What I did not know, what I knew that I did not express, others would
learn, others would say.
There was a little instant of silence and remoteness around me as I
underwent the experience that goes with such realization.
A calm.
The Crépuscule was a long way off--the sound and sight and smell of a
dim restaurant.
The trio was playing "Ja-da," I finally realized.
Yvonne snapped her fingers in my face and laughed. "If you must
daydream, put me in the act."
"What part do you want?"
"I'm a woman," she said. "And, according to you, I can play only one
part. I'll be the sins of your mind. Do your evil for you. Kiss the
cashiers and encourage little children to undress each other. Throw
stones at cathedral windows--"
"It's your life. And your sin-list. Go ahead."
"_Your_ list."
"You're sticking to _acts_. And mighty compulsive ones, too. All I've
done is to give such matters subjective consideration."
"The thought is father to the deed."
"Then for God's sake be more attentive to what you think!"
"Jesuit!"
"I'm the nemesis of that whole philosophy."
"At least--you're sincere. I didn't believe so, when I read your books.
I thought you were just fond of shocking people."
"I could never shock them a millionth part of the amount they've
shocked me."
"But you did your best?"