_Beastly._ Why do I not see my fiancée? Where is she? The betrothal is
to be this evening, so it is about time to let her know that she is to
be married soon.
_Mrs. Uncouth._ There is time for that, brother. If we were to tell
her that ahead of time, she might get it into her head that we are
reporting to her as to a superior person. Although I am related to her
through my husband, yet I love even strangers to obey me.
_Uncouth_ (_to Beastly_). To tell the truth, we have treated Sophia
like a real orphan. She was but a baby when her father died. It is now
half a year since her mother, who is related to me by marriage, had an
apoplectic fit----
_Mrs. Uncouth_ (_as if making the sign of the cross_). The Lord be with
us!
_Uncouth._--which took her to the other world. Her uncle, Mr.
Conservative, has gone to Siberia, and as there has been no news from
him for some years we regard him as dead. Seeing that she was left
alone, we took her to our village, and we watch her property like our
own.
_Mrs. Uncouth._ What makes you talk so much to-day, husband? My brother
might think that we took her to our house for our own interest.
_Uncouth._ How could he think so? We can’t move up Sophia’s property to
ours.
_Beastly._ Even if her movable property has been removed, I won’t go
to law for that. I don’t like the law courts, and I am afraid of them.
No matter how much my neighbours have insulted me, no matter how much
damage they have done me, I have never had any litigations with them.
Rather than have trouble with them, I make my peasants suffer for the
damages my neighbours do me, and that’s the end of it.
_Uncouth._ That is so, brother. The whole district says that you are a
great hand at getting work out of your peasants.
_Mrs. Uncouth._ I wish, brother, you would teach us to do likewise, for
since we have taken everything away from the peasants that they had,
there is nothing left with them which we can carry off. It’s a real
misfortune!
_Beastly._ I don’t mind, sister, giving you a lesson, only first marry
me to Sophia.
_Mrs. Uncouth._ Have you really taken a liking to the girl?
_Beastly._ No, it is not the girl I like.
_Uncouth._ Then it is her adjoining villages?
_Beastly._ Not even her villages; but that which is to be found in her
villages, and for which I have a great passion.
_Mrs. Uncouth._ What is it, brother?
_Beastly._ I like the pigs, sister. Down our way there are some very
big pigs: why, there is not one among them that if it stood up on its
hind legs would not be a head taller than any of us.
_Uncouth._ Now, brother, this is a wonderful family resemblance. Our
dear Mitrofán is just like his uncle: he has had the same passion for
pigs ever since babyhood. He was only three years old when he would
tremble with joy every time he saw a pig.
_Beastly._ Truly wonderful! All right: Mitrofán loves pigs because he
is my nephew. There is some resemblance there. But why have I such a
passion for pigs?
_Uncouth._ There must be some resemblance there too, that’s what I
think.