A FINAL VICTORY.
It was an afternoon in January, soon after the courts had begun to sit
again, and Mark was mounting the staircase to his new chambers with a
light heart--he had made his _début_ that day; the burden of the work
had fallen on him in the absence of his leader, and he felt that he
had acquitted himself with fair success. His father-in-law, too, had
happened to be at Westminster, and in a Common Law court that day; and
the altered tone of his greeting afterwards showed Mark that he had
been favourably impressed by what he had heard while standing for a
few minutes in the gangway. And now, Mark thought, he would go back to
Mabel at once and tell her how Fortune had begun to smile once more
upon him. But when he entered his chambers he found a visitor waiting
for him with impatience--it was Colin. Mark was not exactly surprised
to find the boy there, for Mr. Langton, judging it well to pad the
family skeleton as much as possible, had lately sent him to his
son-in-law to be coached for a school scholarship; and, as he was
probably aware, he might have chosen a worse tutor.
'What a time you have been!' said Colin.
'It's not your day,' said Mark, 'I can't take you now, old fellow.'
'I know,' said the boy, fidgetting restlessly; 'I didn't come about
that--it was something else.'
Mark laughed. 'You've been getting into another row, you young
rascal,' he said, 'and you want me to get you out of it--isn't that
it?'
'No, it isn't,' said Colin. 'I say,' he went on, blurting out the
question after the undiplomatic manner of boyhood, 'why have you got
Mabel to cut poor old Vincent? I call it a shame!'
Mark stopped half-way in taking off his coat. 'It would be no business
of yours if I had, you know,' he replied, 'but who told you I had done
anything of the sort?'
'Nobody, I can see for myself. Mabel told mother she would rather not
come to dinners and things when Vincent was coming, and once she did
meet him, and she only just spoke to him. And now, when he's so ill,
she won't go near him--he told me himself that it was no use asking
her, she would never come! She used to like him before, so it must be
all your fault, and I call it a beastly shame, and I don't care what
you say!'
All of this was quite new to Mark; Mabel had studiously avoided all
allusion to Vincent, and it had never occurred to Mark to speculate on
the light in which she chose to regard his explanation--that was all
over, and he was little enough inclined to revive the subject. He
began to be strangely troubled now. 'I don't know what you're talking
about,' he said; 'is Holroyd ill? it--it is nothing serious, is it?'
For he had seen very little of him lately, his obligation being too
deep and too humiliating to make repeated visits at all desirable.
'He looks all right,' said Colin, 'but I heard mother say that he's
very ill really, and she should have to put a stop to Dolly going to
sit with him every day as she does, because--because he might die
quite suddenly at any time--it's something wrong with his heart, she
said, I believe. And yet he seems well enough. But oh, Mark, if--if
it's that, you ought to let Mabel make it up with him, whatever he's
done. You might let her go and see him--he would like it so, I know he
would, though he wouldn't own it when I asked him. Only suppose he
_died_! I know Mabel would be sorry then!'
Every word the boy said cut Mark to the heart--he had never suggested
to Mabel that she should avoid Vincent, and he could not be satisfied
now until he had found out why she had done so; his insight not being
nearly keen enough to discover the reason for himself.
'Give me his address,' he said, for he did not even know where
Holroyd was living, and as soon as the boy had gone Mark drove to the
place he had mentioned, a house in Cambridge Terrace, instead of
returning home at once as he had previously intended.
He did not believe that the illness was as serious as Colin had
implied; of course that was exaggerated--but he could not be quite
easy until he had reassured himself by a visit, and some lingering
feeling of self-reproach drove him to make this atonement for his long
neglect.
The Langtons' carriage was at the door when he arrived; and, as he
came into the sitting-room on the second floor, he heard Dolly's clear
little voice and paused, hidden by the screen at the door. She was
reading to Vincent, who was lying back in an arm-chair; it was Hans
Andersen's 'Story of the Shadow,' a choice to which she had been
guided by pure accident.
Mark heard her read the half-sad, half-cynical conclusion as he stood
there unseen:
'"The Princess and the Shadow stepped out on the balcony to show
themselves, and to receive one cheer more. But the learned man heard
nothing of all these festivities--for he had already been executed."
'How horrid of that wicked Shadow!' was Dolly's indignant comment as
she finished; 'oh, Vincent, aren't you very, very sorry for the poor
learned man?'
'Much sorrier for the Shadow, Dolly,' he replied, a reply of which
Dolly would have insisted upon an explanation had not Mark then come
forward.
He murmured some confused sentence accounting for his visit.
'I have been wondering whether I should see you again,' said Vincent.
'Dolly, you had better go now, dear, it is getting late--you will come
and read me another story to-morrow?'
'If mother will let me,' said Dolly; 'and I tell you what, next time I
come I'll bring Frisk; you want amusing, I know, and he's a nice,
cheerful dog to have in a room with you.'
When Mark returned from putting her into the carriage, Vincent said,
'Is there anything you want to say to me, Ashburn?'
'Yes,' said Mark; 'I know I have no right to trouble you. I know you
can never really forgive me.'
'I thought so once,' said Vincent, 'but I have done with all that. I
forgave you long ago. Tell me if I can help you?'
'I have just heard for the first time,' said Mark, 'that--that my wife
has not--has not treated you very kindly lately. And I came here to
ask you if I am the cause.'
Vincent flushed suddenly, and his breath was laboured and painful for
a moment. 'What is the use of bringing that up now?' he asked; 'is it
a pleasant subject for either of us? Let it rest.'
'I had no intention of paining you,' said Mark, 'I ought not to have
asked you. I--I will ask Mabel herself.'
'You must not do that!' said Vincent, with energy; 'you might have
spared me this--you might have guessed. Still I will tell you--it may
do good. Yes, you _are_ the cause, Ashburn; the lie I told on that
evening of the rehearsal has borne its penalty, as lies will, and the
penalty has fallen upon me heavily. Ask yourself what your wife must
think of the man I made myself appear!'
'Good God!' groaned Mark, who saw this now for the first time.
'You see,' Vincent pursued, 'I am dying now, with the knowledge that I
shall never see her face again; that when I am gone she will not spare
me a single regret, that she will make haste to lose my very memory. I
don't complain, it is for her good, and I am content. Don't imagine I
tell you this as a reproach. Only if you are ever tempted again to do
anything which may put her happiness in danger, or weaken the
confidence she has in you, remember what it has cost another man to
secure them, and I think you will resist then.'
'Vincent!' cried Mark brokenly, 'it can't be; you are not--not
dying!'
'My doctor tells me so,' said Vincent. 'I have been prepared for it a
long time, and it must be coming near now--but there, we have talked
enough about that. Don't fancy from anything I have said that I have
lost all faith in you--you will find, very soon, perhaps, how little
that is so.... Are you going already?' he added, as Mark rose hastily;
'good-bye, then; come and see me when you can, and--if we are not to
meet again--you will not forget, I know.'
'No, I shall not forget,' was all Mark could say just then, and left
the house. He could not trust himself to bear any longer the
unhoped-for expression of confidence and regard which he saw once more
upon his friend's face.
As he walked home his mind was haunted by what he had just heard.
Vincent dying, his last hours embittered by Mabel's coldness. Mark
could not suffer that--she must see him once more, she must repair the
horrible injustice she had shown--he would urge her to relent!
And yet, how could she repair it, unless her eyes were opened?
Gradually he became aware that a final crisis had come in his life,
just as he thought all was well with him. He had said to himself,
'Peace, peace!' and it had only been an armistice. Would the results
of that shameful act always rise up against him in this way? What was
he to do?
He had felt as deep a shame and remorse for his past conduct as he was
capable of, but hitherto he had supposed that the wrong had been
comfortably righted, that he himself was after all the chief, if not
the sole sufferer.
That consolation was gone now; he knew what Mabel had been to Vincent,
and what it must be to him now to feel that he must bear this
misconception to the end. Could Mark accept this last sacrifice? More
and more he felt that he stood where two paths met: that he might hold
his peace now, and let his friend go down misunderstood to the grave,
but that all his past baseness would be nothing to that final
meanness; that if he faltered this time, if he chose the easy path, he
might indeed be safe for ever from discovery, but his soul would be
stained with a dishonour that nothing would ever cleanse; that he
would have done with self-respect and peace of mind for ever. And yet
if he took the other path, the right one, where would it lead him?
And so he reached his house in miserable indecision, driven this way
and that by contending impulses, loathing the prospect of this
crowning infamy, yet shrinking from the sole alternative. He found
Mabel sitting alone in the firelight.
'How did you get on?' she asked eagerly; 'you won your case?'
'My case?' he repeated blankly, so far away did all that seem now.
'Oh, yes, my case--the Lord Chief sums up to-morrow. I think we shall
get a verdict.'
'Sit down and tell me all about it,' she said. 'I will ring for the
lamp. I can't see your face.'
'No,' said Mark, 'don't ring; it is better as it is.'
She was struck by something in his voice.
'You are tired, dear,' she said.
'Very tired,' he confessed, with a heavy sigh; and then, with one of
his sudden promptings, he said, 'Mabel, I have just seen Vincent--he
is very ill.'
'I know,' she said. 'Is he--worse?'
'Dying,' he answered gloomily. 'I want to ask you a question--is it
true that you have been thinking very harshly of him lately?'
'I cannot think well of him,' she replied.
'Will you tell me why?' he demanded. Even then he tried to cherish the
faint hope that her resentment might have another cause.
'Cannot you guess?' she asked. 'Ah, no, you are too generous to feel
it yourself. How can I feel kindly towards the man who could let you
sacrifice your name and your prospects for a caprice of his own, who
persuaded you to entangle yourself in a manner that might, for all he
knew or cared, ruin you for life?'
'Even if that were so,' said Mark, 'he is dying, remember. Think what
it would be to him to see you once more--Mabel, will you refuse to go
to him?'
'He should not have asked this of me,' cried Mabel. 'Oh, Mark, you
will think me hard, unchristian, I know, but I can't do this--not even
now, when he is dying ... he ought not to have asked it.'
'Mabel,' he cried, 'he did not ask it--you do not know him if you
think that. Do you still refuse?'
'I must, I must,' repeated Mabel. 'Oh, if it had been I who was the
injured one, I do not think I should feel like this; it is for you I
cannot forgive. If I went now, what good would it do? Mark; it is
wicked of me, but I could not say what he would expect--not yet, not
yet--you must not ask me.'
Mark knew now that the decisive moment had come: there was only one
way left of moving her; there was no time to lose if he meant to take
it.
Must he speak the words which would banish him from his wife's heart
for ever, just when hope had returned to his life, just when he had
begun to feel himself worthier of her love? It was so easy to say no
more, to leave her in her error, and the shadow would pass away, and
his happiness be secure. But could he be sure of that? The spectre had
risen so many times to mock him, would it ever be finally laid? And if
Mabel learnt the truth when it was too late?--no, he could not bear to
think of what would happen then?
And yet how was he to begin--in what words could he break it to her?
His heart died within him at the duty before him, and he sat in the
firelit room, tortured with indecision, and his good and bad angel
fought for him. And then, all at once, almost in spite of himself, the
words came:
'Mabel,' he cried, 'Holroyd has done nothing--do you hear?--nothing to
call for forgiveness ... oh, if you could understand without my saying
more!'
She started, and her voice had an accent, first of a new hope, then of
a great fear.
'Is Vincent better than he seemed? But how can that be if--tell me,
Mark, tell me everything.'
Mark shrank back; he dared not tell her.
'Not now,' he groaned. 'My God! what am I doing? Mabel, I can't tell
you; have pity on yourself--on me!'
She rose and came to him. 'If you have anything to tell me, tell me
now,' she said. 'I am quite strong; it will not hurt me. You must not
leave me in this uncertainty--_that_ will kill me! Mark, if you love
me, I entreat you to save me from being unjust to Vincent. Remember,
he is dying--you have told me so!'
He rose and went to the sideboard; there was water there, and he
poured some out and drank it before he could speak. Then he came back
to the fireplace, and leaned against the mantelboard.
'You will hate me before I have finished,' he said at last, 'but I
will tell you.'
And then he began, and painfully, with frequent breaks and nervous
hurrying at certain passages, he told her everything--the whole story
of his own shame and of Holroyd's devotion. He did not spare himself;
he did not even care to give such excuses as might have been made for
him in the earlier stages of his fraud. If his atonement was late, it
was at least a full one.
She listened without a word, without even a sob, and when he had come
to the end she sat there silent still, as if turned to stone. The
stillness grew so terrible that Mark could bear no more.
'Speak to me, Mabel,' he cried in his agony, 'for God's sake, speak to
me!'
She rose, supporting herself with one trembling hand; even in the
firelight her face was deathly pale. 'Take me to him first,' she said,
and the voice was that of a different woman, 'after that I will speak
to you.'
'To Vincent?' he asked, half stupefied by what he was suffering. 'Not
to-night, Mabel, you must not!'
'I must,' she replied; 'if you will not take me I shall go
alone--quick, let us lose no time!'
He went out into the main road and hailed a cab, as he had done often
enough before for one of their journeys to dinner or the theatre; when
he returned Mabel was already standing cloaked and hooded at the open
door.
'Tell him to drive fast--fast,' she said feverishly, as he helped her
into the hansom, and she did not open her lips again till it stopped.
He glanced at her face now and then, when the shop-lights revealed her
profile as she lay back in her corner; it was pale and set, her eyes
were strained, but she had shed no tears; he sat there and recalled
the merry journeys they had had together, side by side, on evenings
like this, when he had been sorry the drive should ever end--how long
this one was!
The cab reached Cambridge Terrace at last. Mark instinctively looked
at the upper windows of the house--they were all dark. 'Stay here,
till I have asked,' he said to Mabel before he got out, 'we may--we
may be too late.'
* * * * *
Vincent had been moved to his sleeping-room, where he was sitting in
his arm-chair; the trained nurse who had been engaged to wait upon him
had left him for a while, the light was lowered, and he was lying
still in the dreamy exhaustion which was becoming more and more his
normal state.
He had received his death-warrant some months before; the harassing
struggles against blight and climate in Ceylon, the succession of
illnesses which had followed them, and the excitement and anxiety that
he underwent on his return, had ended in an affection of the heart,
which, by the time he thought it sufficiently serious to need advice,
was past all cure.
He had heard the verdict calmly, for he had little to make him in love
with life, but while the book in which he had already begun to find
distraction was unfinished, there was still work for him to do, and he
was anxious to leave it completed. If the efforts he made to effect
this shortened his life, they at least prevented him from dwelling
upon its approaching end, and his wish was gratified. He fixed his
mind steadily on his task, and though each day saw less accomplished
and with more painful labour, the time came when he reached the last
page and threw down his pen for ever.
Now he was on the brink of the stream, and the plash of the ferryman's
oar could be heard plainly; the world behind him had already grown
distant and dim; even of the book which had been in his mind so long,
he thought but little--he had done with it all; whether it brought him
praise or blame from man, he would never learn now, and was content to
be in ignorance.
The same lethargy had mercifully deadened to some extent the pain of
Mabel's injustice, until Mark's visit had revived it that afternoon.
He had come to think of it all now without bitterness; it might be
that in some future state she would 'wake, and remember, and
understand,' and the wrong be righted--but it had always seemed to him
that in another existence all earthly misunderstandings must seem too
infinitely pitiful and remote to be worth unravelling, or even
recalling, and so he could not find much comfort there.
But at least he had not been worsted in the conflict with his lower
nature. Mabel's happiness was now secure from the worst danger, the
struggle was over, and he was glad, for there had been times when he
had almost sunk under it.
So he was thinking dreamily as he sat there while now and then a cloud
would drift across his thoughts as he lost himself in a kind of half
slumber.
He was roused by sounds on the stairs outside, and presently he heard
a light step in the farther room. 'I am not asleep,' he said,
believing the nurse had returned.
'Vincent,' said a low tremulous voice, 'it is I--Mabel.' Then he
looked up, and even in that half light he saw that the figure standing
there in the open doorway was the one which had been chief in his
thoughts.
Unprepared as he was for such a visitor, he felt no surprise--only a
deep and solemn happiness as he saw her standing before him.
'You have come then,' he said; 'I am very glad. You must think less
hardly of me--or you would not be here.'
She had only obtained leave to see him on her earnest entreaties and
promises of self-restraint, but his first words sorely tried her
fortitude; she came to his chair and sank down beside it, taking his
hands in both hers. 'Vincent,' she cried, with a sob that would not be
repressed, 'I cannot bear it if you talk so.... I know all, all that
you have suffered and given up ... he has told me--at last!'
Vincent looked down with an infinite pity upon the sweet contrite face
raised to his. 'You poor child,' he said, 'you know then? How could he
tell you! Mabel, I tried so hard to spare you this--and now it has
come! What can I say to you?'
'Say that you forgive me--if you ever can!' she said, 'when I remember
all the hard things I said and thought of you, when all the time--oh,
I was blind, or I must have seen the truth! And I can never, never
make it up to you now!'
'Do you think,' he asked, 'that to see you here, and know that you
understand me at last, would not make up for much harder treatment
than I ever had from you, Mabel? If that were all--but he has told
you, you said, told you the whole sad story. Mabel--what are you going
to do?'
She put the question aside with a gesture of heart-sick pride: 'What
does it matter about me? I can only think of you just now--let me
forget all the rest while I may!'
'Dying men have their privileges,' he said, 'and I have not much more
time. Mabel, I must ask you: What have you said to Mark?'
'Nothing,' she said, with a low moan, 'what was there to say? He must
know that he has no wife now.'
'Mabel, you have not left him!' he cried.
'Not yet,' she said, turning away wearily; 'he brought me to this
house--he is here now, I believe.... You are torturing me with these
questions, Vincent.'
'Answer me this once,' he persisted, 'do you mean to leave him?'
She rose to her feet. 'What else can I do,' she demanded, 'now that I
know? The Mark I loved has gone for ever--he never even existed! I
have no husband beyond the name. I have been in a dream all this time,
and I wake to find myself alone! Only an hour ago and Mark was all the
world to me--think what he must be to me from this time! No, I cannot
live with him. I could not breathe the same air with him. I am ashamed
that I could ever have loved him. He is all unworthy, and mean, and
false, and I thought him noble and generous!'
'You are too hard,' said Vincent, 'he is not all bad, he was weak--not
wicked; if I had not felt that, I should never have tried to keep his
secret, and forced him, against his will, to keep it himself. And now
he has confessed it all to you, when there was no fear of discovery to
urge him, only because he could not endure the thought of my bearing
your displeasure to the end. He did not know that that was so till
this afternoon, and I told him without thinking it would have that
effect on him--I did him an injustice there. He must have gone back
and accused himself at once. Think, Mabel, was there nothing unselfish
and brave in that? He knew what you would think of him, he knew that
he was safe if he kept silence--and yet he spoke, because he preferred
the worst for himself to allowing me to bear the penalty for his sins.
Is a man who could act thus utterly lost?'
'Lost to me!' she said passionately, 'the confession came too late;
and how could any confession atone for such a sin! No, he is too
unworthy, I can never trust him, never forgive him!'
'I do not ask you to forgive him now,' he urged; 'he has done you a
great wrong, your love and faith have received a cruel shock; and you
cannot act and feel as if this had never been. I understand all that.
Only do not close the door on forgiveness for ever, do not cut him off
from all chance of winning back something of the confidence he has
lost. The hope of that will give him strength and courage; without
that hope to keep him up, without your influence he will surely lose
heart and be lost for ever. His fate rests with you, have you thought
of that?'
She was silent, but her face was still unconvinced.
'You think your love is dead,' he went on, 'and yet, Mabel, something
tells me that love will not die easily with you. What if you find this
is so at some future time, when the step you are bent upon has been
taken, and you cannot retreat from it? What if, when you call him
back, it is too late; and he will not, or cannot, return to you?'
'I shall never call him back,' she said.
'You will have no pity on him for his sake or your own,' Vincent
pleaded, 'will you not for mine? Mabel, let me say something to you
about myself. I have loved you for years--you are not angry with me
for telling you so now, are you? I loved you well enough to put your
happiness before all other things; it was for that I made any
sacrifices I have made; it was for that I was willing even that you
should think hardly of me.'
'For me!' she cried, 'was it for me you have done all this? How I have
repaid you!'
'I was repaid by the belief that it secured your happiness,' he
answered. 'I thought, rightly or wrongly, that I was justified in
deceiving you for your own good. But now you are taking away all this
from me, Mabel! I must die with the sense of having failed miserably,
when I thought I was most successful, with the knowledge that by what
I have done I have only increased the evil! Must I leave you with your
happy home blighted past recovery, with nothing before you but a
lonely, barren existence? Must I think of you living out your life,
proud and unforgiving, and wretched to the end? I entreat you to give
me some better comfort, some brighter prospect than that--you will
punish me for my share in it all by refusing what I ask, but will you
refuse?'
She came back to him. 'No,' she said brokenly, 'I have given you pain
enough, I will refuse you nothing now, only it is so hard--tell me
what I am to do!'
'Do not desert him, do not shame him before the world!' he said; 'bear
with him still, give him the chance of winning back what he has lost.
Peace may be long in coming to you--but it will come some day, and
even if it never comes at all, Mabel, you will have done your duty,
there will be a comfort in that. Will you promise this, for my sake?'
She raised her face, which she had hidden in her hands. 'I
promise--for your sake,' she said, and at her words he sank back with
a sigh of relief--his work was over, and the energy he had summoned up
to accomplish it left him suddenly.
'Thank you!' he said faintly; 'you have made me happier, Mabel. I
should like to see Mark, but I am tired. I shall sleep now.'
'I will come to-morrow,' she said, and bending over him, she kissed
his forehead. She had not kissed him since the time when she was a
child and he an undergraduate, devoted to her even then; and now that
kiss and the touch of her hand lingered with him till he slept, and
perhaps followed him some little way into the land of dreams.
Mark had been waiting in a little dark sitting-room on a lower floor;
he had not dared to follow Mabel. At last, after long hours, as it
seemed, of slow torment, he heard her descending slowly, and came to
meet her; she was very pale and had been weeping, but her manner was
composed now.
'Let us go home,' was all she said to him, and they drove back in
silence as they had come. But when they had reached their home Mark
could bear his uncertainty no longer.
'Mabel,' he said, and his voice shook, 'have you nothing to say to me,
still?'
She met his appealing gaze with eyes that bore no reproach, only a
fixed and hopeless sadness in their clear depths.
'Yes,' she said, 'let us never speak again of--of what you have told
me to-night--you must make me forget it, if you can.'
The sudden relief almost took away his breath. 'You do not mean to
leave me then!' he cried impulsively, as he came towards her and
seemed about to take her hand. 'I thought I had lost you--but you will
not do that, Mabel, you will stay with me?'
She shrank from him ever so slightly, with a little instinctive
gesture of repugnance, which the wretched man noted with agony.
'I will not leave you,' she said, 'I did mean--but that is over, you
owe it to _him_. I will stay with you, Mark--it may not be for much
longer.'
Her last words chilled him with a deadly fear; his terrible confession
had escaped him before he had had time to remember much that might
well have excused him, even to himself, for keeping silence then.
'My God!' he cried in his agony when she had left him, 'is _that_ to
be my punishment? Oh, not that--any shame, any disgrace but that!'
And he lay awake long, struggling hard against a terror that was to
grow nearer and more real with each succeeding day.
* * * * *
Vincent's sleep was sweet and sound that night, until, with the dawn,
the moment came when it changed gently and painlessly into a sleep
that was sounder still, and the plain common-place bedroom grew hushed
and solemn, for Death had entered it.