XVI

“Do you miss your friend greatly?” asked Mademoiselle Reisz one morning

as she came creeping up behind Edna, who had just left her cottage on

her way to the beach. She spent much of her time in the water since she

had acquired finally the art of swimming. As their stay at Grand Isle

drew near its close, she felt that she could not give too much time to

a diversion which afforded her the only real pleasurable moments that

she knew. When Mademoiselle Reisz came and touched her upon the

shoulder and spoke to her, the woman seemed to echo the thought which

was ever in Edna’s mind; or, better, the feeling which constantly

possessed her.

Robert’s going had some way taken the brightness, the color, the

meaning out of everything. The conditions of her life were in no way

changed, but her whole existence was dulled, like a faded garment which

seems to be no longer worth wearing. She sought him everywhere—in

others whom she induced to talk about him. She went up in the mornings

to Madame Lebrun’s room, braving the clatter of the old sewing-machine.

She sat there and chatted at intervals as Robert had done. She gazed

around the room at the pictures and photographs hanging upon the wall,

and discovered in some corner an old family album, which she examined

with the keenest interest, appealing to Madame Lebrun for enlightenment

concerning the many figures and faces which she discovered between its

pages.

There was a picture of Madame Lebrun with Robert as a baby, seated in

her lap, a round-faced infant with a fist in his mouth. The eyes alone

in the baby suggested the man. And that was he also in kilts, at the

age of five, wearing long curls and holding a whip in his hand. It made

Edna laugh, and she laughed, too, at the portrait in his first long

trousers; while another interested her, taken when he left for college,

looking thin, long-faced, with eyes full of fire, ambition and great

intentions. But there was no recent picture, none which suggested the

Robert who had gone away five days ago, leaving a void and wilderness

behind him.

“Oh, Robert stopped having his pictures taken when he had to pay for

them himself! He found wiser use for his money, he says,” explained

Madame Lebrun. She had a letter from him, written before he left New

Orleans. Edna wished to see the letter, and Madame Lebrun told her to

look for it either on the table or the dresser, or perhaps it was on

the mantelpiece.

The letter was on the bookshelf. It possessed the greatest interest and

attraction for Edna; the envelope, its size and shape, the post-mark,

the handwriting. She examined every detail of the outside before

opening it. There were only a few lines, setting forth that he would

leave the city that afternoon, that he had packed his trunk in good

shape, that he was well, and sent her his love and begged to be

affectionately remembered to all. There was no special message to Edna

except a postscript saying that if Mrs. Pontellier desired to finish

the book which he had been reading to her, his mother would find it in

his room, among other books there on the table. Edna experienced a pang

of jealousy because he had written to his mother rather than to her.

Every one seemed to take for granted that she missed him. Even her

husband, when he came down the Saturday following Robert’s departure,

expressed regret that he had gone.

“How do you get on without him, Edna?” he asked.

“It’s very dull without him,” she admitted. Mr. Pontellier had seen

Robert in the city, and Edna asked him a dozen questions or more. Where

had they met? On Carondelet Street, in the morning. They had gone “in”

and had a drink and a cigar together. What had they talked about?

Chiefly about his prospects in Mexico, which Mr. Pontellier thought

were promising. How did he look? How did he seem—grave, or gay, or how?

Quite cheerful, and wholly taken up with the idea of his trip, which

Mr. Pontellier found altogether natural in a young fellow about to seek

fortune and adventure in a strange, queer country.

Edna tapped her foot impatiently, and wondered why the children

persisted in playing in the sun when they might be under the trees. She

went down and led them out of the sun, scolding the quadroon for not

being more attentive.

It did not strike her as in the least grotesque that she should be

making of Robert the object of conversation and leading her husband to

speak of him. The sentiment which she entertained for Robert in no way

resembled that which she felt for her husband, or had ever felt, or

ever expected to feel. She had all her life long been accustomed to

harbor thoughts and emotions which never voiced themselves. They had

never taken the form of struggles. They belonged to her and were her

own, and she entertained the conviction that she had a right to them

and that they concerned no one but herself. Edna had once told Madame

Ratignolle that she would never sacrifice herself for her children, or

for any one. Then had followed a rather heated argument; the two women

did not appear to understand each other or to be talking the same

language. Edna tried to appease her friend, to explain.

“I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give

my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself. I can’t make it

more clear; it’s only something which I am beginning to comprehend,

which is revealing itself to me.”

“I don’t know what you would call the essential, or what you mean by

the unessential,” said Madame Ratignolle, cheerfully; “but a woman who

would give her life for her children could do no more than that—your

Bible tells you so. I’m sure I couldn’t do more than that.”

“Oh, yes you could!” laughed Edna.

She was not surprised at Mademoiselle Reisz’s question the morning that

lady, following her to the beach, tapped her on the shoulder and asked

if she did not greatly miss her young friend.

“Oh, good morning, Mademoiselle; is it you? Why, of course I miss

Robert. Are you going down to bathe?”

“Why should I go down to bathe at the very end of the season when I

haven’t been in the surf all summer,” replied the woman, disagreeably.

“I beg your pardon,” offered Edna, in some embarrassment, for she

should have remembered that Mademoiselle Reisz’s avoidance of the water

had furnished a theme for much pleasantry. Some among them thought it

was on account of her false hair, or the dread of getting the violets

wet, while others attributed it to the natural aversion for water

sometimes believed to accompany the artistic temperament. Mademoiselle

offered Edna some chocolates in a paper bag, which she took from her

pocket, by way of showing that she bore no ill feeling. She habitually

ate chocolates for their sustaining quality; they contained much

nutriment in small compass, she said. They saved her from starvation,

as Madame Lebrun’s table was utterly impossible; and no one save so

impertinent a woman as Madame Lebrun could think of offering such food

to people and requiring them to pay for it.

“She must feel very lonely without her son,” said Edna, desiring to

change the subject. “Her favorite son, too. It must have been quite

hard to let him go.”

Mademoiselle laughed maliciously.

“Her favorite son! Oh, dear! Who could have been imposing such a tale

upon you? Aline Lebrun lives for Victor, and for Victor alone. She has

spoiled him into the worthless creature he is. She worships him and the

ground he walks on. Robert is very well in a way, to give up all the

money he can earn to the family, and keep the barest pittance for

himself. Favorite son, indeed! I miss the poor fellow myself, my dear.

I liked to see him and to hear him about the place—the only Lebrun who

is worth a pinch of salt. He comes to see me often in the city. I like

to play to him. That Victor! hanging would be too good for him. It’s a

wonder Robert hasn’t beaten him to death long ago.”

“I thought he had great patience with his brother,” offered Edna, glad

to be talking about Robert, no matter what was said.

“Oh! he thrashed him well enough a year or two ago,” said Mademoiselle.

“It was about a Spanish girl, whom Victor considered that he had some

sort of claim upon. He met Robert one day talking to the girl, or

walking with her, or bathing with her, or carrying her basket—I don’t

remember what;—and he became so insulting and abusive that Robert gave

him a thrashing on the spot that has kept him comparatively in order

for a good while. It’s about time he was getting another.”

“Was her name Mariequita?” asked Edna.

“Mariequita—yes, that was it; Mariequita. I had forgotten. Oh, she’s a

sly one, and a bad one, that Mariequita!”

Edna looked down at Mademoiselle Reisz and wondered how she could have

listened to her venom so long. For some reason she felt depressed,

almost unhappy. She had not intended to go into the water; but she

donned her bathing suit, and left Mademoiselle alone, seated under the

shade of the children’s tent. The water was growing cooler as the

season advanced. Edna plunged and swam about with an abandon that

thrilled and invigorated her. She remained a long time in the water,

half hoping that Mademoiselle Reisz would not wait for her.

But Mademoiselle waited. She was very amiable during the walk back, and

raved much over Edna’s appearance in her bathing suit. She talked about

music. She hoped that Edna would go to see her in the city, and wrote

her address with the stub of a pencil on a piece of card which she

found in her pocket.

“When do you leave?” asked Edna.

“Next Monday; and you?”

“The following week,” answered Edna, adding, “It has been a pleasant

summer, hasn’t it, Mademoiselle?”

“Well,” agreed Mademoiselle Reisz, with a shrug, “rather pleasant, if

it hadn’t been for the mosquitoes and the Farival twins.”

The Awakening, and Selected Short Stories · 第 21 / 56 题