[_A letter from the Proprietor of the Ginger Cubes to his Advertising
Manager, who is ill in hospital._]
DEAR RUSSELL: I am glad to hear from Dr. Nichevo that you are doing
well. He reports that in your delirium you had visions of nothing but
full page insertions, so I realize that you must have been a very sick
man. I am glad you are coming out of it. The Doctor says that a little
quiet meditation on business problems will help to bring you back to
“normalcy.”
So you might think this over. I have just been telling the boys at
our conference this morning that I want our advertising matter for
the Ginger Cubes to be distinguished. I’ve been much impressed, for
instance, by those ads that Childs restaurants have been running for
some time, in which they make use of historians, philosophers, poets,
and what not, to introduce the topic of food. I am wondering whether,
in your extensive reading, you have come across any literature in which
Ginger or Cubes have been written about in a pleasing, sentimental
strain? Miss Balboa thinks that Shakespeare said something about Ginger
being “hot in the mouth,” but I am a little afraid of that word hot.
How about
+--------------------------+
|THESE CUBES FROM THE SOUTH|
| ARE WARM IN THE MOUTH |
+--------------------------+
What I want you to do is tell me what the resources of literature are
in the way of quotations about Ginger.
Some of the boys are much taken by a suggestion that has come in from
the Gray Matter Advertising Agency, who somehow got wind of our plans.
Mr. Gray, the Psychology Director of Gray Matter Agency, wants us to
mark the cubes with little spots of white sugar, so that they look like
dice. Here’s the joker: he wants us to pack them in little boxes in
which half the cubes will be marked as five-spots and half as deuces,
using the slogan, They Always Turn Up Seven.
That seems to me a bit complicated, but I must admit that I’m rather
struck by the idea of advertising the Cubes as Digestive Dice. I’m
having the idea of marking them with sugar spots looked into, to see
what it will cost. I visualize a subway poster showing the cubes
tumbling out of a dice shaker, with the words Throw These for Good
Health. Do you think that is too distinctly masculine an appeal? But
think of getting this idea across to the lunching public, of always
carrying a box of the Ginger Cubes in their vest pocket (we could have
the box shaped like a little dice-shaker, hey?), they can use them to
throw for who is to pay the check, and then eat them. Can you put that
thought in twelve words?
What a pity that neither of us is married, and has no wife to fall
back on for advice in this delicate matter. Miss Balboa, my new
stenographer, thinks that women would not be attracted by this gambling
note; she says that women are born Dutch-treaters, and do not fall for
the idea of settling the lunch-check by mere chance. Please see what
the hospital nurses think about this.
This man Gray, from the Gray Matter Agency, is a whirlwind. He has shot
in some suggestive layouts for car-cards that make my head spin. These
are some of his aspirations--
+-----------------------+
| DIGESTIVE DICE |
|MEAN LUCK FOR THE LIVER|
| TRY GINGER CUBES |
+-----------------------+
+-----------------------+
|FOR A CHEW IN THE TUBES|
| CHOOSE GINGER CUBES |
+-----------------------+
And he has doped out a map showing the whole digestive apparatus laid
out like a subway system, and the Ginger Cubes keep traffic moving.
All this seems to me a bit too unconventional, although I confess I am
amused by the originality. Tell me what your reaction is. I’m sending
you some of the Cubes to distribute among the nurses.
Yours,
NICHOLAS RIBSTONE,
President The Ginger Cubes Corporation.