ON A CROSS BENCH.--The Union of Hearts does not seem to have
spread as far as Limerick, if the meetings of the Limerick Rural
Sanitary Board are any test. One member expressed an opinion that the
Conservative Government would do as much for the labourers as the Whig
Government had done.
Mr. M'MAHON.--We'll give them a chance.
Mr. M'INERNEY.--We have got very little out of the Liberal
Government.
Mr. MORAN.--Bad is the best of them.
The discussion then ended.
This is unkind to Mr. MORLEY. Perhaps a stave of a popular
Irish melody will run thus,--
Och, these dhrivellin' Saxon Governments,
They dhroive us patriots mad!
The worst of 'em's unspakable,
And the best of 'em is bad!
* * * * *
"A LITTLE MORE CIDER TOO."--"The National Association of Cider
Makers," says the _Bristol Mercury_, "is taking energetic measures
to ensure more attention being given to the cider competitions at
agricultural shows." And it can't make its measures too energetic--not
even if it turns an average consumption of a pint-measure into a quart.
What beverage beats cider cup--unless it be perry cup? At present the
only people at the shows who are allowed to taste the cider are the
judges. But the public want to taste, too--give them a taste _of_
cider, and they'll get a taste _for_ it in no time. And rival makers
want to taste each other's products, so as to make their own better.
"Cider on tap" is the motto for the shows, and the West country will
thus be given a deciderdly useful "leg-up."
* * * * *
PUERIS REVERENTIA!--The advertisement question in tram-cars is
"up" again before the Glasgow bailies. The Town Council has banished
these disfigurements, but it seems there are still Philistine bodies
who long for the good old flaring coloured-poster days. Witness this
account of a recent meeting:--
Mr. BATTERSBY pointed out that a large revenue could be
derived from advertisements on the cars, and he did not see why the
committee should look over such a thing.
Bailie PATON said that personally he was dead against putting
advertisements on the cars. If any necessity arose they had that
source of revenue. He would not spoil the beautiful appearance of the
cars by vulgarising them.
Mr. BATTERSBY.--That is all sentiment of a very puerile
description.
Perhaps. But as there happens to be a large balance to the good on
the working of the cars, why not allow the "puerile sentiment" to
have play? We could do with a lot of this kind of puerility and
sentimentality down south.
* * * * *
GOOD OLD SAM!--Our belief even in the "respectability" of
SAMUEL PEPYS is gone for ever. The Bright light recently
thrown on him by the indefatigable MYNORS BRIGHT has done
the trick. This skilled and uncompromising decipherer of the Pepysian
shorthand will be remembered in connection with these volumes as
"_Under_-MYNORS BRIGHT."
* * * * *
APPROPRIATE SPOT FOR A PROVINCIAL BICYCLE CLUB.--Some Rural
Wheellage in the Wheel'd of Kent.
* * * * *
[Illustration: WHAT, INDEED!
"LOOK HERE, DOCTOR, MY SON WANTS ME TO SEND HIM TO _COLLEGE_, AND
HE SPELLS IT _COLIDGE_. WHY HAVEN'T YOU TAUGHT HIM BETTER?"
"AH--I'M AFRAID THAT MERE SPELLING IS NOT TAUGHT IN OUR
CURRICULUM!"
"THEN WHAT ON EARTH _IS_ TAUGHT IN YOUR CURRICULUM?"
[_The Doctor suddenly remembers that the Sixth Form are waiting for
his Lecture on Sophocles._]
* * * * *