CONFIDENCE.
Whilst Mattie read to her fellow-workman, consolation was also being
attempted in the drawing-room that she had quitted. Consolation
attempted by the father after awhile to his son.
After awhile, for an hour passed before a word was exchanged, and Sidney
Hinchford still held the newspaper before him, staring at it, without
comprehending a word. A singular position for him to adopt; a youth of
twenty, who never wasted time, who had always something on his hands to
fill up his evenings at home, who was very often too busy to play
backgammon with his father.
That father was troubled; his heart was in his son's peace of mind;
there was nothing that he would not have sacrificed for it, had it lain
in his power. His pride was in his son's advancement, his son's ability,
and he fancied that a great trouble had occurred at the business to
change the scene in which both played their parts. He was less
strong-minded and more nervous than he had been four years ago, and so
less affected him.
When the hour had passed, and he had grown tired of Sidney's silence, he
said, with something of his son's straightforwardness,
"What's the matter, Sid?"
Sidney crumpled the paper in his hands, and flung it on the table; he
was tired, even a little ashamed of his sullen deportment.
"A matter that I ought to keep to myself, it being a foolish one, sir,"
he answered; "but, if you wish, I will relate it."
"If _you_ wish, Sid," was the courteous answer; "I have no wish to hear
anything that you would desire to keep back from me. If you think I can
be of no use to you, give you no advice, offer no consolation that you
may think worthy of acceptance, and if," with a very wistful glance
towards him, "you consider it a matter that concerns yourself alone, why
I--I don't wish to intrude upon your confidence."
"I don't think that we have had any secrets from each other yet; I don't
see any reason why we should begin to get mysterious, father," Sidney
replied; "and so, here's the full, true, and particular account."
Mr. Hinchford edged his chair nearer to his son, the son turned and
looked his father in the face, blushing just a little at the beginning
of his narrative.
"It's an odd thing for one _man_ to tell another," he said quickly, "but
it's what you ought to know, and though it makes me wince a little, it's
soon over. I've been thinking of engaging myself to----"
"Not to another firm, Sid--_now_?" cried the father, as he paused.
"To Harriet Wesden, down-stairs."
"God bless me!"
Mr. Hinchford passed his hands through his scanty white hairs, stroked
his moustache, blew at an imaginary something in the air, loosened his
stock, and gasped a little. His son engaging himself to be married was a
new element to perplex him; he had never believed in human nature, or
the Hinchford nature, taking that turn for years and years. Once or
twice he had thought that his careful son might some day look around him
and _marry well_; but that at twenty years of age he should have fallen
in love, was a miracle that took some minutes to believe in.
"Well," he said at last.
"I should have said, father, that I had been thinking of an
engagement--a long one to end in a happy marriage, when there was fair
sailing for all of us--and that my thoughts found words when I least
expected them, and surprised Harriet by their suddenness. I told her I
loved her, and she told me that she didn't--and there's an end of it! We
need not speak of the affair again, you know."
"'And that she didn't!'" quoted the father, "why, that's more amazing
still!"
"On the contrary, that is the most natural part of it."
"And she really said--"
"She said that she did not want any more of my jaw--rather more
elegantly expressed, but that is what she meant. Well, I _was_ a fool!"
Mr. Hinchford sat and reflected, becoming graver every instant. He did
not attempt to make light of the story, to treat it as one of those
trifles 'light as air,' which a breath would disperse. His son's was
neither a frivolous nor a romantic nature, and he treated even his
twenty years with respect. Mr. Hinchford was astonished also at his own
short-sightedness; the strangeness of this love passage darting across
the monotony of his quiet way, without a flash from the danger signal by
way of hint at its approach. He saw how it was to end, very clearly now,
he thought; Harriet Wesden and his son would contract an early
engagement, marry in haste, and cut him off by a flank movement, from
his son's society. He saw the new loves replacing the old, and himself,
white-haired and feeble, isolated from the boy to whom his heart
yearned. He scarcely knew how he had idolized his son, until the
revelation of this night. Still he was one of the least selfish men in
the world; Sidney's happiness first, and then the thought how best to
promote his own.
After a few more questions and answers, Mr. Hinchford mastered the
position of affairs. Harriet Wesden loved his boy--that was a certainty,
and to be expected--and her timid embarrassment at Sid's sudden
proposal, and her nervous escape from it, were but natural in that sex
which poor Sid knew so little concerning. And the Wesdens, _pere et
mere_, why, they would be proud of the match; for Sid's abilities would
make a gentleman of him, and Sid in good time--all in good time--would
raise the stationer's daughter to a position, of which she might well be
proud! He liked the Wesdens, but heigho!--he had looked forward to his
boy doing better in the world, finding a wife more suitable for him in
the future.
It was all plain enough, but he furbished up his philosophy,
nevertheless--that odd philosophy which at variance with his brighter
thoughts, sought to prepare those to whom it appealed for the worst that
might happen. He looked at the worst aspect of things, whilst his heart
had not a doubt of the best; he would have prepared all the world for
the keenest disappointments, and been the man to give way most, and to
be the most astounded at the result, had his prophecies come true. Years
ago he foretold Mattie's ingratitude and duplicity in return for his
patronage; but he had not believed a word of his forebodings. He had
told his son not to build upon so improbable a thing as a partnership
with his employers at so early an age; but he was more feverishly
expectant than his son, and so positive that his son's abilities would
be thus rewarded, that his pride had expanded of late years, and he
talked more like the rich man he had been once himself.
Mr. Hinchford prepared his son for the worst that evening; and the son,
knowing his character, felt a shadow removed at every dismal conjecture
as to how the little love affair would terminate.
"You can't let it rest here, however bad it may turn out, Sid."
"No, of course not."
"You must see Harriet's father in the morning, and make a clean breast
of it; and then if he turn you off with a short word--feeling himself a
rich man, and above the connection--why, you will put up with it
gravely, and like a Hinchford. There are a great many things against
your chances, my boy."
"We're both too young, perhaps," suggested Sidney, more dolefully.
"Years too young," was the reply; "and people have unpleasant habits of
changing their minds--and then what a fix it would be, Sid! Why, Harriet
Wesden's not eighteen till next month--quite a child!"
"No, I'm hanged if she is!" burst forth Sidney.
"Well then, you're but a boy, after all; and these long and early
engagements are bad things for both. But still as it has come, you must
speak to the old people; and if they have no objection--which I think
they will have--and Harriet is inclined to accept you--which I think she
isn't--why, make the best of it, work on in the old sure and steady
fashion--you're worth waiting for, my lad."
"Thank you, dad," was the reply; "you're very kind, but your opinion of
me is not the world's. I'm a cross-grained, unforgiving, disagreeable
person--there!"
"In your enemy's estimation--but your friends?"
"I don't know that I have any."
"Oh! we shall see--and if you have not any abroad," he added, "you must
put up with the old one at home, Sid."
"He will put up with me, I hope; he will remember that I have only him
yet awhile to tell my hopes and fears to, standing in the place of the
mother."
"Ah! the good mother, lost so early to us!--she should have heard this
story, Sid."
The old man snatched up the paper and began reading; the son turned to
his own work at last, and was soon buried in accounts. But the paper was
uninteresting, and the accounts foggy; after awhile both gave it up, and
talked again of the old subject. Sid's full heart overflowed that night,
and his reticence belonged not to it; he was sure of sympathy with his
feelings, and had the mother--ever a gentle and dear listener--been at
his side, he could not have more fully dwelt upon the love which had
troubled him so long, and which he had kept so well concealed. It had
grown with his growth; Harriet's playfellow, Harriet's brother, finally
Harriet's lover. Page after page, chapter after chapter of the story
which begins ever the same, and only darts off at a tangent when the
crisis, such as his, comes in due course, to end in various
ways--happily, deplorably--in the sunshine of comedy, the mystery of
melodrama, the darkness of tragedy, taking its hues from the
"surroundings," and giving us poor scribes no end of subjects to write
upon.
Mr. Hinchford was a patient listener; other men might have been wearied
by the romantic side to a love-sick youth's character; but Sid was a
part of himself, and he had no ambition, no hope in which his son did
not stand in the foreground, a bright figure to keep him rejoicing.
Supper served and over, Sidney retired to his share in the double-bedded
room at the back--the shabby room with which Mr. Hinchford had lately
grown disgusted, and even wished to quit, knowing not his son's reason
for remaining--leaving the father to fill his after-supper pipe before
the fire. Mr. Hinchford was in a reflective, wide-awake mood, and not
inclined for rest just then; he sat with his slippered feet on the
fender, puffing away at his meerschaum. Had he not promised his son to
keep away from Mr. Wesden until the _denouement_ had been brought about
by Sid's own method, he would have gone down stairs and talked it over
with the old people; but the promise given, he would sit there and think
of his son's chances, and pray for them, as they were nearest his heart
then.
He was a father who understood human nature a little, not so much as he
fancied himself, but who was, nevertheless, a man of discernment, when
his simple vanity did not stand in the way.
He had not thought deeply of Harriet Wesden before; now that there
loomed before him the prospect of calling her "daughter," he conjured up
every reminiscence connected with her, and set himself to think whether
such a girl were likely to make Sid happy, or to love Sid as that
pure-hearted, honest lad deserved. He was astonished, after a while, at
the depth of his researches into the past; he could remember her a
light-hearted child, a vivacious girl, now, presto, a woman, whom Sid
sought for a wife; he could see her flitting before him, a pretty girl,
swayed a little by the impulse of the hour, and verging on extremes; he
called to mind certain traits of character that had struck him more than
once, and had then been forgotten in the hurrying passage of events
foreign to her; he sat studying an abstruse volume, and perplexing
himself with its faintly written characters. Mothers have had such
thoughts, and made them the business of a life, sorrowing and rejoicing
over them, and praying for their children's future; seldom fathers,
before whom are ever the counting-house in the City, the bargains to be
made in the mart or on the exchange, the accommodation to be had at the
bankers'.
Hinchford thought like a woman; he was a clerk whose business thoughts
ended when he came home at night, and he was alone in the world with one
hope. All the old worldly thoughts lay apart from him, and the
affections of paternity were stronger within him in consequence. He
lived for Sid, not for himself.
He was still in a brown study, when the shuffling feet of Mrs. Wesden,
being assisted up-stairs by her husband to the top back room, disturbed
him for an instant; then the rustle of a dress, and the light footfall
of the daughter, assured him of Harriet's retirement. All was still in
that crowded house which he had wished to exchange a year ago for a
house in the suburbs, suitable to the united salaries of himself and
boy. He thought of that wish, and sighed to think it had not been
carried out, for, after all, he was not quite satisfied with the turn
affairs had taken.
The door opened suddenly and startled his nerves. He turned a scared
face towards the intruder, who jumped a little at the sight of him
sitting before the grate, black, yawning and uninviting at that hour.
"I thought you had gone, Mr. Hinchford," said Mattie; "I came for the
supper tray and to tidy up a bit here, and save time in the morning."
"How's Ann?" he asked absently.
"Better, I think," replied Mattie, still standing at the door.
"You can clear away--I'm going in a minute. How's the evening school,
girl?"
"Why, I have left it this twelvemonth!"
"To be sure--I had forgotten that you had learned all that they could
teach you, and had become too much of a woman. Why, we shall hear of you
being married next."
"Who's going to be married _now--Mr. Sidney_?"
"Confound you! how sharp you are," said Mr. Hinchford a little dismayed;
"no, I never said so--mind I never said a word, so don't let us have any
ridiculous tattling."
"I never tattle," said Mattie in an offended tone. "Oh! Mr. Hinchford,"
she added suddenly, "you can always trust _me_ with anything."
"I hope so, Mattie--I hope so."
"And if Mr. Sidney thinks of marrying our Harriet, you may trust me not
to let the people round here know a word about it. Not a word, sir!" she
repeated, with pursed lips.
Mr. Hinchford ran his hands through his hair, and loosened his stock
again. He was confused, he had betrayed his hand, and made a mess of it,
or else Mattie knew more than he gave her credit for, it was doubtful
which.
"Mattie," he said, after a while, when that young woman, rapid in her
movements, had packed the tray and was proceeding to retire with it.
"Yes, sir."
She left the table and came nearer to him.
"Whatever made you think that my dear boy was likely to--to take a fancy
to Harriet?"
"I've noticed that he talks to her a good deal, and comes into the back
parlour a great deal, and brightens up when she speaks to him, and you
can see his eyes dancing away behind the little spectacles he's taken
to--and very becoming they are, sir."
"Very," asserted the old gentleman.
"And he's always dull when she's out, and fidgets till he knows where
she has gone, and tries to make me tell; and so I've fancied, oh! ever
so long, that Harriet and he would make a match of it some day."
He was amazed at this girl ascertaining the truth before himself, but he
retained his cool demeanour.
"Some long day hence, mayhap--who can tell?"
"Love's as uncertain as life--isn't it, sir?"
"Ahem--yes."
"At least, I've read so," corrected Mattie. "It's a thing I shall never
understand, Mr. Hinchford."
"Time enough--time enough, my girl."
"But our Harriet, she's pretty, she's a lady, she's meant to be loved by
everybody she meets, and she's the only one that's good enough to marry
_him_."
She lowered her voice at the last word, and made a quick movement with
her hand in the direction of the adjoining room.
"You are very fond of Harriet, Mattie?" said Mr. Hinchford, curiously.
"As I need be, sir, surely."
"Ah! surely--she is amiable and kind."
"Always so, I think."
"A little thoughtless, perhaps--eh?"
He was curious concerning Harriet Wesden now--no match-making mother
could have taken more indirect and artful means to elicit the truth
concerning her child's elect.
"Why, that's it!" exclaimed Mattie; "that's why Mr. Sidney ought to
marry her."
"Oh! is it?"
"You'll see, sir," said Mattie, suddenly drawing a chair close to Mr.
Hinchford, and assuming a position on the edge thereof; "you'll soon
see, sir, what I mean by that."
"Yes--yes."
It was a strange picture, with an odd couple in the foreground; Harriet
Wesden, Sidney Hinchford, or afflicted Ann Packet, coming in suddenly,
would have been puzzled what to make of it. The burlesque side to the
scene did not strike Mr. Hinchford till long afterwards; the slight
figure of the girl on the chair before him, the rapid manner in which
she expounded her theory, her animation, sudden gestures, and, above
all, his own intense interest in the theme, and forgetfulness of the
confidence he placed in her by his own absorbent _pose_. He had put his
pipe aside, and, open-mouthed and round-eyed, was drinking in every
word, clutching his knees with his hands, meanwhile.
"Mr. Sidney isn't thoughtless. He's careful, and he has a reason for
everything, and he will keep her from harm all her life. She'll be the
best and brightest of wives to him, if they should ever marry, which I
do hope and pray they will, sir, soon. I'm sure there are no two who
would make a happier couple, and oh!--to see them happy," clapping her
hands together, "what would _I_ give!"
"You haven't lost your interest in us, then, Mattie?"
"When I forget the prayers that Mrs. Wesden taught me, or the first
words of yours that set me thinking that I might grow good, or all the
kindness which everybody in this house has shown for me, then I shall
lose that, sir--not before!"
"You're an uncommon girl, Mattie."
"No, sir."
"You show an uncommon phase--great gratitude for little kindnesses. I'm
glad to see this interest in Harriet and my boy--perhaps they might do
worse than make a match of it. But--but," suddenly returning to the
subject which engrossed him, "hasn't it struck you--just a little, mind,
nothing to speak of--that Harriet Wesden is a trifle vain?"
"Wouldn't you be proud of your good looks, if you had any?" was the
sharp rejoinder.
"Um," coughed he, "I daresay I might."
"I should be always staring at myself in the glass if I had her
complexion, her golden hair, her lovely blue eyes. I should be proud to
think that my pretty face had made my happiness by bringing the thoughts
of such a son as yours to me."
"Ah! I didn't see it in that light," said he, tugging at his stock
again, "and I--I daresay everything will turn out for the best. We will
not dwell upon this any more, but let things take their course, and not
spoil them by interference, or by talking about them, Mattie."
"Don't fear me," said Mattie, rising.
"I don't think it is our place," he added, associating himself with
Mattie, to render his hints less personal, "to be curious about it, and
seek to pry into what is going on in the hearts of these young people.
Do you think now, Mattie, that she's inclined to be fond of--of my Sid?"
"I don't say she'd own it just now--but I think she is. Why shouldn't
she be?"
"Ah!--why, indeed. There's not a boy like him in the whole parish."
"No, sir."
"And Harriet Wesden will be a lucky girl."
"Ah! that she will!"
"And--and now good night, Mattie, and the less we repeat of this gossip
the better."
"Certainly--things had better take their course without _our_
interference."
"Yes," was the dry answer.
Mattie seized her tray, and prepared to depart. At the door, with her
burden _en avance_ she paused, went back to the table, replaced her
tray, and returned to Mr. Hinchford's side.
"Something happened to-night! The dear girl has been disturbed--I hope
Mr. Sidney has not been in a hurry, and----"
"Hush! I don't think he's asleep. Good night--good night."
"When _she_ was a year younger, it was hard work to keep back what was
in her heart from me; but she's growing older in her ways, and better
able to understand that I'm only a poor servant, after all. I don't
complain," said Mattie, "she's always kind and good to me, but she's my
mistress's daughter, rather than the sister--or something like the
sister--that used to be. And I do so like to know everything, sir!"
"So it seems," remarked Mr. Hinchford.
"Everything that concerns her, I mean--because I might be of help when
she least expected it. And so Mr. Sidney has told her all about it
to-night?"
"I never said so," cried the embarrassed old gentleman.
"Well, I only guess at it," answered Mattie; "I shall soon come to the
rights of it, if I keep a good look out."
She caught up her tray again and marched to the door to ponder anew. Mr.
Hinchford writhed on his chair--would this loquacious diminutive help
never go down-stairs and leave him in peace? She asked no more
questions, however.
"And to think that what I fancied would happen is all coming round like
a story-book, just as I hoped it would be for her sake--for his
sake--years and years ago! How nicely things come round, sir, don't
they?"
"Don't they!" he re-echoed.
Mattie departed, and the old gentleman blew at invisibility in the air
once more.
"How that girl does talk!--it is her one fault--loquacity. If she can
only find a listener, she's happy. And yet, when I come to consider it,
that girl's always happy--for she's thankful and content. And things are
coming nicely round, she says--well, I hope so!"