The annual general meeting of the Amalgamated British Society for
the Supply of Laureates to the public was held yesterday. There was
a numerous attendance of authors and reviewers with a sprinkling of
publishers. Mr. GRANT ALLEN was moved to the chair. The Chairman in
presenting the report of the Directors regretted that he was unable to
congratulate the Society on having accomplished the primary object of
its existence, the filling up of the vacant laureateship. He himself,
he said, had done his best. He had discovered a new sun in the
firmament of poetry at least once a month, and had never hesitated to
publish the name of his selection in one of the reviews. He was still
willing to take seven to four about Mr. JOHN DAVIDSON and Mr. FRANCIS
THOMPSON, Mr. WILLIAM WATSON barred. The balance-sheet of the Society
did not show a very flourishing state of affairs. As assets they could
enter fifteen sonnets, twelve irregularly rhymed odes (one by Mr.
RICHARD LE GALLIENNE), twenty-four volumes of a strictly limited
edition issued from the Bodley Head, four tons of the Yellow Book, and
an unpublished selection of manuscript poems written by a victim to
_delirium tremens_ whose name he was not at liberty to mention. On the
other side, however, they had to face the fact that their expenses had
been heavy. It was becoming more and more costly and difficult to
feed the public on geniuses, and he was inclined to advise the
discontinuance of this branch of the Society's operations.
At this point some commotion was caused by Mr. LE GALLIENNE and
Mr. ARTHUR WAUGH, who rose simultaneously to protest against the
Chairman's remarks. Mr. LE GALLIENNE was so far carried away by his
agitation as to hurl a pamphlet at Mr. GRANT ALLEN'S head. In the
uproar which ensued, Mr. LE GALLIENNE could be heard ejaculating
"beautiful phrases," "richly-coloured musical sentences," "ideal and
transcendental," "nothing finer since LAMB," "all for eighteenpence,"
and "a genius who sleeps below the wood-pigeons." The pamphlet thus
discharged proved to be by a Mr. JOHN EGLINTON, and Mr. LE GALLIENNE
was removed in the custody of a police-inspector, who was described by
Mr. WAUGH as a Philistine.
When calm had been restored, Mr. ALFRED AUSTIN asked where he came
in. He had never allowed a birth, a wedding, or a death in the upper
circles of Royalty to pass unsung; and though he had been a constant
subscriber to the Society it didn't seem to have done him any good.
Besides, he had discovered Ireland last year. Mr. LEWIS MORRIS and
Mr. ERIC MACKAY made similar complaints. The latter offered to write
patriotic poems with plenty of rhymes in them against any other living
man. Would the meeting allow him to recite----?
At this point the Chairman interposed, and said that the Directors had
decided against recitations--a statement which provoked loud murmurs
of dissatisfaction. Eventually, Mr. LE GALLIENNE (who had returned,
disguised in proof-sheets), proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. JOHN
DAVIDSON, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. GRANT ALLEN, who
proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. FRANCIS THOMPSON, who proposed a vote
of thanks to Mr. ARTHUR WAUGH, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr.
JOHN LANE, who proposed a vote of thanks to Mr. LE GALLIENNE. All
these having been unanimously passed, the meeting broke up.
* * * * *
QUEER QUERIES.--WAR OF WORDS.--_À propos_ of Mr. PLOWDEN'S decision in
the "Flannelette case," can that worthy magistrate have foreseen some
of its effects? For instance, wanting to buy a sideboard, I went to a
furniture-dealer's, and saw one, apparently made of the best mahogany,
which took my fancy greatly. I casually asked of what wood it
was composed and was astonished to have the answer given me,
"Mahoganette," by the shop-walker. So I walked out of the shop. When
I _want_ painted deal I can inquire for that article. Again, I have
noticed during the last few days a great falling-off in my butter
(though not in its price). On my remonstrating, the seller frankly
admitted that the article was "butterette," not butter. "What does
'ette' mean?" I asked him. He said it meant "little," adding, with a
wink, that I should find "precious little butter, too." And this was
the case. What _are_ we coming to?--INDIGNANT.
* * * * *
"OYSTER _BARS_."--The prohibitive price of natives and the typhoid
scare.
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[Illustration: ANIMAL SPIRITS.