"Let me not dwell so much within
My bounded heart with anxious heed,
Where all my searches meet with doubt,
And nothing satisfies my need;
It shuts me from the sound and sight
Of that pure world of life and light
Which has no breadth, or length, or height."
--_A. L. Waring._
Kate had long ago become accustomed to these uncertain movements of
Grace, and was therefore not alarmed at her prolonged absence. She sat
in a cozy chair, reading the last letter from Mrs. Hayden, when Grace
entered.
"What makes you look so sober, Gracious?" she asked, tenderly, after the
hat and sketch book were laid aside and they had settled themselves for
their usual chat.
"Oh, Kate, I had a lovely time to-day, with all the beautiful sights out
in the country; I wish you could see how much more there is in nature
since we have studied Christian Healing," was the evasive reply.
"I think we see more in everything," said Kate, whose curiosity was
rather _piqued_ by the evasiveness, though she made no sign, "because
everything stands for something. It is like the x in algebra, and
interesting as the unknown quantity."
Grace smiled a little. She was thinking of a different kind of "unknown
quantity."
"Don't you want to hear Mrs. Hayden's letter?" asked Kate, wondering
more and more over the _distrait_ manner and dreamy absorption of her
friend.
"The letter, why, of course; where is it?"
"Here; shall I read it?"
"Certainly."
Grace grew more interested as the reading went on. "That is decidedly
the most reasonable explanation of the atonement I have ever heard," she
exclaimed at the close.
"Yes, it is reasonable and beautiful I must admit," said Kate, "but when
I first read the letter my old fear came back for a moment that possibly
it was all wrong, but I remembered my right to an interpretation. That
one thought has been more helpful to me than any other, for it has
brought such a sense of liberty. Then I looked up the quotation about
the 'word of reconciliation,' and I must say it is so perfectly plain I
can not see why it has been so overlooked and neglected before."
"Where is it? I did not catch that," said Grace, following Kate's finger
as she pointed to the passage in the Bible.
"There is something so sacred in these meanings," resumed Kate, "and if
I may only get the truth, I care not what any one says about it. I see
now wherein lies the whole misconception or misinterpretation rather. It
is in the idea of God. If we conceive of Him as limited to human ways
and capacities, as the ancient Hebrews did, we naturally ascribe such
works to Him."
"In other words," added Grace, "we judge God entirely by ourselves. If
we are broad and loving in our nature and character it is easy for us to
regard God as love. If we are vindictive and revengeful, we can readily
see Him as angry and unrelenting."
"Yes, we are so apt to judge the whole world and God, too, by our
moods," replied Kate, thoughtfully.
"As Emerson says, 'we see in others what we are ourselves,'" quoted
Grace, removing her jacket which until now she had retained in order to
get warm after her evening journey.
"Oh! what do you think of what Mrs. Hayden says about marriage?" asked
Kate, putting her pencil in her mouth as she held both hands out to
assist Grace.
"She doesn't say enough to give an opinion," replied Grace, "but there
must be something in her mind or she would not write about it now."
"Her ideas must be very exalted, and I hope to know what they are, for
it is a very important question," said Kate, with a casual glance toward
her companion, as she bit the end of the pencil.
"Mrs. Hayden decidedly denies the imputation laid to Christian Healing,
that it is opposed to marriage, or that it tends to separate families,"
said Grace, with more interest than Kate would have thought possible a
week ago.
"I did not know any such imputation had been laid to it," rejoined Kate,
opening her eyes in astonishment.
"Oh, yes, I have heard it several times, but people will talk whether
they know anything or not. I am glad Mrs. Hayden mentions it for that is
enough to show there is absolutely no foundation for such statements."
Grace moved her chair and put her elbow on the table so she might shade
her eyes with her hand.
"Why, I don't see how people can say such things; surely the tendency is
to draw families into closer bonds of sympathy and affection," exclaimed
Kate, in questioning innocence.
"It ought to be," replied Grace, thoughtfully, "and undoubtedly is," she
added.
"What do _you_ think of this question, Grace?" Kate ventured to ask. At
any other time she would not have dared approach the subject, but Grace
seemed more pliable to-night for some reason.
"What question?" asked Grace, rousing from her reverie. "Oh, marriage.
Well, sometimes I have thought the query going the rounds of the press,
'Is marriage a failure?' a very pertinent one, but of course that
doesn't touch the principle itself. That is right and can never be
otherwise."
"Most people talk and write as seriously as though it _does_ touch the
principle."
"That is because they judge the principle by the persons representing
it, whereas they should stop and consider that humanity is prone to
weakness and often fails to demonstrate its high ideals."
"And it is because of failure they think there is something wrong. Take
an individual case, for instance, and there are thousands. If a girl
marries unhappily, she thinks there must be something wrong in the
whole system, for she judges everybody's misery by her own," said Kate,
secretly wishing Grace would be more confidential, and not so coldly
intellectual.
"Then the way to a happy judgment of this question would be a happy
marriage, you think?" laughed Grace, with a faint blush, looking up
inquiringly.
"Don't trifle Grace. You know I said it all earnestly, and really it is
no matter to trifle over, any way."
"Well, that is true, Kate," replied Grace more soberly. "I don't believe
anybody takes the question seriously enough. It is certainly the most
important of all things to consider."
"Do you think it right to enter marriage for any other reason than pure
and devoted affection?" persisted Kate.
"No, I do not. Why do you ask?" demanded Grace rather sharply.
"Because that is the solution of the whole problem. If they would begin
to talk about love instead of marriage being a failure, they would get
some light on it," a little impatiently.
Grace looked up in surprise.
"I know," continued Kate, "it is because people are mistaken or misled
in their reasons for marriage, that it even has a semblance of failure."
"That is one reason, certainly, and another is that they do not
understand each other's motives, or have not the patience to bear with
each other's faults. We can easily see how misunderstandings can be put
away when there is true love, when we determine to see only the good,
and learn to 'resist not evil.' That is one of the strong points in
Jesus the Christ's teachings," said Grace with unwonted earnestness.
"I am so sorry people can't see it in the right light," added Kate,
regretfully.
"You can have much charity for them, for it is just what you would have
said or thought, if you had not studied the matter yourself. You
remember how Mr. Narrow influenced you and biased your judgment?"
"Yes, and I see as never before that the 'Truth makes us free.'
'He is a freeman whom the truth makes free.
And all are slaves besides,'"
said Grace, as she reached for the sketch book to look over her work of
the afternoon.
"It is no use, she never will say anything, even when she might,"
thought Kate as she reviewed the events of the past few days. She half
reproached herself for allowing anything to take her mind from the one
special theme in which at last she had become thoroughly interested. She
was eager to learn, to search in all directions for the meaning of
things. Slowly the little grain of faith was growing into the mighty
tree.
Enchanting Truth so round, so perfect, so beautiful,--no wonder we must
reach out in every direction for the knowledge of thy fair signs that we
may more correctly and more fully realize the perfect revealment of our
own divinity.