CASES AND DIRECTIONS ABOUT CONFESSING SINS AND INJURIES TO OTHERS.
_Tit. 1. Cases about Confessing Sins and Injuries to others._
_Quest._ I. In what cases is it a duty to confess wrongs to those
that we have wronged?
_Answ._ 1. When in real injuries you are unable to make any
restitution, and therefore must desire forgiveness, you cannot well do
it without confession. 2. When you have wronged a man by a lie, or by
false witness, or that he cannot be righted till you confess the
truth. 3. When you have wronged a man in his honour or fame, where the
natural remedy is to speak the contrary, and confess the wrong. 4.
When it is necessary to cure the revengeful inclination of him whom
you have wronged, or to keep up his charity, and so to enable him to
love you, and forgive you. 5. Therefore all known wrongs to another
must be confessed, except when impossibility, or some ill effect which
is greater than the good, be like to follow. Because all men are apt
to abate their love to those that injure them, and therefore all have
need of this remedy. And we must do our part to be forgiven by all
whom we have wronged.
_Quest._ II. What causes will excuse us from confessing wrongs to
others?
_Answ._ 1. When full recompence may be made without it, and no
forgiveness of the wrong is necessary from the injured, nor any of the
aforesaid causes require it. 2. When the wrong is secret and not known
to the injured party, and the confessing of it would but trouble his
mind, and do him more harm than good. 3. When the injured party is so
implacable and inhumane that he would make use of the confession to
the ruin of the penitent, or to bring upon him greater penalty than he
deserveth. 4. When it would injure a third person who is interested in
the business, or bring them under oppression and undeserved misery. 5.
When it tendeth to the dishonour of religion, and to make it scorned
because of the fault of the penitent confessor. 6. When it tendeth to
set people together by the ears, and breed dissension, or otherwise
injure the commonwealth or government. 7. In general, it is no duty to
confess our sin to him that we have wronged, when, all things
considered, it is like in the judgment of the truly wise, to do more
hurt than good: for it is appointed as a means to good, and not to do
evil.
_Quest._ III. If I have had a secret thought or purpose to wrong
another, am I bound to confess it, when it was never executed?
_Answ._ 1. You are not bound to confess it to the party whom you
intended to wrong, as any act of justice to make him reparation; nor
to procure his forgiveness to yourself: because it was no wrong to him
indeed, nor do thoughts and things secret come under his judgment, and
therefore need not his pardon. 2. But it is a sin against God, and to
him you must confess it. 3. And by accident, _finis gratia_, you
must confess it to men, in case it be necessary to be a warning to
others, or to the increase of their hatred of sin, or their
watchfulness, or to exercise your own humiliation, or prevent a
relapse, or to quiet your conscience, or in a word, when it is like to
do more good than hurt.
_Quest._ IV. To whom, and in what cases, must I confess to men my
sins against God, and when not?
_Answ._ The cases about that confession which belongeth to church
discipline, belongeth to the second part; and therefore shall here be
passed by. But briefly and in general, I may answer the question thus:
There are conveniences and inconveniences to be compared together, and
you must make your choice accordingly. The reasons which may move you
to confess your sins to another are these: 1. When another hath sinned
with you, or persuaded or drawn you to it, and must be brought to
repentance with you. 2. When your conscience hath in vain tried all
other fit means for peace or comfort, and cannot obtain it, and there
is any probability of such advice from others as may procure it. 3.
When you have need of advice to resolve your conscience, whether it be
sin or not, or of what degree, or what you are obliged to in order to
forgiveness. 4. When you have need of counsel to prevent the sin for
the time to come, and mortify the habit of it.
The inconveniences which may attend it, are such as these: 1. You are
not certain of another's secrecy; his mind may change, or his
understanding fail, or he may fall out with you, or some great
necessity may befall him to drive him to open what you told him. 2.
Then whether your shame or loss will not make you repent it, should be
foreseen. 3. And how far others may suffer in it. 4. And how far it
will reflect dishonour on religion. All things being considered on
both sides, the preponderating reasons must prevail.
_Tit. 2. Directions about Confessing Sin to others._
_Direct._ I. Do nothing which you are not willing to confess, or
which may trouble you much, if your confession should be opened.
Prevention is the easiest way: and foresight of the consequents should
make a wise man still take heed.
_Direct._ II. When you have sinned or wronged any, weigh well the
consequents on both sides before you make your confession: that you
may neither do that which you may wish undone again, nor causelessly
refuse your duty: and that inconveniences foreseen may be the better
undergone when they cannot be avoided.
_Direct._ III. When a well-informed conscience telleth you that
confession is your duty, let not self-respects detain you from it, but
do it whatever it may cost you. Be true to conscience, and do not
wilfully put off your duty. To live in the neglect of a known duty, is
to live in a known sin: which will give you cause to question your
sincerity, and cause more terrible effects in your souls, than the
inconveniences of confession could ever have been.
_Direct._ IV. Look to your repentance that it be deep and
absolute, and free from hypocritical exceptions and reserves. For half
and hollow repentance will not carry you through hard and costly
duties. But that which is sincere, will break over all: it will make
you so angry with yourselves and sins, that you will be as inclined to
take shame to yourselves in an honest revenge, as an angry man is to
bring shame upon his adversary. We are seldom over-tender of a man's
reputation whom we fall out with: and repentance is a falling out with
ourselves. We can bear sharp remedies, when we feel the pain, and
perceive the mortal danger of the disease: and repentance is such a
perception of our pain and danger. We will not tenderly hide a mortal
enemy, but bring him to the most open shame: and repentance causeth us
to hate sin as our mortal enemy. It is want of repentance that maketh
men so unwilling to make a just confession.
_Direct._ V. Take heed of pride, which maketh men so tender of
their reputation, that they will venture their souls to save their
honour: men call it bashfulness, and say they cannot confess for
shame; but it is pride that maketh them so much ashamed to be known by
men to be offenders, while they less fear the eye and judgment of the
Almighty. Impudence is a mark of a profligate sinner; but he that
pretendeth shame against his duty, is foolishly proud; and should be
more ashamed to neglect his duty, and continue impenitent in his sin.
A humble person can perform a self-abasing, humbling duty.
_Direct._ VI. Know the true uses of confession of sin, and use it
accordingly. Do it with a hatred of sin, to express yourselves
implacable enemies to it: do it to repair the wrong which you have
done to others, and the dishonour you have done to the christian
religion, and to warn the hearers to take heed of sin and temptation
by your fall; it is worth all your shame, if you save one sinner by it
from his sin: do it to lay the greater obligation upon yourselves for
the future, to avoid the sin and live more carefully; for it is a
double shame to sin after such humbling confessions.