by strong smell of French-polish and fusty straw. Large "House
to Let" boards and posters prominently disposed. Present._
EDWIN _and_ ANGELINA, _and a blandly loquacious person, in
black broadcloth, with a big foolscap-paper Inventory, and a
blunt-pointed pencil._
_Loquacious Person_ (_fluently_). Why you see, Madam, Mr. PAWNEE
LIVERLESS 'ad to leave for Bombay early yesterday mornin', and was
therefore obliged to leave the sale of his furniture in our hands.
But he is an old client of ours, Mr. LIVERLESS is, and he has given us
_carte blanche_ as regards the disposition of his effects. Only they
_must_ be sold at once. A retired Colonel at Notting Hill, who seemed
_very_ sweet on the bargain, promised me a decided answer by twelve
o'clock to-day. It has not come, and I am free to negotiate with
the next comer for the furniture as it stands, provided an immediate
settlement can be arrived at. _Wait_ I cannot, but in any other
pertikler I shall be only _too_ 'appy to meet your views.
_Edwin_. I see the furniture is quite new?
_L.P._ (_with cheery candour_). Well, no Sir, not quite. Oh, I'll not
deceive you! It has been in use a few months, and, as you see, is none
the worse for _that_. Better, if anything, being fully tested as to
seasoning. I need 'ardly tell _you_, Sir, that new furniture nowadays
is a ticklish thing to invest in. _Such_ tricks, my dear Sir, _such_
nefarious dodges and artful fakements! (_Sighs._) But--(_taking up a
chair and banging it vigorously but adroitly on the floor_)--_this_
is stuff you can depend on, and 'll be better three years hence than
it is to-day. This saddle-bag _sweet_, Madam, is simply luxurious,
good enough for any doocal dinin'-room; the carpets throughout
are as elegantly hesthetick in design, as they are substantial in
fabric, whilst the--ahem! sleeping apartments, are perfect pickters
of combined solidity and chaste elegance. _I_ always say, that as
a real gentleman is known by his linen, so the 'ome of a party
of true taste may be tested by the bed-rooms. You'll excuse me,
Madam--(_smirks_)--but such are _my_ sentiments, _not_ as a salesman,
but as a family man.
[L.P. _takes_ EDWIN _and_ ANGELINA _the round of the
house, expatiating glowingly but discreetly as he goes, and
ultimately effects sale of the "furniture as it stands" for
a liberally proffered "ten-pun note off the advertised sum
tottle."_