(_The Up-to-date Version._)
Oh! pity the lot of a harassed Lord Chancellor,
Suffering badly from too much to do.
Appointments to give, and appointments to cancel or
Magistrate making, not knowing who's who.
Work of a quantity highly distressing,
Jack-like it's dull with all work and no play.
I start in the morning when hurriedly dressing.
And stick to it then for full twelve hours a day.
Selecting with care and the utmost propriety,
I wade through long lists of the would-be J.P.'s,
Who wish to be benched for the sake of Society,
Till I sigh for repose and a quantum of ease.
It's hard--ANANIAS would hardly deny it,
After all it's £10 000 a year at the most.
Resignation's a virtue. I'm minded to try it;
A chance for some aspirants--who's for the post?
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MOTTO FOR EDITORS OF VERY-LATEST-NEWS-EVENING-JOURNALS (_hard up far a
paragraph_).--"When in doubt play JABEZ BALFOUR."
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MRS. R. ON THE DYNAMITE OUTRAGE IN THE FRENCH CHAMBER.--"Hanging's too
good for such a scoundrel," said Mrs. R., indignantly; "but they don't
hang in France, so the wretch will be taken and gelatined."
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[Illustration: THE WERE-WOLF OF ANARCHY.]
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[Illustration: "BUSINESS FIRST."
_Favourite Son of M.F.H. (to old Huntsman)._ "NO, SMITH, YOU WON'T SEE
MUCH MORE OF ME FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON; IF AT ALL."
_Smith (with some concern)._ "INDEED, SIR. 'OW'S THAT?"
_Son of M.F.H._ "WELL, YOU SEE I'M READING HARD."
_Smith (interrogatively)._ "READIN' 'ARD, SIR?"
_Son of M.F.H._ "YES, I'M READING LAW."
_Smith._ "WELL, I LIKES TO READ A BIT O' THEM PERLICE REPORTS MYSELF,
SIR, NOW AN' THEN; BUT I DON'T ALLOW 'EM TO HINTERFERE WITH A HONEST
DAYS 'UNTIN'."]
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