"Mother," said Brace Norton the next morning, as, none the worse for his
immersion, he stood by her side, she holding his hand the while and
gazing up into his face,--"mother, I went out yesterday with the full
intention of dreaming no more of my foolish love; and what was the
result? Strange, too," he said, with affected gaiety; "one would have
thought that an hour's immersion would have quenched it. But there, you
will, perhaps, laugh at me, and think me childish and full of folly;
still, I cannot help it--I love her more dearly than ever, and feel no
shame in owning it to you. How am I to give her up now, after holding
her to my breast as I did for a whole hour yesterday, her arms clasped
the while round my neck, and her poor head resting upon my shoulder?
Mother, it was a mingling of misery, despair, and bliss; and when, at
last, I had given up all hope of being saved--when I had struggled till
I could struggle no more--when I had called till my voice failed in my
throat--when I felt that my--our last hour was at hand, I broke faith
even with myself."
Brace paused for a few moments, for his voice was husky, but recovering
himself, he went on:
"I dare say it was wrong; but I was under the impression that all was
over. I could have saved my own life, perhaps; but I could not leave
her to perish. The sun had sunk, and darkness was fast coming on; the
evening breeze was sighing what seemed to my excited fancy a dirge
amidst the rustling reeds; and again and again some curlew flew over us
giving utterance to a loud wail. At one time it seemed so hard to die
just in the spring of life; but the next instant, as I looked down at
the poor head resting upon my breast, the sorrow was all for her, and
with that sorrow there was a strange--an awful pleasure. It was, I
should think, about ten minutes before help came that she raised her
head, and her sweet beseeching eyes looked full in mine.
"`Is there no hope?' she whispered; and I feared to tell her the cruel
truth.
"`But you could save yourself,' she faltered; `you struggled too hard
before; why should you perish in trying to save me?'
"She spoke so earnestly, and with such a sweet resignation, that the
tears came gushing from my eyes--weak, womanly tears, mother; for I am
weak, very weak, I know, or I should not tell you all this."
"Is it weak to confide all things to her who gave you birth, Brace?"
whispered Mrs Norton.
"No--no!" he replied; and then, as if recalling the scene of the
preceding evening, he continued:
"`Try,' she whispered to me--`try once more, and you may bring help.'
"As she spoke she unloosed her arms from my neck, and it was like adding
despair to despair.
"`Why do you tempt me?' I said; for it seemed that now the time had
come when I might speak. `Do you think that I could live without you?
and do you not know that since the day when we first met my every
thought has been of you, and that I have vainly struggled to free
myself? You will believe me now--now that we are, perhaps, within a few
minutes to stand in the presence of our Maker. Isa, I love you with a
pure and holy love--a love that makes me, despairing as I am of ever
possessing you in this life, look forward to the prospect of being with
you in death,' I whispered, as I held her more tightly. `You know
little of me, but you know, perhaps, the sad misfortunes of our
families, and how it seems that by some strange intervention of fate my
heart has been led to you.'
"She was silent, but her arms once more rested upon my shoulder, and her
sweet innocent, girlish face was close to mine, as there, chilled to the
heart with the icy water, I asked her to forgive me my declaration, and
kissed her pale lips again and again.
"It was then that--urged once more by the strong desire for life--I
tried once more to utter a cry or two for help; and, five minutes after,
that help was at hand."
Brace Norton was silent now for a few minutes; and then, as if in answer
to his mother's look, he said:
"Must I, then, go?"
"Yes, Brace--yes. Your father leaves in an hour. It will be far
better. Only for a few days, till she recovers and is removed."
"But may I not see her first?" he pleaded.
"Brace, my dear boy," said Mrs Norton, proudly, "would it be honourable
to take advantage of her position here? Too much has already passed for
your peace of mind. Go, now; and leave the house free to Sir Murray
Gernon to come and go untouched in his sensitiveness. You must fight
still, and bravely, too."
Without another word the young man slowly left the room; and before an
hour had elapsed Captain Norton and his son were on their way to
Marshton.
Book 2, Chapter XI.