_House of Commons, Monday, December 11._--Remarkable testimony to
catholicity of DICKY TEMPLE'S mind that he should just now have been
talking about Siam. Various other topics to the fore. The Featherstone
inquiry; Matabeleland, in which the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE takes
unfaltering interest; Betterment, and, incidentally, the Parish
Councils Bill. Only TEMPLE thinks of remote, unfriended, solitary
Siam. Wants to know when papers including most recent correspondence
will be published? EDWARD GREY taken at a disadvantage. Wasn't
thinking of Siam. Just been looking up map to find out precise
situation of Kilia mouth of the Danube. CAP'EN TOMMY BOWLES been, so
to speak, jumping down it. Suspects the CZAR of iniquitous intention
in this part of the world. CZAR evidently thought the CAP'EN, being
intent on the education of MUNDELLA in nautical affairs, would not
have time to keep an eye on the Kilia mouth of the Danube. CZAR knows
better now. So does EDWARD GREY. Spent quite an interesting quarter
of an hour with the map, and came at last upon this particular outlet.
Just congratulating himself that, as a rule, British rivers have only
one mouth, when TEMPLE sprang Siam upon him.
"Do you know," said Member for Sark, looking admiringly at the great
historiographer of Parliament, "I never see TEMPLE on his legs but
I think of OVID'S epitaph on the parrot. You remember how it runs in
English?--
'I please the fair. So much this stone doth tell.
What more? I talked, and, for a bird, talked well.'
"I have a theory, which, if you had time, I would illustrate by
half-a-dozen examples taken on glancing round the House, that three
out of five human faces have a strong resemblance to some particular
bird. Not that I mean to say TEMPLE'S like a parrot, except of course
inasmuch as he pleases the fair. He is a man of tireless industry,
sound judgment, wide knowledge of affairs and has, withal, an
old-fashioned courtesy of manner not too common in these days. Still,
as I say, when I watch him addressing the SPEAKER the parrot's epitaph
haunts my memory."
_Business done._--Clause XIII added to Parish Councils Bill.
_Tuesday._--To-night DON'T KEIR HARDIE, having left hands and face
unwashed for an extra day, his hair uncombed for an added week, put
on his worst Sunday suit and presented himself to House as model
working-man, champion of the unemployed. DON'T KEIR'S misfortune is
that he has not succeeded in recommending himself to good opinion
of other Labour Members. When he moves in House they move off;
consequence is he is left to support of aristocrats above the gangway.
They don't particularly admire DON'T KEIR, his ways or his cause. But,
as TOMLINSON says, under impression he is quoting from SYDNEY
SMITH, "any stick will do to beat a dog with." If DON'T KEIR moves
Adjournment, and best part of night can be taken for making speeches,
so much delay is interposed in way of Parish Councils Bill, and by so
much is chance bettered of Government failing in their intention of
passing the whole Bill. Therefore, though other Labour candidates will
have nothing to do with DON'T KEIR, there are four hours talk, an odd
quarter of an hour added for a division, and thirty-three Members,
chiefly belonging to the Gentlemen of England, going into Lobby with
the Leader whom ROWLANDS distantly alludes to as "The hon. Member for
West 'Am," cunningly conveying by inflection of voice the impression
that the cut is from a hopelessly inferior part.
Debate, on the whole, patchy, with hopeless air of unreality about
it. Nevertheless, worth having, if it were only for speech of PRINCE
ARTHUR. A scholarly philosophic deliverance, striking unaccustomed
note in Parliamentary debate. Pity Mr. G. wasn't there to hear it.
Or perhaps it isn't a pity. If he had been, he would have found the
temptation to reply irresistible; at least another half hour would
have been wasted.
_Business done._--Reached Clause XVI. Parish Councils Bill.
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[Illustration: LIKA JOKO'S JOTTINGS.--No. 6. A FOOTBALL MATCH.]
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_Thursday._--Spirits of good Ministerialists a little damped by
persistent and successful tactics of Opposition. As JESSE COLLINGS
said just now, with tears in his eyes, they are anxious, above all
things, to see Parish Councils Bill added to Statute Book. Only they
won't let it pass. Twentieth night in Committee; still not half way
through Bill as Clauses count. Been sitting on Saturdays; shall have
Christmas holidays cut down to 25th and Boxing Day; then begin
again, with prospect of more drudgery, and, when Bill through, and
prorogation possible, the new Session of 1894, young, fresh, and
lusty, waiting to be waltzed with. An infant in arms, looking in on
House from peep-hole by glass door, and finding TAY PAY on his legs
denouncing the Opposition, is deeply impressed.
[Illustration: Tay Pay frightens the Child.]
Later, at period of apparent collapse HALDANE happily appears on
scene. Not a man habitually prone to enthusiasm. No sign on his placid
visage of storm-swept soul. Circumstances sometimes stronger than man.
To-day they break away the icy barriers of lethargic habit. HALDANE,
unexpectedly rising from behind the harassed PREMIER, calls upon
him to stand firm, resisting all temptations to surrender. "Stage of
situation reached," he said, amid ringing cheers, "when we should
not halt, much less retire, but should press forward to the goal.
Ministers," he added, sternly regarding back of SQUIRE OF MALWOOD'S
head, "would be betraying their trust if they flinched by one hair's
breadth from the declarations they have made."
His clarion voice cleared air of doubt and perplexity. Ministerialists
elate; Opposition correspondingly cowed; the way quite clear now for
victory; only sit tight; to importunity present imperturbability; let
Opposition once know that, thanks to fidelity and self-sacrifice of
Liberal Members, House will sit till Bill is passed, and obstruction
will collapse.
HALDANE had saved the citadel; the rout of the besiegers only a matter
of time.
An hour later WALTER LONG got up and mentioned interesting
circumstance that HALDANE, whilst thus heroically inciting Ministers
and the rest to hold on, had made arrangements whereby he himself
would agreeably spend Christmastide in comfortable country quarters;
had even extended his holiday up to 10th of January, when resumption
of sittings of court would bring him back to town for private
business. Many inquiries on Ministerial benches for HALDANE. Seemed
to be general desire to say something to him. But he had judiciously
retired from scene.
_Business done._--Another motion for Adjournment. In smaller half
of sitting left for business, Clause XVIII. of Parish Councils Bill
reached.
_Friday._--Everyone grieved to hear that SPEAKER has temporarily lost
use of voice. Been absent from Chair since Tuesday. "How inscrutable
are the ways of Providence," says the Member for Sark. "There are
so many quarters of the House where the outbreak of such an epidemic
would be a public service. Yet these escape, and only the Chair is
attacked."
[Illustration: Sir Richard Parrot.]
The House can ill spare the SPEAKER, even for a day. The whole
atmosphere of the place, the tone of debate, are altered when his
stately presence and commanding influence are withdrawn. Still, talk
must go on, and there has been no lack of it to-night. But everyone
is wearied to death of the monotony and reiteration. As PRINCE ARTHUR
says in a moment of confidence, "If it were the only alternative, one
would rather have a parish funeral than another Parish Councils Bill."
_Business done._--Nothing worth speaking of.
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