THE BEGGING-LETTER WRITER

THE amount of money he annually diverts from wholesome and useful

purposes in the United Kingdom, would be a set-off against the Window

Tax. He is one of the most shameless frauds and impositions of this

time. In his idleness, his mendacity, and the immeasurable harm he does

to the deserving,—dirtying the stream of true benevolence, and muddling

the brains of foolish justices, with inability to distinguish between the

base coin of distress, and the true currency we have always among us,—he

is more worthy of Norfolk Island than three-fourths of the worst

characters who are sent there. Under any rational system, he would have

been sent there long ago.

I, the writer of this paper, have been, for some time, a chosen receiver

of Begging Letters. For fourteen years, my house has been made as

regular a Receiving House for such communications as any one of the great

branch Post-Offices is for general correspondence. I ought to know

something of the Begging-Letter Writer. He has besieged my door at all

hours of the day and night; he has fought my servant; he has lain in

ambush for me, going out and coming in; he has followed me out of town

into the country; he has appeared at provincial hotels, where I have been

staying for only a few hours; he has written to me from immense

distances, when I have been out of England. He has fallen sick; he has

died and been buried; he has come to life again, and again departed from

this transitory scene: he has been his own son, his own mother, his own

baby, his idiot brother, his uncle, his aunt, his aged grandfather. He

has wanted a greatcoat, to go to India in; a pound to set him up in life

for ever; a pair of boots to take him to the coast of China; a hat to get

him into a permanent situation under Government. He has frequently been

exactly seven-and-sixpence short of independence. He has had such

openings at Liverpool—posts of great trust and confidence in merchants’

houses, which nothing but seven-and-sixpence was wanting to him to

secure—that I wonder he is not Mayor of that flourishing town at the

present moment.

The natural phenomena of which he has been the victim, are of a most

astounding nature. He has had two children who have never grown up; who

have never had anything to cover them at night; who have been continually

driving him mad, by asking in vain for food; who have never come out of

fevers and measles (which, I suppose, has accounted for his fuming his

letters with tobacco smoke, as a disinfectant); who have never changed in

the least degree through fourteen long revolving years. As to his wife,

what that suffering woman has undergone, nobody knows. She has always

been in an interesting situation through the same long period, and has

never been confined yet. His devotion to her has been unceasing. He has

never cared for himself; he could have perished—he would rather, in

short—but was it not his Christian duty as a man, a husband, and a

father,—to write begging letters when he looked at her? (He has usually

remarked that he would call in the evening for an answer to this

question.)

He has been the sport of the strangest misfortunes. What his brother has

done to him would have broken anybody else’s heart. His brother went

into business with him, and ran away with the money; his brother got him

to be security for an immense sum and left him to pay it; his brother

would have given him employment to the tune of hundreds a-year, if he

would have consented to write letters on a Sunday; his brother enunciated

principles incompatible with his religious views, and he could not (in

consequence) permit his brother to provide for him. His landlord has

never shown a spark of human feeling. When he put in that execution I

don’t know, but he has never taken it out. The broker’s man has grown

grey in possession. They will have to bury him some day.

He has been attached to every conceivable pursuit. He has been in the

army, in the navy, in the church, in the law; connected with the press,

the fine arts, public institutions, every description and grade of

business. He has been brought up as a gentleman; he has been at every

college in Oxford and Cambridge; he can quote Latin in his letters (but

generally misspells some minor English word); he can tell you what

Shakespeare says about begging, better than you know it. It is to be

observed, that in the midst of his afflictions he always reads the

newspapers; and rounds off his appeal with some allusion, that may be

supposed to be in my way, to the popular subject of the hour.

His life presents a series of inconsistencies. Sometimes he has never

written such a letter before. He blushes with shame. That is the first

time; that shall be the last. Don’t answer it, and let it be understood

that, then, he will kill himself quietly. Sometimes (and more

frequently) he _has_ written a few such letters. Then he encloses the

answers, with an intimation that they are of inestimable value to him,

and a request that they may be carefully returned. He is fond of

enclosing something—verses, letters, pawnbrokers’ duplicates, anything to

necessitate an answer. He is very severe upon ‘the pampered minion of

fortune,’ who refused him the half-sovereign referred to in the enclosure

number two—but he knows me better.

He writes in a variety of styles; sometimes in low spirits; sometimes

quite jocosely. When he is in low spirits he writes down-hill and

repeats words—these little indications being expressive of the

perturbation of his mind. When he is more vivacious, he is frank with

me; he is quite the agreeable rattle. I know what human nature is,—who

better? Well! He had a little money once, and he ran through it—as many

men have done before him. He finds his old friends turn away from him

now—many men have done that before him too! Shall he tell me why he

writes to me? Because he has no kind of claim upon me. He puts it on

that ground plainly; and begs to ask for the loan (as I know human

nature) of two sovereigns, to be repaid next Tuesday six weeks, before

twelve at noon.

Sometimes, when he is sure that I have found him out, and that there is

no chance of money, he writes to inform me that I have got rid of him at

last. He has enlisted into the Company’s service, and is off

directly—but he wants a cheese. He is informed by the serjeant that it

is essential to his prospects in the regiment that he should take out a

single Gloucester cheese, weighing from twelve to fifteen pounds. Eight

or nine shillings would buy it. He does not ask for money, after what

has passed; but if he calls at nine, to-morrow morning may he hope to

find a cheese? And is there anything he can do to show his gratitude in

Bengal?

Once he wrote me rather a special letter, proposing relief in kind. He

had got into a little trouble by leaving parcels of mud done up in brown

paper, at people’s houses, on pretence of being a Railway-Porter, in

which character he received carriage money. This sportive fancy he

expiated in the House of Correction. Not long after his release, and on

a Sunday morning, he called with a letter (having first dusted himself

all over), in which he gave me to understand that, being resolved to earn

an honest livelihood, he had been travelling about the country with a

cart of crockery. That he had been doing pretty well until the day

before, when his horse had dropped down dead near Chatham, in Kent. That

this had reduced him to the unpleasant necessity of getting into the

shafts himself, and drawing the cart of crockery to London—a somewhat

exhausting pull of thirty miles. That he did not venture to ask again

for money; but that if I would have the goodness _to leave him out a

donkey_, he would call for the animal before breakfast!

At another time my friend (I am describing actual experiences) introduced

himself as a literary gentleman in the last extremity of distress. He

had had a play accepted at a certain Theatre—which was really open; its

representation was delayed by the indisposition of a leading actor—who

was really ill; and he and his were in a state of absolute starvation.

If he made his necessities known to the Manager of the Theatre, he put it

to me to say what kind of treatment he might expect? Well! we got over

that difficulty to our mutual satisfaction. A little while afterwards he

was in some other strait. I think Mrs. Southcote, his wife, was in

extremity—and we adjusted that point too. A little while afterwards he

had taken a new house, and was going headlong to ruin for want of a

water-butt. I had my misgivings about the water-butt, and did not reply

to that epistle. But a little while afterwards, I had reason to feel

penitent for my neglect. He wrote me a few broken-hearted lines,

informing me that the dear partner of his sorrows died in his arms last

night at nine o’clock!

I despatched a trusty messenger to comfort the bereaved mourner and his

poor children; but the messenger went so soon, that the play was not

ready to be played out; my friend was not at home, and his wife was in a

most delightful state of health. He was taken up by the Mendicity

Society (informally it afterwards appeared), and I presented myself at a

London Police-Office with my testimony against him. The Magistrate was

wonderfully struck by his educational acquirements, deeply impressed by

the excellence of his letters, exceedingly sorry to see a man of his

attainments there, complimented him highly on his powers of composition,

and was quite charmed to have the agreeable duty of discharging him. A

collection was made for the ‘poor fellow,’ as he was called in the

reports, and I left the court with a comfortable sense of being

universally regarded as a sort of monster. Next day comes to me a friend

of mine, the governor of a large prison. ‘Why did you ever go to the

Police-Office against that man,’ says he, ‘without coming to me first? I

know all about him and his frauds. He lodged in the house of one of my

warders, at the very time when he first wrote to you; and then he was

eating spring-lamb at eighteen-pence a pound, and early asparagus at I

don’t know how much a bundle!’ On that very same day, and in that very

same hour, my injured gentleman wrote a solemn address to me, demanding

to know what compensation I proposed to make him for his having passed

the night in a ‘loathsome dungeon.’ And next morning an Irish gentleman,

a member of the same fraternity, who had read the case, and was very well

persuaded I should be chary of going to that Police-Office again,

positively refused to leave my door for less than a sovereign, and,

resolved to besiege me into compliance, literally ‘sat down’ before it

for ten mortal hours. The garrison being well provisioned, I remained

within the walls; and he raised the siege at midnight with a prodigious

alarum on the bell.

The Begging-Letter Writer often has an extensive circle of acquaintance.

Whole pages of the ‘Court Guide’ are ready to be references for him.

Noblemen and gentlemen write to say there never was such a man for

probity and virtue. They have known him time out of mind, and there is

nothing they wouldn’t do for him. Somehow, they don’t give him that one

pound ten he stands in need of; but perhaps it is not enough—they want to

do more, and his modesty will not allow it. It is to be remarked of his

trade that it is a very fascinating one. He never leaves it; and those

who are near to him become smitten with a love of it, too, and sooner or

later set up for themselves. He employs a messenger—man, woman, or

child. That messenger is certain ultimately to become an independent

Begging-Letter Writer. His sons and daughters succeed to his calling,

and write begging-letters when he is no more. He throws off the

infection of begging-letter writing, like the contagion of disease. What

Sydney Smith so happily called ‘the dangerous luxury of dishonesty’ is

more tempting, and more catching, it would seem, in this instance than in

any other.

He always belongs to a Corresponding-Society of Begging-Letter Writers.

Any one who will, may ascertain this fact. Give money to-day in

recognition of a begging-letter,—no matter how unlike a common

begging-letter,—and for the next fortnight you will have a rush of such

communications. Steadily refuse to give; and the begging-letters become

Angels’ visits, until the Society is from some cause or other in a dull

way of business, and may as well try you as anybody else. It is of

little use inquiring into the Begging-Letter Writer’s circumstances. He

may be sometimes accidentally found out, as in the case already mentioned

(though that was not the first inquiry made); but apparent misery is

always a part of his trade, and real misery very often is, in the

intervals of spring-lamb and early asparagus. It is naturally an

incident of his dissipated and dishonest life.

That the calling is a successful one, and that large sums of money are

gained by it, must be evident to anybody who reads the Police Reports of

such cases. But, prosecutions are of rare occurrence, relatively to the

extent to which the trade is carried on. The cause of this is to be

found (as no one knows better than the Begging-Letter Writer, for it is a

part of his speculation) in the aversion people feel to exhibit

themselves as having been imposed upon, or as having weakly gratified

their consciences with a lazy, flimsy substitute for the noblest of all

virtues. There is a man at large, at the moment when this paper is

preparing for the press (on the 29th of April, 1850), and never once

taken up yet, who, within these twelvemonths, has been probably the most

audacious and the most successful swindler that even this trade has ever

known. There has been something singularly base in this fellow’s

proceedings; it has been his business to write to all sorts and

conditions of people, in the names of persons of high reputation and

unblemished honour, professing to be in distress—the general admiration

and respect for whom has ensured a ready and generous reply.

Now, in the hope that the results of the real experience of a real person

may do something more to induce reflection on this subject than any

abstract treatise—and with a personal knowledge of the extent to which

the Begging-Letter Trade has been carried on for some time, and has been

for some time constantly increasing—the writer of this paper entreats the

attention of his readers to a few concluding words. His experience is a

type of the experience of many; some on a smaller, some on an infinitely

larger scale. All may judge of the soundness or unsoundness of his

conclusions from it.

Long doubtful of the efficacy of such assistance in any case whatever,

and able to recall but one, within his whole individual knowledge, in

which he had the least after-reason to suppose that any good was done by

it, he was led, last autumn, into some serious considerations. The

begging-letters flying about by every post, made it perfectly manifest

that a set of lazy vagabonds were interposed between the general desire

to do something to relieve the sickness and misery under which the poor

were suffering, and the suffering poor themselves. That many who sought

to do some little to repair the social wrongs, inflicted in the way of

preventible sickness and death upon the poor, were strengthening those

wrongs, however innocently, by wasting money on pestilent knaves

cumbering society. That imagination,—soberly following one of these

knaves into his life of punishment in jail, and comparing it with the

life of one of these poor in a cholera-stricken alley, or one of the

children of one of these poor, soothed in its dying hour by the late

lamented Mr. Drouet,—contemplated a grim farce, impossible to be

presented very much longer before God or man. That the crowning miracle

of all the miracles summed up in the New Testament, after the miracle of

the blind seeing, and the lame walking, and the restoration of the dead

to life, was the miracle that the poor had the Gospel preached to them.

That while the poor were unnaturally and unnecessarily cut off by the

thousand, in the prematurity of their age, or in the rottenness of their

youth—for of flower or blossom such youth has none—the Gospel was NOT

preached to them, saving in hollow and unmeaning voices. That of all

wrongs, this was the first mighty wrong the Pestilence warned us to set

right. And that no Post-Office Order to any amount, given to a

Begging-Letter Writer for the quieting of an uneasy breast, would be

presentable on the Last Great Day as anything towards it.

The poor never write these letters. Nothing could be more unlike their

habits. The writers are public robbers; and we who support them are

parties to their depredations. They trade upon every circumstance within

their knowledge that affects us, public or private, joyful or sorrowful;

they pervert the lessons of our lives; they change what ought to be our

strength and virtue into weakness, and encouragement of vice. There is a

plain remedy, and it is in our own hands. We must resolve, at any

sacrifice of feeling, to be deaf to such appeals, and crush the trade.

There are degrees in murder. Life must be held sacred among us in more

ways than one—sacred, not merely from the murderous weapon, or the subtle

poison, or the cruel blow, but sacred from preventible diseases,

distortions, and pains. That is the first great end we have to set

against this miserable imposition. Physical life respected, moral life

comes next. What will not content a Begging-Letter Writer for a week,

would educate a score of children for a year. Let us give all we can;

let us give more than ever. Let us do all we can; let us do more than

ever. But let us give, and do, with a high purpose; not to endow the

scum of the earth, to its own greater corruption, with the offals of our

duty.

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