In the East there dwelt at this time a mighty Bandit, Bruin by name. He
was an old rival of the Buccaneer. It is said that birds of a feather,
either do, or should flock together; but as a matter of fact it is
frequently found that they do not; the feather being too often a bone of
contention. People would have thought that these two celebrities,
following as they did the same profession, with the exception that one
pushed his trade more by sea, and the other more by land, would have
lived peacefully one with another; more especially as they were
separated by a wide tract of land and sea. Many old saws and sayings
would justify this belief; but the Bandit and the Buccaneer could not
hit it off together. The latter being quite a reformed, God-fearing and
respectable man, no doubt looked with horror upon the life that the
former was leading. It was strange too; because the Bandit was an
eminently pious, and Christian gentleman also; but he had not as yet
made his pile, which of course made all the difference; and his people,
though many of them were slaves, were beginning to be unruly.
As to whether the Bandit was as cruel and as bad as he was said to be,
is open to doubt. It is well known that the devil is not as black as
what he is painted. Evil things were said even of the Ojabberaways, and
we know that once give a dog a bad name, and you may as well hang him,
or tie a string round his neck, and fling him into the nearest pond.
Some people no doubt would have gloried in seeing this Eastern Bandit
run up on the nearest tree; but then he required catching.
Of the living why not be truthful? There seems to be a prevalent opinion
that this should be the case when we discuss the characters of our
enemies, and more especially of our friends to whom we can make amends
by saying nothing but what is good of them when they are dead. This old
sea king whose history we take a delight in relating, had as has been
shown a very quick eye for the shortcomings of his friends. Looking over
the heads of his own little peccadillos, he fixed his keen gaze upon
those of his neighbours, and no one could find out an act of robbery
sooner than could this Buccaneering trader; then his virtuous
indignation knew no bounds.
It was indeed a belief of his, that most of his neighbours were
ambitious and designing, ever ready to feather their own nests at the
expense of other peoples. Yet they were all eminently religious, prayed
often, and professedly were all followers of the same great Master; but
they all slept in armour, and were ready on the slightest provocation to
fly at each other's throats. Our pious Buccaneer had learnt to look upon
the East as a sort of devil's playground, and the Bandit as the arch
fiend himself who he frequently thought was up to no good when the poor
gentleman was perhaps actually engaged in his devotions.
The slightest allusion to the Eastern Bandit always alarmed him, so the
command was given on board the old Ship of State to pipe all hands, and
presently the bo'sn's whistle, followed by those of all his mates,
sounded merrily along the decks. Those below hurried up, while those on
shore hastened on board, and the scene was soon one of the liveliest.
Just as the last man tumbled over the ship's side, there was a great
commotion at the Port gangway, and on looking over, a very queer
powerfully made fellow was to be seen trying to get on board; but the
rest of the ship's company would not have him at any price. Pepper, the
cook, said the man was a friend of his, in fact, his mate; but Pepper
spoke to deaf ears; for the fellow would not swear, and it is a well
known fact that a seaman who will not swear cannot be a good sailor.
Several of the hands seized upon the intruder, and suiting an old rhyme
to the occasion, they commenced to sing--
"Here comes a queer man
Who will not say his prayers,
So we take him by his two legs
And chuck him down the stairs."
And they did, much to honest Pepper's disgust, who rated and accused
them well for their trouble. The man himself as he swam ashore affirmed
that he would return and serve yet on board of the old ship. He kept his
word; was posted to Captain Dogvane's watch, and became very much
respected.
As was their custom, the Ojabberaways tried very hard to monopolize the
whole of the conversation, with their numerous complaints, and they
swore most stoutly that not a stitch of business should the Buccaneer do
until they were given their independence and freed from the yoke of the
tyrant. When they were told that all was being done for them that could
in justice to all interests be done, one of them said, "Indeed a mighty
deal too much has been done; but in the wrong direction. We ask for our
freedom, and you give us a rope and bid us go hang."
Here some one amongst the crew who apparently had caught a cold,
sneezed, this the Ojabberaways took as an additional insult upon their
unhappy country, and because the insult could not be withdrawn, they
created a great disturbance, to quell which, two or three of them had to
be thrown overboard. The ship thus lightened rode all the better, but
the cook said it was a sinful waste thus to sacrifice the Ojabberaways,
when there was the whole of the Buccaneer's Upper Chamber weighing the
old ship down by the stern. The discussion on board now took a lively
turn, upon an assertion which the carpenter had previously made about
boots and shoes being brisk. Some interested person declared that if the
trade was brisk the boots themselves were bad, as could be seen by the
Buccaneer's soldiers who were fighting in the East.
All the fat was now put into the fire, and there was a heated argument
as to whether the Buccaneer was or was not engaged in warlike
operations. There ought to have been no doubt about such a thing, but
there was. It was also asserted that the rascally contractor was at his
old game of starving both men and animals, or giving them bad food, and
so amassing a large fortune and qualifying himself for promotion to the
Buccaneer's Upper Chamber.
The Buccaneer turned for information to his trusty Captain Dogvane.
"How is this, Master Dogvane?" he asked, "I thought you said my
relations abroad were all good."
"Sir," replied the captain, "ever since the old Ship of State was built
have there been these differences of opinion, and God forbid that it
should be otherwise; it will be an evil day for my master when his
watches take so little interest in his affairs as to cease to have wordy
battles over them."
"But, Master Dogvane, whom am I to believe?"
"A straightforward question, sir, demands a straightforward reply.
Believe in me."
At this there were loud jeers from the other watch, and many voices were
heard to say: "Believe in him and he will run you pretty soon into shoal
water."
"Aye! aye!" cried Dogvane, "the same old cry. I have been man and boy on
board this old craft for many a long year, and these hands have held the
helm and so the old ship rides safe and sound. Her bluff old bows riding
superior to every storm. Have not gales and hurricanes swept over these
decks, and yet she has risen superior to all? Some say the old craft
alongside is in shallow water, and yet she seems peaceful and safe
enough."
Here Random Jack said the captain was, as usual, drifting from the
point.
"Of course, my little man, you must have your say. It was you that first
set this ball a-rolling; but hurry no man's cattle is a safe cry. I was
merely clearing my decks, as it were, for action."
Upon being pressed, Dogvane was obliged to admit that he was engaged in
operations of a warlike nature; but he went into so many subtle
distinctions as to the different kinds of warfare that nobody could
follow him. He swore that in the footsteps of the other watch followed
gratuitous and unprovoked war. "We are not now at war," he cried in
great warmth, "though I will not say that we are not engaged in some
kind of military operations which, however, though offensive in form are
purely defensive in essence." Dogvane being apparently afraid lest he
should be called upon for an explanation turned the conversation by
appealing to a weak part in his master's nature, namely, his religion.
"Can we ever forget," he said, "the Divine Master we follow? Can we
forget the principles of peace he taught us? The operations I am now
engaged in are only a part of that terrible inheritance that the other
watch left me." This of course brought down a storm upon him from the
other watch. "My aim," he continued, "ever has been to maintain a
friendly footing with all your neighbours, and by keeping them in union
together to neutralize, fetter, and bind up the selfish aims of each."
"And the result of your labours," cried the captain of the Port Watch,
"has been to estrange our master from all his friends and to land him in
incessant troubles. Have you not bombarded a friend's town?" he added,
"have you not massacred his people?"
Dogvane could not altogether deny this, so he said: "It is true that a
few forts have been knocked down, but they were better down than up; and
a few people have no doubt been killed, but what of that? Accidents will
happen in the very best regulated undertakings."
Thus did the argument continue to the utter confusion of the bold
Buccaneer who cast his eyes towards the Church Hulk alongside, and he
inwardly wished that all was as peaceful and secure as it seemed to be
there; but scarcely had the thought crossed his mind than a great hubbub
rose up and the sound of controversy became loud. All eyes were turned
towards the Church Hulk, and many feared they were about to witness one
of those religious disputes which occasionally are so bitter and even
disastrous. Some thought it must at least be a mutiny. Considerable
relief was felt when it was found upon inquiry that it was nothing more
serious than a discussion as to the shape and colour of the vestments in
which our Creator was to be worshipped in, and a rival sect nearly came
to blows over the form of an ecclesiastical hat. All this seemed
strange, because the Church Hulk professed to sail by orders which said:
"Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall
drink, nor yet for your body what ye shall put on."
If people squabble amongst themselves it soon becomes known, and it soon
began to be noised abroad that the Buccaneer's Church Hulk was in
danger, both from jealousy without and the want of Christian charity and
brotherly love within. It is certain that some of the crew of the Ship
of State had their eyes upon her, and it got rumoured abroad that some
fine morning people would wake up to find she had either slipped her
moorings or been cut adrift. But has not this rumour ever been a lying
rascal and a fit lieutenant for the devil himself?