The extent of these estates precluding the possibility of near
neighbors, their isolation would have been intolerable but for the
custom of visiting which prevailed among us. Many houses were filled
with visitors the greater part of the year, usually remaining two or
three weeks. Visiting tours were made in our private carriages--each
family making at least one such tour a year. Nor was it necessary to
announce these visits by message or letter, each house being considered
always ready, and "entertaining company" the occupation of the people.
Sometimes two or three carriages might be descried in the evening
coming up to the door through the Lombardy poplar avenue--the usual
approach to many old houses--whereupon ensued a lively flutter among
small servants, who speedily got them into their clean aprons, and
ran to open gates, and remove parcels from carriages, and becoming
generally excited. Lady visitors were always accompanied by colored
maids, although sure of finding a superfluity of these at each
establishment. The mistress of the house always received her guests in
the front porch, with a sincere and cordial greeting.
These visiting friends at my own home made an impression upon me that
no time can efface. I almost see them now--those dear, gentle faces--my
mother's early friends; and those delightful old ladies in close
bordered tarletan caps, who used to come to see my grandmother. These
last would sit round the fire knitting and talking over their early
memories; how they remembered the red coats of the British; how they
had seen the Richmond theater burn down, with some of their family
burned in it. How they used to wear such beautiful turbans of _crepe
lise_ to the Cartersville balls, and how they used to dance the minuet.
At mention of this, my grandmother would lay off her spectacles, put
aside her knitting, rise with dignity--she was very tall--and show us
the step of the minuet, gliding slowly and majestically around the
room. Then she would say: "Ah, children, you will never see anything
so graceful as the minuet. Such jumping around as _you_ see would not
have been considered 'genteel' in _my_ day!"
My mother's friends belonged to a later generation, and were types
of women, whom to have known I shall ever consider a blessing and
privilege. They combined intelligence with exquisite refinement and
agreeability; and their annual visits gave my mother the greatest
happiness, which we soon learned to share and appreciate.
As I consider these ladies models for our sex through all time, I
enumerate some of their attractions:
Entire absence of pretense made them always agreeable. Having no
"parlor" or "company" manners to assume, they preserved at all times a
gentle, natural, easy demeanor and conversation. They had not dipped
into the sciences, attempted by some of our sex at the present day; but
the study of Latin and French, with general reading in their mother
tongue rendered them intelligent companions for cultivated men. They
also possessed the rare gift of reading well aloud, and wrote letters
unsurpassed in penmanship, ease and agreeability of style.
Italian and German professors being rare in that day, their musical
acquirements did not extend beyond the simplest piano accompaniments
to old English and Scotch airs, which they sang in a sweet, natural
voice, and which so enchanted the beaux of their time that they--the
beaux--never afterwards became reconciled to any higher order of music.
These model women also managed their household affairs admirably; and
were uniformly kind, but never familiar with their servants. They kept
ever before them the Bible as their constant guide and rule in life,
and were surely, as nearly as possible, holy in thought, word and deed.
I have looked in vain for _exactly such_ women in other lands, but have
failed to find them.
Then there were old gentlemen visitors--beaux of my grandmother's
day--still wearing cues, wide ruffled bosoms, short pants and knee
buckles. These pronounced the _a_ very broad; sat a long time over
their wine at dinner, and carried in their pockets gold or silver
snuff-boxes presented by some distinguished individual at some remote
period.
Our visiting acquaintance extended from Botetourt county to Richmond,
and among them were jolly old Virginia gentlemen and precise
old Virginia gentlemen; eccentric old Virginia gentlemen and
prosy old Virginia gentlemen; courtly old Virginia gentlemen and
plain-mannered old Virginia gentlemen; charming old Virginia gentlemen
and uninteresting old Virginia gentlemen. Many of them had graduated
years and years ago at William and Mary College.
Then we had another set, of a later day--those who graduated in the
first graduating class at the University of Virginia, when that
institution was first established. These happened--all that we knew--to
have belonged to the same class, and often amused us--without intending
it--by reverting to that fact in these words:
"_That_ was a remarkable class! Every man in that class made his mark
in law, letters or politics! Let me see: There was Toombs. There was
Charles Mosby. There was Alexander Stuart. There was Burwell. There
was R. M. T. Hunter;" and so on, calling each by name except himself,
knowing that the others never failed to do that!
Edgar Poe and Alexander Stephens, of Georgia, were also at the
University with these gentlemen.
Although presenting an infinite variety of mind, manner and temperament,
all the gentlemen who visited us, young and old, possessed in
common certain characteristics; one of which was a deference to
ladies, which made us feel that we had been put in the world especially
to be waited upon by them. Their standard for woman was high. They
seemed to regard her as some rare and costly statue set in a niche to
be admired and _never taken_ down.
Another peculiarity they had in common, was a habit--which seemed
irresistible--of tracing people back to the remotest generation, and
appearing inconsolable if ever they failed to find out the pedigree of
any given individual for at least four generations. This, however, was
an innocent pastime, from which they seemed to derive much pleasure and
satisfaction, and which should not be regarded, even in this advanced
age, a serious fault.
Among our various visitors, was a kinsman--of whom I often heard,
but do not recollect--a bachelor of eighty years, always accompanied
by his negro servant as old as himself. Both had the same name,
Louis,--pronounced like the French--and this aged pair had been so
long together they could not exist apart. Black Louis rarely left his
master's side; assisting in the conversation if his master became
perplexed or forgetful. When his master talked in the parlor, black
Louis always planted his chair in the middle of the door-sill, every
now and then correcting or reminding with: "Now, master, dat warnt Col.
Taylor's horse dat won dat race dat day. You and me was thar." Or,
"Now, master you done forgot all 'bout dat. Dat was in de year 1779,
and _dis_ is de way it happened," &c., much to the amusement of the
company assembled. All this was said, I am told, most respectfully,
although the old negro in a manner _possessed_ his master, having
entire charge and command of him.
The negroes often felt great pride in "_their_ white people," as they
called their owners, and loved to brag about what "_their_ white
people" did and what "_their_ white people" had.
On one occasion it became necessary for my sister and myself to ride
a short distance in a public conveyance. A small colored boy, who
helped in our dining-room, had to get in the same stage. Two old
gentlemen--strangers to us--sitting opposite, supposing we had fallen
asleep, when we closed our eyes to keep out the dust, commenced talking
about us. Said one to the other: "Now those children will spoil their
Sunday bonnets." Whereupon our colored boy spoke up quickly: "Umph!
_you_ think _them's_ my mistesses' Sunday bonnets? Umph! you _jes
ought_ to see what they got up thar on top the stage in thar band
box!" At this we both laughed, for the boy had never seen our "Sunday
bonnets," nor did he know that we possessed any.