'Er--I shouldn't go in just now,' I said. 'Not just now, while he's
working, if you don't mind. These fellows can't bear to be disturbed
when they're at work. It's the artistic temperament. I'll tell him
later.'
'Very well. Ask him to call at Pine Bungalow. Vickers is the name....
Oh, he seems to have stopped. I suppose he will be out in a minute now.
I'll wait.'
'Don't you think--shouldn't you be getting on to the beach?' I said.
She had started talking to the kid and didn't hear. She was feeling in
her bag for something.
'The beach,' I babbled.
'See what I've got for you, baby,' said the girl. 'I thought I might
meet you somewhere, so I bought some of your favourite sweets.'
And, by Jove, she held up in front of the kid's bulging eyes, a chunk
of toffee about the size of the Albert Memorial!
That finished it. We had just been having a long rehearsal, and the kid
was all worked up in his part. He got it right first time.
'Kiss Fweddie!' he shouted.
And the French windows opened and Freddie came out on to the veranda,
for all the world as if he had been taking a cue.
'Kiss Fweddie!' shrieked the child.
Freddie looked at the girl, and the girl looked at him. I looked at the
ground, and the kid looked at the toffee.
'Kiss Fweddie!' he yelled. 'Kiss Fweddie!'
'What does this mean?' said the girl, turning on me.
'You'd better give it him,' I said. 'He'll go on till you do, you know.'
She gave the kid the toffee and he subsided. Freddie, poor ass, still
stood there gaping, without a word.
'What does it mean?' said the girl again. Her face was pink, and her
eyes were sparkling in the sort of way, don't you know, that makes a
fellow feel as if he hadn't any bones in him, if you know what I mean.
Yes, Bertram felt filleted. Did you ever tread on your partner's dress
at a dance--I'm speaking now of the days when women wore dresses long
enough to be trodden on--and hear it rip and see her smile at you like
an angel and say, '_Please_ don't apologize. It's nothing,' and then
suddenly meet her clear blue eyes and feel as if you had stepped on the
teeth of a rake and had the handle jump up and hit you in the face?
Well, that's how Freddie's Elizabeth looked.
'_Well!_' she said, and her teeth gave a little click.
I gulped. Then I said it was nothing. Then I said it was nothing much.
Then I said, 'Oh, well, it was this way.' And I told her all about it.
And all the while Idiot Freddie stood there gaping, without a word. Not
one solitary yip had he let out of himself from the start.
And the girl didn't speak, either. She just stood listening.
And then she began to laugh. I never heard a girl laugh so much. She
leaned against the side of the veranda and shrieked. And all the while
Freddie, the World's Champion Dumb Brick, standing there, saying
nothing.
Well, I finished my story and sidled to the steps. I had said all I
had to say, and it seemed to me that about here the stage-direction
'exit cautiously' was written in my part. I gave poor old Freddie up in
despair. If only he had said a word it might have been all right. But
there he stood speechless.
Just out of sight of the house I met Jeeves, returning from his stroll.
'Jeeves,' I said, 'all is over. The thing's finished. Poor dear old
Freddie has made a complete ass of himself and killed the whole show.'
'Indeed, sir? What has actually happened?'