The look-out place at the mast head of the old Ship of State had many
names, and amongst the rest it was called the owl's nest. This bird is
sagacious looking; but by some people it is considered stupid, though
perhaps rats, and mice, and other like vermin, think he is sharp enough
for them. From this point of vantage Dogvane was bidding his master to
behold the bright things that lay beneath him. "Look around you," he
said, "and your eyes will rest upon a beautiful picture; upon fields of
golden corn bending their heads ready for the sickle of the reaper; upon
pastures well stocked with flocks and herds and upon a contented and a
happy people." Just as the Buccaneer was stooping down to adjust his eye
to the telescope, Dogvane very deftly slipped in, as the clever little
middy had said he would, a slide beautifully painted with rural scenes,
for what he had said existed only in his imagination, for a good deal of
the land was lying fallow. The Buccaneer seemed lost in wonder and
admiration, and was silent; but Dogvane kept talking all the time.
Conjurors always do this to distract the attention of their audience,
otherwise their imposition might be found out. "Your eyes rest, sir,"
the captain said, "upon a peaceful scene; no one would think that all
those quiet looking villages, with their churches, stand over the bones
of dead pirates." The Buccaneer did not like this allusion to his past
life so he said:
"Master Dogvane! there are but few men that have not had their early
indiscretions. Even the very best of us in looking back wish some things
undone. Many a saint has commenced life as a sinner; then let the dead
past be buried, and often the greater the sinner the greater the saint.
The first public act of Moses was a murder."
Dogvane took advantage of this diversion to slip in another slide.
"Behold!" he cried, "your happy villages, with their churches, nestling
in amongst the trees. Behold your towns and cities, the monuments of
your industry and intelligence! See the tall tapering chimneys rising
far into the murky sky. Look down, my master; look down at your rivers
thickly studded with innumerable ships." Dogvane said not a word about
the nationality of those ships. He did not tell his master that they
belonged, a good many of them, to the innumerable cheap-Jacks that
infested the shores.
"Dogvane!" cried the Buccaneer, as he wiped the small glass of his
telescope, "I see chimneys enough; but I see no smoke coming from them.
They seem to me to be mute monuments raised to a dead industry." The
artist had quite forgotten to put the smoke in. Perhaps he painted from
nature--some artists do. Dogvane was quite equal to the occasion, "We
compel all your subjects, sir, to consume their own smoke."
This of course was not the case, if it had been, the Buccaneer's people
would not have had to live at times in a gloom that made mid-day
scarcely distinguishable from midnight.
Do I accuse a high official; a man whose character was as that of the
wife of Caesar, of not adhering to the truth?
Heaven forbid, that we should be so profane. But even truth at times
must be suppressed, and though this may be considered by the
straight-laced and sickly minded to be lying by implication, it is not
so. It is done in the very best and most pious society; and in a high
state of civilization it is absolutely necessary; because truth hurts
the feelings of the refined.
The tinkling of many bells rose up on the air, and hovered for a while
over the crow's nest. "What sound is that?" asked the Buccaneer. "The
bell wethers, sir, ringing out their glad tidings of large and
multiplying flocks." It was nothing of the sort. It was the muffin man
going his constant and monotonous rounds.
"Listen, sir!" exclaimed Dogvane in high glee, "to the merry, but
perfectly unintelligible cry of your happy costermongers. From dewy morn
till dewy eve they vend their wares."
"If their cry, Master Dogvane, is unintelligible, why allow them to
disturb the quiet of my people?"
"For all that I do, sir, there is a goodly reason. One of the favourite
cries of our enemies is that we are revolutionists, up-setters, and
destroyers of cherished customs. We refute this base slander by pointing
to your costermongers. Here is a time-honoured institution that we have
left untouched, and if the merry voice of the costermonger is to be
silenced the guilt shall be on the head of the Port Watch, for old Bill
Dogvane will have nothing to do with it." After this burst of
impassioned eloquence the captain of the Starboard Watch wiped a
glistening tear from his eye, took a little time to get his breath and
then continued: "Look at your sanitary arrangements! In a matter of
drains you have not an equal."
"All this is very well, Master Dogvane, and at home things may be sound
enough; but how about my neighbours?"
"Your neighbours, sir? oh! I am credibly informed that in a matter of
drains they are not good. I believe they have none; or if they have, I
have no official information on the subject."
"Confound their drains, man! How do I stand with them?" Saying this, the
Buccaneer turned his glass to distant parts. Dogvane tried very hard to
distract the attention of his master, so that he could turn the
telescope round until the small end might be where the big end ought to
be; but he had no opportunity; neither had he any foreign slides. This
was an oversight, and Dogvane was disconcerted. He tried to persuade his
master by all manner of devices, not to trouble himself about other
people's affairs. Told him that he was looked upon with jealousy, as all
great and good men are; but that he ought to be too wise to mind what
people said.
This rather flattered the Buccaneer's vanity. So long as he was feared
and respected that was all he cared for. This was not right from a
Christian point of view; but we must not expect too much; for the flesh
is at all times weak, and man has been endowed with certain qualities
that will occasionally assert themselves. Was not the Hulk alongside the
old Ship of State, the custodian of all Christian principles? Would you
find charity and humility reigning supreme there? Good people all,
beneath the priestly frock there sometimes beats a hard and unforgiving
heart. Saint Chrysostom was a godly but outspoken man; one of strong
convictions. He expressed an opinion that in his day the number of
bishops who might be saved bore a very small proportion to those who
would be damned. We live in better times, and the balance now would be
no doubt against the devil. At least let us be charitable, and hope so.
The Buccaneer kept his gaze fixed upon the East, and Dogvane was not
experiencing an ecstasy of delight. Presently his master cried, "Eh!
what is that I see?" Dogvane seized the glass and placed his eye to the
hole, "It is nothing, sir, but a dust storm. Such things are of frequent
occurrence in the East, and very trying and disagreeable they are to
those who have to live there. This is no doubt what that youngster,
Random Jack, made such a fuss about."
"But who is kicking up the dust?" the Buccaneer demanded. Dogvane ran
through a number of common and ordinary causes for such things, which
however did not seem to satisfy his master, who said to the captain's
surprise, "Dust storm, or no dust storm, Master Dogvane, I am going to
take a look there myself. There is no knowing but what the Bandit of the
East may be behind that cloud."
"Ah! the old scare!" muttered Dogvane. "Down on deck and pipe my yacht's
crew away!" cried the Buccaneer as he prepared to descend. Dogvane was
for making a thousand excuses, the manufacturing of which was to him a
matter of the greatest ease. But it was of no use, and so down he went
to comply with his master's bidding. He was still more horrified when he
learnt that it was his master's intention to make a few calls on his
neighbours on his way to the East.
"What do you want to leave home for now, sir, when all your people are
so happy and comfortable?" Dogvane asked as he went down through the
lubbers' hole.
"And what better time, pray, could I choose?"
"But your neighbours may not like to be taken thus unceremoniously?"
Dogvane said as he began to descend.
"A friend, Master Dogvane, is always welcome, and by our reception we
shall see in what estimation we are held."
"But, sir," cried Dogvane, looking up from the rigging.
"But me, no buts, Master Dogvane, but do as you are told; so down you
go."
Dogvane seemed to have lost somewhat of his alacrity, for he took a
terrible long time in reaching the deck, and kept up a running
accompaniment to his thoughts, which, however, was not loud enough to be
heard, and therefore cannot be recorded; though it is safe enough to
assume that so good a man made use of no bad language. Something
evidently troubled the old captain's mind, for when the two of them
reached the deck, he said, "Master, you must not listen to everything
you hear against the great Bandit of the East. People are not all honey
behind your back. In the past you have ever been too ready to draw the
sword, following the example of those who fight first, and argue
afterwards."
"Because, Master Dogvane, experience has taught me that if you thrash
your enemy first he is the more amenable to reason."
"That, honoured sir, was all very well in an uncivilized and barbarous
age. When the mind was not open to reason, and when the manners had not
been softened by Christianity, then the sword was, no doubt, a good
major premise; but now, sir, it should never be drawn except through
dire necessity. In a just and good cause I am ready to shed my last drop
of blood for you."
"Nobly said, Dogvane! nobly said!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, as he
slapped old Dogvane in an approving manner on the back, thereby nearly
knocking all the wind out of his body.
"But, mind you, master," Dogvane said, "I must be assured that the cause
is just. An appeal to arms should only take place when the noble art of
diplomacy has failed. Then, sir, by all manner of means draw the sword."
"Master Dogvane; tell me what is Diplomacy?" asked the Buccaneer.
"Diplomacy, sir, is the polished and courteous method that one nation
has of conducting business with another."
"To my mind, Master Dogvane, it is the polished method by which one
nation tries very often to overreach another. Strip it of its courtly
paraphernalia and you often find this Diplomacy to be a lying,
intriguing, cheating, and unprincipled rascal, that every honest man
ought to shun. Look you! it has been said that by this self-same
Diplomacy I have lost a good deal of what I have won in fair and open
fight."
Dogvane sighed over his master's want of enlightenment. But he knew too
well that in his present mood he was not to be reasoned with, so what
could a poor sailor do? What cannot be cured must be endured. Dogvane
felt assured that everything was to be put down to the fallacious
teachings of the Port Watch, and had he not been the pious man that he
was he would undoubtedly have damned all their knavish tricks, if
nothing else.
The cook, the butcher, and the carpenter, could see that something was
amiss by the troubled look upon their captain's face, so they were not
at all surprised to hear the bo'sn's whistle pipe the crew of the bold
Buccaneer's royal yacht away; to be one of the crew of which was
esteemed a great distinction, as it was a sure road to preferment. The
cook only hoped the old man, meaning the Buccaneer, was not going to
make a fool of himself; but he had his doubts, of course. Had the
sagacious and learned Pepper been one of the party to give his master
the benefit of his advice it would have been a different matter
altogether.
But where is the old cox'sn all this time. Is the Buccaneer going to
make his round of calls without his right-hand man?
Good people all, the cox'sn was on shore moving about amongst the
people, doing good after his humble fashion, wherever he could. He did
not always accompany his master, more is the pity; but the truth must be
told. He could not at all times get on with Captain Dogvane, and old
Jack Commonsense was not much of a traveller.