A good deal of dissatisfaction is expressed with the state of the
cellars to which people have been invited during the raids. "Surely,"
writes one of our correspondents, "it is a scandal that, at this time
in the world's history, some cellars should be totally destitute
of wine. That there should be no coal in the coal-cellars is
understandable enough; but to ask the timid public into empty wine
cellars is a travesty of hospitality."
* * * * *
Every effort will be made when the House reassembles to provide
separate cellars for the SPEAKER and Mr. PEMBERTON BILLING.
* * * * *
Mr. JIMMY WILDE, the Welsh boxer, it has been widely announced, had a
marvellous escape from an air-bomb. The little champion (for once not
in a position to hit back) was standing in the door of his hotel when
the projectile dropped, and blew him along the passage, but inflicted
no injuries. The world will therefore hear from Mr. WILDE again, whose
future antagonists should view with a shudder this inability of the
Gothas to knock him out.
* * * * *
Mr. WILDE is, however, not alone in his good fortune. From all the
bombarded parts, and from some others, come news of remarkable pieces
of good luck, due almost or wholly to the fact that the bombs fell on
spots where our correspondents were not standing, although they might
easily have been there had they not been elsewhere. The similarity of
their experience is indeed most striking.
* * * * *
Mr. HAROLD BEGBIE, for example, who disapproves of soldiers laughing,
happened to be in the country on the night of the 24th. Had he been
in town he might, in a melancholy reverie caused by the incorrigible
light-heartedness of his fellow-countrymen, have wandered bang into
the danger zone. No one can be too thankful that he did not.
* * * * *
Sir HENRY WOOD'S project to play TCHAIKOVSKY'S "1812" in such
perfect time that the audience will have the pleasure of hearing our
anti-aircraft men supply the big-gun effects, although laudable, is,
it is feared, doomed to failure.
* * * * *
There was no air raid over London on Wednesday the 26th. The sudden
noise (which happily produced no panic) in His Majesty's Theatre was
merely Miss LILY BRAYTON dropping the clothes she was not wearing.
* * * * *
A CONSTANT RAIDER writes:--"It is understood that the German
airmen's motto--borrowed, without acknowledgment, from the dental
profession--is 'We spare no panes.'"
* * * * *
In view of recent events Miss TENNYSON JESSE is considering whether
her new novel, _Secret Bread_, should be renamed _Air-raided Bread_.
* * * * *
Mr. CHARLES COCHRAN is very anxious that it should be known that not a
single bomb hit him. Had any of them done so, the consequences might
have been very serious. This happy immunity being his, he wishes it
also to be known that his various and meritorious theatres are doing
even more astonishing business than before.
* * * * *
Mr. COCHRAN, however, together with other theatrical managers, has a
dangerous rival. The raids are threatening to ruin the matinées now so
prevalent by setting up counter attractions. The thousands of people
(not only errand-boys) who now stand all day to watch the workmen mend
a hole in the roadway caused by a bomb would otherwise, but for this
engrossing and never tedious spectacle, be in this theatre or that.
* * * * *
Mr. HALL CAINE telegraphs from the Isle of Man that no bombs having
fallen there he remains intact.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "GOOD NEWS, LADS; WE'VE GOT A CHANGE FER TEA TO-NIGHT."
"WHAT IS IT?" "ROUND BISCUITS INSTEAD O' SQUARE ONES."]
* * * * *