Claudia; by Paetina, Antonia; and by Messalina, Octavia, and also a son,
whom at first he called Germanicus, but afterwards Britannicus. He lost
Drusus at Pompeii, when he was very young; he being choked with a pear,
which in his play he tossed into the air, and caught in his mouth. Only
a few days before, he had betrothed him to one of Sejanus's daughters
[532]; and I am therefore surprised that some authors should say he lost
his life by the treachery of Sejanus. Claudia, who was, in truth, the
daughter of Boter his freedman, though she was born five months before
his divorce, he ordered to be thrown naked at her mother's door. He
married Antonia to Cneius Pompey the Great [533], and afterwards to
Faustus Sylla [534], both youths of very noble parentage; Octavia to his
step-son Nero [535], after she had been contracted to Silanus.
Britannicus was born upon the twentieth day of his reign, and in his
second consulship. He often earnestly commended him to the soldiers,
holding him in his arms before their ranks; and would likewise show him
to the people in the theatre, setting him upon his lap, or holding him
out whilst he was still very young; and was sure to receive their
acclamations, and good wishes on his behalf. Of his (321) sons-in-law,
he adopted Nero. He not only dismissed from his favour both Pompey and
Silanus, but put them to death.
XXVIII. Amongst his freedmen, the greatest favourite was the eunuch
Posides, whom, in his British triumph, he presented with the pointless
spear, classing him among the military men. Next to him, if not equal,
in favour was Felix [536], whom he not only preferred to commands both of
cohorts and troops, but to the government of the province of Judaea; and
he became, in consequence of his elevation, the husband of three queens
[537]. Another favourite was Harpocras, to whom he granted the privilege
of being carried in a litter within the city, and of holding public
spectacles for the entertainment of the people. In this class was
likewise Polybius, who assisted him in his studies, and had often the
honour of walking between the two consuls. But above all others,
Narcissus, his secretary, and Pallas [538], the comptroller of his
accounts, were in high favour with him. He not only allowed them to
receive, by decree of the senate, immense presents, but also to be
decorated with the quaestorian and praetorian ensigns of honour. So much
did he indulge them in amassing wealth, and plundering the public, that,
upon his complaining, once, of the lowness of his exchequer, some one
said, with great reason, that "It would be full enough, if those two
freedmen of his would but take him into partnership with them."
XXIX. Being entirely governed by these freedmen, and, as I have already
said, by his wives, he was a tool to others, rather than a prince. He
distributed offices, or the command of armies, pardoned or punished,
according as it suited their interests, (322) their passions, or their
caprice; and for the most part, without knowing, or being sensible of
what he did. Not to enter into minute details relative to the revocation
of grants, the reversal of judicial decisions, obtaining his signature to
fictitious appointments, or the bare-faced alteration of them after
signing; he put to death Appius Silanus, the father of his son-in-law,
and the two Julias, the daughters of Drusus and Germanicus, without any
positive proof of the crimes with which they were charged, or so much as
permitting them to make any defence. He also cut off Cneius Pompey, the
husband of his eldest daughter; and Lucius Silanus, who was betrothed to
the younger Pompey, was stabbed in the act of unnatural lewdness with a
favourite paramour. Silanus was obliged to quit the office of praetor
upon the fourth of the calends of January [29th Dec.], and to kill
himself on new year's day [539] following, the very same on which
Claudius and Agrippina were married. He condemned to death five and
thirty senators, and above three hundred Roman knights, with so little
attention to what he did, that when a centurion brought him word of the
execution of a man of consular rank, who was one of the number, and told
him that he had executed his order, he declared, "he had ordered no such
thing, but that he approved of it;" because his freedmen, it seems, had
said, that the soldiers did nothing more than their duty, in dispatching
the emperor's enemies without waiting for a warrant. But it is beyond
all belief, that he himself, at the marriage of Messalina with the
adulterous Silius, should actually sign the writings relative to her
dowry; induced, as it is pretended, by the design of diverting from
himself and transferring upon another the danger which some omens seemed
to threaten him.
XXX. Either standing or sitting, but especially when he lay asleep, he
had a majestic and graceful appearance; for he was tall, but not slender.
His grey looks became him well, and he had a full neck. But his knees
were feeble, and failed him in walking, so that his gait was ungainly,
both when he assumed state, and when he was taking diversion. He was
outrageous in his laughter, and still more so in his wrath, for then he
foamed at the mouth, and discharged from his nostrils. He also stammered
in his speech, and had a tremulous motion (323) of the head at all times,
but particularly when he was engaged in any business, however trifling.
XXXI. Though his health was very infirm during the former part of his
life, yet, after he became emperor, he enjoyed a good state of health,
except only that he was subject to a pain of the stomach. In a fit of
this complaint, he said he had thoughts of killing himself.
XXXII. He gave entertainments as frequent as they were splendid, and
generally when there was such ample room, that very often six hundred
guests sat down together. At a feast he gave on the banks of the canal
for draining the Fucine Lake, he narrowly escaped being drowned, the
water at its discharge rushing out with such violence, that it overflowed
the conduit. At supper he had always his own children, with those of
several of the nobility, who, according to an ancient custom, sat at the
feet of the couches. One of his guests having been suspected of
purloining a golden cup, he invited him again the next day, but served
him with a porcelain jug. It is said, too, that he intended to publish
an edict, "allowing to all people the liberty of giving vent at table to
any distension occasioned by flatulence," upon hearing of a person whose
modesty, when under restraint, had nearly cost him his life.
XXXIII. He was always ready to eat and drink at any time or in any
place. One day, as he was hearing causes in the Forum of Augustus, he
smelt the dinner which was preparing for the Salii [540], in the temple
of Mars adjoining, whereupon he quitted (324) the tribunal, and went to
partake of the feast with the priests.
He scarcely ever left the table until he had thoroughly crammed himself
and drank to intoxication; and then he would immediately fall asleep,
lying upon his back with his mouth open. While in this condition, a
feather was put down his throat, to make him throw up the contents of his
stomach. Upon composing himself to rest, his sleep was short, and he
usually awoke before midnight; but he would sometimes sleep in the
daytime, and that, even, when he was upon the tribunal; so that the
advocates often found it difficult to wake him, though they raised their
voices for that purpose. He set no bounds to his libidinous intercourse
with women, but never betrayed any unnatural desires for the other sex.
He was fond of gaming, and published a book upon the subject. He even
used to play as he rode in his chariot, having the tables so fitted, that
the game was not disturbed by the motion of the carriage.
XXXIV. His cruel and sanguinary disposition was exhibited upon great as
well as trifling occasions. When any person was to be put to the
torture, or criminal punished for parricide, he was impatient for the
execution, and would have it performed in his own presence. When he was
at Tibur, being desirous of seeing an example of the old way of putting
malefactors to death, some were immediately bound to a stake for the
purpose; but there being no executioner to be had at the place, he sent
for one from Rome, and waited for his coming until night. In any
exhibition of gladiators, presented either by himself or others, if any
of the combatants chanced to fall, he ordered them to be butchered,
especially the Retiarii, that he might see their faces in the agonies of
death. Two gladiators happening to kill each other, he immediately
ordered some little knives to be made of their swords for his own use.
He took great pleasure in seeing men engage with wild beasts, and the
combatants who appeared on the stage at noon. He would therefore come to
the theatre by break of day, and at noon, dismissing the people to
dinner, continued sitting himself; and besides those who were devoted to
that sanguinary fate, he would match others with the beasts, upon slight
or sudden occasions; as, for instance, the carpenters and their (326)
assistants, and people of that sort, if a machine, or any piece of work
in which they had been employed about the theatre did not answer the
purpose for which it had been intended. To this desperate kind of
encounter he forced one of his nomenclators, even encumbered as he was by
wearing the toga.
XXXV. But the characteristics most predominant in him were fear and
distrust. In the beginning of his reign, though he much affected a
modest and humble appearance, as has been already observed, yet he durst
not venture himself at an entertainment without being attended by a guard
of spearmen, and made soldiers wait upon him at table instead of
servants. He never visited a sick person, until the chamber had been
first searched, and the bed and bedding thoroughly examined. At other
times, all persons who came to pay their court to him were strictly
searched by officers appointed for that purpose; nor was it until after a
long time, and with much difficulty, that he was prevailed upon to excuse
women, boys, and girls from such rude handling, or suffer their
attendants or writing-masters to retain their cases for pens and styles.
When Camillus formed his plot against him, not doubting but his timidity
might be worked upon without a war, he wrote to him a scurrilous,
petulant, and threatening letter, desiring him to resign the government,
and betake himself to a life of privacy. Upon receiving this
requisition, he had some thoughts of complying with it, and summoned
together the principal men of the city, to consult with them on the
subject.
XXXVI. Having heard some loose reports of conspiracies formed against
him, he was so much alarmed, that he thought of immediately abdicating
the government. And when, as I have before related, a man armed with a
dagger was discovered near him while he was sacrificing, he instantly
ordered the heralds to convoke the senate, and with tears and dismal
exclamations, lamented that such was his condition, that he was safe no
where; and for a long time afterwards he abstained from appearing in
public. He smothered his ardent love for Messalina, not so much on
account of her infamous conduct, as from apprehension of danger;
believing that she aspired to share with Silius, her partner in adultery,
the imperial dignity. (326) Upon this occasion he ran in a great fright,
and a very shameful manner, to the camp, asking all the way he went, "if
the empire were indeed safely his?"
XXXVII. No suspicion was too trifling, no person on whom it rested too
contemptible, to throw him into a panic, and induce him to take
precautions for his safety, and meditate revenge. A man engaged in a
litigation before his tribunal, having saluted him, drew him aside, and
told him he had dreamt that he saw him murdered; and shortly afterwards,
when his adversary came to deliver his plea to the emperor, the
plaintiff, pretending to have discovered the murderer, pointed to him as
the man he had seen in his dream; whereupon, as if he had been taken in
the act, he was hurried away to execution. We are informed, that Appius
Silanus was got rid of in the same manner, by a contrivance betwixt
Messalina and Narcissus, in which they had their several parts assigned
them. Narcissus therefore burst into his lord's chamber before daylight,
apparently in great fright, and told him that he had dreamt that Appius
Silanus had murdered him. The empress, upon this, affecting great
surprise, declared she had the like dream for several nights
successively. Presently afterwards, word was brought, as it had been
agreed on, that Appius was come, he having, indeed, received orders the
preceding day to be there at that time; and, as if the truth of the dream
was sufficiently confirmed by his appearance at that juncture, he was
immediately ordered to be prosecuted and put to death. The day
following, Claudius related the whole affair to the senate, and
acknowledged his great obligation to his freedmen for watching over him
even in his sleep.
XXXVIII. Sensible of his being subject to passion and resentment, he
excused himself in both instances by a proclamation, assuring the public
that "the former should be short and harmless, and the latter never
without good cause." After severely reprimanding the people of Ostia for
not sending some boats to meet him upon his entering the mouth of the
Tiber, in terms which might expose them to the public resentment, he
wrote to Rome that he had been treated as a private person; yet
immediately afterwards he pardoned them, and that in a way which had the
appearance of making them (327) satisfaction, or begging pardon for some
injury he had done them. Some people who addressed him unseasonably in
public, he pushed away with his own hand. He likewise banished a person
who had been secretary to a quaestor, and even a senator who had filled
the office of praetor, without a hearing, and although they were
innocent; the former only because he had treated him with rudeness while
he was in a private station, and the other, because in his aedileship he
had fined some tenants of his, for selling cooked victuals contrary to
law, and ordered his steward, who interfered, to be whipped. On this
account, likewise, he took from the aediles the jurisdiction they had
over cooks'-shops. He did not scruple to speak of his own absurdities,
and declared in some short speeches which he published, that he had only
feigned imbecility in the reign of Caius, because otherwise it would have
been impossible for him to have escaped and arrived at the station he had
then attained. He could not, however, gain credit for this assertion;
for a short time afterwards, a book was published under the title of
Moron anastasis, "The Resurrection of Fools," the design of which was to
show "that nobody ever counterfeited folly."
XXXIX. Amongst other things, people admired in him his indifference and
unconcern; or, to express it in Greek, his meteoria and ablepsia.
Placing himself at table a little after Messalina's death, he enquired,
"Why the empress did not come?" Many of those whom he had condemned to
death, he ordered the day after to be invited to his table, and to game
with him, and sent to reprimand them as sluggish fellows for not making
greater haste. When he was meditating his incestuous marriage with
Agrippina, he was perpetually calling her, "My daughter, my nursling,
born and brought up upon my lap." And when he was going to adopt Nero,
as if there was little cause for censure in his adopting a son-in-law,
when he had a son of his own arrived at years of maturity; he continually
gave out in public, "that no one had ever been admitted by adoption into
the Claudian family."
XL. He frequently appeared so careless in what he said, and so
inattentive to circumstances, that it was believed he never reflected who
he himself was, or amongst whom, or at (328) what time, or in what place,
he spoke. In a debate in the senate relative to the butchers and
vintners, he cried out, "I ask you, who can live without a bit of meat?"
And mentioned the great plenty of old taverns, from which he himself used
formerly to have his wine. Among other reasons for his supporting a
certain person who was candidate for the quaestorship, he gave this: "His
father," said he, "once gave me, very seasonably, a draught of cold water
when I was sick." Upon his bringing a woman as a witness in some cause
before the senate, he said, "This woman was my mother's freedwoman and
dresser, but she always considered me as her master; and this I say,
because there are some still in my family that do not look upon me as
such." The people of Ostia addressing him in open court with a petition,
he flew into a rage at them, and said, "There is no reason why I should
oblige you: if any one else is free to act as he pleases, surely I am."
The following expressions he had in his mouth every day, and at all hours
and seasons: "What! do you take me for a Theogonius?" [541] And in Greek
lalei kai mae thingane, "Speak, but do not touch me;" besides many other
familiar sentences, below the dignity of a private person, much more of
an emperor, who was not deficient either in eloquence or learning, as
having applied himself very closely to the liberal sciences.
XLI. By the encouragement of Titus Livius [542], and with the assistance
of Sulpicius Flavus, he attempted at an early age the composition of a
history; and having called together a numerous auditory, to hear and give
their judgment upon it, he read it over with much difficulty, and
frequently interrupting himself. For after he had begun, a great laugh
was raised amongst the company, by the breaking of several benches from
the weight of a very fat man; and even when order was restored, he could
not forbear bursting out into violent fits of laughter, at the
remembrance of the accident. After he became emperor, likewise, he wrote
several things (329) which he was careful to have recited to his friends
by a reader. He commenced his history from the death of the dictator
Caesar; but afterwards he took a later period, and began at the
conclusion of the civil wars; because he found he could not speak with
freedom, and a due regard to truth, concerning the former period, having
been often taken to task both by his mother and grandmother. Of the
earlier history he left only two books, but of the latter, one and forty.
He compiled likewise the "History of his Own Life," in eight books, full
of absurdities, but in no bad style; also, "A Defence of Cicero against
the Books of Asinius Gallus," [543] which exhibited a considerable degree
of learning. He besides invented three new letters, and added them to
the former alphabet [544], as highly necessary. He published a book to
recommend them while he was yet only a private person; but on his
elevation to imperial power he had little difficulty in introducing them
into common use; and these letters are still extant in a variety of
books, registers, and inscriptions upon buildings.
XLII. He applied himself with no less attention to the study of Grecian
literature, asserting upon all occasions his love of that language, and
its surpassing excellency. A stranger once holding a discourse both in
Greek and Latin, he addressed him thus; "Since you are skilled in both
our tongues." And recommending Achaia to the favour of the senate, he
said, "I have a particular attachment to that province, on account of our
common studies." In the senate he often made long replies to ambassadors
in that language. On the tribunal he frequently quoted the verses of
Homer. When at any time he had taken vengeance on an enemy or a
conspirator, he scarcely ever gave to the tribune on guard, who, (330)
according to custom, came for the word, any other than this.
Andr' epamynastai, ote tis proteros chalepaenae.
'Tis time to strike when wrong demands the blow.
To conclude, he wrote some histories likewise in Greek, namely, twenty
books on Tuscan affairs, and eight on the Carthaginian; in consequence of
which, another museum was founded at Alexandria, in addition to the old
one, and called after his name; and it was ordered, that, upon certain
days in every year, his Tuscan history should be read over in one of
these, and his Carthaginian in the other, as in a school; each history
being read through by persons who took it in turn.
XLIII. Towards the close of his life, he gave some manifest indications
that he repented of his marriage with Agrippina, and his adoption of
Nero. For some of his freedmen noticing with approbation his having
condemned, the day before, a woman accused of adultery, he remarked, "It
has been my misfortune to have wives who have been unfaithful to my bed;
but they did not escape punishment." Often, when he happened to meet
Britannicus, he would embrace him tenderly, and express a desire "that he
might grow apace," and receive from him an account of all his actions:
using the Greek phrase, "o trosas kai iasetai,--He who has wounded will
also heal." And intending to give him the manly habit, while he was yet
under age and a tender youth, because his stature would allow of it, he
added, "I do so, that the Roman people may at last have a real Caesar."
[545]
XLIV. Soon afterwards he made his will, and had it signed by all the
magistrates as witnesses. But he was prevented from proceeding further
by Agrippina, accused by her own guilty conscience, as well as by
informers, of a variety of crimes. It is agreed that he was taken off by
poison; but where, and by whom administered, remains in uncertainty.
Some authors say that it was given him as he was feasting with the
priests in the Capitol, by the eunuch Halotus, his taster. Others say
(331) by Agrippina, at his own table, in mushrooms, a dish of which he
was very fond [546]. The accounts of what followed likewise differ.
Some relate that he instantly became speechless, was racked with pain
through the night, and died about day-break; others, that at first he
fell into a sound sleep, and afterwards, his food rising, he threw up the
whole; but had another dose given him; whether in water-gruel, under
pretence of refreshment after his exhaustion, or in a clyster, as if
designed to relieve his bowels, is likewise uncertain.
XLV. His death was kept secret until everything was settled relative to
his successor. Accordingly, vows were made for his recovery, and
comedians were called to amuse him, as it was pretended, by his own
desire. He died upon the third of the ides of October [13th October], in
the consulship of Asinius Marcellus and Acilius Aviola, in the
sixty-fourth year of his age, and the fourteenth of his reign [547]. His
funeral was celebrated with the customary imperial pomp, and he was
ranked amongst the gods. This honour was taken from him by Nero, but
restored by Vespasian.
XLVI. The chief presages of his death were, the appearance of a comet,
his father Drusus's monument being struck by lightning, and the death of
most of the magistrates of all ranks that year. It appears from several
circumstances, that he was sensible of his approaching dissolution, and
made no secret of it. For when he nominated the consuls, he appointed no
one to fill the office beyond the month in which he died. At the last
assembly of the senate in which he made his appearance, he earnestly
exhorted his two sons to unity with each other, and with earnest
entreaties commended to the fathers the care of their tender years. And
in the last cause he heard from the tribunal, he repeatedly declared in
open court, "That he was now arrived at the last stage of mortal
existence;" whilst all who heard it shrunk at hearing these ominous
words.
* * * * * *
The violent death of Caligula afforded the Romans a fresh opportunity to
have asserted the liberty of their country; but the conspirators had
concerted no plan, by which they should proceed upon the assassination of
that tyrant; and the indecision of the senate, in a debate of two days,
on so sudden an emergency, gave time to the caprice of the soldiers to
interpose in the settlement of the government. By an accident the most
fortuitous, a man devoid of all pretensions to personal merit, so weak in
understanding as to be the common sport of the emperor's household, and
an object of contempt even to his own kindred; this man, in the hour of
military insolence, was nominated by the soldiers as successor to the
Roman throne. Not yet in possession of the public treasury, which
perhaps was exhausted, he could not immediately reward the services of
his electors with a pecuniary gratification; but he promised them a
largess of fifteen thousand sesterces a man, upwards of a hundred and
forty pounds sterling; and as we meet with no account of any subsequent
discontents in the army, we may justly conclude that the promise was soon
after fulfilled. This transaction laid the foundation of that military
despotism, which, through many succeeding ages, convulsed the Roman
empire.