I must have been at this time about five years old. It will strike you
perhaps as strange, Sahib, that I should remember so many particulars
of the event I have described; but when I was imprisoned some years
ago at Dehlie, I used to endeavour, in my solitude, to recollect and
arrange the past adventures of my life; one circumstance led me to
the remembrance of another--for in solitude, if the mind seeks the
occupation, it readily takes up the clue to past events, however
distant, and thought brings them one by one before the imagination as
vividly fresh as the occurrences of yesterday; and from an old Thug's
adventures, which I heard during that imprisonment, I found my memory
to serve me well. I was in possession of the whole of the facts, as I
have related them to you, and I have only perhaps supplied the minor
points from my own mind. I particularly recollect the scene with
Gunesha, which he has since related to me, and told me, that such was
his rage at the abuse I poured on him, that had it not been for the
dread of Ismail's vengeance, and of his power, he would have sacrificed
me in his fury. But to return to my story, if you are not tired of it.
No, indeed, said I; I am becoming more and more interested in it.
Well, resumed Ameer Ali, I was kindly nursed and tended by Ismail
and his wife. The curiosity of the villagers was a good deal excited
by my appearance, and I have since suspected Ismail thought I might
one day reveal what I knew of my origin; and for this reason I was
never allowed out of his or his wife's sight. I must then, however,
have speedily forgotten all about it, or at least have retained so
confused and indistinct a recollection of the circumstances, that had
I endeavoured to relate them to any one, I could not have made them
intelligible, and should have been disregarded.
Ismail, in his village, carried on the trade of a cloth-merchant--at
least, when he was at home. He daily sat in his shop, with different
kinds of cloths before him for sale; but it was plain, even to me, to
see that he was restless and uneasy. He would very often be absent for
days together, without his family knowing where he had gone; and he
would suddenly return with large quantities of cloth and other goods,
which were always exposed for sale. I continued to be the object of his
greatest care, and I reciprocated his affection; for, indeed, I was
more kindly treated by him than I ever had been by my father, who was a
proud and ill-tempered man. My new mother, too, never gave me reason to
be displeased with her; for, having no child of her own, I was her pet,
and she lavished on me all the means in her power. I was always well
dressed, and had every indulgence that a child could wish for.
I was about nine years old, I think, when my kind protectress died of
a fever, while Ismail was on one of his excursions, and I was taken by
a neighbour to his house, until he returned. I shall never forget his
despair when he found his home desolate. Young as I was, I could do but
little to console him; but he used to go and deck her tomb with flowers
every Friday, and bitter were his lamentations over her grave.
Poor Miriam! for that was her name--it was well for you that you died;
had you lived, what would now have been your condition! As the wife of
a noted Thug, your reputation would have been blasted, and you would
have become an outcast! Sahib! she never knew what Ismail was. He
was to her a man in prosperous circumstances. She had everything she
could desire, and not a want remained unsatisfied; and so deeply and
well-laid were his plans, that she would never have known, till the day
of his capture, that she was the wife of a professed murderer!
I pass over the next four or five years of my life, as I can remember
no incident in them worth relating. Ismail, soon after the death of
his wife, removed from the village where he had hitherto resided, and
took up his abode in the town of Murnae, which was then in Sindia's
possession, and I was put to school with an old man, who taught me to
read and write Persian. As I grew older, I observed that Ismail used
very frequently to have a number of men at his house by night, and I
was naturally curious to know who they were, and why they assembled.
One evening that I knew they were expected, I feigned to lie down and
go to sleep as usual; but when they had all come, I got up cautiously,
and hid myself behind a purdah or screen, at the further end of the
room where they sat. After they had eaten what was prepared for
them, they all drew together, and began conversing in a language I
only partially understood, and I thought this strange, as I knew
Hindoostanee and the common dialect myself, having picked up the latter
by associating with the boys of the town. By-and-by Ismail went to a
closet very near where I lay, and his movement alarmed me greatly,
as I was fearful of being discovered; he took from it a box, which
he placed in the circle, and opened it. Rich as I had always thought
him, I had no idea of the wealth it contained; there were quantities
of gold and silver ornaments of all kinds, with strings of pearls and
other valuables; they seemed all parcelled out into lots, as equally as
possible, and to each man he gave one, reserving a considerable share
for himself.
At last they began to speak in Hindoostanee, a language I understood.
One of them, an elderly man with a venerable beard, said to Ismail,--
"What do you intend doing with Ameer? He is almost a young man; and if
he is to be one of us, it is high time he should be taught what to do.
It is very dangerous to have him about the house; he might discover
something, and be off before you knew anything of the matter."
"Oh, I have no fear of him," said Ismail, "he is too fond of me;
besides, he has no other protector in the world but myself. He was the
son of ----"
And here the conversation was carried on by Ismail again in the
language I did not understand.
"It does not matter," said another man, whose name was Hoosein, and
whom I knew very well, as he was employed by Ismail, to all appearance,
as an agent for selling his cloth; "the lad is a smart, active fellow,
and a great deal too knowing for you to let him go about everywhere
with so little restraint; he will find out all one of these days, if he
is not fairly brought among us. Besides, he is old enough to be of use
in many ways, and he ought to be instructed in our profession, if he be
ever to learn; depend upon it, the sooner he eats the Goor, the more
relish he will have for it. I brought up a lad myself; and when once
he got his hand in, he was a perfect tiger at the work, and became so
expert, that our oldest hands could hardly compete with him."
"Well," said Ismail, "I believe you are right, and I foretell great
doings from this boy. He is brave and stout beyond his years, and
there are but few who can excel him in his qusrut, which I have
taught him ever since he was a child; but he is of so kind and gentle
a disposition, that I do not know how to break the matter to him. I
almost fear he will never consent."
"Pooh!" said a third man, whom I had never seen before; "these very
kind-hearted boys are the best we could have; they are the more easily
led and won over, and one has more dependence upon them. Put the matter
in the proper light; talk to him of the glory of the business, and of
our surety of Heaven. Describe to him all about the houris which our
blessed prophet--may his name be honoured!--has promised us; and tell
him, too, of the heaven of Indur, all of which you know we are sure of;
the one by our faith as Moslims, and the other by our profession. He
will soon be won over, I am certain."
"I think," said Ismail, "you have hit on the right way; the lad goes
to the old foolish Moola of the Mosque whenever he can get a moment's
leisure, who has so filled his head with stories about Paradise, which
he reads to him out of the blessed Koran, that he is at times half
beside himself, and this is the only point on which he is assailable. I
will talk him over, and have no doubt he will soon belong to us."
"The sooner the better," said Hoosein, laughing; "I like to see the
first attempt of a beginner: he always looks so confoundedly innocent
when the cloth is put into his hand, and he is told----"
"Silence!" cried the old man; "suppose he were now to hear you (and
you were going on with a relation of the whole matter), he might take
a different view of the subject, and be off, as I said before."
"No; there is no fear of that," said Ismail; "but are you not tired
with your march? remember, we have far to travel to-morrow, and, by
Alla! it is for some good too."
"Ay!" said all, getting up; "let us go to sleep; it is too hot to rest
here; we shall be cooler in the open air;" and they left the room.
You may believe, Sahib, that my curiosity was at the highest pitch:
who was Ismail? who were the rest? what was it I was to know, or to be
taught? My mind was in a whirl. I could not sleep that night; I never
closed my eyes; I seemed to be in a fever, so intense was my curiosity,
and, I may say, my desire to know everything, and to become a partner
with Ismail in whatever he was. Hitherto I had been looked upon,
treated as a child: now that was to be cast aside. I was, like a snake,
to throw off my old skin, and to appear in a new and brighter form.
Who could my parents be? I had gathered enough from the conversation,
that Ismail was not my father, and I taxed my memory to recollect such
portions of my previous existence as might throw some light on the
subject; but all was dark within me. I could remember nothing but poor
Miriam, my mother as I used to call her; beyond this, though hard did I
endeavour, I could recollect nothing. It was only in after-times, as I
have told you, and during a long imprisonment of twelve years, that my
memory aided me.
The old Moola of the Mosque had hitherto appeared in my eyes the most
learned of men; he had stored my mind with passages from the Koran,
which had made me an enthusiast. When he spoke to me of the glories
of heaven, of the thousands of houris who would be at the command
of every true believer, described their beautiful forms, their eyes
like sapphires, their teeth of pearls, their lips like rubies, and
their breath like the perfume of musk; the palaces of jewels, and the
fountain of immortality and never-ending youth;--I believed that I
was destined to enjoy all. They had inflamed my imagination; and as I
used to repeat them to Ismail, he too appeared as delighted as I was,
and used to regret that he had never studied the blessed book, that he
might enjoy its beautiful descriptions; yet the Moola was called a fool
by Hoosein, and I understood from him that theirs was a higher calling,
their rewards more splendid than even those of the Moslim! What could
they be? I burned to know; and resolved, that if Ismail did not break
the matter to me, I would, of my own accord, lead him to the subject.
I said, I think, that my eyes never closed that night; when I rose
in the morning, I found that Ismail and the others were gone. He did
not return for some days. This was nothing uncommon, certainly; but
his proceedings had become mysterious to me for a long time before,
and I could not help connecting his frequent and long absences with
his true profession, whatever that might be. He could not be _only_ a
cloth-merchant: there was nothing in that plodding business to hold out
to him or to me the splendid hopes which Hoosein and the rest evidently
entertained, and with which I had no doubt he was familiar. It must be
something beyond this, which I could not compass; and to see whether I
could get any clue to it, I betook myself to the old Moola.
Azeezoola, for that was his name, received me with his usual kindness,
but remarked that I must be ill, as my face, he said, was full of
anxiety, and as though I was suffering from fever. I said I had had
ague, but that I was better, and that it would soon pass from me.
I took my usual lessons in the forms, positions, and words of a
Mahomedan's daily prayers; and when these were ended, I begged him to
open the Koran, and explain again to me my favourite passages. The old
man put on his spectacles, and rocking himself to and fro, read to me
passage by passage of the book in Arabic, explaining the meaning to me
as he read. It was the same I had heard often before: and when he had
finished, I asked him whether there were not other portions of the book
which he had concealed from me.
"No, my son," said he; "I have concealed from you nothing. My knowledge
of this blessed book is indeed very limited; but oh! that you could
have seen and heard the commentaries which my revered preceptor,
peace be to his memory! had written upon it. In them so deep was his
knowledge, that every sentence of some chapters, in which the true
meaning is purposely hidden from the uninspired, formed a separate
treatise; nay, in some passages every word, and indeed every letter,
was commented upon. But he is gone, and is now enjoying the delights of
the paradise I have revealed to you. All I can do is to read to you,
and I will do it again and again, till you have by heart the parts
which most interest you, and which are the cream of the book."
"But," said I, "have you never heard of anything beyond what you
have told me, in all your long experience? You are surely concealing
something from me, which you fear to tell me, on account of my youth."
"No, indeed," said the old man, "it is true that some professors of our
religion, Sofees and others, whose creeds are accursed, have from time
to time promulgated heterodox doctrines, which are plausible enough,
and entrap the unwary; but they lead to ultimate perdition, and I think
you are now too well grounded in your belief to be led away by them,
young as you are."
"Thanks to your kindness, I am," said I, "and it was only to try
whether I had more to learn, that I have now questioned you as I have,"
for I saw he either could not, or would not reveal to me more. "But
tell me, father, what profession ought I to adopt to carry your wise
instructions into the best effect?"
"Become a Moola," said he; "you will have to undergo much painful
study, but in the course of time this obstacle will be overcome; and
depend upon it, there is no station or profession so acceptable to God
as that of one of his ministers. I will instruct you in the rudiments
of Arabic, and your father when he sees your mind bent upon it will not
oppose you; nay, he will send you to Delhie to complete the education I
shall have begun."
"Well, I will think of it," said I. But it was very far from my
intention to become a Moola. I could not disguise from myself that
Azeezoola was miserably poor, and was dependent upon contributions he
with difficulty collected for his maintenance. Besides Ismail was not
a Moola, nor Hoosein, nor any of their set and I must become one of
them, be they what they might, before my mind could be at rest. I went
no more to him. I had got from him his little store of knowledge, and
if once I had broken the subject of my future life to him, I should
only be subjected to continual arguments in support of his view of what
would tend to my benefit; and as I did not like them, I thought it
better to stay away.
Would to God I had become a Moola! Anything would be preferable to my
state at present, which must now for ever remain as it is. It is my
fate, however, and I ought not to murmur at the decrees of Providence.
If it had not been written, would my father have been murdered? If it
had not been written, should I have ever become a Thug? Assuredly not!
Who can oppose fate? who can avert its decrees? Yet would you not,
Sahib, release me, and provide for me, if after many years you found me
faithful?
Never! said I; you Thugs are too dangerous ever to be let loose again
upon the world; your fingers would itch to strangle the first man you
met, and before long we should hear of Ameer Ali Jemadar, with a gang
of forty or fifty fellows, who would give us infinite trouble to catch.
Would it not be so?
I believe you are right, said Ameer Ali, laughing: in spite of my
remorse at times, the opportunities would be too tempting for me to let
them pass. And you know I have eaten the Goor, and cannot change. I am
better as I am, for if you caught me again you would hang me.
I have not the least doubt we should, Ameer Ali: but go on with your
story; you will forget what your train of thought was, if you digress
in this manner. He resumed.
Nearly a month elapsed, and after this weary time to me, Ismail
returned, accompanied by Hoosein. My father, for so I shall call him,
remarked a change in my appearance, which I accounted for as I had
done to the Moola, and he seemed satisfied. But was I? Oh, no! I was
consumed by my burning curiosity to know all that was hidden from me.
I could not sleep at nights, and became sullen, and oppressed with
thoughts which led me to no conclusions. At one time I had formed
the determination to leave my father, and seek my fortune; and had
actually packed up a few of my clothes, and a little money I had, and
resolved to leave the town in the night, little caring where my fate
should lead me; but when the time came, the sense of my desolation so
pressed upon me, that I abandoned the idea, and remained. I trusted to
time for clearing up the mystery that hung over me, but at the same
time determined that I would be more watchful over my father and his
companions than I had ever been before. And many were the resolutions
I made to speak to him on the subject nearest my heart; yet even when
opportunities occurred, I could not bring myself to the task. It was
not that I was timid--naturally I was brave--it was a mysterious
consciousness that I should hear something (whenever I should hear it)
that was strange, nay, fearful, that deterred me; but why this feeling
should have so possessed me I cannot now tell, yet so it was.
One evening, Ismail sent for me to his sleeping-room. I had been rarely
admitted to it, and my heart beat fearfully, with a presentiment
that I was upon the crisis of my fate.--Ismail too seemed to me to
be disturbed; he bade me sit down, and we sat silently for some time
gazing on one another. There was only one small oil light burning in
a recess of the wall, which made the apartment very gloomy, and this
trifling circumstance contributed still more to increase the morbid
feeling within me. I believe I almost gasped for breath; I could bear
it no longer. I arose, threw myself at his feet, and burst into a
passionate fit of weeping.
"Why, Ameer, my child, my son," said he, kindly and caressingly, "what
is this? what has troubled you? has some fair one bewitched you? have
you got into any difficulty while I have been away? Tell me, my boy;
you know you have no one in the world so fond of you as your father,
and, alas! you have now no mother."
When my feelings gave me power of utterance, fearfully I repeated to
him what I had heard from him and the rest, on the memorable night
I have before related. When I had finished, I rose up, and with a
throbbing heart said, "I have erred, my father; my curiosity, a boy's
curiosity, overcame me, but since then my feelings have changed, why I
know not; I am no longer a boy, for I feel that I can do anything, and
only implore you to put me to the proof;"--and I folded my hands on my
breast, and stood silently. He was evidently much moved; dusk as it
was, I could see his face working with emotions, and under expressions
new to me.
At last he broke the silence, which had become to me insupportable:
"My son," he said, "you know more than I had ever intended you should.
I have now no alternative but to make you such as I am myself, and my
knowledge of your character leads me to anticipate much from you."
"Trust me, only trust me!" I passionately exclaimed; "you shall never
have cause to regret it!"
"I believe you," said he; "and now attend well to what I shall say,
for upon it your future existence depends. There can be no hesitation,
no falling back on the world, when once you know all. You will have to
undergo a trial which will stretch your courage to its utmost: will you
go through with it? dare you to brave it?"
"I dare," cried I, for I was reckless.
He seemed to be absorbed in thought for a few moments, and then said,
"Not to-night, but I swear to you that in three days at the farthest, I
will conceal nothing from you."
I was disappointed, yet full of hope, and he dismissed me to my repose.
Ismail performed his promise; but I can hardly describe to you, Sahib,
the effect it then had on my mind: shall I endeavour to relate what his
tale was? I only hesitate, as it began by his giving me a sketch of
his life, which I fear would lead me from my own story--yet it would
interest you greatly.
I doubt not that it would, Ameer Ali, said I; and when you have
finished your own adventures you can return to it.
You are right, Sahib, I will omit it at present, all except his
concluding words; which, with his tale of wrong, endured and revenged,
made me hate the world, and cleave to Thuggee as the only profession
and brotherhood in which I could hope to find good faith existing. They
were these, and they have ever been indelibly impressed on my memory.
"Thus far, my son, have I related some events of my life for your
instruction, and I have little more to add. I need hardly now mention
that I am a Thug, a member of that glorious profession which has been
transmitted from the remotest periods, to the few selected by Alla for
his unerring purposes. In it, the Hindoo and the Moslim both unite
as brothers: among them bad faith is never known: a sure proof, that
our calling is blessed and sanctioned by the divine authority. For
where on this earth, my son, will you find true faith to exist, except
among us? I see none in all my dealings with the world; in it, each
man is incessantly striving to outwit and deceive his neighbour: and
I turn from its heartlessness to our truth, which it is refreshing to
my soul to contemplate. From the lowest to the highest among us, all
are animated with the same zeal; go where we will we find the same
brotherhood; and though differing perhaps, in many parts, in customs
and points of practice, yet their hearts are the same, and all pursue
the great aim and end of Thuggee with the same spirit. Go where we
will, we find homes open to us, and a welcome greeting among tribes
even of whose language we of Hindostan are ignorant; yet their signs
of recognition are the same as ours, and you need but to be thrown
among them as I have been, to experience the truth of my assertions.
Could this be without the aid of God? So clashing are human interests
and so depraved is the social state of our country, that I own no
such feeling could exist without the Divine will. Some repugnance you
will feel at the practice of the profession at first, but it is soon
overcome, for the rewards held out are too glorious, to allow us to
dwell for a moment on the means we use to attain them. Besides, it is
Fate,--the decree of the blessed Alla! and who can withstand it? If
he leads us into the undertaking, he gives us firm and brave hearts,
a determination which no opposition can overcome, and a perseverance
which never yet failed to accomplish its object. Such, my son, is what
I would make you; you will enter on your calling at once in a high
grade, under my auspices, a grade which others spend years of exertion
to attain; you will never know want, for all my wealth shall be shared
with you. Be firm, be courageous, be subtle, be faithful; more you need
not. These are the highest qualifications of a Thug, and those which
ensure honour and respect among our fraternity, and lead to certain
success and high rank. As for me, I look but to see you at the head
of a band of your own, to retire, and in quiet, pass the remainder of
the years allotted to me, content with hearing the praise which will
be bestowed upon Ameer Ali, the daring and enterprising son of Ismail!
Till then I shall be your guardian and instructor."