Rubbernecking via the bally-ho wagons has received a terrible set-back in
the beautiful city of the Angels. No more will the gossip-hungry tourists
be fed on the scandal of the movie colony from a megaphone in the hands
of a husky-voiced “spieler.” An edict has gone forth forbidding these
caterers to wet the appetites of the unlearned and seeking visitors of
Los Angeles to exploit the “affairs” of the celebrities in press agent
fashion.
Los Angeles officials contend that it is no nice way to entertain their
guests where skeletons are said to exist in every closet in Hollywood.
There is no question but what the moving picture business has a lot of
deserving people in it, and some of the most admirable characters to be
found are of the cinema crowd, but we have recently had a few stellar
lights before the international eye in roles that were disgusting.
Here are some of the utterances the city fathers say should be dispensed
with:
=“To your right, folks, is the home of Charlie, now used
exclusively by Mildred and her mother, who is also her business
manager.”=
=“On your left is the home of Lottie, sister of Mary, who has a
standing offer to fight any woman in the business.”=
=“Jack, who is also one of the family, was living in the bungalow
on yonder hill before his wife came back from New York. He left
for Arkansas on the advice of his doctor the day before she
arrived. He was also in the service during the war.”=
=“Now folks this beautiful chateau on the right covering ten
acres is the possession of an illiterate cow-puncher, whose
salary is greater than the President’s.”=
=“To your left is the former home of Mable, when she wasn’t at
Vernon, and who is credited with staging a “come-back” after the
star of Sennett passed below her horizon.”=
=“The one who was once called “America’s Sweetheart” used to
live in sweet simplicity in the white bungalow on the right. She
used to be the idol of all children, but the page of her book is
closed that the youth should learn aright.”=
Is it any wonder that these “rubberneck” wagons did a thriving business
in Los Angeles? It is said that each “spieler” tried to outrival his
competitor and from all reports the tourists were well supplied with
scandal.
* * * * *
Girls should remember that when they confide in a married woman they are
probably confiding in her husband also.
_Whiz Bang Bunk_
As you show so shall we peep.
* * * * *
A shimmy dancer has to struggle for a living.
* * * * *
Many a rough neck is hidden by a silk collar.
* * * * *
Be it ever so homely there’s no face like your own.
* * * * *
You can’t feather your nest running after chickens.
* * * * *
Keeping whisky in your home is no crime--it’s an art.
* * * * *
Never slap children on the face; Nature provides a more suitable place.
* * * * *
Close the saloon and save the boys; close the garage and save the girls.
* * * * *
Sign in dry goods store: “Our woolen underwear will tickle you to death.”
* * * * *