

On the other hand, the Detective Force organised since the establishment

of the existing Police, is so well chosen and trained, proceeds so

systematically and quietly, does its business in such a workmanlike

manner, and is always so calmly and steadily engaged in the service of

the public, that the public really do not know enough of it, to know a

tithe of its usefulness. Impressed with this conviction, and interested

in the men themselves, we represented to the authorities at Scotland

Yard, that we should be glad, if there were no official objection, to

have some talk with the Detectives. A most obliging and ready permission

being given, a certain evening was appointed with a certain Inspector for

a social conference between ourselves and the Detectives, at The

Household Words Office in Wellington Street, Strand, London. In

consequence of which appointment the party ‘came off,’ which we are about

to describe. And we beg to repeat that, avoiding such topics as it might

for obvious reasons be injurious to the public, or disagreeable to

respectable individuals, to touch upon in print, our description is as

exact as we can make it.

The reader will have the goodness to imagine the Sanctum Sanctorum of

Household Words. Anything that best suits the reader’s fancy, will best

represent that magnificent chamber. We merely stipulate for a round

table in the middle, with some glasses and cigars arranged upon it; and

the editorial sofa elegantly hemmed in between that stately piece of

furniture and the wall.

It is a sultry evening at dusk. The stones of Wellington Street are hot

and gritty, and the watermen and hackney-coachmen at the Theatre

opposite, are much flushed and aggravated. Carriages are constantly

setting down the people who have come to Fairy-Land; and there is a

mighty shouting and bellowing every now and then, deafening us for the

moment, through the open windows.

Just at dusk, Inspectors Wield and Stalker are announced; but we do not

undertake to warrant the orthography of any of the names here mentioned.

Inspector Wield presents Inspector Stalker. Inspector Wield is a

middle-aged man of a portly presence, with a large, moist, knowing eye, a

husky voice, and a habit of emphasising his conversation by the aid of a

corpulent fore-finger, which is constantly in juxtaposition with his eyes

or nose. Inspector Stalker is a shrewd, hard-headed Scotchman—in

appearance not at all unlike a very acute, thoroughly-trained

schoolmaster, from the Normal Establishment at Glasgow. Inspector Wield

one might have known, perhaps, for what he is—Inspector Stalker, never.

The ceremonies of reception over, Inspectors Wield and Stalker observe

that they have brought some sergeants with them. The sergeants are

presented—five in number, Sergeant Dornton, Sergeant Witchem, Sergeant

Mith, Sergeant Fendall, and Sergeant Straw. We have the whole Detective

Force from Scotland Yard, with one exception. They sit down in a

semi-circle (the two Inspectors at the two ends) at a little distance

from the round table, facing the editorial sofa. Every man of them, in a

glance, immediately takes an inventory of the furniture and an accurate

sketch of the editorial presence. The Editor feels that any gentleman in

company could take him up, if need should be, without the smallest

hesitation, twenty years hence.

The whole party are in plain clothes. Sergeant Dornton about fifty years

of age, with a ruddy face and a high sunburnt forehead, has the air of

one who has been a Sergeant in the army—he might have sat to Wilkie for

the Soldier in the Reading of the Will. He is famous for steadily

pursuing the inductive process, and, from small beginnings, working on

from clue to clue until he bags his man. Sergeant Witchem, shorter and

thicker-set, and marked with the small-pox, has something of a reserved

and thoughtful air, as if he were engaged in deep arithmetical

calculations. He is renowned for his acquaintance with the swell mob.

Sergeant Mith, a smooth-faced man with a fresh bright complexion, and a

strange air of simplicity, is a dab at housebreakers. Sergeant Fendall,

a light-haired, well-spoken, polite person, is a prodigious hand at

pursuing private inquiries of a delicate nature. Straw, a little wiry

Sergeant of meek demeanour and strong sense, would knock at a door and

ask a series of questions in any mild character you choose to prescribe

to him, from a charity-boy upwards, and seem as innocent as an infant.

They are, one and all, respectable-looking men; of perfectly good

deportment and unusual intelligence; with nothing lounging or slinking in

their manners; with an air of keen observation and quick perception when

addressed; and generally presenting in their faces, traces more or less

marked of habitually leading lives of strong mental excitement. They

have all good eyes; and they all can, and they all do, look full at

whomsoever they speak to.

We light the cigars, and hand round the glasses (which are very

temperately used indeed), and the conversation begins by a modest amateur

reference on the Editorial part to the swell mob. Inspector Wield

immediately removes his cigar from his lips, waves his right hand, and

says, ‘Regarding the swell mob, sir, I can’t do better than call upon

Sergeant Witchem. Because the reason why? I’ll tell you. Sergeant

Witchem is better acquainted with the swell mob than any officer in

London.’

Our heart leaping up when we beheld this rainbow in the sky, we turn to

Sergeant Witchem, who very concisely, and in well-chosen language, goes

into the subject forthwith. Meantime, the whole of his brother officers

are closely interested in attending to what he says, and observing its

effect. Presently they begin to strike in, one or two together, when an

opportunity offers, and the conversation becomes general. But these

brother officers only come in to the assistance of each other—not to the

contradiction—and a more amicable brotherhood there could not be. From

the swell mob, we diverge to the kindred topics of cracksmen, fences,

public-house dancers, area-sneaks, designing young people who go out

‘gonophing,’ and other ‘schools.’ It is observable throughout these

revelations, that Inspector Stalker, the Scotchman, is always exact and

statistical, and that when any question of figures arises, everybody as

by one consent pauses, and looks to him.

When we have exhausted the various schools of Art—during which discussion

the whole body have remained profoundly attentive, except when some

unusual noise at the Theatre over the way has induced some gentleman to

glance inquiringly towards the window in that direction, behind his next

neighbour’s back—we burrow for information on such points as the

following. Whether there really are any highway robberies in London, or

whether some circumstances not convenient to be mentioned by the

aggrieved party, usually precede the robberies complained of, under that

head, which quite change their character? Certainly the latter, almost

always. Whether in the case of robberies in houses, where servants are

necessarily exposed to doubt, innocence under suspicion ever becomes so

like guilt in appearance, that a good officer need be cautious how he

judges it? Undoubtedly. Nothing is so common or deceptive as such

appearances at first. Whether in a place of public amusement, a thief

knows an officer, and an officer knows a thief—supposing them,

beforehand, strangers to each other—because each recognises in the other,

under all disguise, an inattention to what is going on, and a purpose

that is not the purpose of being entertained? Yes. That’s the way

exactly. Whether it is reasonable or ridiculous to trust to the alleged

experiences of thieves as narrated by themselves, in prisons, or

penitentiaries, or anywhere? In general, nothing more absurd. Lying is

their habit and their trade; and they would rather lie—even if they

hadn’t an interest in it, and didn’t want to make themselves

agreeable—than tell the truth.

From these topics, we glide into a review of the most celebrated and

horrible of the great crimes that have been committed within the last

fifteen or twenty years. The men engaged in the discovery of almost all

of them, and in the pursuit or apprehension of the murderers, are here,

down to the very last instance. One of our guests gave chase to and

boarded the emigrant ship, in which the murderess last hanged in London

was supposed to have embarked. We learn from him that his errand was not

announced to the passengers, who may have no idea of it to this hour.

That he went below, with the captain, lamp in hand—it being dark, and the

whole steerage abed and sea-sick—and engaged the Mrs. Manning who was on

board, in a conversation about her luggage, until she was, with no small

pains, induced to raise her head, and turn her face towards the light.

Satisfied that she was not the object of his search, he quietly

re-embarked in the Government steamer along-side, and steamed home again

with the intelligence.

When we have exhausted these subjects, too, which occupy a considerable

time in the discussion, two or three leave their chairs, whisper Sergeant

Witchem, and resume their seat. Sergeant Witchem, leaning forward a

little, and placing a hand on each of his legs, then modestly speaks as

follows:

‘My brother-officers wish me to relate a little account of my taking

Tally-ho Thompson. A man oughtn’t to tell what he has done himself; but

still, as nobody was with me, and, consequently, as nobody but myself can

tell it, I’ll do it in the best way I can, if it should meet your

approval.’

We assure Sergeant Witchem that he will oblige us very much, and we all

compose ourselves to listen with great interest and attention.

‘Tally-ho Thompson,’ says Sergeant Witchem, after merely wetting his lips

with his brandy-and-water, ‘Tally-ho Thompson was a famous horse-stealer,

couper, and magsman. Thompson, in conjunction with a pal that

occasionally worked with him, gammoned a countryman out of a good round

sum of money, under pretence of getting him a situation—the regular old

dodge—and was afterwards in the “Hue and Cry” for a horse—a horse that he

stole down in Hertfordshire. I had to look after Thompson, and I applied

myself, of course, in the first instance, to discovering where he was.

Now, Thompson’s wife lived, along with a little daughter, at Chelsea.

Knowing that Thompson was somewhere in the country, I watched the

house—especially at post-time in the morning—thinking Thompson was pretty

likely to write to her. Sure enough, one morning the postman comes up,

and delivers a letter at Mrs. Thompson’s door. Little girl opens the

door, and takes it in. We’re not always sure of postmen, though the

people at the post-offices are always very obliging. A postman may help

us, or he may not,—just as it happens. However, I go across the road,

and I say to the postman, after he has left the letter, “Good morning!

how are you?” “How are _you_?” says he. “You’ve just delivered a letter

for Mrs. Thompson.” “Yes, I have.” “You didn’t happen to remark what

the post-mark was, perhaps?” “No,” says he, “I didn’t.” “Come,” says I,

“I’ll be plain with you. I’m in a small way of business, and I have

given Thompson credit, and I can’t afford to lose what he owes me. I

know he’s got money, and I know he’s in the country, and if you could

tell me what the post-mark was, I should be very much obliged to you, and

you’d do a service to a tradesman in a small way of business that can’t

afford a loss.” “Well,” he said, “I do assure you that I did not observe

what the post-mark was; all I know is, that there was money in the

letter—I should say a sovereign.” This was enough for me, because of

course I knew that Thompson having sent his wife money, it was probable

she’d write to Thompson, by return of post, to acknowledge the receipt.

So I said “Thankee” to the postman, and I kept on the watch. In the

afternoon I saw the little girl come out. Of course I followed her. She

went into a stationer’s shop, and I needn’t say to you that I looked in

at the window. She bought some writing-paper and envelopes, and a pen.

I think to myself, “That’ll do!”—watch her home again—and don’t go away,

you may be sure, knowing that Mrs. Thompson was writing her letter to

Tally-ho, and that the letter would be posted presently. In about an

hour or so, out came the little girl again, with the letter in her hand.

I went up, and said something to the child, whatever it might have been;

but I couldn’t see the direction of the letter, because she held it with

the seal upwards. However, I observed that on the back of the letter

there was what we call a kiss—a drop of wax by the side of the seal—and

again, you understand, that was enough for me. I saw her post the

letter, waited till she was gone, then went into the shop, and asked to

see the Master. When he came out, I told him, “Now, I’m an Officer in

the Detective Force; there’s a letter with a kiss been posted here just

now, for a man that I’m in search of; and what I have to ask of you, is,

that you will let me look at the direction of that letter.” He was very

civil—took a lot of letters from the box in the window—shook ’em out on

the counter with the faces downwards—and there among ’em was the

identical letter with the kiss. It was directed, Mr. Thomas Pigeon, Post

Office, B—, to be left till called for. Down I went to B— (a hundred and

twenty miles or so) that night. Early next morning I went to the Post

Office; saw the gentleman in charge of that department; told him who I

was; and that my object was to see, and track, the party that should come

for the letter for Mr. Thomas Pigeon. He was very polite, and said, “You

shall have every assistance we can give you; you can wait inside the

office; and we’ll take care to let you know when anybody comes for the

letter.” Well, I waited there three days, and began to think that nobody

ever would come. At last the clerk whispered to me, “Here! Detective!

Somebody’s come for the letter!” “Keep him a minute,” said I, and I ran

round to the outside of the office. There I saw a young chap with the

appearance of an Ostler, holding a horse by the bridle—stretching the

bridle across the pavement, while he waited at the Post Office Window for

the letter. I began to pat the horse, and that; and I said to the boy,

“Why, this is Mr. Jones’s Mare!” “No. It an’t.” “No?” said I. “She’s

very like Mr. Jones’s Mare!” “She an’t Mr. Jones’s Mare, anyhow,” says

he. “It’s Mr. So and So’s, of the Warwick Arms.” And up he jumped, and

off he went—letter and all. I got a cab, followed on the box, and was so

quick after him that I came into the stable-yard of the Warwick Arms, by

one gate, just as he came in by another. I went into the bar, where

there was a young woman serving, and called for a glass of

brandy-and-water. He came in directly, and handed her the letter. She

casually looked at it, without saying anything, and stuck it up behind

the glass over the chimney-piece. What was to be done next?

‘I turned it over in my mind while I drank my brandy-and-water (looking

pretty sharp at the letter the while), but I couldn’t see my way out of

it at all. I tried to get lodgings in the house, but there had been a

horse-fair, or something of that sort, and it was full. I was obliged to

put up somewhere else, but I came backwards and forwards to the bar for a

couple of days, and there was the letter always behind the glass. At

last I thought I’d write a letter to Mr. Pigeon myself, and see what that

would do. So I wrote one, and posted it, but I purposely addressed it,

Mr. John Pigeon, instead of Mr. Thomas Pigeon, to see what that would do.

In the morning (a very wet morning it was) I watched the postman down the

street, and cut into the bar, just before he reached the Warwick Arms.

In he came presently with my letter. “Is there a Mr. John Pigeon staying

here?” “No!—stop a bit though,” says the barmaid; and she took down the

letter behind the glass. “No,” says she, “it’s Thomas, and he is not

staying here. Would you do me a favour, and post this for me, as it is

so wet?” The postman said Yes; she folded it in another envelope,

directed it, and gave it him. He put it in his hat, and away he went.

‘I had no difficulty in finding out the direction of that letter. It was

addressed Mr. Thomas Pigeon, Post Office, R—, Northamptonshire, to be

left till called for. Off I started directly for R—; I said the same at

the Post Office there, as I had said at B—; and again I waited three days

before anybody came. At last another chap on horseback came. “Any

letters for Mr. Thomas Pigeon?” “Where do you come from?” “New Inn,

near R—.” He got the letter, and away he went at a canter.

‘I made my inquiries about the New Inn, near R—, and hearing it was a

solitary sort of house, a little in the horse line, about a couple of

miles from the station, I thought I’d go and have a look at it. I found

it what it had been described, and sauntered in, to look about me. The

landlady was in the bar, and I was trying to get into conversation with

her; asked her how business was, and spoke about the wet weather, and so

on; when I saw, through an open door, three men sitting by the fire in a

sort of parlour, or kitchen; and one of those men, according to the

description I had of him, was Tally-ho Thompson!

‘I went and sat down among ’em, and tried to make things agreeable; but

they were very shy—wouldn’t talk at all—looked at me, and at one another,

in a way quite the reverse of sociable. I reckoned ’em up, and finding

that they were all three bigger men than me, and considering that their

looks were ugly—that it was a lonely place—railroad station two miles

off—and night coming on—thought I couldn’t do better than have a drop of

brandy-and-water to keep my courage up. So I called for my

brandy-and-water; and as I was sitting drinking it by the fire, Thompson

got up and went out.

‘Now the difficulty of it was, that I wasn’t sure it was Thompson,

because I had never set eyes on him before; and what I had wanted was to

be quite certain of him. However, there was nothing for it now, but to

follow, and put a bold face upon it. I found him talking, outside in the

yard, with the landlady. It turned out afterwards that he was wanted by

a Northampton officer for something else, and that, knowing that officer

to be pock-marked (as I am myself), he mistook me for him. As I have

observed, I found him talking to the landlady, outside. I put my hand

upon his shoulder—this way—and said, “Tally-ho Thompson, it’s no use. I

know you. I’m an officer from London, and I take you into custody for

felony!” “That be d-d!” says Tally-ho Thompson.

‘We went back into the house, and the two friends began to cut up rough,

and their looks didn’t please me at all, I assure you. “Let the man go.

What are you going to do with him?” “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do

with him. I’m going to take him to London to-night, as sure as I’m

alive. I’m not alone here, whatever you may think. You mind your own

business, and keep yourselves to yourselves. It’ll be better for you,

for I know you both very well.” _I_’d never seen or heard of ’em in all

my life, but my bouncing cowed ’em a bit, and they kept off, while

Thompson was making ready to go. I thought to myself, however, that they

might be coming after me on the dark road, to rescue Thompson; so I said

to the landlady, “What men have you got in the house, Missis?” “We

haven’t got no men here,” she says, sulkily. “You have got an ostler, I

suppose?” “Yes, we’ve got an ostler.” “Let me see him.” Presently he

came, and a shaggy-headed young fellow he was. “Now attend to me, young

man,” says I; “I’m a Detective Officer from London. This man’s name is

Thompson. I have taken him into custody for felony. I am going to take

him to the railroad station. I call upon you in the Queen’s name to

assist me; and mind you, my friend, you’ll get yourself into more trouble

than you know of, if you don’t!” You never saw a person open his eyes so

wide. “Now, Thompson, come along!” says I. But when I took out the

handcuffs, Thompson cries, “No! None of that! I won’t stand _them_!

I’ll go along with you quiet, but I won’t bear none of that!” “Tally-ho

Thompson,” I said, “I’m willing to behave as a man to you, if you are

willing to behave as a man to me. Give me your word that you’ll come

peaceably along, and I don’t want to handcuff you.” “I will,” says

Thompson, “but I’ll have a glass of brandy first.” “I don’t care if I’ve

another,” said I. “We’ll have two more, Missis,” said the friends, “and

confound you, Constable, you’ll give your man a drop, won’t you?” I was

agreeable to that, so we had it all round, and then my man and I took

Tally-ho Thompson safe to the railroad, and I carried him to London that

night. He was afterwards acquitted, on account of a defect in the

evidence; and I understand he always praises me up to the skies, and says

I’m one of the best of men.’

This story coming to a termination amidst general applause, Inspector

Wield, after a little grave smoking, fixes his eye on his host, and thus

delivers himself:

‘It wasn’t a bad plant that of mine, on Fikey, the man accused of forging

the Sou’-Western Railway debentures—it was only t’other day—because the

reason why? I’ll tell you.

‘I had information that Fikey and his brother kept a factory over yonder

there,’—indicating any region on the Surrey side of the river—‘where he

bought second-hand carriages; so after I’d tried in vain to get hold of

him by other means, I wrote him a letter in an assumed name, saying that

I’d got a horse and shay to dispose of, and would drive down next day

that he might view the lot, and make an offer—very reasonable it was, I

said—a reg’lar bargain. Straw and me then went off to a friend of mine

that’s in the livery and job business, and hired a turn-out for the day,

a precious smart turn-out it was—quite a slap-up thing! Down we drove,

accordingly, with a friend (who’s not in the Force himself); and leaving

my friend in the shay near a public-house, to take care of the horse, we

went to the factory, which was some little way off. In the factory,

there was a number of strong fellows at work, and after reckoning ’em up,

it was clear to me that it wouldn’t do to try it on there. They were too

many for us. We must get our man out of doors. “Mr. Fikey at home?”

“No, he ain’t.” “Expected home soon?” “Why, no, not soon.” “Ah! Is

his brother here?” “I’m his brother.” “Oh! well, this is an

ill-conwenience, this is. I wrote him a letter yesterday, saying I’d got

a little turn-out to dispose of, and I’ve took the trouble to bring the

turn-out down a’ purpose, and now he ain’t in the way.” “No, he ain’t in

the way. You couldn’t make it convenient to call again, could you?”

“Why, no, I couldn’t. I want to sell; that’s the fact; and I can’t put

it off. Could you find him anywheres?” At first he said No, he

couldn’t, and then he wasn’t sure about it, and then he’d go and try. So

at last he went up-stairs, where there was a sort of loft, and presently

down comes my man himself in his shirt-sleeves.

‘“Well,” he says, “this seems to be rayther a pressing matter of yours.”

“Yes,” I says, “it _is_ rayther a pressing matter, and you’ll find it a

bargain—dirt cheap.” “I ain’t in partickler want of a bargain just now,”

he says, “but where is it?” “Why,” I says, “the turn-out’s just outside.

Come and look at it.” He hasn’t any suspicions, and away we go. And the

first thing that happens is, that the horse runs away with my friend (who

knows no more of driving than a child) when he takes a little trot along

the road to show his paces. You never saw such a game in your life!

‘When the bolt is over, and the turn-out has come to a standstill again,

Fikey walks round and round it as grave as a judge—me too. “There, sir!”

I says. “There’s a neat thing!” “It ain’t a bad style of thing,” he

says. “I believe you,” says I. “And there’s a horse!”—for I saw him

looking at it. “Rising eight!” I says, rubbing his fore-legs. (Bless

you, there ain’t a man in the world knows less of horses than I do, but

I’d heard my friend at the Livery Stables say he was eight year old, so I

says, as knowing as possible, “Rising eight.”) “Rising eight, is he?”

says he. “Rising eight,” says I. “Well,” he says, “what do you want for

it?” “Why, the first and last figure for the whole concern is

five-and-twenty pound!” “That’s very cheap!” he says, looking at me.

“Ain’t it?” I says. “I told you it was a bargain! Now, without any

higgling and haggling about it, what I want is to sell, and that’s my

price. Further, I’ll make it easy to you, and take half the money down,

and you can do a bit of stiff {415} for the balance.”

“Well,” he says again, “that’s very cheap.” “I believe you,” says I;

“get in and try it, and you’ll buy it. Come! take a trial!”

‘Ecod, he gets in, and we get in, and we drive along the road, to show

him to one of the railway clerks that was hid in the public-house window

to identify him. But the clerk was bothered, and didn’t know whether it

was him, or wasn’t—because the reason why? I’ll tell you,—on account of

his having shaved his whiskers. “It’s a clever little horse,” he says,

“and trots well; and the shay runs light.” “Not a doubt about it,” I

says. “And now, Mr. Fikey, I may as well make it all right, without

wasting any more of your time. The fact is, I’m Inspector Wield, and

you’re my prisoner.” “You don’t mean that?” he says. “I do, indeed.”

“Then burn my body,” says Fikey, “if this ain’t too bad!”

‘Perhaps you never saw a man so knocked over with surprise. “I hope

you’ll let me have my coat?” he says. “By all means.” “Well, then,

let’s drive to the factory.” “Why, not exactly that, I think,” said I;

“I’ve been there, once before, to-day. Suppose we send for it.” He saw

it was no go, so he sent for it, and put it on, and we drove him up to

London, comfortable.’

This reminiscence is in the height of its success, when a general

proposal is made to the fresh-complexioned, smooth-faced officer, with

the strange air of simplicity, to tell the ‘Butcher’s Story.’

The fresh-complexioned, smooth-faced officer, with the strange air of

simplicity, began with a rustic smile, and in a soft, wheedling tone of

voice, to relate the Butcher’s Story, thus:

‘It’s just about six years ago, now, since information was given at

Scotland Yard of there being extensive robberies of lawns and silks going

on, at some wholesale houses in the City. Directions were given for the

business being looked into; and Straw, and Fendall, and me, we were all

in it.’

‘When you received your instructions,’ said we, ‘you went away, and held

a sort of Cabinet Council together!’

The smooth-faced officer coaxingly replied, ‘Ye-es. Just so. We turned

it over among ourselves a good deal. It appeared, when we went into it,

that the goods were sold by the receivers extraordinarily cheap—much

cheaper than they could have been if they had been honestly come by. The

receivers were in the trade, and kept capital shops—establishments of the

first respectability—one of ’em at the West End, one down in Westminster.

After a lot of watching and inquiry, and this and that among ourselves,

we found that the job was managed, and the purchases of the stolen goods

made, at a little public-house near Smithfield, down by Saint

Bartholomew’s; where the Warehouse Porters, who were the thieves, took

’em for that purpose, don’t you see? and made appointments to meet the

people that went between themselves and the receivers. This public-house

was principally used by journeymen butchers from the country, out of

place, and in want of situations; so, what did we do, but—ha, ha, ha!—we

agreed that I should be dressed up like a butcher myself, and go and live

there!’

Never, surely, was a faculty of observation better brought to bear upon a

purpose, than that which picked out this officer for the part. Nothing

in all creation could have suited him better. Even while he spoke, he

became a greasy, sleepy, shy, good-natured, chuckle-headed, unsuspicious,

and confiding young butcher. His very hair seemed to have suet in it, as

he made it smooth upon his head, and his fresh complexion to be

lubricated by large quantities of animal food.

‘—So I—ha, ha, ha!’ (always with the confiding snigger of the foolish

young butcher) ‘so I dressed myself in the regular way, made up a little

bundle of clothes, and went to the public-house, and asked if I could

have a lodging there? They says, “yes, you can have a lodging here,” and

I got a bedroom, and settled myself down in the tap. There was a number

of people about the place, and coming backwards and forwards to the

house; and first one says, and then another says, “Are you from the

country, young man?” “Yes,” I says, “I am. I’m come out of

Northamptonshire, and I’m quite lonely here, for I don’t know London at

all, and it’s such a mighty big town.” “It _is_ a big town,” they says.

“Oh, it’s a _very_ big town!” I says. “Really and truly I never was in

such a town. It quite confuses of me!” and all that, you know.

‘When some of the journeymen Butchers that used the house, found that I

wanted a place, they says, “Oh, we’ll get you a place!” And they

actually took me to a sight of places, in Newgate Market, Newport Market,

Clare, Carnaby—I don’t know where all. But the wages was—ha, ha, ha!—was

not sufficient, and I never could suit myself, don’t you see? Some of

the queer frequenters of the house were a little suspicious of me at

first, and I was obliged to be very cautious indeed how I communicated

with Straw or Fendall. Sometimes, when I went out, pretending to stop

and look into the shop windows, and just casting my eye round, I used to

see some of ’em following me; but, being perhaps better accustomed than

they thought for, to that sort of thing, I used to lead ’em on as far as

I thought necessary or convenient—sometimes a long way—and then turn

sharp round, and meet ’em, and say, “Oh, dear, how glad I am to come upon

you so fortunate! This London’s such a place, I’m blowed if I ain’t lost

again!” And then we’d go back all together, to the public-house, and—ha,

ha, ha! and smoke our pipes, don’t you see?

‘They were very attentive to me, I am sure. It was a common thing, while

I was living there, for some of ’em to take me out, and show me London.

They showed me the Prisons—showed me Newgate—and when they showed me

Newgate, I stops at the place where the Porters pitch their loads, and

says, “Oh dear, is this where they hang the men? Oh Lor!” “That!” they

says, “what a simple cove he is! _That_ ain’t it!” And then, they

pointed out which was it, and I says “Lor!” and they says, “Now you’ll

know it agen, won’t you?” And I said I thought I should if I tried

hard—and I assure you I kept a sharp look out for the City Police when we

were out in this way, for if any of ’em had happened to know me, and had

spoke to me, it would have been all up in a minute. However, by good

luck such a thing never happened, and all went on quiet: though the

difficulties I had in communicating with my brother officers were quite

extraordinary.

‘The stolen goods that were brought to the public-house by the Warehouse

Porters, were always disposed of in a back parlour. For a long time, I

never could get into this parlour, or see what was done there. As I sat

smoking my pipe, like an innocent young chap, by the tap-room fire, I’d

hear some of the parties to the robbery, as they came in and out, say

softly to the landlord, “Who’s that? What does he do here?” “Bless your

soul,” says the landlord, “he’s only a”—ha, ha, ha!—“he’s only a green

young fellow from the country, as is looking for a butcher’s sitiwation.

Don’t mind him!” So, in course of time, they were so convinced of my

being green, and got to be so accustomed to me, that I was as free of the

parlour as any of ’em, and I have seen as much as Seventy Pounds’ Worth

of fine lawn sold there, in one night, that was stolen from a warehouse

in Friday Street. After the sale the buyers always stood treat—hot

supper, or dinner, or what not—and they’d say on those occasions, “Come

on, Butcher! Put your best leg foremost, young ‘un, and walk into it!”

Which I used to do—and hear, at table, all manner of particulars that it

was very important for us Detectives to know.

‘This went on for ten weeks. I lived in the public-house all the time,

and never was out of the Butcher’s dress—except in bed. At last, when I

had followed seven of the thieves, and set ’em to rights—that’s an

expression of ours, don’t you see, by which I mean to say that I traced

’em, and found out where the robberies were done, and all about

’em—Straw, and Fendall, and I, gave one another the office, and at a time

agreed upon, a descent was made upon the public-house, and the

apprehensions effected. One of the first things the officers did, was to

collar me—for the parties to the robbery weren’t to suppose yet, that I

was anything but a Butcher—on which the landlord cries out, “Don’t take

him,” he says, “whatever you do! He’s only a poor young chap from the

country, and butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth!” However, they—ha, ha,

ha!—they took me, and pretended to search my bedroom, where nothing was

found but an old fiddle belonging to the landlord, that had got there

somehow or another. But, it entirely changed the landlord’s opinion, for

when it was produced, he says, “My fiddle! The Butcher’s a purloiner! I

give him into custody for the robbery of a musical instrument!”

‘The man that had stolen the goods in Friday Street was not taken yet.

He had told me, in confidence, that he had his suspicions there was

something wrong (on account of the City Police having captured one of the

party), and that he was going to make himself scarce. I asked him,

“Where do you mean to go, Mr. Shepherdson?” “Why, Butcher,” says he,

“the Setting Moon, in the Commercial Road, is a snug house, and I shall

bang out there for a time. I shall call myself Simpson, which appears to

me to be a modest sort of a name. Perhaps you’ll give us a look in,

Butcher?” “Well,” says I, “I think I will give you a call”—which I fully

intended, don’t you see, because, of course, he was to be taken! I went

over to the Setting Moon next day, with a brother officer, and asked at

the bar for Simpson. They pointed out his room, up-stairs. As we were

going up, he looks down over the banister, and calls out, “Halloa,

Butcher! is that you?” “Yes, it’s me. How do you find yourself?”

“Bobbish,” he says; “but who’s that with you?” “It’s only a young man,

that’s a friend of mine,” I says. “Come along, then,” says he; “any

friend of the Butcher’s is as welcome as the Butcher!” So, I made my

friend acquainted with him, and we took him into custody.

‘You have no idea, sir, what a sight it was, in Court, when they first

knew that I wasn’t a Butcher, after all! I wasn’t produced at the first

examination, when there was a remand; but I was at the second. And when

I stepped into the box, in full police uniform, and the whole party saw

how they had been done, actually a groan of horror and dismay proceeded

from ’em in the dock!

‘At the Old Bailey, when their trials came on, Mr. Clarkson was engaged

for the defence, and he couldn’t make out how it was, about the Butcher.

He thought, all along, it was a real Butcher. When the counsel for the

prosecution said, “I will now call before you, gentlemen, the

Police-officer,” meaning myself, Mr. Clarkson says, “Why Police-officer?

Why more Police-officers? I don’t want Police. We have had a great deal

too much of the Police. I want the Butcher!” However, sir, he had the

Butcher and the Police-officer, both in one. Out of seven prisoners

committed for trial, five were found guilty, and some of ’em were

transported. The respectable firm at the West End got a term of

imprisonment; and that’s the Butcher’s Story!’

The story done, the chuckle-headed Butcher again resolved himself into

the smooth-faced Detective. But, he was so extremely tickled by their

having taken him about, when he was that Dragon in disguise, to show him

London, that he could not help reverting to that point in his narrative;

and gently repeating with the Butcher snigger, ‘“Oh, dear,” I says, “is

that where they hang the men? Oh, Lor!” “_That_!” says they. “What a

simple cove he is!”’

It being now late, and the party very modest in their fear of being too

diffuse, there were some tokens of separation; when Sergeant Dornton, the

soldierly-looking man, said, looking round him with a smile:

‘Before we break up, sir, perhaps you might have some amusement in

hearing of the Adventures of a Carpet Bag. They are very short; and, I

think, curious.’

We welcomed the Carpet Bag, as cordially as Mr. Shepherdson welcomed the

false Butcher at the Setting Moon. Sergeant Dornton proceeded.

‘In 1847, I was despatched to Chatham, in search of one Mesheck, a Jew.

He had been carrying on, pretty heavily, in the bill-stealing way,

getting acceptances from young men of good connexions (in the army

chiefly), on pretence of discount, and bolting with the same.

‘Mesheck was off, before I got to Chatham. All I could learn about him

was, that he had gone, probably to London, and had with him—a Carpet Bag.

‘I came back to town, by the last train from Blackwall, and made

inquiries concerning a Jew passenger with—a Carpet Bag.

‘The office was shut up, it being the last train. There were only two or

three porters left. Looking after a Jew with a Carpet Bag, on the

Blackwall Railway, which was then the high road to a great Military

Depôt, was worse than looking after a needle in a hayrick. But it

happened that one of these porters had carried, for a certain Jew, to a

certain public-house, a certain—Carpet Bag.

‘I went to the public-house, but the Jew had only left his luggage there

for a few hours, and had called for it in a cab, and taken it away. I

put such questions there, and to the porter, as I thought prudent, and

got at this description of—the Carpet Bag.

‘It was a bag which had, on one side of it, worked in worsted, a green

parrot on a stand. A green parrot on a stand was the means by which to

identify that—Carpet Bag.

‘I traced Mesheck, by means of this green parrot on a stand, to

Cheltenham, to Birmingham, to Liverpool, to the Atlantic Ocean. At

Liverpool he was too many for me. He had gone to the United States, and

I gave up all thoughts of Mesheck, and likewise of his—Carpet Bag.

‘Many months afterwards—near a year afterwards—there was a bank in

Ireland robbed of seven thousand pounds, by a person of the name of

Doctor Dundey, who escaped to America; from which country some of the

stolen notes came home. He was supposed to have bought a farm in New

Jersey. Under proper management, that estate could be seized and sold,

for the benefit of the parties he had defrauded. I was sent off to

America for this purpose.

‘I landed at Boston. I went on to New York. I found that he had lately

changed New York paper-money for New Jersey paper money, and had banked

cash in New Brunswick. To take this Doctor Dundey, it was necessary to

entrap him into the State of New York, which required a deal of artifice

and trouble. At one time, he couldn’t be drawn into an appointment. At

another time, he appointed to come to meet me, and a New York officer, on

a pretext I made; and then his children had the measles. At last he

came, per steamboat, and I took him, and lodged him in a New York prison

called the Tombs; which I dare say you know, sir?’

Editorial acknowledgment to that effect.

‘I went to the Tombs, on the morning after his capture, to attend the

examination before the magistrate. I was passing through the

magistrate’s private room, when, happening to look round me to take

notice of the place, as we generally have a habit of doing, I clapped my

eyes, in one corner, on a—Carpet Bag.

‘What did I see upon that Carpet Bag, if you’ll believe me, but a green

parrot on a stand, as large as life!

‘“That Carpet Bag, with the representation of a green parrot on a stand,”

said I, “belongs to an English Jew, named Aaron Mesheck, and to no other

man, alive or dead!”

‘I give you my word the New York Police Officers were doubled up with

surprise.

‘“How did you ever come to know that?” said they.

‘“I think I ought to know that green parrot by this time,” said I; “for I

have had as pretty a dance after that bird, at home, as ever I had, in

all my life!”’

* * * * *

‘And was it Mesheck’s?’ we submissively inquired.

‘Was it, sir? Of course it was! He was in custody for another offence,

in that very identical Tombs, at that very identical time. And, more

than that! Some memoranda, relating to the fraud for which I had vainly

endeavoured to take him, were found to be, at that moment, lying in that

very same individual—Carpet Bag!’

* * * * *

Such are the curious coincidences and such is the peculiar ability,

always sharpening and being improved by practice, and always adapting

itself to every variety of circumstances, and opposing itself to every

new device that perverted ingenuity can invent, for which this important

social branch of the public service is remarkable! For ever on the

watch, with their wits stretched to the utmost, these officers have, from

day to day and year to year, to set themselves against every novelty of

trickery and dexterity that the combined imaginations of all the lawless

rascals in England can devise, and to keep pace with every such invention

that comes out. In the Courts of Justice, the materials of thousands of

such stories as we have narrated—often elevated into the marvellous and

romantic, by the circumstances of the case—are dryly compressed into the

set phrase, ‘in consequence of information I received, I did so and so.’

Suspicion was to be directed, by careful inference and deduction, upon

the right person; the right person was to be taken, wherever he had gone,

or whatever he was doing to avoid detection: he is taken; there he is at

the bar; that is enough. From information I, the officer, received, I

did it; and, according to the custom in these cases, I say no more.

These games of chess, played with live pieces, are played before small

audiences, and are chronicled nowhere. The interest of the game supports

the player. Its results are enough for justice. To compare great things

with small, suppose LEVERRIER or ADAMS informing the public that from

information he had received he had discovered a new planet; or COLUMBUS

informing the public of his day that from information he had received he

had discovered a new continent; so the Detectives inform it that they

have discovered a new fraud or an old offender, and the process is

unknown.

Thus, at midnight, closed the proceedings of our curious and interesting

party. But one other circumstance finally wound up the evening, after

our Detective guests had left us. One of the sharpest among them, and

the officer best acquainted with the Swell Mob, had his pocket picked,

going home!

Reprinted Pieces · 第 19 / 37 题