XXXVI

There was a garden out in the suburbs; a small, leafy corner, with a

few green tables under the orange trees. An old cat slept all day on

the stone step in the sun, and an old _mulatresse_ slept her idle hours

away in her chair at the open window, till some one happened to knock

on one of the green tables. She had milk and cream cheese to sell, and

bread and butter. There was no one who could make such excellent coffee

or fry a chicken so golden brown as she.

The place was too modest to attract the attention of people of fashion,

and so quiet as to have escaped the notice of those in search of

pleasure and dissipation. Edna had discovered it accidentally one day

when the high-board gate stood ajar. She caught sight of a little green

table, blotched with the checkered sunlight that filtered through the

quivering leaves overhead. Within she had found the slumbering

_mulatresse_, the drowsy cat, and a glass of milk which reminded her of

the milk she had tasted in Iberville.

She often stopped there during her perambulations; sometimes taking a

book with her, and sitting an hour or two under the trees when she

found the place deserted. Once or twice she took a quiet dinner there

alone, having instructed Celestine beforehand to prepare no dinner at

home. It was the last place in the city where she would have expected

to meet any one she knew.

Still she was not astonished when, as she was partaking of a modest

dinner late in the afternoon, looking into an open book, stroking the

cat, which had made friends with her—she was not greatly astonished to

see Robert come in at the tall garden gate.

“I am destined to see you only by accident,” she said, shoving the cat

off the chair beside her. He was surprised, ill at ease, almost

embarrassed at meeting her thus so unexpectedly.

“Do you come here often?” he asked.

“I almost live here,” she said.

“I used to drop in very often for a cup of Catiche’s good coffee. This

is the first time since I came back.”

“She’ll bring you a plate, and you will share my dinner. There’s always

enough for two—even three.” Edna had intended to be indifferent and as

reserved as he when she met him; she had reached the determination by a

laborious train of reasoning, incident to one of her despondent moods.

But her resolve melted when she saw him before designing Providence had

led him into her path.

“Why have you kept away from me, Robert?” she asked, closing the book

that lay open upon the table.

“Why are you so personal, Mrs. Pontellier? Why do you force me to

idiotic subterfuges?” he exclaimed with sudden warmth. “I suppose

there’s no use telling you I’ve been very busy, or that I’ve been sick,

or that I’ve been to see you and not found you at home. Please let me

off with any one of these excuses.”

“You are the embodiment of selfishness,” she said. “You save yourself

something—I don’t know what—but there is some selfish motive, and in

sparing yourself you never consider for a moment what I think, or how I

feel your neglect and indifference. I suppose this is what you would

call unwomanly; but I have got into a habit of expressing myself. It

doesn’t matter to me, and you may think me unwomanly if you like.”

“No; I only think you cruel, as I said the other day. Maybe not

intentionally cruel; but you seem to be forcing me into disclosures

which can result in nothing; as if you would have me bare a wound for

the pleasure of looking at it, without the intention or power of

healing it.”

“I’m spoiling your dinner, Robert; never mind what I say. You haven’t

eaten a morsel.”

“I only came in for a cup of coffee.” His sensitive face was all

disfigured with excitement.

“Isn’t this a delightful place?” she remarked. “I am so glad it has

never actually been discovered. It is so quiet, so sweet, here. Do you

notice there is scarcely a sound to be heard? It’s so out of the way;

and a good walk from the car. However, I don’t mind walking. I always

feel so sorry for women who don’t like to walk; they miss so much—so

many rare little glimpses of life; and we women learn so little of life

on the whole.

“Catiche’s coffee is always hot. I don’t know how she manages it, here

in the open air. Celestine’s coffee gets cold bringing it from the

kitchen to the dining-room. Three lumps! How can you drink it so sweet?

Take some of the cress with your chop; it’s so biting and crisp. Then

there’s the advantage of being able to smoke with your coffee out here.

Now, in the city—aren’t you going to smoke?”

“After a while,” he said, laying a cigar on the table.

“Who gave it to you?” she laughed.

“I bought it. I suppose I’m getting reckless; I bought a whole box.”

She was determined not to be personal again and make him uncomfortable.

The cat made friends with him, and climbed into his lap when he smoked

his cigar. He stroked her silky fur, and talked a little about her. He

looked at Edna’s book, which he had read; and he told her the end, to

save her the trouble of wading through it, he said.

Again he accompanied her back to her home; and it was after dusk when

they reached the little “pigeon-house.” She did not ask him to remain,

which he was grateful for, as it permitted him to stay without the

discomfort of blundering through an excuse which he had no intention of

considering. He helped her to light the lamp; then she went into her

room to take off her hat and to bathe her face and hands.

When she came back Robert was not examining the pictures and magazines

as before; he sat off in the shadow, leaning his head back on the chair

as if in a reverie. Edna lingered a moment beside the table, arranging

the books there. Then she went across the room to where he sat. She

bent over the arm of his chair and called his name.

“Robert,” she said, “are you asleep?”

“No,” he answered, looking up at her.

She leaned over and kissed him—a soft, cool, delicate kiss, whose

voluptuous sting penetrated his whole being—then she moved away from

him. He followed, and took her in his arms, just holding her close to

him. She put her hand up to his face and pressed his cheek against her

own. The action was full of love and tenderness. He sought her lips

again. Then he drew her down upon the sofa beside him and held her hand

in both of his.

“Now you know,” he said, “now you know what I have been fighting

against since last summer at Grand Isle; what drove me away and drove

me back again.”

“Why have you been fighting against it?” she asked. Her face glowed

with soft lights.

“Why? Because you were not free; you were Léonce Pontellier’s wife. I

couldn’t help loving you if you were ten times his wife; but so long as

I went away from you and kept away I could help telling you so.” She

put her free hand up to his shoulder, and then against his cheek,

rubbing it softly. He kissed her again. His face was warm and flushed.

“There in Mexico I was thinking of you all the time, and longing for

you.”

“But not writing to me,” she interrupted.

“Something put into my head that you cared for me; and I lost my

senses. I forgot everything but a wild dream of your some way becoming

my wife.”

“Your wife!”

“Religion, loyalty, everything would give way if only you cared.”

“Then you must have forgotten that I was Léonce Pontellier’s wife.”

“Oh! I was demented, dreaming of wild, impossible things, recalling men

who had set their wives free, we have heard of such things.”

“Yes, we have heard of such things.”

“I came back full of vague, mad intentions. And when I got here—”

“When you got here you never came near me!” She was still caressing his

cheek.

“I realized what a cur I was to dream of such a thing, even if you had

been willing.”

She took his face between her hands and looked into it as if she would

never withdraw her eyes more. She kissed him on the forehead, the eyes,

the cheeks, and the lips.

“You have been a very, very foolish boy, wasting your time dreaming of

impossible things when you speak of Mr. Pontellier setting me free! I

am no longer one of Mr. Pontellier’s possessions to dispose of or not.

I give myself where I choose. If he were to say, ‘Here, Robert, take

her and be happy; she is yours,’ I should laugh at you both.”

His face grew a little white. “What do you mean?” he asked.

There was a knock at the door. Old Celestine came in to say that Madame

Ratignolle’s servant had come around the back way with a message that

Madame had been taken sick and begged Mrs. Pontellier to go to her

immediately.

“Yes, yes,” said Edna, rising; “I promised. Tell her yes—to wait for

me. I’ll go back with her.”

“Let me walk over with you,” offered Robert.

“No,” she said; “I will go with the servant.” She went into her room to

put on her hat, and when she came in again she sat once more upon the

sofa beside him. He had not stirred. She put her arms about his neck.

“Good-by, my sweet Robert. Tell me good-by.” He kissed her with a

degree of passion which had not before entered into his caress, and

strained her to him.

“I love you,” she whispered, “only you; no one but you. It was you who

awoke me last summer out of a life-long, stupid dream. Oh! you have

made me so unhappy with your indifference. Oh! I have suffered,

suffered! Now you are here we shall love each other, my Robert. We

shall be everything to each other. Nothing else in the world is of any

consequence. I must go to my friend; but you will wait for me? No

matter how late; you will wait for me, Robert?”

“Don’t go; don’t go! Oh! Edna, stay with me,” he pleaded. “Why should

you go? Stay with me, stay with me.”

“I shall come back as soon as I can; I shall find you here.” She buried

her face in his neck, and said good-by again. Her seductive voice,

together with his great love for her, had enthralled his senses, had

deprived him of every impulse but the longing to hold her and keep her.

The Awakening, and Selected Short Stories · 第 41 / 56 题