BETTY WASHINGTON, AND WEDDINGS IN OLD VIRGINIA
In 1746 young Fielding Lewis came up from his family seat at
Marmion, bringing General Washington's aunt, Catharine Washington,
as his wife, and made his home at Kenmore in Fredericksburg. They
were married just one year before the birth of little John Lewis,
and Mrs. Henry Lee (the mother of "Light-horse Harry") and Mrs.
Mary Washington were godmothers. (Five times was this little fellow
destined to be married, and if a problem of involved relationship
be in order, he could furnish it. His first two wives were the
granddaughters of his great-aunt, Mildred Gregory, and his _last_
wife great-granddaughter of _her_ last husband!) But to return
to Fielding Lewis and Catharine (Washington) Lewis: the next
year (1748) Frances was born, George Washington (aged sixteen),
godfather--the next year (1749) the third child was born, and then
the poor young mother, having borne a child every year, was gathered
to her fathers and her children (January, 1750). All these events
were of keen interest to the family at "Pine Grove." In all these
functions nobody was more sympathetic than Betty Washington, now a
handsome maiden of seventeen. She took her little orphan cousins to
her heart, and in two months she comforted also the forlorn widower,
and became his wife.
[Illustration: Kenmore House.]
There is not the least doubt that she was given away by her
brother George, now eighteen years of age, and that Samuel, John
Augustine, and Charles, handsome, well-grown lads, were present
at her wedding. Charles was twelve years old; Samuel, sixteen.
Elizabeth was "a fine young woman." Describing her, Mr. Custis
used a favorite word of the day. Majesty being the highest of all
places, "Majestic" was the highest of all praise. Colonial beauties
were rarely described as "graceful," "winsome," "exquisite,"
"lovely"; they were "stately," "majestic," "queenly." They wore
stately garments,--paduasoy, from _soie de Padua_, where the strong,
lustrous silk so much worn by men and women was manufactured,
or "tabby" velvet and silk, the rich watered oriental fabric
manufactured in Attabya, a quarter in Bagdad. These were the
grandest, the most sumptuous fabrics known. The wife of Goldsmith's
Vicar was proud of her crimson paduasoy (the silk had given its name
to a garment). Samuel Pepys could not afford the genuine article,
but he boasted a "wastecoat of false tabby." Of course, a majestic
woman wore these rich materials, "silk gowns wad stand on end"
like the gowns of Dumbiedike's grandmother. Who could be majestic
in clinging, willowy chiffon? Elizabeth Washington, known by the
diminutive "Betty," undoubtedly enhanced her majesty by one or more
of these gowns made in the fashion invented by the artist Watteau.
As to the rest, we know she was "mannerly." Stately gowns befitted
stately manners. People "Sirred and Madamed" each other in true
Johnsonian style, with many a low courtesy, veiling the bosom with
outspread fan, and many a profound bow with hand on heart. There was
leisure for all this before the day of the trolley car and steam
car, or even the stage and omnibus; when in towns visits were made
at ten in the morning, and the visitors sent hither and thither in
sedan-chairs. Young ladies of her day were expert horsewomen. Those
of us who saw the portrait of Betty Washington at the Centennial in
New York can imagine her handsome figure on horseback. "She was a
most majestic woman," said Mr. Custis, adding that he perfectly well
remembered her, "and was so strikingly like the Chief her brother,
that it was a matter of frolic to throw a cloak around her, and
then place a military cap on her head: and such was the perfect
resemblance that had she appeared on her brother's steed, battalions
would have presented arms, and senates risen to do homage to the
chief." She adored her brother, and was proud to be so like him.
"Be good," she would say to her young friends in after life, "and I
will be General Washington for you!" Tying her hair in a cue, and
crowning it with a cocked hat, she would take a sword and masquerade
to their infinite amusement. She and her brother closely resembled
their mother in form, carriage, and the contour of their faces. They
inherited her splendid health, her mental strength, and her sterling
virtues--but _not_ her seriousness which grew to be a settled
sadness. Betty Washington was as merry-hearted a maiden as might be
found in that merry time.
If somebody had only thought of us at the great wedding at "Pine
Grove," when stately Elizabeth Washington was given in marriage to
the dignified, handsome Colonel Fielding Lewis, if somebody had only
described it for our sakes, we should not be obliged to imagine it!
The three great social occasions of domestic life were weddings,
christenings, and funerals. These were solemnized, if not too
distant, in churches. The bride on the large isolated estates made
her vows in her own home, in her own home consecrated her offspring,
from her own home was borne at last to her final resting-place. A
wedding lasted many days, during which the house was filled with
feasting kindred, coming from far and near. Social usage varied so
little in colonial Virginia that we are quite safe in noting some
features of Betty Washington's wedding. Of some things we may be
sure,--first, there is not the least doubt that she chose her own
husband.
One of the first fruits of the spirit of freedom was the American
girl's determination henceforth to choose her husband. She made
mistakes sometimes, poor child, but was probably silenced by the
reflection that she had no one to blame but herself. She was much
under the influence of French fashions, but had a prejudice against
the French manner of conducting matrimonial alliances, while the
French at once conceived a horror of the American departure. "We
must marry our daughters as soon as possible," said a Frenchwoman to
an easy-going American husband. "If we do not take care, she will be
like your terrible Americans, and end by joining in the '_hount for
housband_'!" dropping her French to quote the enormity in its own
appropriate tongue.
Something of the old-time English customs in contracting parties
remained in the formal correspondence of the prospective
bridegroom's father with the father of the bride-elect, presumably
before the young lady had been consulted. The former stated that his
son proposed "paying his addresses," and he therefore announced the
number of acres and slaves, and the kind of house he could give his
son, and, without any expression of romance or sentiment, politely
requested a similar statement from the "party of the second part."
This party informs the other that his son has applied for "leave to
make his addresses," and states what _he_ can do.
Of course, it sometimes happened that the matter rested just
here--the ideas on one side or the other being unsatisfactory. Then
it was that Cupid had his opportunity! More than one lover has
hidden in the close-screened, cedar summer-house, and more than one
maiden has stolen in the gray dawn from her back door, disguised
as her own maid, to join him in an early horseback ride to Gretna
Green. Moreover, more than one such maiden was "cut off with a
shilling" by an injured father, and went through her life stoutly
declaring herself the happiest woman in the world, albeit not as
rich in worldly goods as her dutiful sisters!
Betty Washington's wedding-dress we must imagine. It was probably
not unlike Martha Custis's wedding-gown a few years later. This
was thus described by one of her guests: a white satin quilt, over
which a heavy white silk, interwoven with threads of silver, was
looped back with white satin ribbons, richly brocaded in a leaf
pattern. Her bodice was of plain satin, and the brocade was fastened
on the bust with a stiff butterfly bow of the ribbon. Delicate
lace finished the low, square neck. There were close elbow-sleeves
revealing a puff and frill of lace. Strings of pearls were woven in
and out of her powdered hair. Her high-heeled slippers were of white
satin, with brilliant buckles. Just this dress, in style if not
material, was certainly worn by Betty.
Her mother being a devout churchwoman, she was probably married at
church. And if Colonel Lewis chose to follow the fashion of the day,
he was brave indeed in a white satin vest, a suit of fine cloth
lined with crimson satin, fine lace at wrist and throat, and diamond
(or was it paste?) buckles at knee and shoe top.
Our forefathers and foremothers wore good clothes in 1750!
We may be sure that none of the orthodox wedding customs and
ceremonies were omitted by Mary Washington at her daughter's
marriage. There were certainly bride's favors, wedding-cake, ring,
and thimble, and, alas! the slipper and rice. The bride was duly
provided, for her bridal costume, with
"Something old, and something new,
Something borrowed and something blue."
The "old" was oftenest an heirloom of lace; the "borrowed," an
orange blossom or two which had been worn by other brides; the
"blue," a tiny knot of ribbon on the garter.
These ceremonies were full of significance, and in observing them,
the bride linked herself in the long chain which stretches back to
the early stages of the world. The wedding-ring, and the choice of
the third finger as being connected with the heart, are mentioned in
old Egyptian literature. The blue ribbon, whether worn as a badge,
or order, or at bridals, comes down from the ancient Israelites,
who were bidden to put upon the borders of their fringed garments a
"ribband of blue"--blue, the color of purity, loyalty, and fidelity.
Bridesmaids were a relic of the ten witnesses of old Roman weddings.
Bride's cake and rice, of the aristocratic Roman _confarreatio_.
The Spanish custom of wearing fragments cut from the bride's
ribbons, first introduced into England when Charles II brought
home his Katharine of Portugal to be England's queen, survived in
the enormous white satin rosettes (bride's favors) worn by the
groomsmen, and survives to-day in the boutonnières of the bride's
flowers. The old and the new symbolize her past and future--not
divided, but united. The "something borrowed" signifies a pledge to
be redeemed. Nothing is without significance, which accounts for
the fact that all these old-time customs continue from century to
century, and are so jealously observed to-day.
One of the eighteenth-century customs, has, however, been lost
in the hurry and rush of our own time. The "infair," the faring
into the house of the bridegroom's parents, was quite as lengthy
and important a function as the wedding. This great housewarming
entertainment to celebrate the reception into the bridegroom's
family was an ancient English custom, religiously observed in
Virginia until the middle of the nineteenth century.
The quantity of wedding-cake made in the Virginia kitchens was
simply astounding! It was packed in baskets and sent all over the
country to be eaten by the elders and "dreamed on" by the maidens.
What would Betty Washington and Colonel Lewis have thought of a
wedding reception of an hour, and then a flitting to parts unknown,
leaving the world to comfort itself with a small square of cake in
a pasteboard box? Such behavior would have been little less than
"flat burglary," defrauding people of their just dues.
[Illustration: The Hall at Kenmore, showing the Clock which belonged
to Mary Washington.]
Colonel Fielding Lewis, although young, was already a merchant of
high standing and wealth, a vestryman, magistrate, and burgess.
Kenmore, near Fredericksburg, was built for him, that his wife might
be near her mother. The mansion, still kept in excellent repair, was
reckoned a fine one at the time. It was built of brick and skilfully
decorated by Italian artists. Betty wrote to her brother George that
their "invention had given out," and invited him to contribute
something. It is said that he designed the decoration illustrating
Æsop's fable of the Crow and the Fox, which adorns the drawing-room
mantel to-day. It is in stucco, and besides illustrating the fable
of the wheedling fox who seeks to gain booty by a smooth tongue,
another fable--the wolf accusing the lamb of fouling the water--is
represented. The story told at Kenmore is of Italians captured in
the French army as prisoners of war, who were led by choice or
necessity to remain in America, where they plied their trade of
decorators.
[Illustration: NELLIE CUSTIS.]
Nine months after Betty Washington's wedding, on St. Valentine's
day, 1751, another Fielding Lewis was born, and George Washington,
just nineteen, was godfather, his mother, godmother. Having done
her duty to her husband, Betty in 1752 named her next son John
Augustine, and her brother Charles, fourteen years old, was
godfather. A third boy was born, 1755, and Charles was again
godfather. In 1757 she named a fourth son George Washington, and,
in 1759, Mary Washington was sponsor for a little Mary Lewis, and
Samuel Washington, godfather. Then, in 1760, a year after his own
marriage, we find George Washington and his mother sponsors for
a Charles Lewis. Samuel and Betty were born respectively in 1763
and 1765, and in April, Lawrence, the lucky,--destined to win "the
nation's pride," lovely Nellie Custis, the adopted daughter of
General Washington. Then Robert and Howell were born. Again, and
yet again, was the traditional gown of black brocade brought forth
by the proud grandmother, as Betty claimed her mother and brothers
for the important and solemn office of sponsors for her splendid
boys--boys that followed their illustrious uncle all through the
war of the Revolution, and to whom he was ever the most faithful of
friends and guardians.