Upon the receipt of this letter I went to Sweden; but could hear no
tidings of those I pursued. I became quite melancholy, and seldom went
abroad, but could not refuse being introduced by the Baron de R---- to
the Queen Dowager, who is an exalted character: she is sister to the
reigning King of Prussia, is the avowed protectress of letters, and
encourager of merit: and during her husband's life possessed an almost
unlimited influence over affairs of state; but at present leads a more
retired and secluded life. She is perfect mistress of Latin, as well
as the modern languages.
The present King of Sweden at the age of twenty-six changed the
form of government, without blood or difficulty. Sweden can boast
of her two Gustavus's, the first and second; nor are her Christina,
or her Charles, unknown to fame. In what country is not the name of
Peter celebrated, the greatest legislator that modern times have seen?
Hearing no tidings of the duke's family, I made out my northern tour.
In Denmark the sun of genius has not yet blazed from a throne, and
shed a temporary lustre on the surrounding darkness; if we except
the celebrated Margaret de Waldemar, to whom history has given the
epithet of the _Semiramis_ of the north, who united under her reign
all the kingdoms beneath the polar sky, Denmark, Norway, and Sweden.
There are, however, two favourite monarchs of Danish story. The first
of these was Christian IV, who was the opponent and competitor of
Gustavus Adolphus, but with far inferior fame. The last was Frederic
IV. This prince loved the arts, and made two visits to Italy, one
previous to his ascending the throne, and one after it. During a
carnival at Venice, he resided in that city, and in one evening is
said to have won, at the card-table, a bank worth one hundred thousand
pounds sterling, which he immediately presented to a noble Venetian
lady, in whose house this happened, and whose whole fortunes were
involved in this game of chance: All the company were in masque.
I cannot omit mentioning the literary merit of the ladies in
Denmark; which has already been taken notice of by Lord Molesworth,
who says, that Tycho Brahe's sister, and especially Dorothea
Engelerechtie, may contend with the famous poetesses of the ancients.
The lady Brigetta Tot has translated Seneca the philosopher into the
Danish tongue, with all the elegance any language is capable of, and
has conspired with our ingenious countrywoman Miss Carter[27], to
shew that the most rugged philosophy of the stoics must submit, when
the fair-sex is pleased to conquer. But I forget who I am writing
to--Thanks to your extensive reading--I have nothing to tell you that
has been written and published before. I shall only observe, that I
met with many ingenious men abroad who held the English cheap. I can
account for this in no other way, than that they form their judgment
of us only by the _philosophical transactions_. Absorbed in deep
melancholy, on account of my ignorance of the fate of Countess de
Sons, I went little into company, but applied myself constantly to
study: I amused myself in painting; the cataract of the river Dahl
is the subject of one of my pieces. The tremendous roar of these
cataracts, which, when close, is superior to the loudest thunder; the
vapours which rise incessantly from them, and even obscure them from
the eye in many parts; the agitation of the river below for several
hundred yards before it resumes its former tranquillity; and the
sides covered with tall firs; form one of the most picturesque and
astonishing scenes to be beheld in nature's volume.
Wrapt up one day in the contemplation of this scene, Lord Ogilby
whom I became acquainted with at Upsal, approached me under an
apparent agitation of spirits. We lived much together, but I had
observed him very absent, and missed him several evenings. My Lord,
said he, near this place resides all that my soul holds dear: I am
in love--in love, to a degree I never felt till now. I am myself
astonished at it. But blame me not until you see the object of my
affections. He said, that he had been charmed with a young woman's
figure and beauty, and that she appeared to be possessed of the
greatest modesty, prudence, and good humour. He finished his
panegyric with saying, _how happy will that man be who first inspires
her gentle heart with love_!
I accompanied Lord Ogilby (who remained silent) for about a hundred
yards, when we approached a cottage.
A window being opened, he said to me, There, my Lord, you can see
her without being observed. I looked, and beheld a most exquisite
Beauty. She was of a fair complexion, had fine full blue languishing
eyes, which sparked through the long lashes of their beautiful lids,
and expressed, with the most innocent simplicity, all that an insipid
coquet attempts in vain. When she perceived we looked at her, it
heightened the vermilion on her cheeks, through the consciousness that
they betrayed the extreme sensibility of her heart; and if even the
rest of her person had not been equally engaging, yet the bewitching
sweetness of her countenance alone would have intitled her to be
ranked among the first class of pleasing Beauties.--A beautiful boy
of about two years of age, whose hair flowed in natural ringlets like
her own, was playing beside her while she was making some artificial
flowers. Her dress was a brown camblet jacket and petticoat clasped at
the breast.
Upon perceiving us she arose, and received us with the greatest
politeness--It was easy for us to conceive she had been accustomed
to genteel life. She acquainted us that whatever honor we might do
her in condescending to come into that poor cottage, yet she must for
the future desire we would not repeat our visit. As it was entirely
contrary to her plans, and to those views which determined her to
retire to that place. There appeared in her a timid bashfulness;
but as this seemed to proceed from the fear of _my friend_, who had
been importunate lover, and was a proof of the purity of her heart
instead of an awkwardness, it appeared a grace. Yes, I repeat it,
this bashfulness appeared in her quite engaging; for as the shade in
a beautiful picture, it served to set off the masterly strokes of the
piece. Lord Ogilby assured her in my hearing, that he had no views but
which were highly honourable, that if she would give him her hand he
would make her his wife. "I am one of those, said he, who have ever
despised the common prejudices of mankind, particularly in the affair
of love. A fine person, a graceful carriage, an amiable disposition,
are all the titles or wealth I should look for in a woman. You
possess all these advantages, and to them add the greatest delicacy
of sentiment--so many charms compensate for the want of those other
qualifications the injustice of fortune has deprived you of."--"Hymen,
my lord, answered she, can have no joys for me, and I am sure will
never light his torch on my account; for I have fountains of tears
which would soon extinguish it!" What was my surprise to discover
this beautiful girl (for her age did not appear to exceed eighteen)
so accomplished, that she could read the Iliad of Homer, the Georgics
of Virgil, the inimitable Cervantes, and the plays of Terence, in the
original languages, with great ease! She was a _Hebe_, with the head
of a philosopher, the knowledge of a divine, accompanied with all the
exterior accomplishments the most finished education could bestow.
As we found her fond of reading, we carried her a book of periodical
papers then just written at Vienna. The next time I saw her I inquired
if she approved of it--she replied she was no judge; but that she
apprehended humour in writing chiefly consists in an imitation of the
foibles or absurdities of mankind; so our pleasure in this species of
composition, arises from comparing the picture with the original in
nature, which she had no opportunity of doing.
In the works of our own countrymen we have frequent opportunities
of making this comparison, as the originals are generally before us:
But when we read the productions of foreigners, as their portraits are
copied from manners with which we are not sufficiently acquainted,
they must often appear forced and unnatural. There is a cast of
humour, as well as of manners, peculiar to each country; and this
is what makes every nation give the preference to its own humorous
subjects. Nor is this preference ill founded, since the several
drawings are made from originals widely different from each other; and
as in portrait-painting, the value of the picture is enhanced by our
connections with the person who sat for it; so here we must approve
those pieces the originals of which we are best acquainted with. The
language of humour is also in every country different from that used
upon common occasions, which makes foreign satire an exotic of too
delicate a nature to bear transplanting.
I was not surprised at my friend's situation; nothing I _then_
supposed could have secured my own heart from her attractions but its
being pre-engaged. All the great heroes, the scripture worthies in
particular, have had their _Delilah's_, to whose bewitching charms
they have _one and all yielded_; reluctantly some, and fondly others;
_these_ proving their wisdom, and _those_ their folly; since _there is
no enchantment against beauty_, nor any thing it cannot enchant.
But notwithstanding my predilection in her favor, prudence suggested
to me that my friend's passion might hurry him into an improper
connection. I therefore inquired particularly concerning this lovely
woman. I found she had resided there fifteen months, having brought
with her a maid, and the child whom we had seen: that soon after her
arrival she had disposed of some valuable effects; and that she had
employed herself since that period in making artificial flowers, which
her maid carried to--and disposed of them: that it was with great
pleasure they observed she was now much more cheerful than she had
been at first. That she was very regular in her conduct; never saw any
person, nor went abroad but for divine service or a little air and
exercise. This account served only to increase my friend's passion. He
left nothing unsaid, nothing undone, to convince her of his sincerity;
but she remained inexorable! We were there one day; when I took the
liberty of remonstrating with her on this subject: She was affected,
and said, "My lord, you distress me greatly; but at once to relieve
myself _from your_ friend's importunities, and to prove _to you_ how
unavailable _his_ pursuit _is_, I must be reduced to the humiliating
detail of _my sorrows_: then, pointing to the lovely boy, she added,
that cherub calls me _mother_, although his cruel father has not given
me the name _of wife_: let this, my lord, render you unsolicitous
concerning me."
Lord Ogilby, though struck at the intelligence, assured her, that
she was infinitely superior in his eyes to women of the world, who
vainly flatter themselves, that, while they appear _not_ to be
conscious of their errors, mankind never discover _their follies_!
that he respected her candour, he would be a father to her lovely
boy, and, by his tender faithful attachment, atone for her former
disappointment. She said every thing a sensible heart could feel on
the sense she had of the honor he did in addressing her on such
honorable terms, in the strange situation he found her in; but added,
her heart might break, but that in breaking it must be the entire
property of Sir Harry Bingley!
I am very sensible, my lords, continued Miss Harris, that the
foibles of those to whom we are indebted for our existence, though
open to the attack of all the world beside, ought to be sacred to us.
But it is incumbent on me to paint my father's character, in order to
inform you of the origin of my misfortunes. He was the younger son of
a family of distinction, had received every advantage of education,
and had travelled all over the world; which he himself said had
divested him of many narrow prejudices! But this was not sufficient
for him--he must triumph over reason and nature. He was too wise to
adopt the opinions of his fore-fathers, yet at the same time too
indolent to establish any of his own; and as he lived without system,
he made present convenience the rule of his conduct. His virtues
consequently were _accidental_--but his vices _habitual_. A clergyman
that kept him company countenanced _his errors_, and confirmed _my
belief_, that religious duties were only an _imposition on the
vulgar_. I am sure, my lord, you must agree with me in thinking that
_immorality_ in a _clergyman_ is as unpardonable as _cowardice_ in
a _soldier_. _One_ flies from the foes of his _king_ and _country_;
the _other_ justifies the _enemies of his God_. My father married
a young lady of large fortune. She had received a very religious
education, and had too much sensibility not to be exceedingly wounded
at his infidelity. He told her it was very well she thought as _she
did_--that all capacities cannot command a sufficient degree of
attention to pursue the intricacies of philosophical speculation;
neither if they could, are they endowed with proper powers of
perception to discern and judge for themselves. As these must
necessarily be governed by prejudices, if you remove them, you leave
such weak objects without any principle _whatever_.
My mother answered, that the apostles were no _meta-physicians_: nor
did their blessed master teach them any thing that should make them
so. Wherefore she contented herself with their plain instructions,
finding much more satisfaction from them than she did from any human
writers, especially those who use so many and so nice distinctions,
tending more to _puzzle_ than _enlighten_ the understanding, and
having little effect upon the heart to make it better. It is to me, I
own, (said she) no recommendation of any cause, that the abettors of
it are obliged to have recourse to _abstruse terms_, and especially
when they introduce such terms into any system that pretends to be
Christian. I admire no scholastic phrases, or terms of art, when
applied to a doctrine which is matter of revelation only; and wherein
neither schools nor arts have any thing to say further, nor can say
any thing more clearly or more certainly than what God hath said. I
am far from commending any imposition upon men's judgment, or any
dictating by one man what is to be believed by another! But here my
father interrupted her; and, in a passion, made use of terms delicacy
prevents a repetition of--adding, neither _man_ nor _woman_ should
dictate or make a fool of him! That religion, etc. etc. varied in
different countries, as he had often observed something in the
climate, soil, or situation of _each_, which had great influence in
establishing its particular mode of superstition. Thus in Syria they
worship the sun, moon, and stars, as they live in a flat country,
enjoying a constant serenity of sky; and the origin and progress of
that error may be traced in a certain connection between those objects
of worship considered physically, and their characters as divinities.
Thus the pomp and magnificence with which the sun is worshipped
in Syria, said he, and the human victims sacrificed to him, seem
altogether to mark an awful reverence, paid rather to his power than
to his beneficence, in a country where the violence of his heat is
destructive to vegetation, as it is in many other respects very
troublesome to the inhabitants. Superstition, since the world began,
has consisted of every particular, which either people's _fears_ or
their _follies_, either the _strength_ of their _imagination_, or
the _weakness_ of their _judgment_, or the _design_ and _artifice_
of their _leaders_, taught them to _embrace_, in order to please any
being, or order of beings, superior to themselves, whom they made
the objects of their religious regards. My mother answered, that the
unbeliever changes nothing of the design of God, when he dares to
rise up against him--He ever enters into his plan, where the evil
concurs with the good, for the harmony of _this_ world, and the good
of the _next_. I need not, my lords, tire you with an account of
these particulars, further than to mark the difference of my parents
characters--these arguments recurring often, in the end produced such
contentions, that it impaired my mother's health--she died, and left
me under the guidance of a father, _totally unfit_ for that _important
trust_ He endeavoured to impress me with his sentiments of religion,
etc. If I imbibed his ideas, could I be blamed for it? Is it not
injurious and ridiculous to censure others for thinking in the same
manner we ourselves should have done under the same circumstances?
For if we do not consult our reason (which in matters of religion
is prohibited us) the capacity and credulity of individuals are
different, in consequence of their diversity of temperament,
education, and experience. And it would be still more absurd to
reprobate the rest of mankind, for not believing what we ourselves
do _not_, nor can be made _to believe_. But to return to my father:
About a year after my mother's death, when I was only eight years old,
he set out for Italy, and returned home inebriated with a love for
antiquity--He could sit all day in contemplation of a statue without a
nose, and doated on the decays with greater love than the self-loved
Narcissus did on his beauty. Sir Harry Bingley did me the honor to
address me; but my father, on his first proposal, would not hear of
it; he wished me to marry a brother antiquarian, who was desirous,
among other pieces of age and time, to have one young face be seen to
call him father. My lover told him, he would pray to Heaven to have
merit or deserve me--He returned, "When your prayer is answered, renew
your suit; but if you stay till then, you must have spectacles to see
her beauty with." Had Sir Harry appeared to him like a Sibyl's son,
or with a face rugged as father Nilus is pictured on the hangings, it
would have been otherwise. But the qualities, which recommended him
_to me_, produced the contrary effect on _my father_.
Signor Crustino, whom he favored, had presented him with books,
that he said were written before the Punic war; and some of Terence's
hundred and fifty comedies that were lost in the Adriatic sea, when
he returned from banishment.--There were powerful inducements--He
commanded me to marry him: I expostulated, but without effect. Had
Sir Harry Bingley been old in any thing, even in iniquity, I believe
he would have shown him some respect. Had he not, said he, the
indiscretion to betray weakness, even to myself? did not he mention
that his _old_ rents produced one thousand a year; but that he had
made _new_ leases, and doubled them; and by the sale of a gallery of
pictures had paid his father's debts? O such preposterous folly! he
values more his gold, than whatever Apelles or Phidias have invented!
"What is more honorable than age?" said he: "Is not wisdom entailed
on it? It takes the pre-eminence in everything: antiquities are the
registers, the chronicles of the age, and speak the truth of history
better than a hundred of your printed commentaries!" It was in vain
I pleaded a contrary opinion; my tears had no power to mollify his
stony heart. I was ordered to prepare for my wedding; which I was
determined, at all events, should not take place. In the mean time
Sir Harry Bingley's passion was increased by the difficulty of
obtaining me, as the lovers of the fair Danäe desired her more when
she was locked up in the brazen tower. He was importunate with me to
elope: inclination pressed hard on one side, duty on the other; I was
torn with contending passions: my distraction was increased by the
preparations for the marriage feast. My father took his bill of fare
out of Athenæus, and ordered the most surprizing dishes imaginable.
But I was reprieved by a most extraordinary accident--He was possessed
of a couple of old manuscripts, said to have been found in a wall, and
stored up with the foundation: he supposed them the writing of some
prophetess--They were, he said, of the old Roman binding: And though
the characters were so imperfect, that time had eaten out the letters,
and the dust made a parenthesis betwixt every syllable, yet he was
inconsolable upon discovering he had lost them; and suspected his
brother antiquary of the theft, _such_ generally being very _adroit_
on _pilfering_--Words arose on the subject; they parted in wrath;
my father declaring the marriage should not be celebrated. Signor
Crustino next day wrote a mollifying letter, intreating his acceptance
of several other manuscripts, which he said were dug out of the ruins
of Aquileia, after it was sacked by Attila, King of the Hunns.--But
he returned them with indignation, and took to his bed, where he
remained nine months in a very lingering condition--then died--leaving
me a prey to the oppressive insolence of proud prosperity.--It is that
only which can inflict a wound on the ingenuous mind.--These are the
stings of poverty! Misfortunes never create respect: dependence of
course meets with many slights--On such occasions, some show their
_malice_, and are witty on our _misfortunes_; others their judgment,
by sage reflections on our conduct; but few their charity.--They
alone have a right to censure, who have hearts to assist: the rest is
cruelty, not justice[28].
I found that my father's collection of curiosities, for which he
had expended all his fortune, did no more than pay his debts. On this
occasion all my acquaintances forsook me. A rich aunt was the only
person who recollected such a being existed (my lover excepted).
She afforded me help, but more as if she had been giving _alms_ to
a _stranger_, than _relief_ to a relation. How few are acquainted
with the art of conferring favors in that happy manner that doubles
the value of the obligation! If in doing good, people consulted the
circumstances and inclinations of those they oblige--if, instead of
shocking their self-love, (inherent in us all) they knew how to take
advantage of it, with as much address as the flatterer employs to
gain his ends, the empire of morality would long ago have extended
its bounds, and the numbers of its adherents would have greatly
increased.--This is the more easily done, as the _distressed_ think
any mark of attention shown them by the _wealthy_, _a real favor_--But
_neglect_ in general is the _portion_ of the _necessitous_--and
_outrage alone_ employed to recover _the guilty_.
Lord Ogilby could not help here, with some warmth, asking where Sir
Harry Bingley was all this time. Miss Harris bowed, and resumed her
story. "Alas!" said she, "the Marquis of M---- his uncle, on whom he
had considerable expectations, insisted on his marrying Lady Ann
Frivolité--and though he absolutely declined this overture, he thought
in prudence, he ought to defer for some time entering into another
engagement until he could bring his uncle to hearken to it."
My necessities increasing, relying entirely on the honor of my
lover, I permitted him to conduct me to a seat he had in a remote
part of the country--It was a frightful dismal house surrounded with
yews and willows, whose different forms recalled to my ideas Ovid's
Metamorphoses, and made me sometimes ready to bemoan the fate of
unhappy lovers converted into evergreens by the supposed enchantress
of this dreary mansion. The house had been long uninhabited: by the
blackness of the walls, the circular fires, vast cauldrons, yawning
mouths of ovens and furnaces, one would conclude, it was either the
forge of Vulcan, the cave of Polypheme, or the temple of Moloch. The
hangings of the apartments were indeed the finest in the world; that
is to say, which Arachne spins from her own bowels. But the affection,
the tender respectful behaviour of my lover was _everything to me_.
He said he made no doubt but the marquis, when convinced of my merit,
would approve of his passion! Unwilling to see him continue in so
delusive an error, I told him there was little probability of reviving
the golden age in his family; or, hoping that the benevolence of his
own heart would become epidemical, was an illusion! that relations or
parents saw things in a very different light from their children; as
the sentiment of the former arose from cool reflection, and as those
of the latter commonly resulted from the caprice of an irregular
imagination, or the violence of an impetuous passion, which prompted
them to act sometimes in direct opposition to the salutary advice
of their best friends.--He replied, that granting that were even
the case--the Marquis of M---- could not live for ever--but that no
power on earth could induce him to sacrifice his happiness; that he
had a _competent_, though not _great_ estate of his own--and would
marry me directly, if I chose it, or would take the most solemn oath
imaginable, to do it as soon as circumstances rendered it prudent
with safety. I consequently rejected agreeing to his proposal: I
could not bear the idea of my lover's running the risk of losing a
family inheritance on my account; though a possibility of possession
altering his sentiments, never entered into my imagination. We
remained three months together, the happiest time of my life: Happy
moments, how soon you fled, never, never to return!
Miss Harris here blushed and stopped; we encouraged her to proceed.
With some hesitation, she added, At that time my lover's importunity
prevailed; I resigned myself to his wishes. I had his solemn promise
he would ratify our engagement at the altar; and my father had
instilled notions into me of marriage being only a civil institution:
he had often said, that the marriages among the Israelites were not
attended with any religious ceremonies, except the prayers of the
father of the family, and the standers by, to beg the blessing of God.
We have examples of it in the marriage of Rebecca with Isaac, of Ruth
with Boaz. We do not read that God acted the part of a priest to join
Adam and Eve together, only that of a father to the young woman, in
giving her away--_For he brought her to the man_: We do not see, he
used to say, that there were any sacrifices offered upon the occasion;
that they went to the temple, or sent to the priests. So that it was
no more than a civil contract. I also knew the present custom in
Sicily and in Holland. Thus I justified myself _to myself_, though
not effectually; but I was willing then _to believe_ what I _wished_;
as no inconvenience _to myself_ could equally affect me in its
consequences, as my lover losing his fortune on _my account_, which
made me decline marrying him at that time. And I firmly relied on his
honor, whom from that time I considered, and shall do, as my husband.
With this difference--if a woman survives her husband, after some
time set apart for decency, there are many circumstances may combine
to render a second attachment eligible. But one who like me has
evinced a weakness must be more exemplary in every other part of her
character, and more tenacious in her conduct, least the _particular
affection_ which occasioned _her error_, should be imputed to her as a
_depravity_. The event will prove, how requisite it is, for the good
of society, that certain rules should be established, the infringers
of which ought to suffer, for the good of the community.
The effect of our passion was soon evident in my person--but sorry
I am to relate, grieved to repeat it--he left me; and at a time
when I expected every minute to become a mother; without affording
me one single line to _comfort_ or _relieve_ my mind from a state of
distraction, little short of madness. I was at last told he had been
obliged to set out on confidential business to the continent! Alas, in
what way did I lose his confidence? His _glory_ was dearer to me than
my _own life_; and had he told me of the circumstances, I should have
_urged_ his _departure_, instead of wishing to _protract_ his stay.
I was in despair for his unkindness! Had my steps been strewed with
flowers, had I been possessed of every outward accommodation wealth
could bestow, alas, how unavailing would all these advantages have
been to me! but in my situation, oppressed, afflicted, and surrounded
with mortifications, ignorant even of the means of my future support,
and that of his child, how dreadfully were my woes increased! This
mark of his inattention redoubled my grief. An assortment of flowers,
plants, etc. arrived after his departure, which only served to remind
me of the happiness I had proposed myself from their cultivation in
his company: but I could not live by their scent, like a Dutch damsel,
nor was I descended of Cameleons that could be kept with air. In my
despair I refused all kind of nourishment; but a worthy girl who lived
with me, recovered me from this _reverie_. If you are resolved, madam,
(said she) never to eat a morsel more during your existence, your
behaviour at present is very consistent; but if you design ever to do
so, believe me that this is the best time you can possibly do so for
yourself, exclusive of your child, who must suffer with you. The last
argument was a prevailing one--I enquired for food, and eat greedily.
I was soon afterwards delivered of a lovely boy--I took him in my
arms--each feature depicted his beloved, though cruel father! He has
since been my only solace, comfort, and happiness--were I hunted out
of society, and were I to meet with every species of abuse on _his
account_, he would be infinitely more interesting to me than all that
the world could confer upon me.
After two months, during which time I flattered myself I should
hear from Sir Harry, though my hopes proved too sanguine, I removed
from his house--I cared not where I went, if distant from a place he
could discover me in, at a time when his capricious passion might
bring him back to me. Many unfortunate women, in such a situation,
give themselves up (as Ariadne did) to Bacchus, from the day they are
deserted--But a superior education taught me better. My maid's brother
was a captain of a ship; I agreed with him to bring us to this place.
My child justified my keeping a few valuable trinkets Sir Harry had
given me, which I should otherwise have returned--I set out, and,
philosopher-like, carried all my possessions about me. These trinkets,
and industry, have hitherto supported us--I revere virtue, though I
have unhappily swerved from the established rules of virtue _in my
country_--but I have the same warm affection for virtuous people, the
same tenderness for the unhappy, and the same regard for those whom
prosperity hath not blinded!
Lord Ogilby replied, Sir Harry Bingley must have been nursed among
rocks, and suckled by tigers, to have used you thus! But you, even
now, would prefer being the object of his licentious passion, rather
than to become my virtuous wife! Miss Harris bowed, and replied,
I flattered myself, my lord, that I had, though not without great
confusion to myself, made you acquainted with my character--I
therefore am highly superior to the inference you have indelicately
made. I shall owe my future innocence to the sense I have of my
lover's perfidy; as the sore wound the viper gives, the viper best
cures. But my unfortunate circumstances exclude my ever thinking of
any other of the sex: All the rest of mankind _are_, and must remain
to me _a distinct species_. I would much rather die a thousand deaths,
than that my heart should have once conceived such a thought! I have
imprinted him in my heart in such deep characters, that nothing can
rase it out, unless it rub my heart out. Although he has left me to
be for ever miserable--may he be blessed--and may the fair-one whom
he selects to be his happy, happy wife, love him the hundredth part I
did! In this cottage will I remain! here dedicate my life to industry,
to procure for the child of the man I love, the means of food and
education: and when the great God calls upon me to offer up an account
of all my deeds, I _cannot_, _do not_ believe, I shall be found very
defective in what his justice will exact from me. Though I lament the
error I fell into, and am now convinced that we can have no distinct
notions of human happiness, without the previous knowledge of the
human constitution, of all its active and perceptive powers, and their
natural objects: therefore the most natural method of proceeding in
the science of morals, is to begin with inquiring into our several
natural determinations, and the objects from whence our happiness
can arise.--This, my lord, I have carefully done--my resolution is
consequently fixed. Lord Ogilby again said, Madam, let me still
intreat you to consider--If you have any hopes of his return, of all
old debts, love, when it comes to be so, is paid the most unwillingly;
and all you get by your constancy, is the loss of that beauty for
_one lover_, which independent of my proposal to you, would procure
you the vows, sacrifice, and service, of _a thousand_! She renewed
her thanks for his lordship's good opinion; added, she entertained no
hopes such as he had suggested, and must only beg leave to add, before
she concluded, after entreating we would conceal his name, that it was
not only a partiality for his person, but admiration of his character,
that must bind her for ever his.
Lord Ogilby consigned a sum of money with her maid, that in case
indisposition should interfere with her plans, she should still
encounter no inconveniences.
I should not, my dear Aunt, have detained you so long with this
story, did I not know your friendship to Sir Harry Bingley--I
founded his sentiments, he is still fondly attached to this lovely
woman--Honor, and a responsible situation, obliged him to leave her at
the time, and his letters miscarried by the sudden death of a friend
he entrusted them to. No part of my life, said he, can I recollect
with so much satisfaction, as that which I spent with my lovely wife,
for _such_ I shall ever consider her. I reflect on the supposed
injuries she thinks she has received from me, and I lament I know not
_where she is_ to make her every reparation in my power. Immediately
on my arrival, I went to the place where I had left her--but no trace
remained; she was fled, and had carried along with her the fruit of
our affection. I have been fatigued with inquiries to no purpose--and
conclude her dead; perhaps with grief for my supposed ingratitude.
Without letting Sir Harry know I was acquainted with his story, I
discovered every thing from him I wished; and had the pleasure of
hearing of his present independent fortunes, which put it in his power
to realize the truth of his professions to Miss Harris. I sent off a
courier to her--she is now on her return to England.
But to return to my own affairs--I went to Italy, but could hear no
tidings of the Duke de Salis; was only informed, that his son, after
some irregularities inherent in youth, had made a very good figure in
the army, but for some time past had not been heard of--Nor was it
known to what place the duke had retired. To amuse my chagrin, I went
one evening to masquerade at Venice, in the time of the carnival, and
fell in chat with a very agreeable young gentleman and his sister.
They politely hoped our acquaintance would not cease at the end of the
ball, and solicited a continuance of it--with this I very cheerfully
complied. I went--and am mortified to betray my weakness to you; but
truth obliges me to confess, that notwithstanding the pre-engagement
of my heart for the Countess de Sons, yet I could not resist the
attractions of Mademoiselle de Querci: my passion for her commenced
the first moment I saw her; and her charming behaviour hourly
increased it. She was majestic in her appearance; and in her were
combined all the qualities that can make desirable the woman I adore.
The more I saw her, the more was her empire confirmed over me;
but still dubious of the Countess's fate, and conscious of my
pre-engagement, honor kept me silent. I had every reason to flatter
myself my address would have been acceptable, but my passion was
subordinate to that sense of honor my former obligations subjected
me to. It is hard to account for the motions of the human heart, or
trace the little springs that give rise to its affections--numberless
latent accidents contribute to raise or allay them, without our being
sensible of their secret influence. Thus situated, I came to England
at your request. The uncertainty of the Countess's fate renders me
wretched, while, to confess the truth, Mademoiselle de Querci haunts
my imagination. But _your_ felicity alleviates _my_ uneasiness--as
your joys or sorrows must ever be reverberated on the heart of
Your ladyship's obliged
And affectionate nephew,
MUNSTER.'
From Lady Eliza Finlay, to the Countess of Darnley.
London.
'My Dear Aunt,
This is a place I often wished to come to, but the peaceful
satisfaction I have had in your company makes me in vain find it in
your absence--everything I see, everything I hear, is so contrary
to reason, that, without diverting one's self of that quality, it
is impossible to be pleased with any thing, though the novelty may
engage one's attention at first. All here appear to adopt the reigning
ideas, and fashionable pursuits, with as much pleasure as I feel in
conforming to the principles which your kind instructions and edifying
example have implanted in my mind. They do not, however, appear to
me to be happy, and, like comedians (who are not diverted with the
amusement they occasion) regret being condemned to communicate a
pleasure which they do not partake, and lament not having received,
from a different education, other tastes, other talents, and other
manners. I connect myself as little as possible with them; as in
epidemic distempers we are only secure whilst we escape the touch
of the contagious person; and with respect to wounds of the mind,
they are like those of the body. These extravagancies I might,
perhaps, some months ago have considered in a less serious manner,
but the evident melancholy in which my brother is, shews me the
vanity of everything in this world--So handsome in his person, so
accomplished in his manners--possessing everything the world places
a value on--and yet too apparently wretched. The Marquis of P----,
Lord Sombre, and his other friends, endeavour in vain to rouse him
out of his _reveries_.--You are possessed of such philosophy, that
you may look upon this matter in another light; as for me, who have
_strong passions_, and that inseparable companion of them, _weak
reason_, I cannot help being seriously alarmed. My beloved brother
has undoubtedly some secret cause of disquietude--he sighs at times
as if his heart would break! This affects me very sensibly; I never
was so unhappy in my life; besides, I have not my dear Aunt to give
a friendly check to my extravagance of spirits, so am afraid of
hazarding anything.--Every person looks formally at me. When your
friend the Duchess of W---- introduced me to Lady Charlotte Sombre,
she said she pleased herself with thinking what a harmony would arise
between us; for in the character, said she, I drew _of her_ to you,
she only sat _for yours_. Lady Charlotte is very agreeable, lively,
and entertaining. Lord Sombre, I fancy, is what you would esteem a
superior character; he is noble, and has a soul; a thing questioned
much in most of the gay youths whom we converse with. He appears to
have fine feelings--I intend to be on my guard before him--a man of
true taste and delicacy prefers the smile of the soul, to noisy mirth.
Lady Charlotte is addressed by Sir Alexander French--he told
her, his love would be eternal! That is, said she, neither to have
_beginning_ nor _end_. Sir Alexander is a very great coxcomb, she
therefore gives him no encouragement; and amused me with an account
of him--her brother checked her, and said there is an ostentation
in these kind of confidences, which he was mortified to observe in
her--that at least she should respect a man she had rendered unhappy,
and who had almost lost his reason on her account. She replied, it
were indeed a trifling sacrifice, were it even so, as he had so little
to part with, that it made the loss inconsiderable--love, said she,
never makes such a bustle in hearts like his--his is a _laughing_, not
a _melancholy_ Cupid. She has the charms of an angel, and dresses with
the greatest simplicity, regarding the colour and make of her cloaths,
rather than the quality.
When Lady Charlotte shewed me the _Arcadia_ of my mother's
painting[29], all the tender passions were up in my soul: I requested
to be left alone, and bursting into tears, I partly relieved the
emotions of my heart--Lord Sombre surprised me in this situation--I
was too much agitated at first to return him an answer to some
obliging things he said, but at last made an apology for my weakness!
His Lordship told me, the sensibility I testified confirmed him in the
high ideas he entertained of my character. He then expatiated to me on
a subject very agreeable, _my mother's virtues_. That the gentleman
who educated him had been well acquainted with her--who said,
that good sense and genius were united in her, and that by study,
reflection, and application, she had improved her talents in the
happiest manner--having acquired a superiority in thinking, speaking,
writing, and acting--and in manners, her behaviour, language, and
understanding, were inexpressibly charming.
The discourse of people here, my dear Aunt, appears to me
malicious; their civilities feigned; their confidences false; and
their friendships resemble a rose, which pricks the hand of him who
smells it. Every animal seeks its food, digs itself a hole, or builds
itself a nest--sleeps--and dies. It is a melancholy reflection that
the greatest part of mankind do _no more_. The employment which
distinguishes them most from other animals, is the care of cloathing
themselves, and their enmity to each other--the first of these
engages the attention of millions of the younger people in this great
city--while the more aged employ themselves in the last. Although
pride is observable in a peacock and a horse, passion, in a tiger,
gluttony in a wolf, envy in a dog, laziness in a monkey, and treachery
in a cat, yet one does not find, in any animal whatever, falseness to
their own species.
A love of play, and building, are the characteristics of this
age--our sex imitates the other as far as they can in the former--and
having no _terra firma_ for the latter, and not contented with the
ancient custom of castle-building, erect fabrics on their heads three
stores high. The rage of building is so great, that nothing can check
their ardour in it, although it has been the ruin of many individuals;
and there are at present (it is said) fifteen hundred uninhabited
houses in the two parishes of Saint Mary-le-bone and Pancras. Though
the fortunes of most individuals are decreased in value by the rise
of the prices of provisions, and other articles of expense, yet the
houses, good enough twenty years ago, are now judged inadequate. Among
many other reasons alledged for this, every woman of any tolerable
fashion requires a room for her wardrobe: what formerly could be kept
in a chest, occupies the space of a large apartment, as gowns (on
account of their trimmings) cannot be folded.
In short, my dear Aunt, all seem to walk in a vain show, and the
curls of _the head_ are more attended to, than the sensations of _the
heart_.
I hope Mrs Dorothea Bingley is become more reasonable than to wish
to force my dear friend's inclination to marry a man she detests.
Don't you think, my dear aunt, that marrying to increase love, is
like gaming to become rich; they only lose what little stock they had
before.
My brother desires his respectful compliments to you, as I beg mine
may be acceptable to your Lord; and I ever am, with the greatest
esteem,
Your ladyship's affectionate,
And obliged niece,
ELIZA FINLAY.
From the Countess of Darnley to
Lady Eliza Finlay
My Dear Niece,
As in my present situation[30] I am interdicted from writing--I
shall only indulge myself in a few words to you. The civilities you
have received from all friends give me great pleasure. Brought up
in the lap of friendship, I am not surprised, that upon your first
emerging into the great world you should feel the coldness of the
common address of strangers. It is possible those very accomplishments
which delighted your fond aunt and friends, _interested_ for your
welfare, procure you the envy of _uninterested observers_. But if
any one denies you the praises your merit claims, betray not any
mortification at their want of candour, as your sensibility would
afford them a malicious pleasure.
I have ever made it a rule, before I vexed myself about people's
appearing to slight me, to consider the character of the person, and
to discover the motives of his acting; and I very often found it was
with no design to affront me, but that the party was so humoursome as
even to be insupportable _to himself_. I have so long indulged myself
in the society of a few friends I love, that I am but ill suited
for the world, as anything unreasonable _vexes me_, and the want of
sincerity _offends me_. Mrs Dorothea Bingley continues to persecute
her niece on account of Mr Bennet! Nothing appears to me so barbarous.
I feel myself the happiest of women, and of wives, and enjoy my
felicity with a double _goût_, by reflecting upon the restrictions
I put on my inclinations for so many years. And I am perfectly
convinced, it is not until women have got over their early years, that
they can taste the delightful pleasure of loving and being beloved.
But no felicity is perfect in this world, and I find my joy allayed
from the observations I made on your brother's apparent melancholy. To
see you and him happy, and properly allied, are circumstances I still
must look forward to with great anxiety. I am very apt to believe man
a much greater machine than he is generally supposed to be. "Whoever
(says Dr Johnson) shall inquire by what motives he was determined on
important occasions, will find them such as his pride will scarcely
suffer him to confess; some sudden ardour of desire, some uncertain
glimpse of advantage, some petty competition, some inaccurate
conclusion, or some example implicitly reverenced."
Such are too often the causes of our resolves. Rousseau says, if
you would understand the men, study the women--I myself think that
it is difficult to know what a man's conduct will be, until you are
acquainted with his wife's character, particularly when he enters into
that connexion at an early period of his life.
My best affections ever attend you and your brother, in which my
lord most sincerely joins.