Should tropical weather continue, let dusted, wooden-pavemented, sore
throated, weary Londoner, take train Sunday Morning 11 A.M. Victoria, or
rather let train take _him_, right away to Dover, where he will at once
step on board the _Calais-Douvres_, and get one hour and a quarter's
worth of ozone into his system. Then at 2.15 he will land at Calais,
when, free of baggage, wraps, and all such-like _impedimenta_, he will
walk into the buffet of the hotel, and having made his choice from many
excellent things there set before him, he will proceed to walk into his
_dejeuner a la fourchette_, for which meal he will have ample time,
seeing that the _Calais-Douvres_ does not start on its return voyage
till 3.45. After _dejeuner_ comes the _fourchette_, or "fork out,"
which, if the voyageur be wisely content with the _ordinaire_, will
amount to a very moderate sum. Then, exclaiming with the ancient pirate
of bye-gone nautical melodrama, "Once aboard the lugger and we are
free," he will saunter, leisurely, with cigar, pipe, or cigarette,
according to the taste and fancy of the smoker, down to the boat. There,
if he be wise and wary, he will at once re-embark, in order to secure a
comfortable arm-chair in a good position, long before any trains bearing
hot and dusty travellers from Belgium or Paris shall appear. There he
can sit, smoking calmly under a cool sunshade, placidly watching the
shooting of the luggage, which is unattended by any danger, each box
going off with a very slight noise, and he can calmly wonder at the
anxiety of the passengers. Then, farewell France, welcome back to the
shores of Old England, and the adventurous Briton will find himself
landed at Victoria Terminus by 7.15 or it may be 7.20, with another
ozonised appetite, ready for a dinner _chez lui_,--or _chez_ anybody
who'll give him one,--and afterwards, sufficiently tired, neither fagged
nor weary, he will be certain of a good sleep at an early hour, and sure
to wake in the morning all the better and fresher for his outing and his
inn-ing.
[N. B.--Fine weather and gentle breeze taken for granted.]
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