SPECIAL DIRECTIONS FOR CHRISTIAN CONFERENCE, EXHORTATION, AND REPROOF.
_Tit. 1. Motives to Christian Conference and Exhortation._
The right use of speech being a duty of so great importance, as I have
before showed about the government of the tongue; and it being a way
of communication, by which we are all obliged to exercise our love to
one another, even in the greatest matter, the saving of souls; I shall
first endeavour to persuade them to this duty, who make too little
conscience of it; and that by these following considerations.
_Motive_ I. Consider that it is the exercise of our humanity:
reason and speech do difference us from brutes. If by being reasonable
we are men, then by using reason we live as men; and the first
communicative use of reason is by speech: by thinking, we exercise
reason for ourselves; by speaking, we exercise it (first) for others.
Therefore if our reason be given us for the highest uses to ourselves,
(to know God and eternal life, and the means thereto,) then certainly
our speech is also given us for the same highest uses, by way of
communication unto others. Use therefore your tongues to those noble
ends for which they were given you. Use them as the tongues of men, to
the ends which human nature is created for.
_Motive_ II. There is no subject so sublime and honourable for
the tongue of man to be employed about, as the matters of God, and
life eternal. Children will talk of childish toys, and countrymen talk
of their corn and cattle, and princes and statesmen look down on these
with contemptuous smiles, as much below them: but crowns and kingdoms
are incomparably more below the business of a holy soul! The higher
subjects philosophers treat of, the more honourable (if well done) are
their discourses. But none is so high as God and glory.
_Motive_ III. It is the most profitable subject to the hearers. A
discourse of riches, at the most, can but direct them how to grow
rich; a discourse of honours usually puffeth up the minds of the
ambitious: and if it could advance the auditors to honour, the fruit
would be a vanity little to be desired. But a discourse of God, and
heaven, and holiness, doth tend to change the hearers' minds into the
nature of the things discoursed of: it hath been the means of
converting and sanctifying many a thousand souls. As learned
discourses tend to make men learned in the things discoursed of, so
holy discourses tend to make men holy. For as natural generation
begetteth not gold or kingdoms, but a man; so speech is not made to
communicate to others (directly) the wealth, or health, or honours, or
any extrinsical things which the speaker hath; but to communicate
those mental excellencies which he is possessed of. Prov. xvi. 21, 22,
"The sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. Understanding is a
well-spring of life to him that hath it." Prov. x. 13, 21, "In the
lips of him that hath understanding, wisdom is found.--The lips of the
righteous feed many." Prov. xv. 7, "The lips of the wise disperse
knowledge; but the heart of the foolish doth not so." Prov. xx. 15,
"There is gold, and a multitude of rubies; but the lips of knowledge
are a precious jewel." Prov. x. 20, "The tongue of the just is as
choice silver; the heart of the wicked is little worth."
_Motive_ IV. Holy discourse is also most profitable to the
speaker himself. Grace increaseth by the exercise. Even in instructing
others and opening truth, we are ofttimes more powerfully led up to
further truth ourselves, than by solitary studies. For speech doth
awaken the intellectual faculty, and keepeth on the thoughts in order,
and one truth oft inferreth others, to a thus excited and prepared
mind. And the tongue hath a power of moving on our hearts; when we
blow the fire to warm another, both the exercise and the fire warm
ourselves: it kindleth the flames of holy love in us, to declare the
praise of God to others; it increaseth a hatred of sin in us, to open
its odiousness to others. We starve ourselves, when we starve the
souls which we should cherish.
_Motive_ V. Holy and heavenly discourse is the most delectable. I
mean in its own aptitude, and to a mind that is not diseased by
corruption. That which is most great, and good, and necessary, is most
delectable. What should best please us, but that which is best for us?
and best for others? and best in itself? The excellency of the subject
maketh it delightful! And so doth the exercise of our graces upon it:
and serious conference doth help down the truth into our hearts, where
it is most sweet. Besides that nature and charity make it pleasant to
do good to others. It can be nothing better than a subversion of the
appetite by carnality and wickedness, that maketh any one think idle
jests, or tales, or plays, to be more pleasant than spiritual,
heavenly conference; and the talking of riches, or sports, or lusts,
to be sweeter than to talk of God, and Christ, and grace, and glory. A
holy mind hath a continual feast in itself in meditating on these
things, and the communicating of such thoughts to others, is a more
common, and so a more pleasant feast.
_Motive_ VI. Our faithfulness to God obligeth us to speak his
praise, and to promote his truth, and plead his cause against
iniquity. Hath he given us tongues to magnify his name, and set before
us the admirable frame of all the world, to declare his glory in? And
shall we be backward to so sweet and great a work? How precious and
useful is all his holy word! What light, and life, and comfort may it
cause! And shall we bury it in silence? What company can we come into
almost, where either the barefaced committing of sin, or the defending
of it, or the opposition of truth or godliness, or the frigidity of
men's hearts towards God, and supine neglect of holy things, do not
call to us, if we are the servants of God, to take his part; and if we
are the children of light, to bear our testimony against the darkness
of the world; and if we love God, and truth, and the souls of men, to
show it by our prudent, seasonable speech? Is he true to God, and to
his cause, that will not open his mouth to speak for him?
_Motive_ VII. And how precious a thing is an immortal soul, and
therefore not to be neglected! Did Christ think souls to be worth his
mediation, by such strange condescension, even to a shameful death?
Did he think them worth his coming into flesh to be their teacher? And
will you not think them worth the speaking to?
_Motive_ VIII. See also the greatness of your sin, in the
negligence of unfaithful ministers. It is easy to see the odiousness
of their sin, who preach not the gospel, or do no more than by an
hour's dry and dead discourse, shift off the serious work which they
should do, and think they may be excused from all personal oversight
and helping of the people's souls all the week after. And why should
you not perceive that a dumb, private christian is also to be
condemned, as well as a dumb minister? Is not profitable conference
your duty, as well as profitable preaching is his? How many persons
condemn themselves, while they speak against unfaithful pastors! being
themselves as unfaithful to families and neighbours, as the other are
to the flock!
_Motive_ IX. And consider how the cheapness of the means, doth
aggravate the sin of your neglect, and show much unmercifulness to
souls. Words cost you little; indeed alone, without the company of
good works, they are too cheap for God to accept of. But if a
hypocrite may bring so cheap a sacrifice, who is rejected, what doth
he deserve that thinketh it too dear? What will that man do for God,
or for his neighbour's soul, who will not open his mouth to speak for
them? He seemeth to have less love than that man in hell, Luke xvi.
who would so fain have had a messenger sent from another world, to
have warned his brethren, and saved them from that place of torment.
_Motive_ X. Your fruitful conference is a needful help to the
ministerial work. When the preacher hath publicly delivered the word
of God to the assembly, if you would so far second him, as in your
daily converse to set it home on the hearts of those that you have
opportunity to discourse with, how great an assistance would it be to
his success! Though he must teach them publicly, and from house to
house, Acts xx. 20, yet is it not possible for him to be so frequent
and familiar in daily conference with all the ignorant of the place,
as those that are still with them may be. You are many, and he is but
one, and can be but in one place at once. Your business bringeth you
into their company, when he cannot be there. O happy is that minister
who hath such a people, who will daily preach over the matter of his
public sermons in their private conference with one another! Many
hands make quick work. This would most effectually prevail against the
powers of darkness, and cast out Satan from multitudes of miserable
souls.
_Motive_ XI. Yea, when ministers are wanting, through scarcity,
persecution, or unfaithfulness and negligence, the people's holy,
profitable conference would do much towards the supplying of that
want. There have few places and ages of the world been so happy, but
that learned, able, faithful pastors have been so few, that we had
need to pray to the Lord of the harvest to send forth more. And it is
nothing unusual to have those few silenced or hindered from the
preaching of the gospel, by the factions or the malignity of the
world! And it is yet more common to have ignorant or ungodly persons
in that office, who betray the people's souls by their usurpation,
impiety, or slothfulness. But if in all such wants, the people that
fear God would do their part in private conference, it would be an
excellent supply. Ministers may be silenced from public preaching,
when you cannot be silenced from profitable discourse.
_Motive_ XII. It is a duty that hath many great advantages for
success. 1. You may choose your season; if one time be not fit, you
may take another. 2. You may choose the person, whom you find to have
the greatest necessity or capacity, and where your labour is likeliest
to take. 3. You may choose your subject, and speak of that which you
find most suitable. There is no restraint nor imposition upon you, to
hinder your liberty in this. 4. You may choose your arguments by which
you would enforce it. 5. Interlocutory conference keepeth your
auditors attentive, and carrieth them on along with you as you go. And
it maketh the application much more easy, by their nearness and the
familiarity of the discourse; when sermons are usually heard but as an
insignificant sound, or words of course. 6. You may at your pleasure
go back and repeat those things which the hearer doth not understand,
or doth forget; which a preacher in the pulpit cannot do without the
censure of the more curious auditors. 7. You may perceive by the
answers of them whom you speak to, what particulars you need most to
insist on, and what objections you should most carefully resolve; and
when you have satisfied them, and may proceed. All which it is hard
for a minister to do in public preaching; and is it not a great sin to
neglect such an advantageous duty?
_Motive_ XIII. And it should somewhat encourage you to it, that
it is an unquestionable duty, when many other are brought into
controversy. Ministers preach under the regulation of human laws and
canons, and it is a great controversy with many, whether they shall
preach, when they are silenced or forbidden by their superiors; but
whether you may speak for God and for men's salvation in your familiar
conference, no man questioneth, nor doth any law forbid it.
_Motive_ XIV. Hath not the fruitful conference of others, in the
days of your ignorance, done good to you? Have you not been
instructed, convinced, persuaded, and comforted by it? What had become
of you, if all men had let you alone, and passed you by, and left you
to yourselves? And doth not justice require that you do good to
others, as others have done to you, in the use of such a tried means?
_Motive_ XV. Consider how forward the devil's servants are to
plead his cause! How readily and fiercely will an ignorant, drunken
sot pour out his reproaches and scorns against religion! and speak
evil of the things which he never understood! How zealously will a
papist, or heretic, or schismatic, promote the interest of his sect,
and labour to proselyte others to his party! And shall we be less
zealous and serviceable for Christ, than the devil's servants are for
him? and do less to save souls, than they will do to damn them?
_Motive_ XVI. Nay, in the time of your sin and ignorance, if you
have not spoken against religion, nor taught others to curse, or
swear, or speak in ribald, filthy language, yet, at least, you have
spent many an hour in idle, fruitless talk? And doth not this now
oblige you to show your repentance by more fruitful conference? Will
you since your conversion speak as unprofitably as you did before?
_Motive_ XVII. Holy conference will prevent the guilt of foolish,
idle talk. Men will not be long silent, but will talk of somewhat, and
if they have not profitable things to talk of, they will prate of
vanity. All the foolish chat, and frothy jests, and scurrilous
ribaldry, and envious backbiting, which taketh up men's time, and
poisoneth the hearers, is caused by their want of edifying discourse,
which should keep it out. The rankest wits and tongues will have most
weeds, if they be not cultivated and taught to bear a better crop.
_Motive_ XVIII. Your tongues will be instrumental to public good
or public hurt. When filthy, vain, and impious language is grown
common, it will bring down common plagues and judgments! And if you
cross not the custom, you seem to be consenters, and harden men in
their sin. But holy conference may, at least, show that some partake
not of the evil, and may free them from the plague, if they prevail
not with others so far as to prevent it. "Then they that feared the
Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it,
and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared
the Lord, and thought upon his name. And they shall be mine, saith the
Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare
them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him," Mal. iii. 16, 17.
_Motive_ XIX. Consider what great necessity there is every where
of fruitful, edifying speech. 1. In the multitude of the ignorant; and
the greatness of their ignorance. 2. The numbers of the sensual and
obstinate. 3. The power of blindness, and of every sin: what root it
hath taken in the most of men. 4. The multitude of baits which are
every where before them. 5. The subtilty of Satan and his instruments
in tempting. 6. The weakness and unconstancy of man, that hath need of
constant solicitation. 7. The want of holy, faithful pastors, which
maketh private men's diligence the more necessary. And in such
necessity to shut up our mouths, is to shut up the bowels of our
compassion, when we see our brother's need; and how then doth the love
of God dwell in us? 1 John iii. 17. To withhold our exhortation, is as
the withholding of corn from the poor in a time of famine, which
procureth a curse, Prov. xi. 26. And though in this case men are
insensible of their want, and take it not ill to be passed by, yet
Christ that died for them will take it ill.
_Motive_ XX. Lastly, Consider how short a time you are like to
speak; and how long you must be silent. Death will quickly stop your
breath, and lay you in the dark, and tell you that all your
opportunities are at an end. Speak now, for you have not long to
speak. Your neighbours' lives are hastening to an end, and so are
yours; they are dying and must hear no more, (till they hear their
doom,) and you are dying and must speak no more; and they will be lost
for ever if they have not help: pity them then, and call on them to
foresee the final day; warn them now, for it must be now or never:
there is no instructing and admonishing them in the grave. Those
sculls which you see cast up, had once tongues which should have
praised their Creator and Redeemer, and have helped to save each
other's souls; but now they are tongueless. It is a great grief to us
that are now here silenced, that we used not our ministry more
laboriously and zealously while we had time. And will it not be so
with you, when death shall silence you, that you spake not for God
while you had a tongue to speak?
Let all these considerations stir up all that God hath taught a holy
language, to use it for their Master's service while they may, and to
repent of sinful silence.
_Tit. 2. Directions for Christian Conference and Edifying Speech._
_Direct._ I. The most necessary direction for a fruitful tongue
is to get a well-furnished mind, and a holy heart, and to walk with
God in holiness yourselves: for out of the abundance of the heart the
mouth will speak. That which you are fullest of, is readiest to come
forth. 1. Spare for no study or labour to get understanding in the
things of God: it is a weariness to hear men talk foolishly of any
thing, but no where so much as about divine and heavenly things. A
wise christian instructed to the kingdom of God, hath a treasury in
his mind, out of which he can bring forth things new and old, Matt.
xiii. 52. "Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest
not in him the lips of knowledge," Prov. xiv. 7. 2. Get all that
holiness in yourselves, to which you would persuade another. There is a
strange communicating power in the course of nature, for every thing to
produce its like. Learning and good utterance is very helpful; but it is
holiness that is aptest to beget holiness in others. Words which proceed
from the love of God, and a truly heavenly mind, do most powerfully
tend to breed in others that love of God and heavenly-mindedness.
3. Live in the practice of that which you would draw your neighbour to
practise. A man that cometh warm from holy meditation, or fervent
prayer, doth bring upon his heart a fulness of matter, and an earnest
desire, and a fitness to communicate that good to others, which he
himself hath felt.
_Direct._ II. Especially see that you soundly believe yourselves
what you are to speak to others. He that hath secret infidelity at his
heart, and is himself unsatisfied whether there be a heaven and hell,
and whether sin be so bad and holiness so necessary as the Scripture
speaks, will speak but heartlessly of them to another; but if we
believe these things, as if we saw them with our eyes, how heartily
shall we discourse of them!
_Direct._ III. Keep a compassionate sense of the misery of
ignorant, ungodly, impenitent souls. Think what a miserable bondage of
darkness and sensuality they are in; and that it is light that must
recover them: think oft how quickly they must die, and what an
appearance they must make before the Lord, and how miserable they must
be for ever, if now they be not convinced and sanctified! And sure
this will stir up your bowels to pity them, and make you speak.
_Direct._ IV. Subdue foolish shame or bashfulness, and get a holy
fortitude of mind. Remember what a sin it is to be ashamed of such a
Master, and such a cause and work, which all would be glad to own at
last; and that when the wicked are not ashamed of the service of the
devil, and the basest works. And remember that threatening, "Whosoever
shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful
generation, of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he
cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels," Mark viii. 38.
_Direct._ V. Be always furnished with those particular truths
which may be most useful in this service. Study to do your work (in
your degree) as ministers study to do theirs; who are not contented
with the habitual furniture of their minds, but they also make
particular preparations for their particular work. If you are to go
into the field to your labour, you will take those tools with you by
which it must be done: so do when you go abroad among any that you may
do good to, and be not unfurnished for edifying discourse.
_Direct._ VI. Speak most of the greatest things, (the folly of
sin, the vanity of the world, the certainty and nearness of death and
judgment, the overwhelming weight of eternity, the necessity of
holiness, the work of redemption, &c.) and choose not the smaller
matters of religion to spend your time upon (unless upon some special
reason). Among good men that will not lose their time on vanity, the
devil too oft prevaileth, to make them lose it by such religious
conference, as is little to edification, that greater matters may be
thereby thrust out; such as Paul calleth "Vain janglings, and doting
about questions which engender strife, and not godly edifying:" as
about their several opinions or parties, or comparing one preacher or
person with another, or such things as tend but little to make the
hearers more wise, or holy, or heavenly.
_Direct._ VII. Suit all your discourse to the quality of your
auditors. That which is best in itself, may not be best for every
hearer. You must vary both your subject and manner of discourse,
1. According to the variety of men's knowledge: the wise and the
foolish must not be spoken to alike. 2. According to the variety of
their moral qualities: one may be very pious, and another weak in
grace, and another only teachable and tractable, and another wicked
and impenitent, and another obstinate and scornful. These must not be
talked to with the same manner of discourse. 3. According to the
variety of particular sins which they are inclined to; which in some
is pride, in some sensuality, lust, or idleness, in some covetousness,
and in some an erroneous zeal against the church and cause of Christ.
Every wise physician will vary his remedies, not only according to the
kind of the disease, but according to its various accidents, and the
complexion also of the patient.
_Direct._ VIII. Be sure to do most where you have most authority
and obligation. He that will neglect and slight his family, relations,
children, and servants, who are under him, and always with him, and
yet be zealous for the conversion of strangers, doth discover much
hypocrisy, and showeth, that it is something else than the love of
souls, or sense of duty, which carrieth him on.
_Direct._ IX. Never speak of holy things, but with the greatest
reverence and seriousness you can. The manner as well as the matter is
needful to the effect. To talk of sin and conversion, of God and
eternity, in a common, running, careless manner, as you speak of the
men, and the matters of the world, is much worse than silence, and
tendeth but to debauch the hearers, and bring them to a contempt of
God and holiness. I remember myself, that when I was young, I had
sometime the company of one ancient godly minister, who was of weaker
parts than many others, but yet did profit me more than most; because
he would never in prayer or conference speak of God, or the life to
come, but with such marvellous seriousness and reverence, as if he had
seen the majesty and glory which he talked of.
_Direct._ X. Take heed of inconsiderate, imprudent passages,
which may mar all the rest, and give malignant auditors advantage of
contempt and scorn. Many honest christians, through their ignorance,
thus greatly wrong the cause they manage (I would I might not say,
many ministers). Too few words is not so bad, as one such imprudent,
foolish word too much.
_Direct._ XI. Condescend to the weak, and bear with their
infirmity. If they give you foolish answers, be not angry and
impatient with them; yea, or if they perversely cavil and contradict.
"For the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be gentle to all
men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing opposers, if God
peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the
truth," 2 Tim. ii. 24, 25. He is a foolish physician that cannot bear
the words of a phrenetic or delirant patient.
_Direct._ XII. When you are among those that can teach you, be
not so forward to teach as to learn. Be not eager to vent what you
have to say, but desirous to hear what your betters have to say.
Questions in such a case should be most of your part: it requireth
great skill and diligence to draw that out of others, which may profit
you; and be not impatient if they cross your opinions, or open your
ignorance. Yea, those that you can teach in other things, yet in some
things may be able to add much to your knowledge.
_Tit. 3. Special Directions for Reproof and Exhortation for the good
of others._
This duty is so great, that Satan hindereth it with all his power, and
so hard, that most men quite omit it (unless an angry reproach may go
for christian exhortation): and some spoil it in the management; and
some proud, censorious persons mistake the exercise of their pride and
passion, for the exercise of a charitable christian duty; and seem to
be more sensible of their neighbour's sin and misery, than of their
own. Therefore that you miscarry not in so needful a work, I shall add
these following directions.
_Direct._ I. Be sure first that your reproof have a right end;
and then let the manner be suited to that end. If it be to convince
and convert a soul, it must be done in a manner likely to prevail; if
it be only to bear down the argument of a deceiver, to preserve the
standers-by, to vindicate the honour of God and godliness, and to
dishonour sin, and to disgrace an obstinate factor for the devil, then
another course is fit. Therefore resolve first, by the quality of the
cause and person, what must be your end.
_Direct._ II. Be sure that you reprove not that as a sin, which
is no sin; either by mistaking the law or the fact. To make duties and
sins of our own opinions and inventions, and then to lay out our zeal
on these, and censure or reprove all that think not as hardly of such
things as we; this is to make ourselves the objects of the hearers'
pity; and not to exercise just pity towards others! Such reproofs
deserve reproof; for they discover great ignorance, and pride, and
self-conceitedness, and very much harden sinners in their way; and
make them think that all reproof is but the vanity of fantastical
hypocrites. In some cases with a child, or servant, or private friend,
or for prevention, we may speak of faults upon hearsay or suspicion;
but it must be as of things uncertain, and as a warning rather than a
reproof. In ordinary reproof, you must understand the case before you
speak; it is a shame to say after, I thought it had been otherwise.
Such an erroneous reproof is worse than none.
_Direct._ III. Choose not the smallest sins to reprove, nor the
smallest duties to exhort them to. For that will make them think that
all your zeal is taken up with little matters, and that there is no
great necessity of regarding you; and conscience will be but little
moved by your speech: when greater things will greatly and more easily
affect men.
_Direct._ IV. Stop not (with unregenerate men) in the mention of
particular sins or duties; but make use of particulars to convince
them of a state of sin and misery. It is easy to convince a man that
he is a sinner; and when that is done, he is never the more humbled or
converted: for he will tell you, that all are sinners; and therefore
he hopeth to speed as well as you. But you must make him discern his
sinful state, and show him the difference between a penitent sinner,
and an impenitent; a converted sinner, and an unconverted; a
justified, pardoned sinner, and an unjustified, unpardoned one; or
else you will do him but little good.
_Direct._ V. Suit the manner of your reproof to the quality of
the person. It is seldom that a parent, master, or superior, must be
reproved by a private inferior; and when it is done, it must be done
with great submission and respect. An angry, peevish person must be
dealt with tenderly, as you handle thorns; but a duller, sottish
person, must be more earnestly and warmly dealt with. So also a
greater sin must be roughly handled, or with greater detestation, than
a less.
_Direct._ VI. Take a fit season. Not when a man is in drink, or
passion, or among others where the disgrace will vex and harden him;
but in secret between him and you (if his conversion be your end).
_Direct._ VII. Do all in love and tender pity. If you convince
not the hearer that you do it in unfeigned love, you must (usually)
expect to lose your labour; because you make not advantage of his
self-love, to promote your exhortations: therefore the exhorting way
should be more frequent than the reproving way; for reproof disgraceth
and exasperateth, when the same thing contrived into an exhortation
may prevail.[147]
_Direct._ VIII. Therefore be as much or more in showing the good
which you would draw them to, as the evil which you would turn them
from. For they are never savingly converted, till they are won to the
love of God and holiness; therefore the opening of the riches of the
gospel, and the love of God, and the joys of heaven, must be the
greatest part of your treaty with a sinner.
_Direct._ IX. And labour so to help him to a true understanding
of the nature of religion, that he may perceive that it is not only a
necessary but a pleasant thing. All love delights: it is the slander
and misrepresentation of godliness by the devil, the world, and the
flesh, which maketh mistaken sinners shun it. The way to convert them,
and win their hearts to it, is to make them know how good and pleasant
it is, and to confute those calumnies.
_Direct_ X. Yet always insert the remembrance of death, and
judgment, and hell. For the drowsy mind hath need to be awakened; and
love worketh best when fear subserveth it. It is hard to procure a
serious audience and consideration of things from hardened hearts, if
the sight of death and hell do not help to make them serious. Danger
which must be escaped, must be known and thought on. These things put
weight and power into your speech.
_Direct._ XI. Do all as with divine authority; and therefore have
ready some plain texts of Scripture for the duty and against the sin
you speak of.[148] Show them where God himself hath said it.
_Direct._ XII. Seasonable expostulations, putting themselves to
judge themselves in their answer, hath a convincing and engaging
force. As when you show them Scripture, ask them, Is not this the word
of God? Do you not believe that it is true? Do you think he that wrote
this, knoweth not better than you or I? &c.
_Direct._ XIII. Put them on speedy practice, and prudently engage
them to it by their promise. As if you speak to a drunkard, draw him
to promise you to come no more (at least, of so long a time) into an
alehouse; or not drink ale or wine but by the consent of his wife, or
some sober, household friend, who may watch over him. Engage the
voluptuous, the unchaste, and gamester, to forsake the company which
insnareth them. Engage the ungodly to read the Scripture, to frequent
good company, to pray morning and night (with a book or without, as
they are best able). Their promise may bring them to such a present
change of practice, as may prepare for more.
_Direct._ XIV. If you know any near you, who are much fitter than
yourselves, and liker to prevail, procure them to attempt that which
you cannot do successfully.[149] At least when sinners perceive that
it is not only one man's opinion, it may somewhat move them to
reverence the reproof.
_Direct._ XV. Put some good book into their hands, which is
fitted to the work which you would have done. And get them to promise
you seriously to read it over, and consider it; as if it be for the
conversion of a careless sinner, Mr. Whateley's, or Mr. Swinnock's
"Treatise of Regeneration;" or some other treatise of repentance and
conversion. If it be for one that is prejudiced against a strict
religious life, Mr. Allen's "Vindication of Godliness." If it be an
idle, voluptuous person, who wasteth precious time in plays or
needless recreations, in gaming or an idle life, Mr. Whateley's
sermon, called "The Redemption of Time." If it be a prayerless person,
Dr. Preston's "Saint's Daily Exercise:" if it be a drunkard, Mr.
Harris's "Drunkard's Cup:" and for many reigning, particular sins, a
book called "Solomon's Prescription against the Plague:" for
directions in the daily practice of godliness, "The Practice of
Piety," or Mr. Thomas Gouge's "Directions," &c. Such books may speak
more pertinently than you can; and be as constant food to their sober
thoughts, and so may further what you have begun.
_Direct._ XVI. When you cannot speak, or where your speaking
prevaileth not, mourn for them; and earnestly pray for their
recovery.[150] A sad countenance of Nehemiah remembered Artaxerxes of
his duty. A sigh or a tear for a miserable sinner, may move his heart,
when exhortation will not. He hath a heart of stone, who will have no
sense of his condition, when he seeth another weeping for him.
_Quest._ But is it always a duty to reprove or exhort a sinner?
How shall I know when it is my duty, and when it is not?
_Answ._ It is no duty in any of these cases following. 1. In
general, When you have sufficient reason to judge, that it will do
more harm than good, and will not attain its proper end; for God hath
not appointed us to do hurt under pretence of duty; it is no means
which doth cross the end which it should attain. As prayer and
preaching may be a sin, when they are like to cross their proper end;
so also may reproof be.
2. Therefore it must not be used when it apparently hindereth a
greater good. As we may not pray or preach when we should be quenching
a fire in the town, or saving a man's life: so when reproof doth
exclude some greater duty or benefit, it is unseasonable, and no duty
at that time. Christ alloweth us to forbear the casting of pearls
before swine, or giving that which is holy to dogs, because of these
two reasons forementioned, It is no means to the contemptuous, and
they will turn again and all to rend us.[151] Much more, if he be some
potent enemy of the church, who will not only rend us, but the church
itself, if he be so provoked: reproving him then is not our duty.
3. Particularly, When a man is in a passion or drunk usually it is no
season to reprove him.
4. Nor when you are among others, who should not be witnesses of the
fault, or the reproof; or whose presence will shame him, and offend
him (except it be only the shaming of an incorrigible or malicious
sinner which you intend).
5. Nor when you are uncertain of the fact which you would reprove, or
uncertain whether it be a sin.
6. Or when you have no witness of it, (though you are privately
certain,) with some that will take advantage against you as
slanderers, a reproof may be omitted.
7. And when the offenders are so much your superiors, that you are
like to have no better success than to be accounted arrogant; a groan
or tears is then the best reproof.
8. When you are so utterly unable to manage a reproof, that imprudence
or want of convincing reason, is like to make it a means of greater
hurt than good.
9. When you foresee a more advantageous season, if you delay.
10. When another may be procured to do it with much more advantage,
which your doing it may rather hinder.
In all these cases, that may be a sin, which at another time may be a
duty.
But still remember, first, That pride, and passion, and slothfulness,
is wont to pretend such reasons falsely, upon some slight conjectures,
to put by a duty. Secondly, That no man must account another a dog or
swine, to excuse him from this duty, without cogent evidence. And it
is not every wrangling opposition, nor reproach and scorn, which will
warrant us to give a man up as remediless, and speak to him no more;
but only such, 1. As showeth a heart utterly obdurate, after long
means. 2. Or will procure more suffering to the reprover, than good to
the offender. 3. That when the thing is ordinarily a duty, the reasons
of our omission must be clear and sure, before they will excuse
us.[152]
_Quest._ Must we reprove infidels or heathens? What have we to do
to judge them that are without?
_Answ._ Not to the ends of excommunication, because they are not
capable of it,[153] which is meant 1 Cor. v. But we must reprove them,
first, In common compassion to their souls. What were the apostles and
other preachers sent for, but to call all men from their sins to God?
Secondly, And for the defence of truth and godliness, against their
words, or ill examples.
[147] 2 Thess. iii. 15; 2 Cor. ii. 4; Gal. vi. 1; 2 Tim. ii. 25;
1 Thess. v. 13.
[148] Col. iii. 16.
[149] Ezek. xxxiii. xxxiv.; Gal. vi. 1; Tit. ii. 4.
[150] Ezek. ix. 4; 2 Pet. ii. 7, 8.
[151] Prov. ix. 7, 8; Matt. vii. 6.
[152] Gen. xx. 36; Job xiii. 13; Heb. xiii. 22; 2 Pet. i. 13;
2 Tim. ii. 25, 26.
[153] Deut. xxii. 1.