PROVIDENTIAL DELIVERANCE.
OFFERED FOR SALE.--EXAMINED BY PURCHASERS.--PLEAD
WITH MY YOUNG MASTER IN VAIN.--MAN'S EXTREMITY, GOD'S
OPPORTUNITY.--GOOD FOR EVIL.--RETURN NORTH.--MY INCREASED
VALUE.--RESOLVE TO BE A SLAVE NO LONGER.
In a few days after this trying crisis in my life, we arrived at New
Orleans. The little that remained of our cargo was soon sold, the men
were discharged, and nothing was left but to dispose of me, and break
up the boat, and then Master Amos would take passage on a steamboat,
and go home. There was no longer any disguise about the disposition
which was to be made of me. Master Amos acknowledged that such were
his instructions, and he set about fulfilling them. Several planters
came to the boat to look at me; I was sent on some hasty errand that
they might see how I could run; my points were canvassed as those of
a horse would have been; and, doubtless, some account of my various
faculties entered into the discussion of the bargain, that my value
as a domestic animal might be enhanced. Master Amos had talked, with
apparent kindness, about getting me a good master, who would employ me
as a coachman, or as a house-servant; but as time passed on I could
discern no particular effort of the kind.
In our intervals of leisure I tried every possible means to move his
heart. With tears and groans I besought him not to sell me away from
my wife and children. I dwelt on my past services to his father,
and called to his remembrance a thousand things I had done for him
personally. I told him about the wretched condition of the slaves I
had seen near Vicksburg. Sometimes he would shed tears himself, and
say he was sorry for me. But still I saw his purpose was unchanged.
He now kept out of my way as much as possible, and forestalled every
effort I made to talk with him. His conscience evidently troubled
him. He knew he was doing a cruel and wicked thing, and wanted to
escape from thinking about it. I followed him up hard, for I was
supplicating for my life. I fell down and clung to his knees in
entreaties. Sometimes when too closely pressed, he would curse and
strike me. May God forgive him. And yet it was not all his fault. He
was made so by the accursed relation of slavemaster and slave. I was
property,--not a man, not a father, not a husband. And the laws of
property and self-interest, not of humanity and love, bore sway.
At length everything was wound up but this single affair. I was to
be sold the next day, and Master Amos was to set off on his return,
in a steamboat, at six o'clock in the afternoon. I could not sleep
that night; its hours seemed interminably long, though it was one of
the shortest of the year. The slow way in which we had come down had
brought us to the long days and heats of June; and everybody knows
what the climate of New Orleans is at that period of the year.
And now occurred one of those sudden, marked interpositions of
Providence, by which in a moment the whole current of a human being's
life is changed; one of those slight and, at first, unappreciated
contingencies, by which the faith that man's extremity is God's
opportunity is kept alive. Little did I think, when a little before
daylight Master Amos called me and told me he felt sick, how much my
future was bound up in those few words. His stomach was disordered,
and I advised him to lie down again, thinking it would soon pass off.
Before long he felt worse, and it was soon evident that the river
fever was upon him. He became rapidly ill, and by eight o'clock in
the morning was utterly prostrate. The tables were now turned. I was
no longer property, no longer a brute beast to be bought and sold,
but his only friend in the midst of strangers. Oh, how different
was his tone from what it had been the day before! He was now the
supplicant. A poor, terrified object, afraid of death, and writhing
with pain, there lay the late arbiter of my destiny. How he besought
me to forgive him. "Stick to me, Sie! Stick to me, Sie! Don't leave
me, don't leave me. I'm sorry I was going to sell you." Sometimes he
would say he had only been joking, and never intended to part with
me. Yes, the tables were utterly turned. He entreated me to dispatch
matters, sell the flat-boat in which we had been living, and get him
and his trunk, containing the proceeds of the trip, on board the
steamer as quick as possible. I attended to all his requests, and by
twelve o'clock that day he was in one of the cabins of the steamer
appropriated to sick passengers.
O, my God! how my heart sang jubilees of praise to Thee, as the
steamboat swung loose from the levee and breasted the mighty tide of
the Mississippi! Away from this land of bondage and death! Away from
misery and despair! Once more exulting hope possessed me. This time if
I do not open my way to freedom, may God never give me chance again!
Before we had proceeded many hours on our voyage, a change for the
better appeared in my young master. The change of air in a measure
revived him; and well it was for him that such was the case. Short
as his illness had been, the fever had raged like a fire, and he was
already near death. I watched and nursed him like a mother; for all
remembrance of personal wrong was obliterated at sight of his peril.
His eyes followed me in entreaty wherever I went. His strength was
so entirely gone that he could neither speak nor move a limb, and
could only indicate his wish for a teaspoonful of gruel, or something
to moisten his throat, by a feeble motion of his lips. I nursed him
carefully and constantly. Nothing else could have saved his life. It
hung by a thread for a long time. We were as much as twelve days in
reaching home, for the water was low at that season, particularly in
the Ohio river; and when we arrived at our landing he was still unable
to speak, and could only be moved on a sheet or a litter. Something
of this sort was soon fixed up at the landing, on which he could be
carried to the house, which was five miles off; and I got a party of
the slaves belonging to the estate to form relays for the purpose.
As we approached the house, the surprise at seeing me back again,
and the perplexity to imagine what I was bringing along, with such a
party, were extreme; but the discovery was soon made which explained
the strange appearance; and the grief of father and mother, and
brothers and sisters, made itself seen and heard. Loud and long were
the lamentations over poor Amos; and when the family came a little to
themselves, great were the commendations bestowed upon me for my care
of him and of the property.
Although we reached home by the tenth of July, it was not until
the middle of August that Master Amos was well enough to leave his
chamber. To do him justice, he manifested strong gratitude towards me.
Almost his first words after recovering his strength sufficiently
to talk, were in commendation of my conduct. "If I had sold him I
should have died." On the rest of the family no permanent impression
seemed to have been made. The first few words of praise were all I
ever received. I was set at my old work. My merits, whatever they
were, instead of exciting sympathy or any feeling of attachment to me,
seemed only to enhance my market value in their eyes. I saw that my
master's only thought was to render me profitable to himself. From him
I had nothing to hope, and I turned my thoughts to myself and my own
energies.
Before long I felt assured another attempt would be made to dispose
of me. Providence seemed to have interfered once to defeat the
scheme, but I could not expect such extraordinary circumstances to
be repeated; and I was bound to do everything in my power to secure
myself and my family from the wicked conspiracy of Isaac and Amos
Riley against my life, as well as against my natural rights, and those
which I had acquired, under even the barbarous laws of slavery, by
the money I had paid for myself. If Isaac would only have been honest
enough to adhere to his bargain, I would have adhered to mine, and
paid him all I had promised. But his attempt to kidnap me again,
after having pocketed three-fourths of my market value, in my opinion
absolved me from all obligation to pay him any more, or to continue in
a position which exposed me to his machinations.