Away our two friends journeyed until they came to a high eminence which
commanded a good view of all the country round. At their feet was spread
the garden of Abdur, and in the distance was to be seen the El Dorado of
the East. The fair lands of the Buccaneer's Indian Princess. How lovely
it all looked; the hot sun streaming down on plains covered with jungle
and the tall cocoanut trees with their long stems and bushy heads; and
the shady plaintain with its long, broad leaves. Then rivers wound
through the plain like huge silver serpents making their endless way to
the sea.
As may be easily imagined, the Buccaneer who was not accustomed to such
lengthy and arduous journeys, was completely done up, for the ascent had
been steep and difficult; often had he stopped to admire the scenery, an
excuse generally made by the weary, who are too proud to admit that they
are in the smallest degree overcome. Rivulets of perspiration were
running down the old gentleman's face, and it took him some time to mop
himself and gain his breath. Dogvane, as the saying is, had not turned a
hair. Whether this was on account of the paucity of that article, or the
general leanness of his condition, it is not necessary to say.
The Buccaneer sat and contemplated in silence the beauty of the scene
before him, while the captain of his watch looked through the left
corner of his eye towards Abdur's home. Presently a shout in that
direction made the Buccaneer start from his happy reverie, and turning
to his left there he saw the Eastern Bandit, apparently enjoying himself
in Abdur's garden, and not keeping to the pathways either, but trampling
borders and beds under foot. "Hallo! Master Dogvane," exclaimed the
Buccaneer, "sure enough there he is at his handiwork, just as we were
told."
"Be not too hasty, master," Dogvane replied. "Things are not always as
they seem; so somebody has said, and I believe him. We are absolutely
without any official information on the subject, while, on the contrary,
I have the august Bandit's word for it, that he wants nothing out of
Abdur's garden, and I believe him, for the fruit is of a prickly kind,
and not at all enticing. In fact, more fit for asses than for human
beings."
"Facts are stubborn things, Master Dogvane, and seeing surely is
believing."
"Not always, sir; for how many people are deceived by their eyes? one
swearing he saw one thing, another swearing the very reverse. Things are
deceptive, more especially when seen through glasses dimmed by
prejudice." Dogvane said nothing about the dimness of the official eye,
which is well known to be as nearly blind as possible, without being
absolutely so. He put his glass up and took a survey, taking good care
that that part of Abdur's garden where the Bandit was should not come
within his range. "For my part," he said, "I do not think the Eastern
Bandit is in Abdur's garden. You may depend upon it, sir, he is merely
going through the time honoured custom of beating the bounds."
"Then you go down, Master Dogvane, and see that the boundaries are
fairly marked."
"It has ever been the custom to take some small boy, and by bumping him
or whipping him upon the breech at certain places, to engraft the
boundaries indelibly upon his memory. I am too old a man for this. It is
a thousand pities that we have not young Random Jack with us. He is for
ever wishing to render you some signal service, as much to make a name
for himself as to do good to you. Now, this would be an excellent
opportunity for him to show his zeal, and I regret extremely that the
lad is not here. It would be well worth while to send for him."
Dogvane's meditations were put a stop to by the Buccaneer exclaiming, as
he brought down his telescope and shut up the slides with a bang: "As I
hope to be saved, Master Dogvane, the Bandit is in our friend Abdur's
garden!" Here he opened his spy-glass again and took another look. "And
what is more," he added, "the rascal seems inclined to lay his hands
upon what does not belong to him."
Fat as the Buccaneer had grown, and lazy as his prosperity and good
living had made him, he did at times rouse himself, and when he did he
frequently flew into the most violent fits of passion, and made use of
the most terrible language, and altogether forgetting that he was a
Christian he would swear like any Turk, or the proverbial trooper. Our
friend was now seized with a warlike epidemic, which, as a rule, is very
infectious. He was for fighting his old enemy at once, for he felt fully
persuaded that he must be in the wrong. Dogvane, the man of peace, tried
to calm his master down, and begged him to take things quietly; saying
that it was time enough to draw the sword when diplomacy failed.
The Buccaneer when he heard that word, ripped out several oaths of such
a nature, as to make Dogvane's hair stand on end. This annoyed the
Buccaneer still more, and he requested Dogvane, in tones not to be
disobeyed, not to do it. The captain apologized, and declared it was the
"wind, and nothing more;" showing that his mind was far away. The
Buccaneer, however, quickly brought him back to his senses, by
commanding him to ask the Eastern Bandit, in the politest manner
possible, what the devil he meant, by trespassing upon other people's
property. Of course, things had to be done in a proper way, and strictly
according to custom. Dogvane knew very well that it was quite useless to
ask the Eastern Bandit for any information, because, whatever his
intentions might be, it was not at all likely that he would disclose
them. To do so, would be to act in a manner altogether undiplomatic. But
obedient to his master's commands, the captain of the watch went to a
small rivulet that sprang out of the mountain side close by. This tiny
stream after bounding from rock to rock of its mountain bed, fell down
into the plain below, and then widening and growing deeper and deeper,
rolled lazily through Abdur's garden, refreshing its parched soil with
its grateful waters.
Dogvane put his hand to the side of his mouth and sent down on the bosom
of the rivulet a request couched in the most polite language to know
what the great Bandit of the East was about. Back came a voice from the
plains below, saying, "The august Bandit of the East, the master of many
millions of slaves, requests the Buccaneer of the West to mind his own
business."
"Tells me to mind my own business, does he? And call you that a
diplomatic answer, Master Dogvane?"
"Most assuredly," replied the captain. "It would have been quite as easy
for him to have told you to go to the devil. How can you find fault with
him, or anyone else, for telling you to mind your own business. It is
what every right-minded and honest man ought to do."
"But it is what every right-minded and honest man does not like to be
told to do. This business is mine, Master Dogvane. Do you not see that
he is putting his huge foot forward?"
"My eyesight in such things is somewhat dim; but be not hasty. In times
past, sir, your rashness has led you into sad trouble. For all we know
the Eastern Bandit does but stretch his leg, preparatory to making a
backward movement. For my part, I think this must be so. I go so far as
to say that it is so; for I have entered into an agreement with him; or
it may be an arrangement, or even a sacred covenant."
"The devil take your covenant!" cried the Buccaneer, "I am going to see
into this little matter myself," and away the old gentleman started off,
with a speed that endangered his neck. Dogvane needs must follow; but he
was not so good going down as up a hill on occasions like this. "Steady,
my master! Steady!" he cried. "The more haste, the less speed. God
forbid that we should not uphold the sacred ties of friendship; but,
sir, I beg you; I beseech you, not to be rash. Remember, those who
quarrels interpose, often wipe a bloody nose. Let us try the gentle
force of reason first, then if that fails--"
"What then, Master Dogvane?" said the Buccaneer, stopping and turning
round to confront his captain.
"Time, sir, and the course of events alone can tell. In a good cause,
in a righteous cause, old Will Dogvane will be found ever ready to draw
the sword."
"Damme! Dogvane, there's life in the old dog yet."
"Sir, swear not; it makes my blood curdle in my veins."
"Dogvane! Dogvane!" cried the Buccaneer, "As I live he is beating
Abdur's children!"
"And why not, sir? why not? no doubt, they richly deserve it. Have you
not taken the liberty of doing the self same thing yourself?"
They were now very much closer, and Dogvane put up his glass to his
official eye, and declared he saw nothing out of the way going on. This
so irritated the Buccaneer, that he performed something in the nature of
a miracle, and he made Dogvane receive his sight. He owned that he did
see something in the nature of a beating taking place. Then he said by
way of excuse: "You can not expect, sir, to have a monopoly of beating
other people's children. But at any rate," he continued, "the time has
come for us to show the Eastern Bandit that we are not to be trifled
with. We are now near enough for him to see. The man who will not stand
up for a friend in need, deserves to be branded with the name of
coward."
"Bravo, Dogvane!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, "I don't care for sentiment,
as a rule; for it generally cloaks some infernal rascality; but damme
that's a good sentiment, and one to my liking."
Dogvane felt an honest pride in having thus pleased his master. He felt
also encouraged, so taking off his coat and turning up his shirt sleeves
he said, "When the Eastern Bandit sees the sinews of my goodly arms, he
will, no doubt, become frightened, and pause ere he provokes me to
anger; but, master, you will stand by me?"
"Through thick and thin, Dogvane!"
"It will be a costly affair, for I needs must make gigantic
preparations. I shall have to go into training."
"Name but your sum, Dogvane, and it is yours," cried the fighting old
Buccaneer in an ecstasy of delight.
"It cannot be done comfortably, sir, under L11,000,000," replied the
captain.
"It is yours, Dogvane! It is yours, I am rich, and I am generous."
"Has the taking off of my coat in any way frightened him, my master?
Your eyesight is better than mine."
"Not a bit, Dogvane. The beggar is dancing about just as if the whole
place belonged to him. Go in, old man, and win. Nail your colours to the
mast," the old sea king could not forget his early days, with its quaint
language. "And may God defend the right!" he piously exclaimed as he
took off his hat and raised his eyes devoutly to heaven. Of course there
could be little doubt in the Buccaneer's own mind as to who was in the
right. As has already been stated he fully believed that God was always
on his side, and if he did come off second best, it was the Devil who
for some good reason was allowed, for the time being, to prevail against
him. This is a pardonable vanity and is shared by many other pious and
devout people. With Dogvane it was different. He was blessed, or cursed
according to the way it is looked at, with a most tender conscience, and
though he never allowed it for any length of time to stand in his way,
it caused him so to act, that people condemned him as a splitter of
straws and a weigher of scruples. While he was thus occupied he
generally allowed the golden opportunity to pass by and thus he
frequently brought his wares to the market a day or so after the fair.
And many a time the words "too late" were hung out over the gate he
wished to enter at.
Scarcely had the Buccaneer finished the above pious ejaculation than
Dogvane's stout right arm fell listlessly to his side. He drooped his
head as he repeated, in a low tone of voice, the words of his master:
"And may God defend the right! That sends a cold thrill through every
vein in my body. Suppose," he said, addressing his master. "Suppose; I
say suppose, my master, we are in the wrong, what a weight of
blood-guiltiness will rest upon our heads? Suppose we are in the wrong,
and being in the wrong we spill the blood of a fellow-creature? Good
master, I have a qualm of conscience."
"Oh! damn your conscience!" cried the Buccaneer, whose blood was up. Of
course such language is reprehensible in the extreme; no matter who uses
it; but it is doubly so when it falls from the lips of a pious Christian
gentleman. But, good people all, what is bred in the bone, will come out
in the flesh. Dogvane recoiled from such language.
"Damn not my conscience, sir, nor that of any other man," he said, for
his religion was unlike many a modern lady's beauty, it was even more
than skin deep.
"Conscience," continued Dogvane, "is the guiding star by which we steer
these frail barks of ours through life. Too many of us do not,
consequently we find ourselves lost amidst shoals and quicksands. In a
just cause, in a righteous cause I will fight."
"What!" cried the Buccaneer in amazement, "are you going to put your
coat on again?"
"This, sir, is a matter that must receive our gravest consideration.
Before we fight we must thoroughly sift the matter in the inmost
recesses of the mind, until we are fully convinced of the sacredness of
our cause. The man--"
"Stay, Master Dogvane! Not another word in that direction as you value
the wholeness of your skin. Give me anything you like; but damme, don't
try my temper with another sentiment."
"What I was going to say, most noble master, is this. If we have in any
way offended the Bandit of the East, we must make what reparation we can
by craving his pardon."
"What!" cried the Buccaneer, "are you going to humble me before all the
world?"
"Nay, sir; call it not by such a name. It is a noble thing, and the act
of a great and generous mind to own freely that it is in the wrong. I do
not humble you. I exalt you and place you upon a high pinnacle of
perfection. It requires more courage to own oneself in the wrong than it
does to take up the sword. It stands to reason, sir, that we both cannot
be in the right; this being conceded why should not the wrong be on our
side, nay, what more likely than that it is? Let us then sheathe the
bloody brutalizing sword until the merits of the case are fully shown."
"And are all your mighty words to go for nothing, Master Dogvane? How
about my honour? How about my honour?" said the Buccaneer sorrowfully.
"Honour, sir!" replied Dogvane. "Honour! what is honour that you should
shed human blood over it? It is but a breath that comes from the mouths
of other people, and the same mouth is as ready to damn as bless. This
honour, what is it? It is here to-day, it is gone to-morrow, and is
hunted often to death by envy, hatred, and malice, until in the end it
is handed over to the tender mercies of its adversary shame. This self
same honour that is so much lauded, is a picker of quarrels, a shedder
of blood, a vain boaster, and a veritable swashbuckler. This honour is
the veriest bubble that man ever fought for, or prated about, and it has
done more mischief in the world than any other of man's vain causes of
strife; because no principle has been so plentifully abused, except,
perhaps, the principle of religion. For this self same honour, or its
shadow, you have sacrificed countless thousands of your own sons, and
slaughtered countless thousands of other people's. For the sake of this
honour you have burdened yourself with a debt that you will carry with
you to your grave and it will bend your back, more and more each day you
live. God grant that in the end it does not crush you beneath its
weight. We will place this matter in the hands of others who will
arbitrate between you and the Eastern Bandit, who, I cannot but think,
is grossly maligned. This, good master, will be a more humane, a more
civilised, and a more Christian method of settling your dispute."
During this harangue of Dogvane's the spirits of the Buccaneer kept on
falling and falling until despair sat heavily at his heart. There was
something quite pathetic in his bearing as he said: "Master Dogvane, I
do not wish to be better than my neighbours. They are all Christians,
and yet they all fight. Madame France is armed to the teeth. My German
cousin sleeps in armour always, with one eye open. Then, why should I
hang up my sword, pistols and buckler and resent neither rebuke,
insult, nor injury? In such a matter as this, is it wise to trust to a
third party?"
"Master, what does your religion teach you? Be you the pioneer of a
better state of things. God knows we have had fighting enough."
"I wish my old coxswain were here," said the Buccaneer. "This is an
occasion when his advice would come in well." Perhaps, had he been
present he might have told his master that he had better turn monk at
once and start a monastery if he intended to follow the advice of the
captain of the watch. Why, you ask, did not this fighting, hard
swearing, and hard drinking old sea king whip out his hanger and go in
at the Bandit himself?
Good people all, it must be remembered, that he now conducted his
business on purely constitutional principles, and he would have violated
some one or many of these had he so acted. So wedded was he to his
constitution that it is probable he would have preferred to be utterly
ruined by sticking to it, than saved by going in any way against it. He
was a great stickler for routine, red tape, and custom. They, for the
time, left the Eastern Bandit in the full enjoyment of his actions.
Dogvane broke the silence. "Sir," he said, "I have in my mind's eye a
worthy potentate who may, for a small consideration, be induced to serve
you in this dispute you have with the Eastern Bandit. King
Hokeepokeewonkeefum--"
"What!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, in surprise.
"Does the length of the name astonish you, sir? We have near neighbours
whose names, were they all joined together, far exceed the one just
mentioned. All great and illustrious people have long names; but they
are all capable of contraction. King Hokee, sir, as we will for brevity
call him."
"What!" exclaimed the Buccaneer again, almost breathless with amazement.
"Entrust my affairs to a black?" There was an adjective used, but for
various reasons it has not been recorded.
"Surely, sir," replied Dogvane, "you are above the prejudice of colour.
Though black, King Hokee has no doubt a mind particularly free from
prejudice. Is he not a man and a brother? Besides, sir, to borrow
somewhat from perhaps a greater William than myself: Hath not King Hokee
eyes? Hath he not hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections,
passions? If he has not I have no official information on the subject.
Is he not fed by the same food, hurt by the same weapons, subject to the
same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same
winter and summer as we are? If you prick King Hokee, think you he will
not bleed? If you tickle him, will he not laugh? If you poison him, will
he not die?"
"Cease, Master Dogvane; no more of this. You have stabbed me, and verily
I bleed. To think that the old sea king should be brought so low as to
ask a favour from a damned black!"
For certain weighty reasons the adjective here is not omitted.
"Have I then no friend, Master Dogvane; no great neighbour to whom I can
entrust this affair?"
"It is one of the penalties attached to greatness, sir, to be without
friends. The great stand upon an eminence and look down upon a gaping
crowd of admirers, flatterers, and detractors; but they have no friends,
at least not worth the mentioning. Besides, King Hokee would do the
thing cheaper. A tin star with an appropriate appellation would satisfy
him, and you could make him pay handsomely for the star."
"Am I then placed so high up on this bleak and sterile peak? I have done
a great deal for Egypt; surely she will show me some little kindness? To
show that my prejudice for colour is not great I will place the matter
in her hands."
"People served, sir, have but short memories," was Dogvane's reply.
"We will at any rate break our journey back there, Master Dogvane, and
we can mention the subject to the gipsy queen."
The captain did not seem to relish this, for he said in a disparaging
manner: "Yes, you have done a good deal for the gipsy; but the man who
does not wish to be disappointed will expect gratitude from no one,
least of all from a woman. In Egypt, sir, our game has been, I own, a
subtle one; but, like the villain in the play, we have been obliged,
and still must dissemble, so as not to excite the jealousy of our
neighbours."
Dogvane loved dissembling. "Sir," he added, as he shut one eye and put
the forefinger of his right hand to the side of his nose in a most
knowing manner, "we have not thought it wise to let the gipsy woman into
our little secret. We have set up in Egypt a dummy whom we call a ruler.
Behind his back we pull the strings of administration. When all goes
well we come in front and make our bow to the audience, and receive our
well merited applause. When anything goes wrong, we beat our dummy; he
does not mind, and it would be all the same if he did; our neighbours
are satisfied, and their suspicions are allayed."
"Is this honourable, Dogvane?"
"Sir, it is most diplomatic, consequently, it cannot be less than
honourable."
The Buccaneer thought for awhile and then said: "It would have been
better for me, Master Dogvane, to have seized the country at once. There
would have been a cackling in some of my neighbours' poultry yards, but
it would have saved an infinity of trouble in the end."
Dogvane was horrified at such a suggestion. This was a falling off and a
going back with a vengeance. "Such a wholesale act of robbery," he said,
"would perhaps have been pardonable in your old Buccaneering days, when
you laid your hands on what you could, and did all you could to keep it;
but in this, your age of extreme respectability, it would never do. Why!
you would have had all your neighbours buzzing about your ears like a
swarm of angry wasps. The act would have been most undiplomatic."
Here apparently some unpleasant thoughts entered the Buccaneer's mind,
for a cloud passed over his face. "Diplomacy," he said; "that has never
been a very strong point with me. I like to be open and above board, at
least, at one time I did, and I loved to call a spade a spade. This
diplomacy, Master Dogvane, is a genteel kind of a highwayman, who is not
above insinuating his hands into the pockets of the unwary, while he
distracts the attention of his victim by expressing towards him the
highest esteem and regard. I would quite as soon he showed himself in
his true colours and cried out boldly: 'Stand and deliver.'"