"Which is why I remark,
And my language is plain,
That for ways that are dark,
And for tricks that are vain,
The heathen Chinee is peculiar."
BRET HARTE.
Alister did more than pick pink-pale oleanders by the dyke side that
morning. His business with the captain was soon despatched, and in the
course of it he "fore-gathered," as he called it, with the man of
business who had spoken to us on the night of the great fire, and whose
own warehouse was in ruins. He proved to be a Scotchman by birth, and a
man of energy (not a common quality in the tropics), and he was already
busy about retrieving his fortune. The hasty repair of part of the
building, in which to secure some salvage, and other similar matters,
was his first object; and he complained bitterly of the difficulty of
inducing any of the coloured gentlemen to do a "fair day's work for a
fair day's wage," except when immediate need pressed them. They would
then work, he said, but they would not go on working till the job was
done, only till they had earned enough wages to take another idle
"spell" upon.
Several Chinamen were already busy among the ruins of the burnt houses,
as we saw, and it was Chinese labour that Alister's friend had resolved
to employ; but he seemed to think that, though industrious, those
smiling, smooth-faced individuals, who looked as if they had come to
life off one of my mother's old tea-cups, were not to be trusted alone
among the salvage.
"Every thief among 'em 's as good as a conjurer," he declared, "and can
conceal just anything up his sleeve."
Thus it came about that when Dennis and I went down to the stelling to
meet Alister, as we had agreed, and delivered the messages of
hospitality with which the young engineer and Dennis's cousin had
charged us, we found that he had made an engagement to help the
burnt-out store-owner for such time as we should be out of seamen's
work, on terms which were to include his board and lodging.
"Alister, dear! I admire ye with all me heart," said Dennis impetuously.
"I never saw such an industrious, persevering fellow. If all Scotch
lads take the tide of life at the flood as you do, small blame to ye for
making your fortunes; and well ye deserve it."
"There's not a doubt about it," replied Alister complacently. "And I'll
tell ye more. Find me arty grand work, if it's at the other end of the
airth, whether it's digging a dyke in the desert, or bigging a mountain
up to the moon, and I'll find ye an Aberdeenshire man not far from the
head of it."
Dennis's face seemed to twitch with a dozen quick thoughts and smiles,
as Alister turned away to meet his new employer, who had just appeared
on the stelling.
"They have wonderful qualities," he said gently. "I envy them, I can
tell ye, Jack. What's an idle lout like me good for? Will I ever be able
to make a home for myself, or for any one else? _They do!_" He spoke
earnestly, and then suddenly relapsing into an imitation of Alister's
accent, which was his latest joke, he added with twinkling eyes, "and
they save a _wee_ in wages to their _ain_ trumpeters--_whiles!_"
And having drawled out the word "whiles" to the uttermost possible
length, he suddenly began to snap his fingers and dance an Irish jig
upon the wooden planks of the stelling. This performance completely
demoralized the Chinamen who caught sight of it. "Eyah!" they cried,
they stopped work, they chuckled, they yelled; they doubled themselves
up, some of their pig-tails came down, and one and all they laughed so
frankly and immoderately, it was hard to believe that anything like
deception could be amongst the faults of these almond-eyed children of
the Flowery-Land.
Mr. Macdonald (the store-owner) seemed, however, to think that they
required pretty close watching, and I do not think he would have been
willing to let Alister go back with us to luncheon at Willie's, but for
his appreciation of social rank. It was obvious that it did Alister no
harm that he had a friend in an officer of her Majesty's Service, and a
comrade in the nephew of a sugar-planter of the uppermost level of
Demerara society.
We three held a fresh council as we sat with the young engineer. He and
Alister got on admirably, and he threw himself into our affairs with
wonderful kindness. One point he disposed of at once, and that was _my_
fate! There could be no question, he said, that my duty was to get back
to Halifax, "report myself" to Uncle Henry's agent there, and then go
home.
"You're ruthlessly dismembering the Shamrock, Willie," Dennis objected.
"I don't see that. _You're_ not to stay here, for instance."
"You're mighty positive," said Dennis, blushing.
"Of course I am. I wouldn't encourage you to waste sentiment anyhow; and
the West Indies is no latitude for boys, to go on with. And you know as
well as I do, that it's rather more than time the squire started you in
life. You must go home, Dennis!"
"If I do, I go with Jack. And what about Alister?"
The young officer tugged his moustaches right and left. Then he said,
"If I were exactly in your place, Auchterlay--"
"Well, sir?" said Alister, for he had hesitated.
--"I should--enlist in the Royal Engineers."
"Nothing like gunpowder," whispered Dennis to me. I kicked him in
return.
The pros and cons of the matter were not lengthy. If Alister enlisted in
any regiment, the two advantages of good behaviour and good education
would tell towards his advancement more rapidly and more certainly than
perhaps in any other line of life. If he enlisted into a scientific
corps, the chance of being almost immediately employed as a clerk was
good, very much of the work would be interesting to an educated and
practical man; the "marching, pipe-claying and starching," of which
Dennis sang, was a secondary part of "R.E." duties at any time, and
there were special opportunities of employment in foreign countries for
superior men. Alister was not at all likely to remain long a private,
and it was quite "on the cards" that he might get a commission while he
was still young. So much for "peace time." But if--in the event of--and
supposing (here the young engineer made a rapid diversion into the
politics of the day) there was a chance of "active service"--the Royal
Engineers not only offered far more than drill and barrack duties in
time of peace, but no branch of the army gave nobler opportunities for
distinguished service in time of war. At this point he spoke with such
obvious relish, that I saw Dennis was ready to take the Queen's Shilling
on the spot. Alister's eyes gave a flash or two, but on the whole he
"kept a calm sough," and put the other side of the question.
He said a good deal, but the matter really lay in small compass. The
profession of arms is not highly paid. It was true that the pay was poor
enough as a seaman, and the life far harder, but then he was only bound
for each voyage. At other times he was his own master, and having
"gained an insight into" trading from his late captain, he saw
indefinite possibilities before him. Alister seemed to have great faith
in openings, opportunities, chances, &c., and he said frankly that he
looked upon his acquired seamanship simply as a means of paying his
passage to any part of the habitable globe where fortunes could be made.
"Then why not stick together?" cried Dennis. "Make your way up to
Halifax with us, Alister dear. Maybe you'll find your cousin at home
this time, and if not, at the worst, there's the captain of our old ship
promised ye employment. Who knows but we'll all go home in her together?
Ah, let's keep the Shamrock whole if we can."
"But you see, Dennis," said the lieutenant, "Alister would regard a
voyage to England as a step backward, as far as his objects are
concerned."
Dennis always maintained that you could never contrive to agree with
Alister so closely that he would not find room to differ from you.
So he nudged me again (and I kicked him once more), when Alister began
to explain that he wouldn't just say _that_, for that during the two or
three days when he was idle at Liverpool he had been into a free library
to look at the papers, and had had a few words of converse with a decent
kind of an old body, who was a care-taker in a museum where they bought
birds and beasts and the like from seafaring men that got them in
foreign parts. So that it had occurred to him that if he could pick up a
few natural curiosities in the tropics, he might do worse, supposing his
cousin be still absent from Halifax, than keep himself from idleness, by
taking service in our old ship, with the chance of doing a little
trading at the Liverpool Museum.
"I wish I hadn't broken that gorgeous lump of coral Alfonso gave me,"
said Dennis. "But it's as brittle as egg-shell, though I rather fancy
the half of it would astonish most museums. You're a wonderful boy,
Alister! Ah, we'll all live to see the day when you're a millionaire,
laying the foundation-stone of some of these big things the Aberdeen men
build, and speechifying away to the rising generation of how ye began
life with nothing but a stuffed Demerary parrot in your pocket. Willie,
can't ye lend me some kind of a gun, that I may get him a few of these
highly-painted fowl of the air? If I had but old Barney at my elbow
now--GOD rest his soul!--we'd give a good account of ourselves among the
cockatoos. Many's the lot of sea-birds we've brought home in the hooker
to stuff the family pillows. But I'm no hand at preparing a bird for
stuffing."
"I'll cure them," said I; "the school-master taught me."
"Then we're complete entirely, and Alister 'll die Provost of Aberdeen.
Haven't I got the whole plan in my head? (And it's the first of the
O'Moores that ever developed a genius for business!) Swap crimson macaws
with green breasts in Liverpool for cheap fizzing drinks; trade them in
the thirsty tropics for palm-oil; steer for the north pole, and retail
that to the oleaginous Esquimaux for furs; sell them in Paris in the
autumn for what's left of the summer fashions, and bring these back to
the ladies of Demerary; buy--"
"Dennis! stop that chattering," cried our host; "there's some one at the
door."
We listened. There was a disturbance below stairs, and the young officer
opened the door and shouted for his servant, on which O'Brien came up
three at a time.
"What is it, O'Brien?"
"A Chinese, your honour. I asked him his business, and not a word but
gibberish will he let out of him. But he's brought no papers nor parcels
at all, and sorra peep will I let him have of your honour's room. The
haythen thief!"
But even as O'Brien spoke, a Chinaman, in a China blue dress, passed
between him and the door-post, and stood in the room.
"Who are you?" asked the engineer peremptorily.
"Ah-Fo," was the reply, and the Chinaman bowed low.
"You can understand English, if you can't speak it, eh?"
The Chinaman smiled. His eyes rolled round the room till he caught sight
of Alister, then suddenly producing three letters, fanwise, as if he
were holding a hand at whist, he jerked up the centre one, like a
"forced" card in a trick, and said softly, "For you"--and still looking
round with the others in his hand, he added, "For two; allee same as
you," and as Alister distributed them to Dennis and me, his wooden face
took a few wrinkles of contempt, and he added, "One nigger bringee.
Mister Macdonald, he send me."
After this explanation he stood quite still. Even his face was unmoved,
but his eyes went round and to every corner of the room. I was so
absorbed in watching him that Dennis was reading his letter aloud before
I had opened mine. But they were all alike, with the exception of our
names. They were on pink paper, and highly scented. This was Dennis
O'Moore's:
"_Hymeneal_.--Mr. Alfonso St. Vincent and Miss Georgiana Juba's
compliments are respectfully offered, and will be happy of Mr. Dennis
O'Moore's company on the occasion of the celebration of their nuptials.
Luncheon at twelve on the auspicious day, Saturday ----"
"Oh, botheration! It's six weeks hence," said Dennis. "Will we be here,
I wonder?"
"We'll go if we are." "Poor old Alfonso!" "Well done, Alfonso!" Such
were our sentiments, and we expressed them in three polite notes, which
the Chinaman instantaneously absorbed into some part of his person, and
having put the hand with which he took them to his head and bowed lowly
as before, he went away. And O'Brien, giving one vicious dust with his
coat-sleeve of the door-post, which Ah-Fo had contaminated by a passing
touch, followed the "heathen thief" to see him safe off the premises.
"That's a strange race, now----" began Alister, but I ran to the window,
for Dennis was on the balcony watching for the Chinaman, and remembering
the scene on the stelling, I anticipated fun.
"Hi, there! Fe-fo-fum, or whatever it is that they call ye!"
Ah-Fo looked up with a smile of delighted recognition, which, as Dennis
gave a few preliminary stamps, and began to whistle and shuffle,
expanded into such hearty laughter, that he was obliged to sit down to
it by the roadside.
"Look here, Dennis," said our host; "we shall have a crowd collecting if
you go on with this tomfoolery. Send him off."
"All right, old fellow. Beg your pardon. Good-bye, Te-to-tum."
It was not a respectful farewell, but there is a freemasonry of
friendliness apart from words. Dennis had a kindly heart toward his
fellow-creatures everywhere, and I never knew his fellow-creatures fail
to find it out.
"Good-bye," said Ah-Fo, lingeringly.
"Good-bye again. I say, old mandarin," added the incorrigible Dennis,
leaning confidentially over the balcony, "got on pretty well below
there? Or did O'Brien keep the tail of his eye too tight on ye? Did ye
manage to coax a greatcoat of a hall-table or any other trifle of the
kind up those sleeves of yours?"
This time Ah-Fo looked genuinely bewildered, but he gazed at Dennis as
if he would have given anything to understand him.
"Uppee sleevee--you know?" said Dennis, illustrating his meaning by
signs. ("Chinese is a mighty easy language, Willie, I find, when you're
used to it.")
A grin of intelligence spread from ear to ear on Ah-Fo's countenance.
"Eyah!" said he, and with one jerk he produced our three letters,
fan-fashion, in his right hand, and then they vanished as quickly, and
he clapped his empty palms and cried, "Ha, ha! Ha, ha!"
"It's clever, there's no denying," said Alister, "but it's an uncanny
kind of cleverness."
Something uncannier was to come. Ah-Fo had stood irresolute for a minute
or two, then he appeared to make up his mind, and coming close under the
balcony he smiled at Dennis and said, "You lookee here." Then feeling
rapidly in the inner part of his dress he brought out a common needle,
which he held up to us, then pricked his finger to show that it was
sharp, and held it up again, crying, "You see?"
"I see," said Dennis. "Needle. Allee same as pin, barring that a pin's
got a head with no eye in it, and a needle's got an eye with no head to
it."
"You no talkee, you lookee," pleaded Ah-Fo.
"One for you, Dennis," laughed the engineer. We looked, and Ah-Fo put
the needle into his mouth and swallowed it. He gave himself a pat or two
and made some grimaces to show that it felt rather prickly going down,
and then he produced a second needle, and tested and then swallowed
that. In this way he seemed to swallow twelve needles, nor, with the
closest watching, could we detect that they went anywhere but into his
mouth.
"Will he make it a baker's dozen, I wonder?" gasped Dennis.
But this time Ah-Fo produced a small ball of thread, and it followed the
needles, after which he doubled himself up in uneasy contortions, which
sent us into fits of laughter. Then he put his fingers into his
mouth--we watched closely--and slowly, yard after yard, he drew forth
the unwound thread, and all the twelve needles were upon it. And whilst
we were clapping and cheering him, both needles and thread disappeared
as before.
Ah-Fo was evidently pleased by our approval, and by the shower of coins
with which our host rewarded his performance, but when he had disposed
of them in his own mysterious fashion, some source of discontent seemed
yet to remain. He looked sadly at Dennis and said, "Ah-Fo like to do so,
allee same as you." And then began gravely to shuffle his feet about, in
vain efforts, as became evident, to dance an Irish jig. We tried to
stifle our laughter, but he was mournfully conscious of his own failure,
and, when Dennis whistled the tune, seemed to abandon the task in
despair, and console himself by an effort to recall the original
performance. After standing for a few seconds with his eyes shut and his
head thrown back, so that his pig-tail nearly touched the ground, the
scene appeared to return to his memory. "Eyah!" he chuckled, and turned
to go, laughing as he went.
"Don't forget the letters. Uppee sleevee, old Tea-tray!" roared Dennis.
Ah-Fo flirted them out once more. "Ha! ha! ha!" laughed he, and went
finally away.