[_MAGA._ JUNE 1829.]
"Let him, to whom experience hath been allotted, think it a duty to
impart it. We know not of how long a growth goodness is; nor how slow
an approach even a protracted culture makes towards perfection. A life
of holiness may end in an apostle. As the tree, that hath felt all the
winds of heaven, strikes root in that direction whence they oftenest
blow, so goodness must have known vicissitude, to know when to resist
and when to bend. To know ourselves is to have endured much and long.
We must trace and limn out the map of our whole nature to be sure
where it is desert, and where it is fruitful--to know the 'stony
ground,'--to discover which needeth the plough, and which doth not.
That piety, which is built on ignorance, holds up the shield where the
arrow comes not; and sleeps unmailed when the enemy is at the gate. It
dismounts to pursue the Parthian; and would dig a deep trench around
the tents of the Nomades. It is long ere we root out the weaknesses
of our nature, or know the art to preserve the virtue we have
attained. For goodness, by over earnestness, may unwittingly be
changed from its own essence, as he who knoweth not the vintage shall
make vinegar of wine. When we have stubbed up and consumed the first
growth of our sinfulness, there ariseth a second crop from the ashes
of that which was destroyed. Even as 'the flax and the barley were
smitten; for the barley was in the ear, and the flax was bolled: but
the wheat and the rye were not smitten, _for they were not grown up_;'
so will SELF-SATISFACTION arise, after worldly pride and vanity have
been withered up. Let him who has found inward peace content himself
that he is arrived at the Pillars of Hercules, beyond which there is
no safe way. That self-integrity which deems itself immaculate is
dangerous. Well hath it been said, 'Make no suppletories to thyself
when thou art disgraced or slighted, by pleasing thyself with the
supposition that thou didst deserve praise--neither do thou get
thyself a private theatre and flatterers, in whose vain noises and
fantastic praises thou mayst keep up thy good opinion of thyself.' Be
the act never so good, yet if it be performed rather with reference to
him who does than to that which is done, there is a taint in it for
which Eve is hardly answerable. It is but as a fair tower which the
builder has set on an unknown quicksand, and which the floods shall
damage or carry away. Oh! whosoever thou art that readest this, forget
not these words, but grave them as on marble, and in golden letters.
'While the altar sends up a holy flame, have a care thou dost not
suffer the birds to come and carry away the sacrifice--and let not
that which began well end in thine own praise or temporal
satisfaction, or a sin!'"
* * * * *
Until my twenty-seventh year I resided in the small cathedral town of
C----r in which I was born. My parents--especially my mother--were of
a serious cast. She had been educated as a Quaker, but following her
own notions as to religion, she in the latter part of her life became
attached to the tenets of that sect known by the name of Moravians,
and last of all to those which, when held in connection with the
ritual of the Church of England, are termed "Evangelical;" or, in
dissent from it, "Methodistical."
She was warm and fanciful in her devotional practice; for which the
belief as to the palpable and plenary influence of the Holy Spirit
upon the human mind, in which she was bred, may help to account. Of
these aspirations I, an ardent and sensitive boy, soon learned to
partake. My mind was never naturally _prone_ to vice; and my
imagination, though forward, was pure. I was brought up by my
excellent parents in the practice of virtue; and I loved it. With
an outward conduct thus guaranteeing inward persuasions--with
professions borne out by an unquestioned and pure, if not altogether
unostentatious piety of behaviour, what wonder that I soon became a
distinguished votary of the peculiar principles to which I had
attached myself. It is difficult for a young man to know himself
looked up to--be the cause what it may--without his feelings and his
conduct being affected by such homage. Nature had endowed me, if not
with eloquence, at least with considerable fluency of speech; and as
my natural diffidence--which at first was great--wore away, whether by
extempore prayer or seasonable exhortation, the effects I produced
exceeded those, the fruits of zeal, of those about me. I became
admired as one more than usually gifted, and was gradually exalted
into a leader. The occasional tendency to gloom and nervous
irritability to which my temperament inclined me, was yet only marked
enough to throw no unbecoming seriousness and gravity into the
features of so young an apostle. It was strange to see persons of all
ages and both sexes admiring at the innate seriousness of so early a
preacher, and owning the sometimes really fervid earnestness of my
appeals, my warnings, or my denunciations. I began more and more to
feel myself in a station above that of my fellows, and that I had now
a character to sustain before the eyes of men. Young as I was, could
it well have been otherwise? Let me, however, speak the truth.
Spiritual pride at last crept upon me. Devotion by insensible degrees
became tainted with self, and the image of God was, I fear, sometimes
forgotten for that of His frail and unworthy creature. True it was, I
still, without slackening, spoke comfort to the ear of suffering or
repentant sin--I still exhorted the weak and strengthened the strong.
I still warned the besotted in corruption that the fruits of vice,
blossom as she will, are but like those of the shores of the Dead Sea,
seeming gay, but only emptiness and bitter ashes. But alas! the bearer
of the blessed message spoke as if the worm that bore, could add grace
to the tidings he conveyed to his fellow-worm. I was got upon a
precipice, but knew it not--that of self-worship and conceit--the
worst creature-idolatry. It was bitterly revealed to me at last.
About the year 1790, at the Assizes for the county of which the town
of C----r is the county town, was tried and convicted a wretch guilty
of one of the most horrible murders upon record. He was a young man,
probably (for he knew not his own years) of about twenty-two years of
age--one of those wandering and unsettled creatures, who seem to be
driven from place to place, they know not why. Without home, without
name, without companion, without sympathy, without sense,--heartless,
friendless, idealess, almost soulless! and so ignorant, as not even to
seem to know whether he had ever heard of a Redeemer, or seen His
written Word. It was on a stormy Christmas eve when he begged shelter
in the hut of an old man, whose office it was to regulate the transit
of conveyances upon the road of a great mining establishment in the
neighbourhood. The old man had received him, and shared with him his
humble cheer and his humble bed; for on that night the wind blew, and
the sleet drove, after a manner that would have made it a crime to
have turned a stranger dog to the door. The next day the poor old
creature was found dead in his hut--his brains beaten out with an old
iron implement which he used, and his little furniture rifled and in
confusion. The wretch had murdered him for the supposed hoard of a few
shillings. The snow, from which he afforded his murderer shelter, had
drifted in at the door, which the miscreant, when he fled, had left
open, and was frozen red with the blood of his victim. But it betrayed
a footstep hard frozen in the snow and blood; and the nails of the
murderer's shoe were counted, even as his days were soon to be. He was
taken a few days after with a handkerchief of the old man's upon his
neck. So blind is blood-guiltiness.
Up to the hour of condemnation he remained reckless as the
wind--unrepenting as the flint--venomous as the blind worm. With that
deep and horrible cunning which is so often united to unprincipled
ignorance, he had almost involved in his fate another vagrant with
whom he had chanced to consort, and to whom he had disposed of some of
the blood-bought spoils. The circumstantial evidence was so involved
and interwoven, that the jury, after long and obvious hesitation as to
the latter, found both guilty; and the terrible sentence of death,
within forty-eight hours, was passed upon both. The culprit bore it
without much outward emotion; but when taken from the dock, his
companion, infuriated by despair and grief, found means to level a
violent blow at the head of his miserable and selfish betrayer, which
long deprived the wretch of sense and motion, and, for some time, was
thought to have anticipated the executioner. Would it had done so! But
let me do my duty as I ought--let me repress the horror which one
scene of this dreadful drama never fails to throw over my spirit--that
I may tell my story as a man--and my confession at least be clear.
When the felon awoke out of the death-like trance into which this
assault had thrown him, his hardihood was gone; and he was reconveyed
to the cell, in which he was destined agonisingly to struggle out his
last hideous and distorted hours, in a state of abject horror which
cannot be described. He who felt nothing, knew nothing, had now his
eyes opened with terrible clearness to one object--the livid phantasma
of a strangling death. All the rest was convulsive despair and
darkness. Thought shudders at it--but let me go on.
The worthy clergyman, whose particular duty it was to smooth and
soften, and, if possible, illuminate the last dark hours of the dying
wretch, was not unwilling to admit the voluntary aid of those whom
religious predispositions and natural commiseration excited to share
with him in the work of piety. The task was in truth a hard one. The
poor wretch, for the sake of the excitement which such intercourse
naturally afforded him, and which momentarily relieved his sick and
fainting spirit, groaned out half-articulate expressions of
acquiescence in the appeals that were made to him; but the relief was
physical merely. The grasp of the friendly hand made waver for a
moment the heavy shadow of death which hung upon him--and he grasped
it. The voice breathing mercy and comfort in his ear, stilled for a
second the horrid echo of doom--and he listened to it. It was as the
drowning man gasps at the bubble of air which he draws down with him
in sinking--or as a few drops of rain to him at the stake, around whom
the fire is kindled and hot. This, alas! we saw not as we ought to
have done; but when the sinking wretch, at the word "mercy," laid his
head upon our shoulder and groaned, we, sanguine in enthusiasm,
deemed it deep repentance. When his brow seemed smooth for a space at
the sound of eternal life, we thought him as "a brand snatched from
the burning." In the forward pride (for pride it was) of human
perfectibility, we took him--him the murderer--as it were under our
tutelage and protection. We prayed with him, we read to him, we
watched with him, we blessed his miserable sleeps, and met his more
wretched awakings. In the presumption of our pity, we would cleanse
that white, in the world's eye, which God had, for inscrutable
purposes, ordained should seem to the last murky as hell. We would
paint visibly upon him the outward and visible sign of sin washed
away, and mercy found. That that intended triumph may not have helped
to add or to retain one feather's weight in the balance against him,
let me humbly hope and trust. That I was a cause, and a great one, of
this unhappy delusion, let me not deny. God forgive me, if I thought
sometimes less of the soul to be saved than of him who deemed he might
be one of the humble instruments of grace. It is but too true that I
fain would have danced, like David, before the ark. Within and without
was I assailed by those snares which, made of pride, are seen in the
disguise of charity. The aspirations of my friends, the eyes of mine
enemies, the wishes of the good, and the sneers of the mistrustful,
were about me, and upon me; and I undertook to pass with the
murderer--HIS LAST NIGHT--_such_ a last!--but let me compose myself.
* * * * *
It was about the hour of ten, on a gusty and somewhat raw evening of
September, that I was locked up alone with the murderer. It was the
evening of the Sabbath. Some rain had fallen, and the sun had not been
long set without doors; but for the last hour and a half the dungeon
had been dark, and illuminated only by a single taper. The clergyman
of the prison, and some of my religious friends, had sat with us until
the hour of locking-up, when, at the suggestion of the gaoler, they
departed. I must confess their "good-night," and the sound of the
heavy door, which the gaoler locked after him when he went to
accompany them to the outer gate of the gaol, sounded heavily on my
heart. I felt a sudden shrink within me, as their steps quickly ceased
to be heard upon the stone stairs; and when the distant prison-door
was finally closed, I watched the last echo. I had for a moment
forgotten my companion. When I turned round he was sitting on the side
of his low pallet, towards the head of it, supporting his head by his
elbow against the wall, apparently in a state of half stupor. He was
motionless, excepting a sort of convulsive movement, between sprawling
and clutching of the fingers of the right hand, which was extended on
his knee. His shrunk cheeks exhibited a deadly ashen paleness, with a
slight tinge of yellow, the effect of confinement. His eyes were
glassy and sunken, and seemed in part to have lost the power of
gazing. They were turned with an unmeaning and vacant stare upon the
window, where the last red streak of day was faintly visible, which
they seemed vainly endeavouring to watch. The sense of my own
situation now recoiled strongly upon me; and the sight of the wretch
sitting stiffened in quiet agony (for it was no better), affected me
with a faint sickness. I felt that an effort was necessary, and, with
some difficulty, addressed a few cheering and consolatory phrases to
the miserable creature I had undertaken to support. My words might
not,--but I fear my _tone_ was too much in unison with his feelings,
such as they were. His answer was a few inarticulate mutterings,
between which the spasmodic twitching of his fingers became more
apparent than before. A noise at the door seemed decidedly to rouse
him; and as he turned his head with a sudden effort, I felt relieved
to see the gaoler enter. He was used to such scenes; and with an air
of commiseration, but in a tone which lacked none of the firmness with
which he habitually spoke, he asked the unhappy man some question of
his welfare, and seemed satisfied with the head-shake and
inarticulately muttered replies of the again drooping wretch, as if
they were expected, and of course. Having directed the turnkey to
place some wine and slight refreshments on the table, and to trim the
light, he told me in a whisper that my friends would be at the prison,
with the clergyman, at the hour of six; and bidding the miserable
convict and myself, after a cheering word or two, "good-night," he
departed--the door was closed--and the murderer and I were finally
left together.
It was now past the hour of ten o'clock; and it became my solemn duty
to take heed that the last few hours of the dying sinner passed not
without such comfort to his struggling soul as human help might hold
out. After reading to him some passages of the gospel, the most
apposite to his trying state, and some desultory and unconnected
conversation--for the poor creature at times seemed to be unable,
under his load of horror, to keep his ideas connected further than as
they dwelt upon his own nearing and unavoidable execution--I prevailed
upon him to join in prayer. He at this time appeared to be either so
much exhausted, or labouring under so much lassitude from fear and
want of rest, that I found it necessary to take his arm and turn him
upon his knees by the pallet-side. The hour was an awful one. No sound
was heard save an occasional ejaculation between a sigh and a
smothered groan from the wretched felon. The candle burned dimly; and
as I turned I saw, though I scarcely noticed it at the moment, a dim
insect of the moth species fluttering hurriedly round it, the sound of
whose wings mournfully filled up the pauses of myself and my
companion. When the nerves are strained to their uttermost, by such
trifling circumstances are we affected. _Here_ (thought I) there has
been no light, at such an hour, for many years; and yet here is one
whose office it seems to be to watch it! My spirit felt the necessity
of some exertion; and, with an energy for which a few minutes before I
had hardly dared to hope, I poured out my soul in prayer. I besought
mercy upon the blood-stained creature who was grovelling beside me; I
asked that repentance and peace might be vouchsafed him; I begged, for
our Redeemer's sake, that his last moments might know that untasted
rapture of sin forgiven, and a cleansed soul, which faith alone can
bring to fallen man; I conjured him to help and aid me to call upon
the name of Christ; and I bade him put off life and forget it, and to
trust in that name alone; I interceded that his latter agony might be
soothed, and that the leave-taking of body and soul might be in
quietness and peace. But he shook and shivered, and nature clung to
the miserable straw of existence which yet floated upon the wide and
dismal current of oblivion, and he groaned heavily and muttered, "No!
no! no!" as if the very idea of death was unbearable, even for a
moment; and "to die," even to him that must, were a thing impossible,
and not to be thought of or named. And as I wrestled with the
adversary that had dominion over him, he buried his shrunk and
convulsed features in the covering of his miserable pallet; while his
fingers twisted and writhed about, like so many scotched snakes, and
his low sick moans made the very dungeon darker.
When I lifted him from his kneeling position, he obeyed my movement
like a tired child, and again sat on the low pallet, in a state of
motionless and unresisting torpor. The damp sweat stood on my own
forehead, though not so cold as on his; and I poured myself out a
small portion of wine, to ward off the exhaustion which I began to
feel unusually strong upon me. I prevailed upon the poor wretch to
swallow a little with me; and, as I broke a bit of bread, I thought,
and spoke to him, of that last repast of Him who came to call sinners
to repentance; and methought his eye grew lighter than it was. The
sinking frame, exhausted and worn down by anxiety, confinement,
and the poor allowance of a felon's gaol, drew a short respite
from the cordial; and he listened to my words with something of
self-collectedness--albeit slight tremblings might still be seen to
run along his nerves at intervals; and his features collapsed, ever
and anon, into that momentary vacuity of wildness which the touch of
despair never fails to give. I endeavoured to improve the occasion. I
exhorted him, for his soul's sake, and the relief of that which needed
it too much, to make a full and unreserved confession, not only to
God, who needed it not, but to man, who did. I besought him, for the
good of all, and as he valued his soul's health, to detail the
particulars of his crime, but _his eye fell_. That dark enemy, who
takes care to leave in the heart just hope enough to keep despair
alive, tongue-tied him, and he would not--even now, at the eleventh
hour--give up the vain imagination that the case of his companion
might yet be confounded with his, to the escape of both--and vain it
was. It had not been felt advisable so far to make him acquainted with
the truth, that this had already been sifted and decided; and I judged
this to be the time. Again and again I urged confession upon him. I
put it to him that this act of justice might now be done for its own
sake, and for that of the cleansing from spot of his stained spirit. I
told him, finally, that it could no longer prejudice him in this
world, where his fate was written and sealed, for that his companion
_was reprieved_. I knew not what I did. Whether the tone of my voice,
untutored in such business, had raised a momentary hope, I know not,
but the revulsion was dreadful. He stared with a vacant look of sudden
horror--a look which those who never saw cannot conceive, and which
(the remembrance is enough) I hope never to see again--and twisting
round, rolled upon his pallet with a stifled moan that seemed tearing
him in pieces. As he lay, moaning and writhing backwards and forwards,
the convulsions of his legs, the twisting of his fingers, and the
shiverings that ran through his frame were terrible.
To attempt to rouse him seemed only to increase their violence, as if
the very sound of the human voice was, under his dreadful
circumstances, intolerable, as renewing the sense of reality to a
reason already clouding, and upon the verge of temporary delirium. He
was the picture of despair. As he turned his face to one side, I saw
that a few, but very few hot tears had been forced from his glassy and
blood-shot eyes; and in his writhings he had scratched one cheek
against his iron bedstead, the red discoloration of which contrasted
sadly with the deathly pallidness of hue which his visage now showed:
during his struggles, one shoe had come off, and lay unheeded on the
damp stone-floor. The demon was triumphant within him; and when he
groaned, the sound seemed scarcely that of a human being, so much had
horror changed it. I kneeled over him,--but in vain. He heard
nothing--he felt nothing--he knew nothing, but that extremity of
prostration to which a moment's respite would be Dives' drop of water,
and yet, in such circumstances, anything but a mercy. He could not
bear for a moment to think upon his own death--a moment's respite
would only have added new strength to the agony: he might _be_ dead,
but could not "--die;" and in the storm of my agitation and pity, I
prayed to the Almighty to relieve him at once from sufferings which
seemed too horrible even to be contemplated.
How long this tempest of despair continued, I do not know. All that I
can recall is, that after almost losing my own recollection under the
agitation of the scene, I suddenly perceived that his moans were less
loud and continuous, and that I ventured to look at him, which I had
not done for some space. Nature had become exhausted, and he was
sinking gradually into a stupor, which seemed something between sleep
and fainting. This relief did not continue long--and as soon as I saw
him begin to revive again to a sense of his situation, I made a strong
effort, and lifting him up, seated him again on the pallet, and,
pouring out a small quantity of wine, gave it him to drink, not
without a forlorn hope that even wine might be permitted to afford him
some little strength to bear what remained of his misery, and collect
his ideas for his last hour. After a long pause of returning
recollection, the poor creature got down a little of the cordial, and
as I sat by him and supported him, I began to hope that his spirits
calmed. He held the glass and sipped occasionally, and appeared in
some sort to listen, and to answer to the words of consolation I felt
collected enough to offer. At this moment the low and distant sound of
a clock was heard, distinctly striking one. The ear of despair is
quick; and as he heard it, he shuddered, and in spite of a strong
effort to suppress his emotion, the glass had nearly fallen from his
hand. A severe nervous restlessness now rapidly grew upon him, and he
eagerly drank up one or two small portions of wine, with which I
supplied him. His fate was now evidently brought one degree nearer to
him. He kept his gaze intently and unceasingly turned to the window of
the dungeon. His muttered replies were incoherent or unintelligible,
and his sunk and weakened eye strained painfully on the grated window,
as if he momentarily expected to see the first streak of the dawn of
that morning, which to him was to be night. His nervous agitation
gradually became horrible, and his motions stronger. He seemed not to
have resolution enough to rise from his seat and go to the window, and
yet to have an overpowering wish or impulse to do so. The lowest sound
startled him--but with this terrible irritation, his muscular power,
before debilitated, seemed to revive, and his action, which was
drooping and languid, became quick and angular. I began to be seized
with an undefined sense of fear and alarm. In vain I combated it; it
grew upon me; and I had almost risen from my seat to try to make
myself heard, and obtain, if possible, assistance. The loneliness of
the gaol, however, rendered this, even if attempted, almost
desperate--the sense of duty, the dread of ridicule, came across me,
and chained me to my seat by the miserable criminal, whose state was
becoming every minute more dreadful and extraordinary.
* * * * *
Let us not scorn or distrust our obscurest misgivings, for we are
strangely constituted; and though the evidence for such conclusions
often be in a manner unknown to ourselves, they are not the less
veritable and just. Exhausted by the wearing excitement and anxiety of
my situation, I had for a moment sunk into that confused absence of
mind with which those who have been in similar circumstances cannot be
unacquainted, when my miserable companion, with a convulsive shudder,
grasped my arm suddenly. I was for a few seconds unaware of the cause
of this emotion and movement, when a low indistinct sound caught my
ear. It was the rumbling of a cart, mingled with two or three
suppressed voices; and the cart appeared to be leaving the gate of the
dismal building in which we were. It rolled slowly and heavily as if
cumbrously laden, under the paved gateway; and after a few minutes,
all was silent. The agonised wretch understood its import better than
I did. A gust of the wildest despair came suddenly over him. He
clutched with his hands whatever met his grasp. His knees worked. His
frame became agitated with one continued movement, swaying backwards
and forwards, almost to falling, and his inarticulate complaints
became terrific. I attempted to steady him by an exertion of strength;
I spoke kindly to him, but he writhed in my grasp like an adder, and
as an adder was deaf--grief and fear had horrible possession: myself
almost in a state of desperation--for the sight was pitiful. I at last
endeavoured to awe him into a momentary quiescence, and strongly bade
him at last to _die like a man_; but the word "Death" had to him only
the effect it may be supposed to have upon a mere animal nature and
understanding: how could it have any other? He tried to bear it, and
could not, and uttering a stifled noise, between a yell and a moan, he
grasped his own neck: his face assumed a dark-red colour, and he fell
into a state of stifled convulsion.
* * * * *
When despair had wrought with him, I lifted him with difficulty from
the floor on which he had fallen. His relaxed features had the hue of
death, and his parched lips, from a livid blue, became of an ashy
whiteness. In appearance he was dying; and in the agitation of the
moment I poured a considerable portion of the wine which had been
left with us into a glass, and, after wetting his temples, held it
to his lips. He made an effort to swallow, and again revived to
consciousness; and holding the vessel firmly in his hands, got down
with difficulty and at intervals the entire draught. When he found it
totally exhausted, the glass fell from his hands; but he seized and
held one of mine with a grasp so firm and iron-like that the contrast
startled me. He seemed to be involved in a confused whirl of
sensations. He stared round the cell with a wildness of purpose that
was appalling; and after a time I began to see, with deep remorse,
that the wine I had unguardedly given was, as is always the case,
adding keenness to his agony and strength to his despair. He half rose
once or twice and listened; all was silent--when, after the pause of a
minute or two, a sudden fit of desperation seemed to seize upon him.
He rushed to the window, and hurriedly surveying the grates, wrenched
at them with a strength demoniac and superhuman, till the iron bars
shook in their imbedments.
From this period my recollections are vague and indistinct. I remember
strongly remonstrating with the poor creature, and being pushed away
by hands which were now bleeding profusely with the intense efforts of
his awful delirium. I remember attempting to stop him, and hanging
upon him, until the insane wretch clutched me by the throat, and a
struggle ensued, during which I suppose I must at length have fainted
or become insensible; for the contest was long, and, while
consciousness remained, terrible and appalling. My fainting, I
presume, saved my life, for the felon was in that state of maniacal
desperation which nothing but a perfect unresistingness could have
evaded.
After this, the first sensation I can recall is that of awakening out
of that state of stupor into which exhaustion and agitation had thrown
me. Shall I ever forget it? The anxiety of some of my friends had
brought them early to the gaol; and the unusual noises which had been
heard by some of its miserable inmates occasioned, I believe, the door
of the cell in which we were to be unlocked before the intended hour.
Keenly do I recollect the struggling again into painful consciousness,
the sudden sense of cheering daylight, the sound of friendly voices,
the changed room, and the strange looks of all around me. The passage
was terrible to me; but I had yet more to undergo. I was recovered
just in time to witness the poor wretch, whose prop and consolation I
had undertaken to be, carried, exhausted and in nerveless horror, to
the ignominious tree--his head drooping on his breast, his eyes
opening mechanically at intervals, and only kept from fainting and
utter insensibility by the unused and fresh morning air, which
breathed in his face as if in cruel mockery. I looked once, but looked
no more.--Let me hasten to conclude. I was ill for many weeks, and
after recovering from a nervous fever, was ordered by my physicians
into the country. This was the first blessing and relief I
experienced, for the idea of society was now terrible to me. I was
secluded for many months. Time, however, who ameliorates all things,
at length softened and wore away the sharper parts of these
impressions, but to this hour I dare not dwell upon the events of that
awful night. If I dream of them, although the horrors fall far short
of the appalling reality, yet for the next sun I am discomposed, and
can only seek for rest from that Almighty Power, who, in his
inscrutable providence, thought fit I should read a lesson so hideous,
but--so salutary.--Reader, farewell.
NARRATION OF CERTAIN UNCOMMON THINGS THAT DID FORMERLY HAPPEN TO ME,
HERBERT WILLIS, B.D.
[_MAGA._ JUNE 1844.]
It had pleased Heaven in the year 1672, when I had finished my studies
in Magdalen College, Oxford, whereof I was a Demy, and had taken my
degree of bachelor of arts in the preceding term, to visit me with so
severe an affliction of fever, which many took at first for the
commencement of the small-pox, that I was recommended by the
physicians, when the malady had abated, to return to my father's house
and recover my strength by diet and exercise. This I was fain to do;
and having hired a small horse of Master John Nayler in the
corn-market, to take me as far as to the mansion of a gentleman, an
ancient friend of my father's, who had a house near unto Reading in
Berkshire, and in those troubled times, when no man knew whereunto
things might turn from day to day, did keep himself much retired,--I
bade adieu to the university with a light heart but a weakened habit
of body, and turned my horse's head to the south. I performed the
journey without accident in one day; but the exertion thereof had so
exhausted my strength, that Mr Waller (which was the name of my
father's friend, and of kin to the famous poet, Edmund Waller,
Esquire, who hath been ever in such favour with our governors and
kings), perceiving I was nigh discomfited, did press me to go to my
chamber without delay. He was otherwise very gracious in his reception
of me, and professed great amity to me, as being the son of his fast
friend and companion; but yet I marked, as it were, a cloud that lay
obscure behind his external professions, as if he was uneasy in his
mind, and was not altogether pleased with having a stranger within his
gates. Howbeit I thanked him very heartily for his hospitality, and
betook myself to the chamber that was assigned for my repose. It was a
pretty, small room, whereof I greatly admired the fashion; and the
furnishing thereof was extreme gay, for the bed hangings were of
bright crimson silk, and on a table was placed a mirror of true
Venetian glass. Also, there were chests of mahogany wood, and other
luxurious devices, which my weariness did not hinder me from
observing; but finally I was overcome by my weakness, and I threw
myself on the bed without removing my apparel, and sustained, as I
believe, though I have no certain warranty thereof, an access of
deliquium or fainting. When I did recover my senses after this
interval of suspended faculty (whether proceeding from sleep or the
other cause above designated), I lay for many minutes revolving
various circumstances in my mind. I resolved, if by any means my
bodily powers were thereunto sufficient, to depart on the morrow, and
borrow one of Mr Waller's horses to convey me on my way, for I was
uneasy to be thought an intruder; but when I had settled upon this in
my mind, a new incident occurred which altered the current of my
thoughts, for I perceived a slight noise at the door of my chamber as
of one stealthily turning the handle, and I lay, without making any
motion, to watch whereunto this proceeding would tend. The door was
put gently open, and a figure did enter the room, so disguised with
fantastical apparel that I was much put to it to guess what the issue
would be. It was of a woman, tall and majestical, with a red turbaund
round her head, and over her shoulders a shawl much bedizened with
needlework. Her gown was of green cloth, and I was made aware by the
sound, as she passed along the floor, that the heels of her shoes were
more than commonly high. With this apparition, of which I took only a
very rapid observation through my half-closed eyelids, I was greatly
astonished; for she was an exact resemblance to those bold Egyptian
queans who were at first called Bohemians, but are nothing better
than thieves and vagabonds, if indeed they be not the chosen people of
the prince of darkness himself. She looked carefully all round the
room, and after opening one of the drawers of mahogany wood, and
taking something therefrom which I could not discern, she approached
to the side of my bed, and looked earnestly upon me as I lay. I could
not keep up the delusion any longer, and opened my eyes. She continued
gazing steadfastly upon me without alteration of her countenance or
uttering any word, whether of apology or explanation; and I was so
held in by the lustre of her large eyes, and the fixed rigidity of her
features, that for some time I was unable to give utterance to my
thoughts.
"Woman," I said at last, "what want you with me?"
"Your help, if you will be gracious to poor mourners such as we."
I interrogated her much and curiously as to what service she required
at my hands; for I had a scrupulosity to promise anything to one whose
external made me think her a disciple of Mahomet, as those gypsies are
said to be. After much hesitating, she could not conceal from me that
she was in this disguise for some special and extraordinary purpose;
nevertheless, she condescended on no particulars of her state or
condition; but when I finally promised to satisfy her demand, if it
might be done by a Christian gentleman, and a poor candidate for the
holy ministry, she cautioned me not to be startled by whatever I
should see, and beckoned me to follow her--the which I did in no easy
frame of mind. Opening a little door which I had not seen when I took
observation of the apartment, she disappeared down two or three steps,
where I pursued the slight sound of her footfall; for there was great
darkness, so that I could see nothing. We went, as I conjectured,
through several passages of some length, till finally she paused, and
knocked very gently three times at a door. The door was speedily
opened; and in answer to a question of my guide, whether godly Mr Lees
was yet arrived, a voice answered that he was there, and expecting us
with impatience. When I passed through the door, I found myself in a
small chamber, dimly lighted by one small lamp, which was placed upon
a table by the side of a bed; and when I looked more fixedly, I
thought I perceived the figure of a person stretched on the bed, but
lying so fixed and still that I marvelled whether it was alive or
dead. At the foot of the bed stood a venerable old man, in the dress
of a clergyman of our holy church, with a book open in his hand; and
my strange guide led me up to where he was standing, and whispered to
him, but so that I could hear her words, "This gentleman hath promised
to assist us in this matter."
But hereupon I interposed with a few words to the same reverend
divine. "Sir," I said, "I would be informed wherefore I am summoned
hither, and in what my assistance is needful?"
"He hath not then been previously informed?" he said to the Egyptian;
and receiving some sign of negation from her, he closed the book, and
leading me apart into a corner of the apartment, discovered the matter
in a very pious and edifying manner.
"It is to be godfather in the holy rite of baptism, to one whom it is
our duty, as Christian men, to rescue from the dangerous condition of
worse than unregenerate heathenism."
"The child of that Egyptian woman?" I asked; but he said, "No. She who
is now disguised in that attire is no Egyptian, but a true Samaritan,
who hath been the means of working much good in the evil times past,
and is likely to be a useful instrument in the troubled times yet to
come. If this dissolute court, and Popish heir-presumptive, do proceed
in their attempts to overthrow our pure Reformed church, depend on it,
young man, that that woman will not be found wanting in the hour of
trial. But for the matter in hand, will you be godfather to the person
now to be received into the ark?"
I told him I could not burden my conscience with so great and
important duties, without some assurance that I should be able to
fulfil them. Whereto he replied, that such scrupulosities, however
praiseworthy in calmer times, ought now to yield to the paramount
consideration of saving a soul alive.
A faint voice, proceeding from the bed, was here heard mournfully
asking if the ceremony was now to begin, for death was near at hand.
I went up to the bed and saw the face of a pale dying woman, whose
eyes, albeit they encountered mine, had no sense of sight in them, for
the shadows of the Great King were already settled upon her
countenance. "Begin then," I said to the clergyman; and on a motion
from him, the woman who had conducted me went out, and shortly
returned, leading by the hand a child of two, or haply three years of
age, exceeding beautiful to look on, and dressed in the same style of
outlandish apparel as her conductor. I had little time to look
attentively at her, for her hand was put into mine, while the other
was held by the Egyptian (as I still call her, notwithstanding I knew
she was a devout woman), and another person, whom I guessed to be an
attendant on the sick lady, stationed herself near; whereupon the
clergyman commenced from our book of common prayer the form of
baptism. The lady seemed to acquire strength at the sound of his low
solemn voice, and half raised herself in the bed, and looked anxiously
towards where we were; when the name was given, which was Lucy
Hesseltine, she stretched herself back on her pillow with a faint
smile. The ceremony was soon over, and the Egyptian took the new
Christian to the side of the bed, and whispered in the lady's ear,
"Jessica, the child is now one of the Christian flock; she prays your
blessing." She waited for an answer, during which time the clergyman
took me apart, and had again entered into discourse. But the Egyptian
came to us. "Hush!" she said, "the ways of God are inscrutable; our
friend is gone to her account." Hereupon she hurried me through the
same passages by which we had come, and bidding me God-speed at the
hidden door of my chamber, told me to keep what I had seen a secret
from all men, yea, if possible, to forget it myself, as there might be
danger in having it spread abroad.
Tormented with many thoughts, and uneasy at the great risk I ran of
bringing guilt on my own soul by having made sponsorial promises which
I could not execute, I rested but indifferently that night. The next
day I pursued my journey home in the manner I had proposed, and was
glad to avoid the chance of being interrogated by Mr Waller as to what
had occurred. In a short time my good constitution and home restored
me to my former strength, and the memory of that strange incident grew
more faint as other things came to pass which made deeper impressions
on my heart and mind. Among these is not to be forgotten the death of
my father, which happened on the 14th of June in the following year,
_videlicet_ 1673; and the goodness of the lord bishop of Oxford in
giving me priests' orders on my college Demyship, whereby I was
enabled to present myself to this living, and hold it, having at that
time attained the canonical age. My courtship also and marriage, which
befell in the year 1674, had great effect in obliterating past
transactions. I was married on Thursday, the 24th day of June.
* * * * *
(Here several pages are omitted as irrelevant, containing family
incidents for some years.)
Howbeit things did not prosper with us so much as we did expect; for
the payers of tithes were a stiff-necked generation, as were the Jews
of old, and withheld their offerings from the priest at the very time
when Providence sent a plentiful supply of mouths to which the
offerings would have been of use. Charles was our only son, and was
now in his third year--the two girls, Henrietta and Sophia, were six
and seven--my eldest girl was nine years past, and I had named her, in
commemoration of my father's ancient friend, by the prenomen of
Waller. It hath been remarked by many wise men of old, and also by our
present good bishop, that industry and honesty are the two Herculeses
that will push the heaviest waggon through the mire, and more
particularly so, if the waggoner aids also by putting his shoulder to
the wheel. And easy was it to see, that the wheel of the domestic
plaustrum--wherein, after the manner of the ancient Parthians, I
included all my family, from the full beauty of my excellent wife to
the sun-lighted hair of my prattling little Charles (the which reminds
me of those beautiful lines which are contained in a translation of
the _Iliad_ of Homer by Mr Hobbes, descriptive of the young Astyanax
in his mother Andromache's arm--
"And like a star upon her bosom lay
His beautiful and shining golden head")--
It was easy, I say, to see that, with such an additional number of
passengers, the domestic plaustrum would sink deeper and deeper in the
miry ways of the world. And consultations many and long did my
excellent wife and I hold over the darkening prospect of our future
life. At last she bethought her of going to take counsel of her near
friend and most kind godfather, Mr William Snowton of Wilts, which was
a managing man for many of the nobility, and much renowned for probity
and skilful discernment. He was steward on many great estates, and
gave plentiful satisfaction to his employers, without neglecting his
own interest, which is a thing that does always go with the other,
namely, a care for your master's affairs; for how shall a man pretend
to devote his time and services to another man's estate, and take no
heed for himself? The thing is contra the nature of man, and the
assertion thereof is fit only for false patriots and other evil men.
It was with much weariness of heart and anxious tribulation that I
parted from that excellent woman, even for so short a period of time;
but Master George Sprowles of this parish having it in mind to travel
into the village where the said Mr William Snowton kept his abode, I
availed myself of his friendly offer to conduct my wife thither upon a
pillion; and thereupon having sent forward her luggage two days before
by a heavy waggon which journeyeth through Sarum, I took leave of the
excellent woman, commending her heartily unto the care of Providence
and Master George, which (Providence I mean) will not let a sparrow
fall to the ground, much less the mother of a family, which moreover
was riding on a strong sure-footed horse, which also was bred in our
parish, and did sometimes pasture on the glebe. It was the first time
we had been separated since our wedding-day. I took little Charles
into my room that night, and did carefully survey the other children
before I went to rest. They did all sleep soundly, and some indeed did
wear a smile upon their innocent faces as I looked upon them, and I
thought it was, perhaps, the reflection of the prayers which their
mother, I well knew, was pouring out for them at that hour. That was
on a Tuesday, and as the distance was nearly sixty miles, I could not
hear of her safe arrival till the return of Master George, which could
not be till the following Monday; for he was a devout man, and had
imbibed his father's likings in his youth, which was a champion for
the late Man, and would rather have done a murder on a Thursday than
have travelled on the Sabbath-day. "Better break heads," he was used
to say, "than break the Sabbath." I did always find him--the father I
mean--a sour hand at a bargain; and when he was used to drive me hard
upon his tithes and agistments, I could fancy he took me for one of
the Amalekites, or one of the Egyptians, whom he thought it a
meritorious Christian deed to spoil. The Monday came at last, and
Master George Sprowles, before he rode to his own home, trotted his
horse up our church avenue, and delivered into my hands a packet of
writing carefully sealed with a seal, whereof the device was a
true-love knot. Great was my delight and great my anxiety to read what
was written therein, and all that evening I pored over the manuscript,
on which she had bestowed great pains, and crossed all the _t_'s
without missing one. But it is never an easy task to decipher a
woman's meaning, particularly when not addicted to penmanship; and
although my excellent wife had attended a penman's instructions, and
had acquired the reputation, in her native place, of being an
accomplished clerk, still, since her marriage, she had applied her
genius to the making of tarts and other confections, rather than to
the parts of scholarship, and it was difficult for me to make out the
significance of her epistle in its whole extent. Howbeit, it was a
wonderful effort of calligraphy, considering she had only had two days
wherein to compose and write it, and she had been so little used to
this manner of communication, and it consisted of three whole sides of
a large sheet of paper. She said therein that Mr Snowton was a father
unto her in his affection and urbanity, and that he highly approved
the motion for us to make provision of the meat that perishes, seeing
it is indispensable for young children and also for adults; and that
he had already bethought him of a way wherein he might be serviceable
to us--viz. in procuring for me certain youth of the upper kinds, to
be by me instructed in the learned tongues, and such other branches as
I had proficiency in; and, in addition thereto, he said, that
peradventure he might obtain a similar charge for my excellent wife in
superintending the perfectionment of certain young ladies of his
acquaintance in samplers, and millinery, and cookery, and such other
of the fine and useful arts as she was known to excel in; and he
subjoined thereto, that the charges for each pupil would be so large,
being only those of consideration which he recommended unto me, that
a few years would be sufficient wherein to consolidate portions for
all my children. Such, with some misgivings touching my own
interpretation, did I make out to be the substance of my excellent
wife's letter; and I rejoiced greatly that such an opening was made
for me, by the which I might attain to such eminence of estate that I
might place my Charles in the first ranks of the law, yea, might live
to see him raised to the fullness of temporal grandeur, and sitting,
as Lord High Keeper, among the peers and princes of the land, with a
crown of pure gold upon his head. But there was no crown but a
heavenly one, that fadeth not nor groweth dim, that could have added a
fresh beauty to the fair head of my Charles. But the sweetest part of
her missive was contained in the _post scriptum_. Therein she said,
and in this I could not be wrong, that Mr Snowton had undertaken to
forward her in his light wheeled cart, by reason of the conveniency it
would be of to her in the transportation of herself and luggage, and
also of Miss Alice Snowton, of Mr Snowton's kindred, a young lady
which he had adopted (being the only child of his only brother, Mr
Richard Snowton, deceased), and advised my wife to accept the care of
her as a beginning, and for the charges of the same he would be
answerable for fifty golden Caroluses at Ladyday and Michaelmas. A
hundred Caroluses each year! My heart bounded with joy. Great were my
preparations for the reception of my new inmate, and busy were we all
from my busy Waller down to Charles. He with much riotousness did
superintend all, and rejoiced greatly at the noise caused by the
hammering, and taking down and putting up of bed-hangings, and did in
no slight measure add thereto by strange outbreaks of riotous mirth,
such as whooping and screaming; causing confusion, at the same time,
by various demonstrations of his enjoyments, such as throwing nails
against the windows, beating on the floor with the poker, and
occasionally interrupting our operations by tumbling down stairs, and
causing us for a moment to believe him killed outright, or at least
maimed for life. But there is a special providence over happy
children; and save that he fell on one occasion into the bucket of
soap and water, wherewith a domestic was scouring the chintz room
floor, and suffered some inconvenience from the hotness thereof, he
escaped in a manner truly miraculous from any accident affecting life
or limb. When the time drew near in the which I expected the return of
my excellent wife, I took all the children to the upper part of the
church field which faces the high-road, upon which the large stones
have recently been laid down in the manner of a causeway, but which,
at that period, was left to the natural hardness, or rather softness,
of the soil, and was, in consequence thereof, dangerous to travel on
by reason of the ruts and hollows; to that portion, I say, of the
church field I conveyed all my little ones, to give the gratulations
necessary on such an occasion to their excellent mother. The spot
whereon we were stationed commanded a view of the hill which
superimpends our village, and we were therefore gratified to think
that we should have an early view of the expected travellers; and many
quarrels and soft reconcilements did take place between my younger
ones, upon the point of who would be the first to see their approach.
In the midst of these sweet contentions, whilst I was in the
undignified and scarcely clerical act of carrying little Charles upon
my shoulder, having decorated his head with my broad-brimmed hat, in
order to enable him--vain imagination, which pleased the boy's
heart--to see over and beyond the hill, there did pass, in all her
wonted state and dignity, with two outriders in the Mallerden livery,
two palfreniers at her side, and four mounted serving-men behind, the
ancient Lady Mallerden, which was so famous an upholder of our
venerated church in the evil days through which it so happily passed;
and with no little perturbation of mind, and great confusion of face,
did I see the look of astonishment, not to say disdain, with which she
regarded my position; more particularly as little Charles, elevated,
as I have said, upon my shoulders, with his legs on each side of my
neck, did lift up the professional hat, which did entirely absorb his
countenance, with great courtesy, and made a most grave and
ceremonious obeisance unto the lofty lady. She pursued her path,
returning the salutation with a kind of smile, and at the same easy
ambling pace as was her wont, proceeded up the hill. Just as she
reached the summit thereof our eyes were gladdened with the sight, so
long desired, of the light equipage on two wheels of the kind Mr
Snowton, containing my excellent wife and her young charge, and also
various boxes of uncommon size, in which were laid great store of
bodily adornment for both the ladies; as was more fully seen
thereafter, on the opening of the boxes, by reason of Mr Snowton
having privily conveyed into them various changes of apparel for the
use of my excellent wife, as also for each of the three girls. To
Charles he also sent the image of an ass, which, by touching a certain
string, did open its mouth and wave its ears in a manner most curious
to behold, wherewith the infant was infinitely delighted, as was I,
without inquiring at that time into the exquisite mechanism whereby
the extraordinary demonstrations were produced. But in the course of
little more than a month he was led, by his inquiring turn of mind, to
pry into the mystery; and in the pursuit of knowledge--laudable surely
in a person of his years, and demonstrative of astonishing sagacity
and research--he did take the animal entirely to pieces, and saw the
inward parts thereof. The great lady, with all the retinue, stopped
short as she encountered with my excellent wife at the top of the
hill, and did most courteously make tender inquiries of her state of
health, and also of her plans--whereof she seemed some little
instructed--and expressed her satisfaction therein, and did make many
sweet speeches to her, and also to the pupil, and trusted that she
would be good and dutiful, and an earnest and affectionate daughter of
the Church of England. To all which my excellent wife replied in
fitting terms, and Alice Snowton--so was she named--made promise so to
do, God being her helper and I her teacher; and thereupon the great
lady bended her head with smiles, and rode on. When they got down to
where we stood in the church field, the flush of modesty, and perhaps
of pride, at being spoken to in such friendly guise by the haughty
Lady Mallerden, had not yet left the cheek of my excellent wife, upon
which I impressed a kiss of true love, and held up little Charles as
high as I could, to enable him to do likewise, which he did, with a
pretty set speech which I had taught him, in gratulation of her
return. Alice Snowton also did blush, and held out her cheek, whereon
I pressed my lip, with fervent prayers for her advance in holiness and
virtue, and also in useful learning, under my excellent wife's
instructions. She was a short girl, not much taller than my Waller,
though she seemed to be three or even four years more advanced in age.
She was a sweet engaging child of thirteen, and I loved her as one of
my flock from the moment I saw her, as in duty bound. My children were
divided between joy at seeing their excellent mother, and wonder at
the stranger. But a short period wore off both these sentiments of the
human mind, or rather the outward manifestation of them; and I will
venture to assert that the quietude of night, and the clearness of the
starry heavens, fell on no happier household on that evening than the
parsonage of Welding. And next day it was the same; and next, and
next, and a great succession of happy, useful days. Alice was a dear
girl, and we loved her as our own; and she loved Charles above all,
and was his friend, his nurse, his playfellow. Their gambols were
beautiful to behold; and, to complete the good work which was so well
begun, good Mr Snowton did send to my care, at the same remuneration,
two young gentlemen of tender years, Master Walter Mannering and
Master John Carey--the elder of them being eight and the other seven;
and, as if fortune never tired of raining down on us her golden
favours, the great Lady Mallerden herself did use her interest on my
behalf, and obtained for me the charge of a relative of her noble
house--the honourable Master Fitzoswald, of illustrious lineage in the
north, of the age of nine years. But doubtless, as the philosopher
has remarked, there is no sweet without its bitter, or, as the poet
has said, "no rose without its thorn," or, better perhaps, as another
great poet of antiquity has clothed the sentiment--
----"Medio de fonte leporum
Surgit amari aliquid;"
for it was made an express stipulation of the latter office--namely,
the charge of the honourable young gentleman, being the second son of
the noble Earl Fitzoswald, in Yorkshire--that the great Lady Mallerden
should have joint superintendence of his studies with me, and the
direction of his conduct, and also his religious education. And this
was a sore drawback to the pleasure I experienced, for I knew her to
be proud and haughty beyond most women, or even men; and also that she
was of so active and inquisitive a turn of mind, that she would
endeavour to obtain all power and authority unto herself, whereto I
determined by no means to submit. Two hundred golden guineas was the
_honorarium_ per annum for his education; and my excellent wife, who
was addicted, like the most of her sex, to dreams and omens, did very
often have a vision in the night, of the Right Hon. the Earl
Fitzoswald presenting me to a great office in the church--yea, even a
seat among the right reverend the lord bishops of the Upper House of
Parliament. Nor were portents and auguries wanting, such as
this--which made an uncommon impression on my excellent wife's
mind--_videlicet_, it chanced that Alice Snowton did make a hat of
paper, to be placed on Charles's head when he was more than usually
naughty, to be called the fool's-cap out of derision; but this same
paper hat, which was of a fantastic shape, being conical and high, the
boy with scissors did dexterously mutilate and nearly destroy, and,
coming quietly behind me when I was meditating the future with my
excellent wife, he placed it on my head; and, to all our eyes, there
was no mistaking the shape into which, fortuitously, and with no view
or knowledge of such emblems, he had cut the paper-cap. It was
evidently a mitre, and nothing else! But this, and various other
concurring incidents, I pass over, having frequently rebuked my
excellent wife for thinking more highly of such matters than she ought
to think.
The course pursued in our studies was the following, which I
particularly write down, having had great experience in that sort, and
considering it may be useful, if perchance this account should fall
into the hands of any who follow the honourable and noble calling of
educating the rising generation. The _Colloquies_ of Corderius, as
also the _Fables_ of Æsopus, with those also of Phædrus his Roman
continuator....
* * * * *
(Many pages are here omitted as irrelevant.)
... And my excellent wife, after much entreaty, consented thereto.
Accordingly, on the very next Sunday, the great Lady Mallerden
attended at my house after church, and did closely question, not only
the young gentlemen on the principles of their faith, but also Alice
Snowton, and did, above all, clearly and emphatically point out to
them the iniquities of the great Popish delusion; and exhorted them,
whatever might be their future fate or condition, to hold fast by the
pure Reformed church. And so much did my eldest daughter, who was now
a great tall girl of twelve years of age, win upon the heart of the
great lady, that she invited her to come up for several days and
reside with her at Mallerden Court, which was a great honour to my
daughter, invitations not being extended to any to enter that noble
mansion under the degree of nobility. Nor did her beneficence end
here; for she did ask Alice Snowton, who was now a fine young woman of
fifteen or thereby, to be her guest at the same time. Alice was not so
stout in proportion to her years as my Waller; but there was a certain
gracefulness about her when she moved, and a sweet smile when she
spoke, which was very gainful on the affections, as Charles could
testify; for he loved her, and made no secret thereof, better than any
of his sisters, and also, I really and unfeignedly believe, better
than that excellent woman his mother. And so great was the impression
made on the great lady by my Waller's cleverness and excellent manner
of conducting herself, that, on her return at the end of three days, a
letter, in the noble lady's own hand, bore testimony to her
satisfaction, and a request, or rather a command, was laid on me to
send her, under charge, as she expressed it, of Alice Snowton, to the
Court for a longer period the following week. And such was the mutual
happiness of the noble lady, and of that young girl (my Waller, I
mean), who could now write a beautiful flowing hand, and spell with
uncommon accuracy and expedition, that erelong it was an arranged
thing, that three days in each week were spent by the two children at
Mallerden Court; and a horse at last, on every Wednesday, was in
waiting to convey them, on a double pillion, to the stately mansion.
I have not alluded to the state of public affairs, of which I was far
from cognisant, saving that the writhings and strugglings which this
tortured realm did make, shook also the little parsonage of Welding.
We heard, at remote intervals of time, rumours of dangers and
difficulties hanging over this church and nation; but were little
alarmed thereat, putting faith in the bill of exclusion, and the
honour of our most gracious and religious lord the king. Nor did I
anticipate great harm even if the Duke of York, in the absence of
lawful posterity of his brother, should get upon the throne, trusting
in the truth of his royal word, and the manifold declarations of
favour and amicableness to the church, which he from time to time put
forth. But Æsopus hath it, when bulls fight in a marsh the frogs are
crushed to death. It was on the tenth day of February, in the year of
our Lord 1685, I was busy with my dear friends, the youths under my
charge, in the Campus Martius (which was a level space of ground in
one of the glebe fields by the side of the river, whereon we performed
our exercises of running, jumping, wrestling, and other athletic
exercitations), when we were startled by the hearing the sound of many
horses galloping up the hill above the village; and looking over the
hedge on to the road, we saw a cavalier going very fast on a fine
black horse, which had fire in its eyes and nostrils, as the poet
says, followed by a goodly train of serving-men, all well mounted, and
proceeding at the same rate. We went on with our games for an hour or
two, when all at once I was peremptorily sent for to go to my house
without delay; and accordingly I hurried homewards, much marvelling
what the summons could portend. I went into my study, and sitting in
my arm-chair I saw the great Lady Mallerden; but she was so deep in
thought, that for some minutes she kept me standing, and waiting her
commands. At last she started to herself, and ordered me to be seated,
and in her rapid glancing manner began to speak--
"I have been visited by my son, who rode post haste from London to
tell me the king was dead. He has been dead four days."