“‘Only these sort o’ things,’ ses Miss Mallow, bashfully.
“‘And send Dowsett to me,’ ses the skipper, turning to me agin.
“We ’ad to shove pore Bill up on deck a’most, and the way the skipper
went on at ’im, you’d thought ’e was the greatest rascal unhung. He
begged the young lady’s pardon over and over agin, and when ’e come
back to us ’e was that upset that ’e didn’t know what ’e was saying,
and begged an ordinary seaman’s pardon for treading on ’is toe.
“Then the skipper took Miss Mallow below to her new quarters, and to
’is great surprise caught the third officer, who was fond of female
society, doing a step-dance in the saloon all on ’is own.
“That evening the skipper and the mate formed themselves into a
committee to decide what was to be done. Everything the mate suggested
the skipper wouldn’t have, and when the skipper thought of anythink,
the mate said it was impossible. After the committee ’ad been sitting
for three hours it began to abuse each other; leastaways, the skipper
abused the mate, and the mate kep’ on saying if it wasn’t for
discipline he knew somebody as would tell the skipper a thing or two it
would do ’im good to hear.
“‘She must have a dress, I tell you, or a frock at any rate,’ ses the
skipper, very mad.
“‘What’s the difference between a dress and a frock?’ ses the mate.
“‘There is a difference,’ ses the skipper.
“‘Well, what is it?’ ses the mate.
“‘It wouldn’t be any good if I was to explain to you,’ ses the skipper;
‘some people’s heads are too thick.’
“‘I know they are,’ ses the mate.
“The committee broke up after that, but it got amiable agin over
breakfast next morning, and made quite a fuss over Miss Mallow. It was
wonderful what a difference a night aft had made in that gal. She’d
washed herself beautiful, and had just frizzed ’er ’air, which was
rather long, over ’er forehead, and the committee kept pursing its lips
up and looking at each other as Mr. Fisher talked to ’er and kep’ on
piling ’er plate up.
“She went up on deck after breakfast and stood leaning against the side
talking to Mr. Fisher. Pretty laugh she’d got, too, though I never
noticed it when she was in the fo’c’s’le. Perhaps she hadn’t got much
to laugh about then; and while she was up there enjoying ’erself
watching us chaps work, the committee was down below laying its ’eads
together agin.
“When I went down to the cabin agin it was like a dressmaker’s shop.
There was silk handkerchiefs and all sorts o’ things on the table, an’
the skipper was hovering about with a big pair of scissors in his
hands, wondering how to begin.
“‘I shan’t attempt anything very grand,’ he ses, at last; ‘just
something to slip over them boy’s clothes she’s wearing.’
“The mate didn’t say anything. He was busy drawing frocks on a little
piece of paper, and looking at ’em with his ’ead on one side to see
whether they looked better that way.
“‘By Jove! I’ve got it,’ ses the old man, suddenly. ‘Where’s that
dressing-gown your wife gave you?’
“The mate looked up. ‘I don’t know,’ he ses, slowly. ‘I’ve mislaid it.’
“‘Well, it can’t be far,’ ses the skipper. ‘It’s just the thing to make
a frock of.’
“‘I don’t think so,’ ses the mate. ‘It wouldn’t hang properly. Do you
know what I was thinking of?’
“‘Well,’ ses the skipper.
“‘Three o’ them new flannel shirts o’ yours,’ ses the mate. ‘They’re
very dark, an’ they’d hang beautiful.’
“‘Let’s try the dressing-gown fust,’ ses the skipper, hearty-like.
‘That’s easier. I’ll help you look for it.’
“‘I can’t think what I’ve done with it,’ ses the mate.
“‘Well, let’s try your cabin,’ ses the old man.
“They went to the mate’s cabin and, to his great surprise, there it was
hanging just behind the door. It was a beautiful dressing-gown—soft,
warm cloth trimmed with braid—and the skipper took up his scissors
agin, and fairly gloated over it. Then he slowly cut off the top part
with the two arms ’anging to it, and passed it over to the mate.
“‘I shan’t want that, Mr. Jackson,’ he ses, slowly. ‘I dare say you’ll
find it come in useful.’
“‘While you’re doing that, s’pose I get on with them three shirts,’ ses
Mr. Jackson.
“‘What three shirts?’ ses the skipper, who was busy cutting buttons
off.
“‘Why, yours,’ ses Mr. Jackson. ‘Let’s see who can make the best
frock.’
“‘No, Mr. Jackson,’ ses the old man. ‘I’m sure you couldn’t make
anything o’ them shirts. You’re not at all gifted that way. Besides, I
want ’em.’
“‘Well, I wanted my dressing-gown, if you come to that,’ ses the mate,
in a sulky voice.
“‘Well, what on earth did you give it to me for?’ ses the skipper. ‘I
do wish you’d know your own mind, Mr. Jackson.’
“The mate didn’t say any more. He sat and watched the old man, as he
threaded his needle and stitched the dressing-gown together down the
front. It really didn’t look half bad when he’d finished it, and it was
easy to see how pleased Miss Mallow was. She really looked quite fine
in it, and with the blue guernsey she was wearing and a band made o’
silk handkerchiefs round her waist, I saw at once it was a case with
the third officer.
“‘Now you look a bit more like the gal your father used to know,’ ses
the skipper. ‘My finger’s a bit sore just at present, but by and by
I’ll make you a bonnet.’
“‘I’d like to see it,’ ses the mate.
“‘It’s quite easy,’ ses the skipper. ‘I’ve seen my wife do ’em. She
calls ’em tokes. You make the hull out o’ cardboard and spread your
canvas on that.’
“That dress made a wonderful difference in the gal. Wonderful! She
seemed to change all at once and become the lady altogether. She just
’ad that cabin at her beck and call; and as for me, she seemed to think
I was there a puppose to wait on ’er.
“I must say she ’ad a good time of it. We was having splendid weather,
and there wasn’t much work for anybody; consequently, when she wasn’t
receiving good advice from the skipper and the mate, she was receiving
attention from both the second and third officers. Mr. Scott, the
second, didn’t seem to take much notice of her for a day or two, and
the first I saw of his being in love was ’is being very rude to Mr.
Fisher and giving up bad langwidge, so sudden it’s a wonder it didn’t
do ’im a injury.
“I think the gal rather enjoyed their attentions at first, but arter a
time she got fairly tired of it. She never ’ad no rest, pore thing. If
she was up on deck looking over the side the third officer would come
up and talk romantic to ’er about the sea and the lonely lives of
sailor-men, and I acturally ’eard Mr. Scott repeating poetry to her.
The skipper ’eard it too, and being suspicious o’ poetry, and not
having heard clearly, called him up to ’im and made ’im say it all over
agin to ’im. ’E didn’t seem quite to know wot to make of it, so ’e
calls up the mate for ’im to hear it. The mate said it was rubbish, and
the skipper told Mr. Scott that if ever he was taken that way agin ’e’d
’ear more of it.
“There was no doubt about them two young fellers being genuine. She
’appened to say one day that she could never, never care for a man who
drank and smoked, and I’m blest if both of ’em didn’t give ’er their
pipes to chuck overboard, and the agony those two chaps used to suffer
when they saw other people smoking was pitiful to witness.
“It got to such a pitch at last that the mate, who, as I said afore,
was a very particular man, called another committee meeting. It was a
very solemn affair, and ’e made a long speech in which he said he was
the father of a family, and that the second and third officers was far
too attentive to Miss Mallow, and ’e asked the skipper to stop it.
“‘How?’ ses the skipper.
“‘Stop the draught-playing and the cardplaying and the poetry,’ ses the
mate; ‘the gal’s getting too much attention; she’ll have ’er ’ead
turned. Put your foot down, sir, and stop it.’
“The skipper was so struck by what he said, that he not only did that,
but he went and forbid them two young men to speak to the gal except at
meal times, or when the conversation was general. None of ’em liked it,
though the gal pretended to, and for the matter of a week things was
very quiet in the cabin, not to say sulky.
“Things got back to their old style agin in a very curious way. I’d
just set the tea in the cabin one afternoon, and ’ad stopped at the
foot of the companion-ladder to let the skipper and Mr. Fisher come
down, when we suddenly ’eard a loud box on the ear. We all rushed into
the cabin at once, and there was the mate looking fairly thunderstruck,
with his hand to his face, and Miss Mallow glaring at ’im.
“‘Mr. Jackson,’ ses the skipper, in a awful voice, ‘what’s this?’
“‘Ask her,’ shouts the mate. ‘I think she’s gone mad or something.’
“‘What does this mean, Miss Mallow?’ ses the skipper.
“‘Ask him,’ ses Miss Mallow, breathing very ’ard.
“‘Mr. Jackson,’ ses the skipper, very severe, ‘what have you been
doing?’
“‘Nothing,’ roars the mate.
“‘Was that a box on the ear I ’eard?’ ses the skipper.
“‘It was,’ ses the mate, grinding his teeth.
“‘Your ear?’ ses the skipper.
“‘Yes. She’s mad, I tell you,’ ses the mate. ‘I was sitting here quite
quiet and peaceable, when she came alongside me and slapped my face.’
“‘Why did you box his ear?’ ses the skipper to the girl again.
“‘Because he deserved it,’ ses Miss Mallow.
“The skipper shook his ’ead and looked at the mate so sorrowful that he
began to stamp up and down the cabin and bang the table with his fist.
“‘If I hadn’t heard it myself, I couldn’t have believed it,’ ses the
skipper; ‘and you the father of a family, too. Nice example for the
young men, I must say.’
“‘Please don’t say anything more about it,’ ses Miss Mallow; ‘I’m sure
he’s very sorry.’
“‘Very good,’ ses the skipper; ‘but you understand, Mr. Jackson, that
if I overlook your conduct, you’re not to speak to this young lady
agin. Also, you must consider yourself as removed from the committee.’
“‘Curse the committee,’ screamed the mate. ‘Curse——’
“He looked all round, with his eyes starting out of ’is ’ead, and then
suddenly shut his mouth with a snap and went up on deck. He never
allooded to the affair again, and in fact for the rest of the voyage ’e
hardly spoke to a soul. The young people got their cards and draughts
agin, but he took no notice, and ’e never spoke to the skipper unless
he spoke to ’im fust.
“We got to Melbourne at last, and the fust thing the skipper did was to
give our young lady some money to go ashore and buy clothes with. He
did it in a very delikit way by giving her the pay as boy, and I don’t
think I ever see anybody look so pleased and surprised as she did. The
skipper went ashore with her, as she looked rather a odd figure to be
going about alone, and comes back about a hour later without ’er.
“‘I thought perhaps she’d have come aboard,’ he ses to Mr. Fisher. ‘I
managed to miss her somehow while I was waiting outside a shop.’
“They fidgeted about a bit, and then went ashore to look for ’er,
turning up again at eight o’clock quite worried. Nine o’clock came, and
there was no signs of ’er. Mr. Fisher and Mr. Scott was in a dreadful
state, and the skipper sent almost every man aboard ashore to search
for ’er. They ’unted for ’er high and low, up and down and round about,
and turned up at midnight so done up that they could ’ardly stand
without holding on to somethink, and so upset that they couldn’t speak.
None of the officers got any sleep that night except Mr. Jackson, and
the fust thing in the morning they was ashore agin looking for her.
“She’d disappeared as completely as if she’d gone overboard, and more
than one of the chaps looked over the side half expecting to see ’er
come floating by. By twelve o’clock most of us was convinced that she’d
been made away with, and Mr. Fisher made some remarks about the police
of Melbourne as would ha’ done them good to hear.
“I was just going to see about dinner when we got the first news of
her. Three of the most miserable and solemn-looking captains I’ve ever
seen came alongside and asked for a few words with our skipper. They
all stood in a row looking as if they was going to cry.
“‘Good morning, Captain Hart,’ ses one of ’em, as our old man came up
with the mate.
“‘Good morning,’ ses he.
“‘Do you know this?’ ses one of ’em, suddenly, holding out Miss
Mallow’s dressing-gown on a walking-stick.
“‘Good ’eavens,’ ses the skipper, ‘I hope nothing’s happened to that
pore gal.’
“The three captains shook their heads all together.
“‘She is no more,’ ses another of ’em.
“‘How did it happen?’ ses the skipper, in a low voice.
“‘She took this off,’ ses the fust captain, shaking his head and
pointing to the dressing-gown.
“‘And took a chill?’ ses the skipper, staring very ’ard.
“The three captains shook their ’eads agin, and I noticed that they
seemed to watch each other and do it all together.
“‘I don’t understand,’ ses the skipper.
“‘I was afraid you wouldn’t,’ ses the first captain; ‘she took this
off.’
“‘So you said before,’ ses the skipper, rather short.
“‘And became a boy agin,’ ses the other; ‘the wickedest and most artful
young rascal that ever signed on with me.’
“He looked round at the others, and they all broke out into a perfect
roar of laughter, and jumped up and down and slapped each other on the
back, as if they was all mad. Then they asked which was the one wot had
’is ears boxed, and which was Mr. Fisher and which was Mr. Scott, and
told our skipper what a nice fatherly man he was. Quite a crowd got
round, an’ wouldn’t go away for all we could do to ’em in the shape o’
buckets o’ water and lumps o’ coal. We was the laughing-stock o’ the
place, and the way they carried on when the steamer passed us two days
later with the fust captain on the bridge, pretending not to see that
imp of a boy standing in the bows blowing us kisses and dropping
curtsies, nearly put the skipper out of ’is mind.”