(_Garnered from the catalogue of the George Washington Seed Company._)
"_Adonis_."--Strikingly handsome oval tuber of the fashionable nigger-brown
shade. Never had a day's illness. Every "Adonis" potato is inoculated for
wireworm before leaving our grounds.
"_Automatic._"--Remarkable novelty; digs itself in, and jumps out of the
ground when ready. Self-peeling; skin comes off in the saucepan. Immense
boon to busy housewives.
"_Little Gem."_--For window-boxes. Flowers closely resemble Odontoglossum.
Much in demand for Mayfair mansions. Dainty electro-plated trowel given
away with every order for a hundred-weight.
The "_Beanato_."--Sensational discovery; the result of a cross between an
Early Rose potato and a scarlet-runner. Will take the place of ramblers on
pergolas. Blooms brilliantly all the summer; festoons of khaki fruit with
green facings in the autumn. Retains the lusciousness of the bean with the
full floury flavour of the tuber.
"_Argus_."--The potato with a hundred eyes. Never sprouts in less than
ninety-eight places. Should be put through the mincing-machine before
planting.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "LOOK HERE, MISS! YOU'VE TAKEN A BIT OUT OF MY EAR!"
"SORRY, SIR; BUT, YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN ON THE DISTRICT RAILWAY FOR THE LAST
THREE MONTHS PUNCHING TICKETS."]
* * * * *
War-Work.
"LADY.--Will any lady exercise a terrier (good-tempered), daily, for a
small remuneration?"--_Bournmouth Daily Echo_.
* * * * *
Kilties Dumbfounded.