and carried on the business for years, there exists a certain class
who, although pecuniarily successful, do not have a very clear idea
of the requisite qualities indispensable to the general make up of
a first-class professional. Others seem to ignore the multitudinous
duties, the performance of which will bring either credit, or blame,
to themselves, according to the degree of tact or skill exhibited in
the discharge thereof.
A great many have gone into the business simply because it is
represented to them as a _money making_ profession; others, because
their fathers being undertakers have thought proper to train them to
it, although their mercantile ideas may run in another direction. And
again, some without capital will try and battle against competition,
merely to make a living; but above all, there is that class of men
who, entirely ignorant of the rudimentary knowledge of the business,
having means, and regardless of the qualifications necessary to
insure success, plunge right into it with the idea that it is a safe
investment for surplus funds, a genteel employment, and one which,
according to their notions, does not require any extraordinary amount
of brains or labor.
Is it then a matter of astonishment if so many of our undertakers
fail, or find themselves unable to cope with some more favored rival?
To them it is a source of wonder, but to a discriminating public the
cause is soon apparent.
It is safe to assert that every one cannot be an undertaker; in this
profession, a man is more than in any other the architect of his
own fortune; his success depends altogether upon his tact, skill,
discrimination and untiring efforts to please those who may honor him
with their trust. No small matter is it for an undertaker to perform
his solemn duties with credit to himself and to the satisfaction
of all present; sorrow has not so blunted all other feelings in
relations and friends as to make them relax their lynx eyed vigilance
of every motion of the undertaker while performing the delicate
duties of his avocation.
He must be endowed with the soft touch of a woman in the handling
of the dear remains; his work must be performed in silence, with
soft tread and expedition; his presence in the house is a constant
reminder to all of the irreparable loss which has bereft the family
of one of its members.
He must be quick of perception and ready of expedients, as there is
often no time left for reflection. To hesitate at times would be
taken for ignorance, and prompt action is the only means at hand to
retrieve himself.
A clear head and a cool judgment are among the most necessary
qualities. Urbane and affable in his manners; your first-class
professional is an accomplished gentleman; his knowledge of the
world and daily contact with people of all conditions allow him to
assimilate himself with quiet dignity with persons of all rank in the
social scale of life.
Well dressed, yet without ostentation, punctual in his engagements,
without the flurry of general transactions, he will treat his more
wealthy customers with deferential politeness without cringing, as
also will he bring in his dealings with his more modest patrons
none of the _hauteur_ characteristic of a narrow mind and a lack of
education.
Perfect equanimity of temper is a transcendent virtue in an
undertaker. Mistakes and delays will happen in spite of the most
careful preparations and the best laid plans; accidents, unforeseen
and unthought of, will occur suddenly; it is then that a clear headed
man will find some prompt means to remedy all before any one of those
present has taken notice of anything amiss.
Good taste is also eminently one of the requisite attributes to
be displayed in the easy, informal laying out of the remains, the
attitude of repose devoid of the conventional rigidity of limbs; in
the chaste trimmings of the casket, rich with elegance, but without
overloading with useless ornaments. How many so-called undertakers
will calculate the beauty of a casket by the accumulation of silver
ornaments promiscuously scattered on the top and sides; to such the
profusion of flashy trimmings is the standard of elegance.
The floral decorations either in the house or the church must also be
in accordance with the spirit of the scene. Good taste will likewise
dictate to the undertaker that any attempt at a lachrymose or woe
begone cast of countenance on his part, will not be regarded by his
patrons as a criterion of his sympathies for the bereaved family, but
rather as a hypocritical mask assumed for the occasion. A decorous,
quiet bearing is by far better appreciated by friends and mourners.
The master head of a really good undertaker will show itself in every
small detail and appointment of a funeral pageant; the carriages
will quietly form without confusion, and either receive or deliver
their occupants without orders being vociferously shouted from one
end to the other of the line; everything will work without bluster or
any noise which may grate harshly upon the ears of sorrow stricken
friends or parents.
On the contrary, how is it with one who is not a proficient? His
advent into the house of mourning is heralded by unusual bluster,
and the often contradictory orders given to an assistant. Questions
without number are asked from friends of the family or those present,
about the time of the funeral, number of carriages required, etc.,
inquiries which are altogether out of place at the time, and ought to
be postponed until those having charge of the arrangements will make
the wishes of the family known to the undertaker, at his office or
place of business.
Nervousness is manifest with some as soon as they commence handling
a corpse, and is apparent through all the details of a funeral. Let
any incident take place and everything is immediately thrown into
hopeless confusion, as the undertaker himself feels more at fault
than any one else.
With others, again, a funeral is made a public display of their
personal authority; it is to them an occasion to conspicuously show
in an ostentatious manner that the job is theirs; the management of
it in their hands; they intend to run it according to their notions,
with the utmost disregard of anyone else’s wishes in the matter. The
undertaker is, however, but a public servant; a well-bred man will
not try to coerce people into following his own ideas in regard to
certain matters and utterly disregard their views of the same.
A direct conflict with the mourners in regard to some point of
funeral etiquette will not place the undertaker in a very enviable
position, whereas a sensible suggestion, deferentially offered
to their better judgment, will win a ready assent and establish
his reputation as a man thoroughly posted and well qualified for
the business. Should the point be insisted upon by the family,
and although it may be, in the undertaker’s opinion, a breach of
established rules or customs, it is his duty to quietly submit and
thereby show his moral sense of the solemnity of the occasion, which
is ill-timed for a controversy of any kind.
Some undertakers have been known to extol the cheapness of their
wares in the house of mourning, drawing aside some of those present
and stating confidentially that such a casket never was sold so
low, and were it not for the particular regard they entertain for
the family, the regular price would have been charged. This mode
of philanthropic advertising has seldom brought any trade to the
one that had resorted to it. The best advertising medium for an
undertaker consists in the manner his business is carried on, in
the style and appointments of his livery, and above all in his
own deportment in public, the integrity of his character, and his
punctuality in meeting his business engagements.
As the assertion was made at the beginning of this chapter that every
man cannot be an undertaker, the above enumerated qualities requisite
to the make up of a first-class professional will prove conclusively
that such is the case.
Before fully entering upon the text forming the subject of this book,
I have thought it advisable as an introduction, to stimulate the
zeal of undertakers in self-improvement by illustrating, in brief
outlines, the necessary qualities of a popular sexton and exposing
_per contra_ the faults others are guilty of. Let not therefore, the
reader accuse me of severe criticism, for my aim has been only to try
and elevate our profession above its common standard.
That the duties of an undertaker require a larger quota of delicacy,
tact, and knowledge of human nature than generally falls to the lot
of most men, no one will deny; but it is also a well known fact that,
unless he be the busiest professional in one of the largest cities,
an undertaker has ample time for SELF-IMPROVEMENT and CULTURE.
It is high time the business of undertaking be truly, and really,
raised to the rank of a profession; let every undertaker be convinced
that his calling is a solemn and responsible one, and our ranks will
soon be free from the few interlopers who, so far, have impeded our
progress toward a just recognition from the public for a class of men
whose services are often very little short of self-sacrifice.
The physician has an office of great responsibility thrust upon him;
into his hands we blindly confide the lives of relations and friends,
hoping and expecting that his medical knowledge, his experience and
skill, may save the existence of some one dear to us.
And after science has been baffled and death claims his victim, the
undertaker is the one to whom we look to perform the last sad duties.
To him we intrust the care of the beloved remains, relying entirely
upon his experience and good judgment in such matters, to carry out
in a manner becoming to this age of christian feeling, the ceremonial
of sepulture with the deferential respect due to the dead.