By Correspondents.
From a butcher at Berhampoor, India, to a customer:
"To his Highness--Kid Esquire
"The humble butcher, Nows Rouny, Restpectfully sheweth that for your
honor has sent a good beef, 1 rump and pleased to take it and pay day
labor of bearer coolly. As your obedient butcher shall ever pray."
From a scholar in India to his master:
"My dear Sir: I humbly beg to inform you pleas to give me leaf for one
week because I cannot walk with my feet, I am very uncomfortable. Give
my compliments to My Master. I pray to God for Everlasting life. I am
your humble Servant Shebart Lall."
From an Indian school-boy:
"Benevolent Sir: The wolf of sickness has laid hold on the flock of my
health."
From an Indian clerk:
"Sir. Being afflicted to the stomach and vomiteng I am sorry I cannot
attend to office today."
From a Canadian lady to eligible gentleman:
"Dear Mr. B. I, Mrs. Wigston wish you would call on my daughter Amelia.
She is very amusing and is a regular young flirt. She can sing like a
hunny bee and her papa can play on the fiddle nicely and we might have a
rare ho-down. Amelia is highely educated, she can dance like a
grasshopper looking for grub and she can meke beautiful bread, it tastes
just like hunny bees' bread and for pumpkin pies she can't be beat. In
fact she's ahead of all F girls and will make a good wife for any man.
"Yours truly
"Mrs. Wigston.
"Bring your brother."
From a school-boy to the elder Booth:
"West House School. Prospect N.Y.
"Dear Sur and Frend.
"Heering that you was going to come to Uttica to perform in a play
called Hamlit I would like to say that us boys is gitting up a Exibition
for the benefit of diseased soldiers and their widows and orfans and
would like to engage you to do the leading part. I have talked it up
with the boys and we will do the squire thing by you and I am arterised
to make you the following offer. We will come doun after you with a good
conveyance and will give you at the rate of 10 dollars a day and board
and shall want you one week. If you think it necessary you can have one
or two of our best women actors to come up with you but we can't pay
them over three dollars a day and feed. You can have some fun at a
hunting deer and foxes around Flamburgs and Ed Wilkisun's. Pleas let me
know as soon as you can.
"Yours truly James Sweet.
"If you come callating to hunt get Frank Meyer's hound she is a good
one."
We subjoin several letters received by a New York publishing house:
"---- La, Nov 18, 188-.
"Dear Sir. I have seated my self down to pen you a few lines in reguards
off your high degrode Tex Books Sir I wish you would forward to me in
the next Mail a Cataloudge off all of your Edgucational old and latest
publish books in Market I stand in need off a good set of books and when
I receive your Cataloudge I will send on immeadily and get a Selecticed
outfit of your books. By so doing you will oblidge yours & Etc."
"dear Sr I saw A smawl list of yours embraces standard works in every
department of study and for every grade of classes from the _primary_
school to the _university_ I desire to have correspondence with you and
as I taught school for threw 3 seson in the ninth district of Fuentress
County tennessee and i quit eimet with Cooper and our country need
instruction and except we get the implement for instruction we may all
ways espect ignorant. turn over. Mr I want you to send educational list
of your standard works and also A copy Book that I may instruct my
studentes more correctly and I profer to take Agents if hit is not
contrary to law if your work can sold with out paing tax or lison
"and A blige youres truley Joel E Atkinson school teacher 9 deistrict
Fuentress co Logan Finch Chareles Atkinson J Hall e school directers in
my distrectes."
"Dear Sir I want you to send me a catalogue the Emblem book and tell me
what it will cost I think I can Sell as Many as Fifteen be sure and give
the Price that is what they want to know Dear Sir I Received your Copy
Oct 9th 1881 if you charge Any thing for composeing them letters write
to me and I will pay will Send it by Mail in one cent stamps you need
not to think I want to swinle you out of one cent I will do Every thing
I say I will do So if you will write and give the Price of the Emblem
and the love writer and chart and key of the Spenserion cystem and they
like I will get up a subscription and send the Money for them
immediately Dear Sir tell me what is the Emblem of a red rose and white
rose of a boca."
"Dear Sir:
"Wilt please send me a description of your outfit of Books and give me
one or two iedies abought the catalogue price of your English, Latin
Greek brench and stanish Italian Hebrew and Siyuriak books to my
address. I has issued out orders bot comisition &c--my trustee tell me
that only two D V z and in New York at the time it Feby. the 15 my No of
books is twenty five and I desire one complet Example of your best books
if you can Conven'y furnish my needs wright at once I will be more an
obliged to you. Looking by every mail for your returns Soon, so please
your truly servant.
"I am dear Sir:
"My name in Full
"* * * *."
"Dear Sir:
"Understanding that You possess some Influence among the Bord of
Directors of your fine books and for useful learning for Schools I beg
to Solicit your interest for Me I want to Purchase Some Usful Books and
Messrs please send me one of your Cataloges you well obligde me Much in
so doing, & Far my Friends I Will tell You I have a great many of
Relitives who would wish to Purchase some book if could be bought from
you below Price My Frend you must excuse my Hasty note for the Small
time Was at Hand and all so my Frend you must excuse my Led Pensel.
Wright my soon Frend I will close and will shew you that you will be
remembered by Sirs Your Obedient & Fathful Servants ----."
"Sir: I now write to you to ask you information on book lines Sir. i
have seen some of your books and the suited me very much on Edjucational
and Sir i did suspect to start To Teach School in the Same Ward And i
Wanted to get a fenel Resortment of of Books and i Wanted To get My
books from you and i Wanted Like to know how you Would Reply me them And
i hope when you Riseived this Letter that you Would Write Wright away At
once And give me the full Address how to send for These Books And i Want
to Know Wethe I give you the Wright Address Sir your Friend ---- Would
like To Read A Letter from under your Hand And i Want you To please To
give me your Address of All kines of Books that yu have i Exspect to
start School soon & i had much Applications By pupils that Lives A.
Rounds in the Sections Where i Lives ses ef i gets the Books they Would
Buy them from me i hope that you Would Wright As Soon as Posable And Let
me know so that i Can Write Again And please To Send me some of your
paper so that i Can Read them to the people so Them Can Believe that i
did wrote here When you Write please To Direct your Letter to ---- so i
hope you Will Write Soon And please fail not To Send me some of your
Papers And Direct me how To Get Money to you When i Send for Books fail
not To Direct your Letter to ---- Post-office. So i have no more to
Write i Will Close & Remain
"Your Truly Friend."
"M---- Ala.
"Oct 13th 1881. Dear Sir Dear Friend you will please Send me one line of
capitals letters one line of the small letters and Show me the space how
far up and how far down and write & tell me what the chart and frey with
cost, the chart of the Standard System is the one I want. there is Eight
men I have shewn your copy you sent to me they say they intend to have
one chart a piece Dear Sir I have been talking with Several young Men
about love writers I want you to compose three letters consisting of
love and poetry write one as though you loved her and want to marry her.
one as though she had Slighted you. the Next one as you think best
Compose them and Send them to me and I will shew them to the Boys I am
satisfied they will be sure to by."
Letter to an editor:
"Dear Sir--:
"The hystoric apple that tossed about and struck Sir Isaac Newton landed
finally, in revealing its inner nature its hidden meaning, not only as a
consolation but also of universal utility in all scientific branges:
"Or out of the simbols of the ancient World, up to the real discoveries
of the present time proceeded the solution of the relation of the
Eternal time, motion, and distance. Which set forte the discovery of the
generational cosmological Parents of this planet, are discovered that
these can be seen by all mankind.
"Resp."
Letter received by a cotton-broker:
"Flat Town Dec. 30th
"Messrs.
"J---- W---- & Co
"Sir. Gentlemen.
"The shipments from this out the balance of the season will be for more
on the count. last year was a short crop and two weeks erly than this
season and people sold rite strate a long here last season and the
biggest and best farmers this season are holding looking forward to
Biger prices I have gathered 80 bales and 15 or 16 more in the field yet
to pick so you see when I make my estimate in this county they are a
power of cotton on the fields yet to pick and a grate eel in houses not
gined up yet, gust act as if those deals were your own shood you close
them out gust credit my account with the profitts but dont close them
out until you think it has tuch bottom then I want you to by me the same
amount but don't by till you think it the rite time and then shood you
see a proffit in it Turn it loose without ever consulting me if it
clears up cold we will have Kilan frost but it can't hurt here for the
crop is made.
"I remain yours very truly."
Another letter to a cotton-broker:
"Messrs. W---- W---- & Co.
"Sir Gents
"I have gust got in form the West and find your letter stating that corn
had touched bottom which I do think myself it has, but it has avanced so
much now I don't noe that it wood pay me much either way now. had I bin
at home I shood of closed out and of Bout the same amount was my Idee.
we are from ten days to fully two weeks backwards with our crops owing
to our wet weather but that donte say they won't be as much made as was
last year while we are backward there are more fertilizers yoused than
ware last year and more Acreage our country is in a better condision to
make a crop and I expect the west ginerally that way at the same time I
am only one neighbourhood. pleas let me hear from you more fully on the
matter hoping to hear from you soon I remain
"yours verry truly
"I will act according to your council."
A Georgia merchant received a short time since the following order from
a customer:
"Mr. B----, please send me $1 worth of coffy and $1 worth of shoogar,
some small nales. My wife had a baby last nite, also two padlocks and a
monkey rench."