At the post-office there was a letter for Mrs. Irving. Lynn took it,
with a lump rising in his throat, for, though he had never seen her
handwriting, he knew, through a sixth sense, that it was from Iris.
Evidently, it was a brief communication, for the envelope contained not
more than a single sheet. The straight, precise slope of the address had
an old-fashioned air. It was very different from the modern angular hand
which demands a whole line for two or three words.
In some way, it brought her nearer to him, and in the shadow of the
maple, just outside the house, he kissed the superscription before he
took it in.
He waited, consciously, while his mother read it. It was little more
than a note, saying that she was established in a hall bedroom in a
city boarding-house, where she had the use of the piano in the parlour,
and that she was taking two lessons a week and practising a great deal.
She gave the name of her teacher, said she was well, and sent kind
remembrances to all who might inquire for her.
With a woman's insight, Margaret read heartache between the lines. She
knew that the note was brief because Iris did not dare to trust herself
to write more. There was no mention of Lynn, but it was not because she
had forgotten him.
Margaret gave the letter to Lynn, then turned away, that she might not
see his face. "I shall write this afternoon," she said. "Shall I send
any message for you?"
"No," returned Lynn, with a short, bitter laugh, "I have no message to
send."
Her heart ached in sympathy, for by her own sorrow she measured the
depth of his. She knew that the elasticity of youth would fail
here--that Lynn was not of those who forget.
"Son," she said, gently, "I wish I might bear it for you."
"I wouldn't let you, mother, even if you could. You have had enough as
it is. Herr Kaufmann says you have always shielded me and that it was a
mistake."
Had it been a mistake? Margaret thought it over after Lynn went away.
She had shielded him--that was true. He had never learned by painful
experience anything from which she had the power to save him. If his
father had lived----
For the first time, Margaret thought of her freedom as a doubtful
blessing. Then, once more, she took the jewelled thought from its
hiding-place in her inmost heart. There was no hint of alloy there--it
was radiant with its own unspeakable beauty.
Lynn went to the post-office to mail the letter. East Lancaster
considered post-boxes modern innovations which were reckless and
unjustifiable. Suppose a stranger should be passing through East
Lancaster, break open a post-box, and feloniously extract a private
letter? What if the box should blow away? When a letter was placed in
the hands of the accredited representative of the Government, one might
be sure that it was safe, but not otherwise.
Doctor Brinkerhoff was talking with the postmaster, but he left him to
speak to Lynn. "Miss Iris," he began, eagerly, "you have perhaps heard
from her?"
"Yes," answered Lynn, dully, fingering the letter.
"Is she quite well?"
Briefly, Lynn told him what Iris had written.
"It was kind to send remembrances to all who might inquire," mused the
Doctor. "That is like my foster-daughter; she is always thinking of
others. She knew that I would be the first to ask. If you will give me
the address, it will be a pleasure to me to write to her. She must be
quite lonely where she is."
Lynn told him. Her letter was at home, but every syllable of it, even
the prosaic address, was written in letters of fire upon his brain.
"Thank you," said the Doctor, as he took it down in his memorandum book;
"I shall write to-night. Shall I give her any word from you?"
"No!" cried Lynn.
"Ah," laughed the Doctor, "I understand. You write yourself. Well, I
will tell her a letter is coming. Good afternoon!"
He moved away, leaving Lynn cold from head to foot. He was tempted to
call the Doctor back, to ask him not to mention his name to Iris, then
he reflected that an explanation would be necessary. In any event, Iris
would understand. She would know that he did not intend to write--that
he had sent no message.
But, three days later, it was fated that Iris should tremble at the
sight of Lynn's name in a letter from East Lancaster. "I think he will
write soon," Doctor Brinkerhoff had said. "Mr. Irving is a very fine
gentleman and I have deep respect for him."
"Write to me!" repeated Iris. "He would not dare! Why should he write to
me?" She put the letter aside and read over those three anonymous
communications of Lynn's, making a vain effort to associate them with
his personality.
Meanwhile, Lynn was learning endurance. He slept but fitfully, awaking
always with the sense of choking and of a hand pulling at his heart. He
saw Iris everywhere. There was no room in the house, except his own,
that was not full of her and of the faint, elusive perfume which seemed
a part of her. Sometimes those ghostly images haunted him until he
could bear no more. Margaret often saw him throw down the book he was
reading and dash outdoors. For an hour, perhaps, he had not turned a
page, and the book was a flimsy pretence at best.
He had not touched his violin since Iris went away. More than anything
else, it spoke to him of her. "Trickster with the violin" seemed written
upon it for all the world to read. Dimly, he knew that work was the only
panacea for heartache, but he could not bring himself to go on with his
mechanical practising.
Summer was drawing to its close. Already there was a single scarlet
bough in the maple at the gate, where the frost had set its signal and
its promise of return. Many of the birds had gone, and fairy craft of
winged seeds, the sport of every wind, drifted aimlessly about in search
of some final harbour.
Strangely, Lynn rather avoided his mother. He felt her sympathy, her
comprehension, and yet he shrank from her. She was gentle and patient,
responded readily to his every mood, and rarely offered a caress, yet he
continually shrank back within himself.
He had made no friends in East Lancaster, though he knew one or two
young men near his own age, but he kept so far aloof from them that they
had long since ceased to seek him out. He kept away from Doctor
Brinkerhoff, fearing talk of Iris, or some new complication, and even
the postmaster's kindly sallies fell upon deaf ears. He, too, missed
Iris, and often inquired for her, though he could not have failed to
note that no letters came for Lynn.
Almost in the first of the hurt, when it seemed the hardest to bear, he
had wondered whether it could be any worse if Iris were dead. All at
once, he knew that it would be; that the cold hand and the quiet heart
were the supreme anguish of loving, because there was no longer any
possibility of change. Swiftly, he understood how Iris had felt when
Aunt Peace died and he stood by, indifferent and unmoved.
In tardy atonement, he covered the grave in the churchyard with
flowers--the goldenrod and purple aster that marched side by side over
the hills to meet the frost, gay and fearless to the last.
He saw himself as he had been then, and his heart grew hot with shame.
"I don't wonder she called me a clod," he said to himself, "for that is
what I was."
In the maze of darkness through which he somehow lived, there was but
one ray of comfort--the Master. Lynn felt, vaguely, that here was
something upon which he might lean. He did not perceive that it was his
own individuality which Herr Kaufmann had in some way awakened, so prone
are we to confuse the person with the thing, the thought with the deed.
Day after day, he tramped over the hills around East Lancaster; day by
day, footsore and weary, he sought for peace along those sunlit fields.
At night, desperately tired and faint with hunger, he crept home, where
he slept uneasily, waking always with that hand of terror clutching at
his heart.
He went most frequently to the pile of rocks in the woods, a mile or
more from the house. There were no signs upon the bare earth around it;
seemingly no one went there but Lynn. Yet the suggestion of an altar was
openly made, from the wide ledge at the foundation, where one might
kneel, to the cross at the summit, rude, stern, and forbidding,
chiselled in the rock.
Here, many times, Lynn had found comfort. Someone else, whose heart
swelled, burned, and tried to escape, had cut that cross upon the
granite. Thus he came, by slow degrees, into an intimate, invisible
companionship.
Herr Kaufmann had ceased to speak of lessons, though Lynn went there
sometimes and sat by while he worked. The Master had admitted him to
that high fellowship which does not demand speech. For an hour or more,
Lynn might sit there, watching, and yet no word would be spoken. As with
Dr. Brinkerhoff, there were occasional visits in which nothing was said
but "Good afternoon" and "Good-bye."
Fraeulein Fredrika was always busy overhead with her manifold household
tasks, and seldom disturbed them by coming into the shop. Lynn wondered
if the house was never clean, and once put the question to Herr
Kaufmann.
"Mine house is always clean," he answered, "except down here. Twice in
every year, I allow Fredrika to come in mine shop with her cloths and
her brush and her pails. The rest of the time, it is mine own. If she
could clean here all the time, as upstairs, I think she would be more
happy. If you like to come in mine shop when I am not here, I am
willing. It is one quiet place where one can rest undisturbed and think
of many things. Fredrika would not care."
Weeks later, Lynn thought of the kindly offer. A storm was coming up,
and he remembered that the Master had spoken of driving to another town
with Dr. Brinkerhoff. "I have one violin," he had explained, "which was
ordered long ago and which is now finished. While the Herr Doctor visits
the sick, I will go on with mine instrument and perhaps obtain one more
pupil."
Fraeulein Fredrika answered his ring, and he asked, conventionally, for
Herr Kaufmann. "Mine brudder is not home," she said. "He will have gone
away, but I think not for long. You will perhaps come in and wait?"
"I will not disturb you," replied Lynn. "I will go down in the shop."
"But no," returned the Fraeulein, coaxingly. "Will you not stay with me?
I am with the loneliness when mine brudder is away. You will sit with
me? Yes? It will be most kind!"
Thus entreated, he could not refuse, and he sat down in the parlour,
awkward and ill at ease. His hostess at once proceeded to entertain
him.
"You think it will rain, yes?" she asked.
"Yes, I think so."
"Well, I do not," returned the Fraeulein, smiling. "I always think the
best. Let us wait and see which is right."
"We need rain," objected Lynn, turning uneasily in his chair.
"But not when mine brudder is out. He and the Herr Doctor will have gone
for a long drive. Mine brudder have finished one fine violin and the
Herr Doctor will visit the sick. Mine brudder's friend possesses great
skill."
Lynn looked moodily past her and out of the window. The Fraeulein changed
her tactics. "You have not seen mine new clothes-brush," she suggested.
"No," returned Lynn, unthinkingly, "I haven't."
"Then I will get him."
She came back, presently, and put it into Lynn's hand. It was made of
three strands of heavy rope, braided, looped to form a handle, tied with
a blue ribbon, and ravelled at the ends. "See," she said, "is it not
most beautiful?"
"Yes," agreed Lynn, absently.
"Miss Iris have told me how to make him."
Lynn came to himself with a start. "And this," she went on, pointing to
the gilded potato-masher that hung under the swinging lamp, "and
this,--but no, it is you who have made this for me. Miss Iris showed you
how." She pointed to the butterfly made so long ago, but still in its
pristine glory.
He said nothing, but by his face Fraeulein Fredrika saw that she had made
a mistake--that she had somehow been clumsy. After all, it was very
difficult, this conversing with gentlemen. Franz was easy to get along
with, but the others? She shook her head in despair, and immediately
relinquished the thought of entertaining Lynn.
She could not tell him that she had changed her mind, that she no longer
wanted him to sit with her, and that he could go down in the shop to
wait for Herr Kaufmann. Painfully, in the silence, she considered
several expedients, and at last her face brightened.
"Now that you are here," she said, "to guard mine house, it will be of a
possibility for me to go out for some vegetables for mine brudder's
dinner. He will have been very hungry from his long ride, and you see it
is not going to rain. You will excuse me for a short time, yes?"
"Gladly," answered Lynn, with sincerity.
"Then I need not fear to go. It will be most kind."
She had been gone but a few minutes when the storm broke. Lynn saw the
wild rain sweep across the valley with a sense of peaceful security
which was quite new to him. For some time, now, he would be
alone--alone, and yet sheltered from the storm.
Very often, after a deep experience, one looks upon the inanimate things
which were present at the beginning of it with wondering curiosity. The
crazy jug, the purple tidy embroidered with pink roses, and the gilded
potato-masher which swung back and forth when the wind shook the house,
were strangely linked with Destiny.
Here he had thoughtlessly touched the Cremona, and, for the time being,
made an enemy of the Fraeulein. Her dislike of him abated only when he
and Iris made her the hideous paper butterfly which illuminated a
corner. A flash of memory took him back to the day they made it, alone,
in the big dining-room. He saw the sweet seriousness in the girl's face
as she glued on the antennae, having chosen proper bits of an old ostrich
feather for the purpose.
And now, the dining-room was empty, save of the haunting shadows. Aunt
Peace was at rest in the churchyard, the fever at an end, and Iris--Iris
had gone, leaving desolation in her wake.
Only the butterfly remained--the flimsy, fragile thing that any passing
wind might easily have destroyed. The finer things of the spirit, that
are supposed to be permanent, had vanished. In their place, there was
only a heartache, which waxed greater as the days went by, and through
the long nights which brought no surcease of pain.
In the beginning, Lynn had felt himself absolutely alone. Now he began
to perceive that he had been taken into an invisible brotherhood. He was
like one in a crowded playhouse when the lights go out, isolated to all
intents and purposes, and yet conscious that others are near him,
sharing his emotions.
The thunders boomed across the valley and the lightnings rived the
clouds. The grey rain swirled against the windows and the house swayed
in the wind. Then, almost as suddenly as it had begun, the storm ceased,
and Lynn smiled.
Diamonds dripped from every twig, and the grass was full of them. The
laughter of happy children came to his ears, and a rainbow of living
light spanned the valley. Its floating draperies overhung the topmost
branches of the trees on the crest of the opposite hill, and picked out
here and there a jewel--a ruby, an opal, or an emerald, set in the
silvered framework of the leaves.
Lynn sighed heavily, for the beauty of it sent the old, remorseless pain
to surging through his heart. The Master's violin lay on the piano near
him, and he took it up, noting only that it was not the Cremona.
As his fingers touched the strings, there came a sense of familiarity
with the instrument, as one who meets a friend after a long separation.
He tightened the strings, picked up the bow, and began to play.
It was the adagio movement of the concerto--the one which Herr Kaufmann
had said was full of heartache and tears. In all the literature of
music, there was nothing so well suited to his mood.
He stood with his face to the window, his eyes still fixed upon the
rainbow, and deep, quivering tunes came from the violin. In an instant,
Lynn recognised his mastery. He was playing as the great had played
before him, with passion and with infinite pain.
All the beauty of the world was a part of it--the sun, the wide fields
of clover, and the Summer rain. Moonlight and the sound of many waters,
the unutterable midnights of the universe, Iris and the beauty of the
marshes, where her name-flower, like a thread of purple, embroidered a
royal tapestry. Beyond this still was the beauty of the spirit, which
believes all things, suffers all things, and triumphs at last through
its suffering and its belief.
Primal forces spoke through the adagio, swelling into splendid
chords--love and night and death. It was the cry of a soul in bondage,
straining to be free; struggling to break the chain and take its place,
by right of its knowledge and its compassion, with those who have
learned to live.
Lynn was quivering like an aspen in a storm, and he breathed heavily.
Through the majestic crescendo came that deathless message: "Endure, and
thou shalt triumph; wait, and thou shalt see." Like an undercurrent,
too, was the inseparable mystery of pain.
Under the spell of the music, he saw it all--the wide working of the law
which takes no account of the finite because it deals with the infinite;
which takes no heed of the individual because it guards us all. Far
removed from its personal significance, his grief became his friend--the
keynote, the password, the countersign admitting him to that vast
Valhalla where the shining souls of the immortals, outgrowing defeat,
have put on the garments of Victory.
Sunset took the rainbow and made it into flame. Once more Lynn played
the adagio, instinct with its world-old story, voicing its world-old
law. He was so keenly alive that the strings cut into his fingers, yet
he played on, fully comprehending, fully believing, through the splendid
chords of the crescendo to the end.
Then there was a faltering step upon the stair, a fumbling at the latch,
and someone staggered into the room. It was the Master, blind with
tears, his loved Cremona in his outstretched hands.
"Here!" he cried, brokenly. "Son of mine heart! Play!"