GRIF IS SET UP IN LIFE AS A MORAL SHOEBLACK.
Grif, although but a poor and humble member of the human family, was
as gregariously inclined as the rest of his species, and loved, when
opportunity offered, to associate with his fellows. The circumstance
of birth had placed him upon the lowest rang of the social ladder,
and, being grovelling by nature, he had no thought of striving
upwards, and was always prowling about, like a hungry dog searching
for a bone. Being gregariously inclined, he was to be depended upon as
an item in a mob. The object of a gathering of people was not a thing
to be considered--politics, religion, amusement, were all one to him.
If he but chanced to come across a throng, he added one more to the
number, from sheer force of habit. Thus he was a passive auditor of
street preachers of every denomination, and being in the habit of
standing quite still, with his mouth open and his hands in his
pockets, or where his pockets ought to be, he grew to be looked upon
as a godsend by the orators, who spoke at him, and scoffed at him, and
humbled him, and hurled anathemas at his head, as representing a class
entirely devoid of godliness. They twisted his moral nature, and
picked at it, and pulled it to pieces, and grew eloquent upon it. They
said--Look at his rags, look at his dirt, look at the ignorance
written on his countenance. They told him to repent if he wished to be
saved from damnation; and they prayed for him and wept for him so
earnestly that sometimes he experienced a dull wonder that the earth
did not open and swallow him, he felt so utterly and thoroughly bad.
To the political orators who were in the habit of "stumping-it" in the
Market-square he was not of so much importance. "The People" in the
aggregate was what the stump politicians gnashed their teeth at and
wept over; and it was remarkable to observe with what complacency the
People listened to these bemoanings. At the period during which Grif
played his insignificant part in the history of the gold-colony,
working-men-politicians were in great force, and night after night the
Market-square would be thronged with an auditory not unwilling to be
amused by listening to the outpourings of half-crazy or wholly-knavish
demagogues, who had either gone mad over "the people's wrongs," or
were working to get into the parliament, where they could make
"pickings" for themselves. Many a red-hot radical who could not get an
audience in Great Britain, and who had emigrated to what he thought
was to be the "people's paradise" here was listened to, and laughed
at, and applauded, and--did no harm after all. Grif did not understand
what it all meant. He heard a great deal about the ground-down people,
the crushed people, the poor starving people, upon whose substance the
oligarchs were fattening; but all he could make out was that things
were wrong altogether, a conclusion which precisely tallied with his
own experience. But he, for one, bore his lot uncomplainingly, and
with an unconscious exercise of philosophy, walked in the gutters (not
feeling himself good enough to indulge in the pavement) without a
murmur. Grif did not object to gutters; he had formed their
acquaintance in his earliest infancy, and time and association had
almost endeared them to him. Everything in the world is comparative.
Pleasure, pain, success, disappointment, act in different ways upon
different people: the effect depends upon constitution and education.
So, dirt and cleanliness are differently regarded by different classes
of society. To a well-regulated mind the spectacle of Grif walking in
a narrow street, and picking his steps carefully along the gutter,
would have caused a sensation of wondering disgust; and a pair of
well-polished Wellington boots might naturally have objected to come
into contact with the dirty broken bluchers in which Grif's feet
slip-slopped constantly. But, in the eyes of Grif, dirty boots were no
disgrace; he felt not the shame of them. From the moment he came into
possession of a second-hand pair (he had never known the respectable
bliss of a new tight-fitting boot, pressing on corn or bunion), they
were dragged down to his own level, and forfeited their position in
society. They may have been occasionally scraped, but they were never
polished; and so they lost their respectability, and became depraved
and degraded, and their seams and soles were eaten into with mud and
dirt, until they gave up the ghost in the boot world, and trod the
earth no more.
It might be gathered from Grif's mutterings, as he walked along the
streets the day after he had given Alice the promise to be honest,
that his mind was disturbed. "She's right, o' course she is," he said,
"I know that well enough; but what was I to do? I know it'll be no go
my tryin'. He must be a precious green cove who'd have anythin' to do
with me!" and he looked down upon his boots, not with disgust, but
with distrust, and stepped out of the gutter on to the pavement. "I
never wanted to steal; I only wanted my grub and a blanket. If any
swell'd have given 'em to me, it'd have been all right. But they ain't
a bit of use to any one, ain't the swells. I've got to try to got a
billet as a errand boy. All right. It ain't a bit of good, I know.
Every one on 'em knows what sort of a cove I am. But I'll try, at all
events. I promised her I would, and I ain't agoin' to deceive her!"
And thus it fell out that Grif had issued from his last night's bed,
the packing-case, with the intention, for the first time in his life,
of endeavouring to obtain an honest livelihood.
But Grif did not seem destined to be successful. He walked into scores
of shops and places of business with the timid yet half defiant
inquiry, "Do you want a errand boy?" and was sometimes roughly, often
ignominiously, turned out. Scarcely from one of the storekeepers did
he obtain a kind word, and it was not in his favour that many of them
knew him, and had been in the habit of seeing him prowl about the
Melbourne streets. He was not a savoury-looking boy, and did not bear
upon his outward appearance any recommendation to the situation he was
soliciting. His boots were muddy, his clothes were ragged, his skin
was dirty, his hair was matted. He did not add another word to the
query, "Do you want a errand boy?" and he did not at all take it in
bad part that he was treated with contumely. Indeed, if such a state
of mind can be conceived, he was in a sort of measure exultant at each
rebuff. "I told her so," he muttered to himself, triumphantly; "who'd
have anything to do with a beggar like me? But I promised her I'd try,
and I ain't agoin' to deceive her." Two or three times he was surlily
spoken to by the policemen, and on each occasion he slunk off without
a murmur, not without a dim consciousness that he was absolutely
compromising his character by attempting to obtain an honest
livelihood. Readers who are not acquainted with colonial life, must
not suppose that the police, or that other "institutions," differ in
any essential in the colonies from those of the older countries. The
colonies are certainly new, but they do not commence their career at
the year One, but at the year Eighteen Hundred and Odd. There is just
about the same comparative amount of vice and virtue, goodness and
wickedness, ruffianism and kind-heartedness, as is to be met with in
any other part of the world. Those who say otherwise, and cause others
to think otherwise, are in the wrong. There are in the colonies, just
as much average unkindness and uncharitableness, just as much charity
and benevolence, just as much ignorance, just as noble-mindedness, as
can be found amongst of human creatures anywhere. It is true that men
get into false positions oftener than in older countries, but that is
scarcely to be wondered at in new colonies where people of all classes
are thrown indiscriminately together, and have not had time to settle
into their proper positions. Those readers will therefore please not
to wonder that Grif should be looked upon in precisely the some light
as he would be looked upon if he were prowling about London streets.
To the Melbourne constable, he was just what a ragged pilfering boy
would be to London constable. It did not much affect him. He was
accustomed to be buffeted, and cuffed, and maltreated. The world had
given him nothing but hard knocks since his birth, and he took them
without murmuring. He looked upon it quite as a matter of course when
the conservators of public peace spoke harshly to him. But he had a
promise to perform; and he resolved to perform it conscientiously. So
it happened that he stood at the door of the great place of business
of Mr. Zachariah Blemish, with the intention of asking for the
situation of an errand boy. The green baize folding doors somewhat
daunted him; but hesitating for one moment only, he pushed them open
and entered. It chanced that, exactly upon his entrance, Zachariah
Blemish came out of his own particular private room for the purpose of
putting a question to one of his clerks, and that the great Blemish
and the small Grif stood face to face. It was a marvellous contrast!
The great Blemish, sleek and shining; the small Grif, rough and muddy:
the great Blemish clean and polished, smooth-shaved and glossy; the
small Grif, dirty and ragged, with the incipient stubble of manhood
upon his chin and cheeks. For nature is impartial in her supply of
beard and whiskers. Money will not buy them, nor will grease produce
them, though it be puffed and perfumed.
The rich, great Blemish, then, looked down upon the poor little Grif.
For a moment, the great man's breath was taken away at the sight. In
his counting-house, sanctified by the visits of Members of Parliament,
of Ministers, and of merchants of the highest standing--in sight of
his books, wherein were daily entered records of transactions
amounting to thousands of pounds--the appearance of a ragged boy, and
such a ragged boy, was, to speak of it in the mildest terms, an
anomaly.
"What do you want here?" asked Blemish.
"Do you want a errand boy?" asked Grif, in return.
"A what?" inquired Blemish, sharply.
"A errand boy," replied Grif, calmly.
At this juncture, a policeman, who had watched Grif enter the office,
and who was sycophantishly disposed to protect the interests of wealth
and position, popped his head in at the door, and touching his hat,
begged Mr. Blemish's pardon, but the boy was a thief, and he thought
he was up to no good.
"Umph!" said Mr. Blemish. "He looks like it. But thank you,
policeman," this with a stately affability, "I do not think you will
be wanted."
Whereupon the policeman touched his hat again, and vanished,
determining, however, to keep an eye upon Grif, and find out what he
was up to.
"Come this way," said Mr. Blemish to Grif, who, considerably
astonished that he had not been given into custody, followed the great
man into his private room. There he found himself in the presence of
two other gentlemen, Mr. Matthew Nuttall, and Mr. David Dibbs. Mr.
Nuttall was sitting at a table, writing, and his face was hidden from
Grif. "Now, then," said Mr. Blemish, when Grif had disposed himself
before the great merchant like a criminal; "what do you mean by coming
into my place of business?"
"I wants a sitiwation as a errand boy," immediately replied Grif.
"The policeman says you are a thief," interrogated Mr. Blemish; "what
do you say to that?"
"Nothin'," replied Grif, shortly.
"You _are_ a thief, then?"
"No, I ain't," said Grif: "I'm honest, now," and he blushed with shame
as he made the confession.
"Oh, you are honest now," Mr. Blemish observed, with a slight dash of
sarcasm. "Since when has that occurred?"
"Since this mornin'; this is my first day at it."
Grif's candid statement appeared to perplex the great merchant. He
paused a little before he said,--
"You _were_ a thief, then?"
"When I couldn't get nothin' to eat for nothin', I took it," returned
Grif, uncompromisingly; "I wasn't a-goin' to starve."
"Starve!" exclaimed Mr. Blemish, lifting up his hands in pious
wonderment. "Starve! In this land of plenty!"
"It ain't a land of plenty to me; I wish it was."
"Really," observed Mr. Blemish, to surrounding space, "the unblushing
manner in which such ragamuffins as this give the lie to political
economists is positively frightful. Do you believe in statistics,
boy?"
"Not as I knows on," said Grif.
"Did you expect a situation here?" inquired Mr. Blemish, looking down
upon the lad, as if wondering what business he had in the world.
"No."
"Why did you come, then?"
"I promised her to try, though I told her it wasn't a bit o' good."
"Who is 'her'?" inquired Mr. Matthew Nuttall, turning suddenly round,
and facing Grif.
Grif gave a great start, and threw a sudden sharp look at the
questioner's face. He knew him at once. The likeness was
unmistakeable. Even in his deep voice there was a ring of Alice's
sweeter tones. If anything could have shaken Grif, it was the sight of
that stern face, and the knowledge that the man before him could make
Alice happy if he chose. Eager words rushed to Grif's lips, but he
dared not give them utterance. What good could a ragamuffin like him
do? He had best hold his tongue, or he would make matters worse.
"Who is 'her'?" repeated the gentleman.
"She's a lady, that's what she is," replied Grif, recovering his
composure.
"A lady!" and Mr. Nuttall laughed.
"Ah, if you knew!" thought Grif, but he contented himself with saying,
"Yes, she is, and so you'd say if you sor her."
"Upon my word," remarked Mr. Blemish, blandly, "I did not know that
vagabonds like you associated with ladies. This boy is evidently an
original."
"Don't you call no names," said Grif. "If you don't want a errand boy,
say so, and send me away."
"Better and better," observed Mr. Blemish, composedly. "Now, this is
something in my way, although I am not aware that I have met with such
a character before to-day. Why did you start when this gentleman spoke
to you?"
"I thort I knew his voice," returned Grif.
"And do you know it? Have you had the pleasure of this gentleman's
acquaintance?" this said so pleasantly that both the gentlemen smiled.
"Never seed the gentleman afore, as I knows on," said Grif, to whom a
lie was of the very smallest consequence.
"What do you do for a living?" asked Mr. Blemish.
"Nothin' partikeler."
"And you find it very hard work, I have no doubt," observed Mr.
Blemish.
"Yes, I do; very hard," replied Grif, literally; and then, with sudden
exasperation, he exclaimed, "What's the use of badgerin' me? You ain't
agoin' to do nothin' for me. Why don't you let me go?"
"Come," said Mr. David Dibbs, who up to this time had taken no part in
the dialogue, "I tell you what it is, young feller! You keep a civil
tongue in your head, or I'll commit you on the spot. I'm a magistrate,
that's what I am, and I'll give you a month, as sure as eggs is eggs,
if you don't mind what you're up to!"
"I don't care," responded Grif. "I ain't a-goin' to be badgered."
"You don't care!" exclaimed Mr. David Dibbs, turning as red as a
turkey-cock. "Send for the policeman, Blemish. I'll have him put in
jail, and flogged. Is a magistrate to be sauced at in this here way?"
The small puffed-up soul of Mr. David Dibbs swelled with indignation.
Things were come to a pretty pass, indeed, when the possessor of
thirty thousand pounds a year, and a magistrate into the bargain, was
thus openly defied by a ragged boy, probably without sixpence in his
pockets! They glared at each other, did Grif and Mr. David Dibbs, and
Mr. Dibbs did not have much the best of the situation.
"Nay, nay, Mr. Dibbs," said Mr. Blemish, soothingly; "you have every
right to be angry, but let me deal with the boy, I beg.--Now,
suppose," he said, addressing Grif, impressively, "suppose I were to
take it into my head (I haven't any such idea, mind you) to give you a
situation as errand boy, what remuneration would you require in
return?"
"What what?"
"What remuneration--what salary--how much a week would you expect?"
"I don't expect nothin' a week," answered Grif; "I only wants my grub
and a blanket. But if you ain't got no such idea, what's the good of
keeping me here?"
"Of course you know nothing of religion?"
"I've been preached to," responded Grif, "till I'm sick of it."
"This boy interests me," remarked Mr. Blemish, speaking to society in
general; "I should like to make an experiment with him. Who knows but
that we might save his soul?"
"You can't do that," said Grif, moodily.
"Can't save your soul!"
"No; the preacher chap sed it'd go to morchel perdition; and I s'pose
he knows."
Mr. Blemish raised his eyes to the ceiling, and an expression of
sublime pity stole over his countenance. Grif edged closer to the
door, as if anxious to be dismissed.
Mr. Blemish folded his hands with a sort of pious horror, and
exclaimed--"I am amazed!"
"What are you amazed at?" inquired Mr. David Dibbs. "I've seen
hundreds of boys like this here one--he ain't no different to the
rest. They're a bad, vicious lot."
Grif assented to the last remark by a nod.
"But our duty is clear," said Mr. Blemish, as if in answer to a voice
within him, perhaps the voice of morality. "Listen to me"--this to
Grif, with a forefinger warningly held up; "I am about to give you a
chance of reforming."
"All right; I'm agreeable," said Grif, in a tone that betokened utter
indifference of the matter.
"In my capacity as President of the Moral Boot Blacking Boys'
Reformatory, I will provide you with a boot-stand, a set of brushes,
and a pot of the best blacking. You can polish boots?"
"I've only got to rub at 'em, I s'pose," said Grif, wishing his own
feet, with their dirty bluchers, would fly off his legs.
Mr. Blemish waived the question as one of detail, which it was
evidently beneath him to enter upon.
"You can take up your stand at once. What do you say? Are you willing
to be honest?"
"Didn't I tell you that this is my first day at it," replied Grif.
"I'm willin' enough; I only wants my grub and a blanket. It don't
matter to me how I gets 'em, so long as I do get 'em."
"Very well," and Mr. Blemish touched the bell, which on the instant
brought a clerk, to whom he gave instructions. "Go with this young
man, and he will provide you with everything that is necessary, and
come to-night to the meeting of the Moral Boot Blacking Boys'
Reformatory. Do you know why it is called the Moral Boot Blacking
Boys' Reformatory?"
"No."
"Because all the boys are moral. If they are not moral when they are
admitted, they are made moral. So mind that you're moral. The more
moral you are, the better you will get on."
"I'll be very moral, I will," promised Grif, without the slightest
idea of the meaning of his promise.
"Now you can go; I shall keep my eye on you, and watch how you conduct
yourself;" and Mr. Blemish straightened himself, and swelled and
puffed, as who should say, "I have done a noble and a moral action,
and now I can transact my business with an easy conscience."
Grif, finding himself set up in life as a moral shoeblack, felt
uncomfortably strange as he stood behind his stand in one of the
Melbourne streets. He had been provided with a boot-stand, a set of
brushes, and a pot of the best blacking; and as he surveyed his stock
in trade, he was not quite certain whether he ought to be gratified or
disgusted. He was so awkward altogether; and he did not know what
to do with his hands. He placed them behind him--that was not
business-like; he let them hang before him, and he became so painfully
conscious of them, that he absolutely began to hate them. Never until
now had he experienced what a dreadful responsibility it was to have
two hands and not know what to do with them.
For an hour no customer came. Thinking that the state of his own boots
was not a recommendation to business, he set to work brushing and
polishing them up. It is amazing what a difference a well-polished
pair of boots makes in one's appearance. As he surveyed his shining
leathers, Grif felt that an important change had taken place in his
prospects. He was already a respectable member of society. But still
no customer came. He was a shrewd lad, and, thinking to tempt the
passers-by, he took off his boots, and placing them upon his stand,
courted custom with bare feet. In vain. Most of those who passed took
no heed of him; a few looked at him and smiled--some in pity, some in
derision. It was like standing in the pillory. He turned hot and cold,
and flushed and paled, by turns. In truth, it was no enviable task for
Grif, who had been a Bedouin of the byeways all his life, to stand
stock-still, as if proclaiming that he was ashamed of his past life,
and begged to be admitted into the ranks of honest respectability.
Besides, he was hungry, and gnawing sensations within made him
restless and unhappy. But Grif behaved bravely. He did not flinch from
his post. For hours he stood, patiently waiting. And then an incident
occurred. Two men, Jim Pizey and the Tenderhearted Oysterman, stopped
before him. The sight of the Oysterman so inflamed Grif, that he felt
inclined to do one of two things--to catch up his boots and fly away,
or to spring upon the Oysterman and choke him for murdering Rough. But
he did neither.
"Here's the young imp," I said Jim Pizey; "he's turned respectable,"
Grif's first impulse was to indignantly deny the imputation, but no
time for utterance was given him. "Have you seen Dick Handfield
to-day?" asked Pizey.
"No," answered Grif, shortly.
"Where have they gone to, him and his wife?" asked Jim. "Tell me any
lies, and I'll break your neck for you. Here, clean my boots." Jim
bade him do this, for he was fearful of attracting attention.
Grif would have liked to refuse; but he felt that to do so would be a
clear infraction of his promise to Alice.
"How should I know where they are?" exclaimed Grif, brushing at Jim's
boots.
"You were there last night, and they were there last night. You and
the girl have been together lot a of times, and you know well enough
where they're gone to. You're a pet of hers, I'm told."
"She's been very good to me, Ally has," said Grif, gently. "And
because o' that, you don't think I'd let on where they are, do you?
You don't think I'd let on, if I know, do you? No, I'd have my tongue
cut out first."
"I'll tear it out and pitch it down your throat, if you talk to us
like that," said the Oysterman, fiercely.
"Will you?" said Grif, standing up. "Or you'll pizen me, the same as
you pizened my dawg! You'd like to, wouldn't you? And because o' that,
if I didn't have no other reason, I wouldn't tell you where Dick
Handfield is, if I knew where you could put your hands on him this
minute. There!"
"You won't tell us?" asked Jim.
"No," answered Grif, bravely.
Jim looked darkly at him, and giving the stand a kick, sent the
blacking-bottle, the brushes, and Grif's boots, rolling in the gutter;
and, while Grif was busy picking them up, he took his companion's arm,
and walked away.
This was not an encouraging beginning to Grif's honest career, and
dark doubts entered his mind as to whether he really had made a change
for the better.
"What's the use of bein' moral," he grumbled, as he rearranged his
stand, "if this is the way I'm to be served? They've soon found out
that Dick Handfield's gone; and ain't they mad at it, neither! It's a
good job he went away to-day. Old Flick will be mad, too, at buyin'
the bad note. It's a reg'lar game, that's what it is. I'm precious
hungry. I wish I was near the confectioner's. I'd go and arks for a
pie. But I'll see it out. I promised Ally I would, and I will. Hallo!
what do _you_ want?"
This was addressed to a boy, if possible dirtier and more ragged than
Grif himself. Indeed, dirt and this boy had become so inseparable that
he was known by the simple but expressive name of Dirty Bob. Now,
Dirty Bob had seen Grif take up his stand, and had disdainfully
watched him wait for customers. In Dirty Bob's eyes Grif was a
renegade, a sneak, for setting up as a shoeblack. And he determined to
show his disdain in his own particular way. He possessed only one
sixpence in the world, and he resolved to spend it luxuriously.
"Oh, it's you, Dirty Bob, is it?" said Grif.
"Yes, it's me," responded Dirty Bob, loftily.
"What do you want?" asked Grif.
"What do I want?" echoed Dirty Bob. "Why, you're a bootblack, ain't
you?"
"Yes," replied Grif, with dignity. "I'm a moral shoeblack now."
"Ho! crikey!" exclaimed Dirty Bob. "What do you call yourself?"
"I'm a moral shoeblack," repeated Grif, with an inclination to punch
Dirty Bob's head.
"'Ere's a go!" cried Dirty Bob. "A moral shoeblack, are you? Well,
then, clean my boots, and mind you clean 'em morally;" and he flopped
upon the stand a foot encased in a boot in the very last stage of
decay.
In Grif's eyes this was a humiliation, and he almost quite made up his
mind to pitch into Dirty Bob; but the thought that by so doing he
might injure his character as a moral shoeblack, restrained him.
"Now, then," exclaimed Dirty Bob, "what are you waiting for? Clean my
boots, d'ye hear! What are you block in' up the street for if you
won't clean a genelman's boots when you're told?"
"Where's your tanner?" asked Grif, gloomily.
"'Ere it is," replied Dirty Bob, producing it. "It's a good un. It's
the only one I've got, but I'm goin' to spend it 'spectably and
genteelly. Brush away."
After a little uncomfortable communing, Grif spat upon his brush, and
commenced to rub, submitting silently to the scornful observations of
Dirty Bob.
"I say, sir," observed Dirty Bob (and be it remarked that the "sir"
was a nettle which stung Grif sharply); "I say, sir, do you want a
'prentice?"
"I don't want none of your cheek," said Grif, rubbing so smartly that
he almost rubbed off the upper leather; "that's what I don't want. So
you'd better hold your jaw."
"I beg your pardon, sir," said Dirty Bob, meekly; "I forgot that I was
speakin' to one of the Hupper Class. And ho! sir!" he exclaimed, in a
tone of anguish, "don't tell the perlice, or they'd put me in quod for
cheekin' a moral shoeblack."
"There; your boots are done!" ejaculated the disgusted Grif. "Where's
the tanner?"
"Don't you think, sir," said Dirty Bob, surveying his boots
critically, "that one on 'em is a little more polished than t'other?
Would you please make 'em even, and give this cove another rub?"
Grif commenced again rubbing viciously.
"Ho! don't rub so 'ard, sir," exclaimed Dirty Bob.
"I was brought up very tender, I was, and I've got a wopping corn on
my big toe. Thankey, sir! 'Ere's the tanner; and when you're Lord
Mayor, don't forget Dirty Bob!"
And he walked off, whistling. It was late in the day now, so Grif
prepared to close business. His heart was not very light, for the
first sixpence he had honestly earned in his life had been earned with
a sense of bitter humiliation.