(_By a University Extensionist._)
DEAR MR. PUNCH,--What a charming little theatre that is at Burlington
House! I missed you at the _matinees_ there a few days ago. Of course
you know the Travelling Provincial Company of the Universities' Guild
for the Extension of High-Class Comedy? Well, they visited the
Metropolis for their coming-of-age, and gave the new extravaganza of
_Hodge, B. Sc._, or _The Vision of Peers and the Plowman_. This had
nothing to do with _Jupiter, LL. D._, though no fewer than three noble
Chancellors took a leading part at the different performance. After all
it was nothing but a dished-up version of the old play of _Gentleman
Geordie_, or _The Cultured Collier_; only the pitman business is a
little played out, and the victim of Agricultural Enlightment is just
now the vogue, thanks to the County Councils.
But what interest, you will say, _can_ this weary work have for "the
young person" (is not that the phrase?). Why should ETHEL and I and the
other country cousins, who are up to have a good time, waste our
precious moments on University Extension, when they might have been
given to the galleries, or, better still, to the shops? Dear _Mr.
Punch_, you will not betray my confidence and print my real name, _will_
you, if I tell you the reason? I do so in the hope that you will use
your great and good influence to support our claim for State aid in a
matter deeply interesting us girls in the provinces.
I have always thought that the most important object of University
Extension has been overlooked. It certainly was the other day. I mean
this. In the present unparalleled depression of the matrimonial market,
what we want is a constant supply of nice, eligible young men from the
University "brought home to our very doors," as they say about culture
and the people. We cannot _all_ live in garrison towns, and what are two
or three curates among so many? Already, as I have seen in one of the
magazines for young ladies, the cleric cloth is being supplanted in
romantic fiction by the lay lecturer's velveteen. But we must have State
said, and, if necesary, create a fresh Government Department, for the
increase and support of this class of men. The profession would be very
popular; those who joined it would keep marrying and moving on (I hope I
express myself intelligently), and there would soon be enough to go
round.
ETHEL'S papa, who is not very rich, and has a large family, told her
that people in Rome who married, and had three children, got a sort of
degree for it, and were let off taxes. It seems to me that the scheme
for State aid which I suggest is a much more modest one.
A man that played the title-role in _Hodge, B. Sc_., gave vent to what I
considered a very stupid sentiment. "Give us," he said, "some really
useful and sensible instruction, not silly lectures about Love and
Marriage, just to make people laugh!" This only shows how dreadfully
void of finer feeling is your man of Agricultural Enlightenment. Why, we
once had a _delightful_ course on almost the very subjects at which he
was ignorantly pleased to scoff! It was given by an interesting-looking
young graduate from St. Valentine's, and was called "Byron and Shelley,
with dissolving views." I remember well the questions set by him for one
of the weekly papers. Shall I repeat them? He had just been lecturing on
_Don Juan_.
1. Give in alphabetical order the chief attractions of the Hero of our
poem.
2. Cite parallels to _Don Juan_ among the gentleman friends of your
acquaintance _other than Extension Lecturers_.
3. Contrast the character (if any) of _Haidee_ with that of (_a_) _The
Maid of Athens_, (_b_) _Queen Mab_.
I took a lot of pains over this paper, and I sent the lecturer an
anonymous button-hole, with a request (in the same handwriting as
on the answer-paper) that he would wear my floral tribute at
lecture. He did so, and expressed himself as greatly pleased with
my work. On my exercise (which I have kept) he wrote the following
observation:--"Excellent; most appreciative and womanly; I thank you;
should like to discuss a small question with you after class."
Now we want more of this spirit among Extension Lecturers. True, the one
of whom I spoke turned out afterwards to have been married all the time,
and I _do_ think he should have mentioned it on the cover of his
syllabus; but the principle holds good just the same.
So, dear _Mr. Punch_, on this question of State aid, at which I have (as
I hope with delicacy) hinted above, you _will_ help us, won't you?
Your devoted, MADGE.
P.S.--Couldn't _you_ lecture to us on something nice, and help to raise
a fund for our scheme?
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[Illustration: MR. PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATED LAW REPORTS.